Five years. It took me five long years to see what had been in front of my
nose the whole time. This was the same nose which she had pointed out dirt
on five years before. How could I have known when she walked into our
compartment that she was the one? How could I have known that underneath
the bushy hair and large teeth was a heart that would steal my own?
The day I realized the truth was nothing special. She had her hair in a ponytail, her face free of makeup. But the moment I saw her, I knew. And she had never looked more beautiful than she did right then.
My nights became filled with dreams of her. My days were spent watching her. I noticed the way she bit on her lip during potions exams. The way her eyes would dart when she knew the answer. And, very slowly, I noticed the way she looked at him.
He was our best friend, but I wonder now if we ever really knew him. He was the hero, we were the sidekicks. He had responsibilities we could never imagine. And he never broke down.not once.
He had grown up with nothing. And now he had everything. It was the hardest thing I've ever done, waking up every day and never letting on how very jealous I was. Everything came to him effortlessly. He soared the moment he touched a broomstick. It took me two years to learn to properly mount one. He broke the Imperius curse at fourteen. I never could. And, with only a smile and a kind word, he captured the heart of the one thing I desperately wanted.
Try as I could, I was never angry at him. He didn't know what he had taken from me. He had no idea about my feelings. I'm not sure he even knew her feelings. The week after I first noticed the way she looked at him, he left.
He left us a note. He was sorry, but this was something he had to do. It was what he was born to do. And for the first time, I held her in my arms, as she cried tear after tear. Tears for him.
We tried our best to continue our lives. A year passed with no word. Slowly, she began to look at me differently. And that look was all I needed. Within a week, we were dating. Hundreds came up to me, each with one word: finally. There was one, however, who had a different message. My own sister. She looked at me sadly, with tears in her eyes. And she warned me, not to forget, that before there was ever me, there had been him.
I paid my sister's warning no attention. I had the girl of my dreams, and we were in love. I ignored the fact that every so often, her embrace would be stiff. Her kiss would be forced. And her mind would be in another place entirely.
On our 6 month anniversary, he returned. He had done what he had set out to do. The magic world was forever rid of the evil which he had conquered. Again, he was the hero. And I was nothing. And I slowly realized, despite what I had thought, I had nothing. For I had never had her.
It was only a week before she broke up with me. And then, she held me while I cried. I cried over the unfairness of it all. I cried over losing her. Most of all, I cried at the realization that out relationship had started and ended with tears caused by him.
She had never loved me. I realize that now. He had always been first in her eyes. I was just there.a friend she needed at the darkest time in her life. Despite my best efforts, he had won her. And he had done it effortlessly.
Sometimes at night, I sit alone and I remember. I remember the days she and I spent together. I remember the day he came back. And I remember the day they shared their first kiss.
I watched, my presence unknown, as tears slipped down my cheeks. And, with one final tear, I let her go. I let the dreams go. Because, even through eyes blurred with tears, I could see her happiness. Happiness I could never give her. Happiness that he could. Happiness- which was all I could ever wish for her.
The day I realized the truth was nothing special. She had her hair in a ponytail, her face free of makeup. But the moment I saw her, I knew. And she had never looked more beautiful than she did right then.
My nights became filled with dreams of her. My days were spent watching her. I noticed the way she bit on her lip during potions exams. The way her eyes would dart when she knew the answer. And, very slowly, I noticed the way she looked at him.
He was our best friend, but I wonder now if we ever really knew him. He was the hero, we were the sidekicks. He had responsibilities we could never imagine. And he never broke down.not once.
He had grown up with nothing. And now he had everything. It was the hardest thing I've ever done, waking up every day and never letting on how very jealous I was. Everything came to him effortlessly. He soared the moment he touched a broomstick. It took me two years to learn to properly mount one. He broke the Imperius curse at fourteen. I never could. And, with only a smile and a kind word, he captured the heart of the one thing I desperately wanted.
Try as I could, I was never angry at him. He didn't know what he had taken from me. He had no idea about my feelings. I'm not sure he even knew her feelings. The week after I first noticed the way she looked at him, he left.
He left us a note. He was sorry, but this was something he had to do. It was what he was born to do. And for the first time, I held her in my arms, as she cried tear after tear. Tears for him.
We tried our best to continue our lives. A year passed with no word. Slowly, she began to look at me differently. And that look was all I needed. Within a week, we were dating. Hundreds came up to me, each with one word: finally. There was one, however, who had a different message. My own sister. She looked at me sadly, with tears in her eyes. And she warned me, not to forget, that before there was ever me, there had been him.
I paid my sister's warning no attention. I had the girl of my dreams, and we were in love. I ignored the fact that every so often, her embrace would be stiff. Her kiss would be forced. And her mind would be in another place entirely.
On our 6 month anniversary, he returned. He had done what he had set out to do. The magic world was forever rid of the evil which he had conquered. Again, he was the hero. And I was nothing. And I slowly realized, despite what I had thought, I had nothing. For I had never had her.
It was only a week before she broke up with me. And then, she held me while I cried. I cried over the unfairness of it all. I cried over losing her. Most of all, I cried at the realization that out relationship had started and ended with tears caused by him.
She had never loved me. I realize that now. He had always been first in her eyes. I was just there.a friend she needed at the darkest time in her life. Despite my best efforts, he had won her. And he had done it effortlessly.
Sometimes at night, I sit alone and I remember. I remember the days she and I spent together. I remember the day he came back. And I remember the day they shared their first kiss.
I watched, my presence unknown, as tears slipped down my cheeks. And, with one final tear, I let her go. I let the dreams go. Because, even through eyes blurred with tears, I could see her happiness. Happiness I could never give her. Happiness that he could. Happiness- which was all I could ever wish for her.