Catherine's Assistance
Within the walls of Lady Penelope's home I'd felt quite safe, but as we drove back from dropping Jeff (as he now insisted I call him) off at the airport, I was beginning to feel distinctly edgy. Even the protective shell of FAB One wasn't a consolation.
"M'Lady!" Parker said, and something in his tone made a flock of butterflies lift off in my stomach. "HI believe we are being followed."
"How tiresome." Lady Penelope said. Tiresome for her maybe, but I was wide awake. "Do we know who it is Parker?"
"I 'ave an idea it may be that bald 'eaded geezer."
Alarm bells started reverberating through my brain.
"Hmm." Lady Penelope mused. "This may work in our favour. Are you quite sure it is the same gentleman Parker?"
"Well seein' 'as 'e's got a ruddy great gun pointed at us, I think there's a good chance."
"You may be right, Parker." Lady Penelope said as a shell whistled past and slammed into the bank beside us. Clods of dirt hailed down onto the car.
"How does he plan to get information out of me if I'm dead?" I asked - reasonably I thought, under the circumstances.
"I don't know." Lady Penelope conceded. "I can't understand the criminal mind. Can you Parker?"
What Parker thought of the question was lost in the concussion of another shell blast.
"This calls for desperate action." Lady Penelope shifted in her seat slightly. "Full harnesses everyone. It's time to use Brains' 'Catherine Wheel Manoeuvre'.
Steel manacles slide out from under the leather upholstery beside me. Remembering my dream I tried not to panic.
"Don't worry." Lady Penelope soothed as she assisted me into the harness. "It's fully padded. You'll be quite comfortable."
Soon all three of us had our arms, legs, torso and head secured to the car.
"Now we wait for another shell." Lady Penelope told me.
"Parker appeared to have given up driving, pinned as he was by his safety harness. The car was somehow steering itself. This didn't reassure me.
"What," I asked nervously, "Is 'Brains' Catherine Wheel Manoeuvre'?"
"Do you know what a Catherine Wheel is?" I was unable to look at Lady Penelope as she was speaking because of my head restraint.
"A firework that spins around?"
"Exactly."
I didn't like the sound of this. "So whaaaaaaaaa"
Another shell had exploded beside us. The shock waves had no sooner hit when we were spinning, rolling and burning. Flames shot past the gull wing canopy. We hit a bump and were launched into the air, falling back to the ground with an almighty jolt. Our bodies strained against our bonds, but were saved from injury. Then we were rolling downhill, over and over, nose to tail before finally coming to rest upside down. There was a deafening explosion, which settled back to a gentle roar.
Was it my imagination or did I hear that maniacal laugh?
"Are you all right, M'Lady?" Parker asked anxiously.
"Perfectly Parker." Even after that upheaval she still sounded unruffled.
"3 2?"
"F-f-fine thanks Parker, and you?"
"I'd be a blinkin' sight better if hI weren't 'angin' upside down!"
In spite of myself I laughed. "I think I agree with you there Parker."
"Is the coast clear, Parker?" Lady Penelope asked.
He brought up a video image and a radar screen. "Fancy 'e's legged it M'Lady."
"Good. We can right ourselves then. One does feel so out of sorts when one is unable to check one's hair."
"Very good, M'Lady."
Parker freed an arm and pressed a button on the dashboard. The last of the fire was extinguished. Then the gull wing door on my side started to open. As it did so the great car started to roll, with a few hiccoughs, closer to its correct orientation. It teetered for a moment on its' side and then fell, with a resounding jolt, so it was now the right way up.
"All systems operational, Parker?" Lady Penelope asked as we disentangled ourselves from our harnesses.
"Hokey doke." Parker answered flippantly. "'Ome M'Lady."
"Home Parker."
Within the walls of Lady Penelope's home I'd felt quite safe, but as we drove back from dropping Jeff (as he now insisted I call him) off at the airport, I was beginning to feel distinctly edgy. Even the protective shell of FAB One wasn't a consolation.
"M'Lady!" Parker said, and something in his tone made a flock of butterflies lift off in my stomach. "HI believe we are being followed."
"How tiresome." Lady Penelope said. Tiresome for her maybe, but I was wide awake. "Do we know who it is Parker?"
"I 'ave an idea it may be that bald 'eaded geezer."
Alarm bells started reverberating through my brain.
"Hmm." Lady Penelope mused. "This may work in our favour. Are you quite sure it is the same gentleman Parker?"
"Well seein' 'as 'e's got a ruddy great gun pointed at us, I think there's a good chance."
"You may be right, Parker." Lady Penelope said as a shell whistled past and slammed into the bank beside us. Clods of dirt hailed down onto the car.
"How does he plan to get information out of me if I'm dead?" I asked - reasonably I thought, under the circumstances.
"I don't know." Lady Penelope conceded. "I can't understand the criminal mind. Can you Parker?"
What Parker thought of the question was lost in the concussion of another shell blast.
"This calls for desperate action." Lady Penelope shifted in her seat slightly. "Full harnesses everyone. It's time to use Brains' 'Catherine Wheel Manoeuvre'.
Steel manacles slide out from under the leather upholstery beside me. Remembering my dream I tried not to panic.
"Don't worry." Lady Penelope soothed as she assisted me into the harness. "It's fully padded. You'll be quite comfortable."
Soon all three of us had our arms, legs, torso and head secured to the car.
"Now we wait for another shell." Lady Penelope told me.
"Parker appeared to have given up driving, pinned as he was by his safety harness. The car was somehow steering itself. This didn't reassure me.
"What," I asked nervously, "Is 'Brains' Catherine Wheel Manoeuvre'?"
"Do you know what a Catherine Wheel is?" I was unable to look at Lady Penelope as she was speaking because of my head restraint.
"A firework that spins around?"
"Exactly."
I didn't like the sound of this. "So whaaaaaaaaa"
Another shell had exploded beside us. The shock waves had no sooner hit when we were spinning, rolling and burning. Flames shot past the gull wing canopy. We hit a bump and were launched into the air, falling back to the ground with an almighty jolt. Our bodies strained against our bonds, but were saved from injury. Then we were rolling downhill, over and over, nose to tail before finally coming to rest upside down. There was a deafening explosion, which settled back to a gentle roar.
Was it my imagination or did I hear that maniacal laugh?
"Are you all right, M'Lady?" Parker asked anxiously.
"Perfectly Parker." Even after that upheaval she still sounded unruffled.
"3 2?"
"F-f-fine thanks Parker, and you?"
"I'd be a blinkin' sight better if hI weren't 'angin' upside down!"
In spite of myself I laughed. "I think I agree with you there Parker."
"Is the coast clear, Parker?" Lady Penelope asked.
He brought up a video image and a radar screen. "Fancy 'e's legged it M'Lady."
"Good. We can right ourselves then. One does feel so out of sorts when one is unable to check one's hair."
"Very good, M'Lady."
Parker freed an arm and pressed a button on the dashboard. The last of the fire was extinguished. Then the gull wing door on my side started to open. As it did so the great car started to roll, with a few hiccoughs, closer to its correct orientation. It teetered for a moment on its' side and then fell, with a resounding jolt, so it was now the right way up.
"All systems operational, Parker?" Lady Penelope asked as we disentangled ourselves from our harnesses.
"Hokey doke." Parker answered flippantly. "'Ome M'Lady."
"Home Parker."