Since this is such a dark fic, I figure we'll start out with my trademark light disclaimer:
Disclaimer:So, I was in Spike's crypt the other night, trying to get him to dump Buffy and marry me. Suddenly, he walked towards me, and pulled me into a kiss. After several moments, he pulled back. "Luv, there's something we need to discuss." Spike said "Yes, my favorite platinum blond demon?" I asked. "Well, you see," he began, "I'm truly fictional, created by Joss Whedon and a company called Mutant Enemy" I squezed him tightly and said "Honey, stop pretending and give me some love." I pushed him forcfully onto the baby blue couch(I did a little redecorating while I was there) and tried to set the mood. But, much to my dismay, he got up and yelled "Bloody hell woman! Just for that, you're not gettin' ANY cash my show makes!!! Bugger, you're worse than Harm!!" Jeez! Vampires nowadays!
FiC hErE:
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As soon as I saw her blood spill on me, I knew. My heart went cold and hard. I became worse than any demon I have ever faced. I was more primitive than a vampire. My body, my soul, my entire being, was set on one thing. Killing Warren.
My mind was killing while my heart was bleeding. I stood firm while inside I was breaking. I fed on his pleas and thrived off his screams. And I laughed at his pain because this body knew more.
I searched for him, my mind blank and my eyes black. When I found him near those woods, he tried to run away. But we both knew it was pointless. He begged for his worthless life, and I smiled. We all will die someday. Warren's had just come early.
My eyes were dark, mirrioring my soul. Like pools, they were unable to overflow. I wanted to colapse and let it all out, but in this world, being weak is not an option. Everything I had been taught, everything I believed in, disappeared. When it comes down to it, we are all alone.
Of course, pleading only made his death more painful. As the bullet individually pierced his every vital organ, I relished. I was in my element. This was the one thing I was good at, that I had been for years without realizing it. Buffy's gift is death. Mine is pain.
I never fit in, no one understood me. Until her. She was the one who believed in me, the one who would always love me. Now she's gone. Suddenly, there's nothing to live for. The only comforting thought was to bring misery to the one who brought this on me. Tell me, if you had the power, wouldn't you do the same?
Of course the Scoobies saved the day once again. Part of me was relieved. The other part of me still thinks I should have just ended it all. End the pain that we all go through. End the suffering that comes with life. Maybe it would have been better that way.
You think you know me. Well, guess again. You don't. Nobody does. I'm not even sure I do at this point. I'm tired of being reliable old Willow. It's time for a change. This is me. Buffy and the others can't see it. May be they just don't want to.
They think I'm sorry for what I've done. I'm not. Warren got evberything he deserved. If I had to do it over, I wouldn't change a thing. Why am I still here? No one in this life really needs me anymore. I might as well be dead. From what Buffy's told me, death isn't half bad. I'd be with Tara again. That's all that really matters. So here goes. Save a Snoopy dance for me, Xander.
My mind was killing while my heart was bleeding. I stood firm while inside I was breaking. I fed on his pleas and thrived off his screams. And I laughed at his pain because this body knows more.