Chapter I
In the realm of Upper Earth there land lies divided among four warrior countries, among four rings.
Mars, with the Ruling Ring. One ring with the power to cause the land to tremble and the people to bow. One ring with the power to rule them all.
Kontu possesses the Jumping Ring. This ring would allow the wearer to jump any distance, letting them scour the ground for their enemies.
Ares controls the Power Ring, which allows the wearer to have incredible strength to help on the battlefield.
Thor owns the Shadow Ring, which allows the controller to disappear into surrounding shadows for protection.
One Ring to rule them all,
One Ring to find them
One Ring to bring them all,
And in the darkness bind them.
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"This war is foolishness!"Princess Cap cried, tears welling up in her eyes."It has gone on far too long! How many men have we lost, and who can remember when or why this battle began?"
She looked imploringly at the only other occupants of the room: Princesses Pike, Vi and Aqua of the continents Thor, Ares and Mars.
"It began because each of our contries want the Ring,"Princess Pike said darkly."Are you saying you wish to give up fighting for them?"
"It has never been my wish to fight for things that do not belong to me,"Cap shot back."I do not want my people to suffer because of the selfishness of my ancestors."
"But if you withdraw from the war our soldiers will besiege your castle,"Vi pointed out, gesturing to Aqua and Pike."They will take the Ring unless you fight back."
"That is why I am asking you all to stop!"Cap shouted."I swear not to attack your countries! Can't you see that all I want it peace?"
"I'll never give up!"Pike snarled, slamming her fist down on the table."I want those Rings!"
"I'll only stop if the others do,"Aqua said.
"Me too!"Vi exclaimed.
"Fools!"Cap snapped."We haven't seen peace in this country for five hundred years!"
"But what of the Ring of Middle Earth?"Aqua asked."Do not each of us want to find it?"
"I was told that it was only a myth,"Vi said."And even if it wasn't, how should we be able to find it? Many have looked, but none have succeeded in discovering it."
"Then what is the use of fighting each other for something that might not even exist?!"Cap demanded."If we become so involved in fighting, we will never have the time to search for it."
"I don't care about that,"Pike said impatiently, waving the matter aside."Why is the Ring so important to you? Why don't you give it to me?"
"Because with this Ring I can protect the people of Kontu!"Cap exclaimed."Isn't that why each of you want to keep your Rings?"
"No,"Pike sneered."I wish to be the most powerful queen the world will ever see."
"You're not a queen yet, unless the rumours are true and you killed your father,"Vi scoffed.
"How dare you make such an assumption!"Pike pulled out her two mallets and brandished them while Vi fell into a fighting stance.
"Princesses, may I remind you of the fact that this is a peace conference?"Aqua said calmly.
The two of them glared at each other and sat down.
"How do you intend to find this One Ring?"Cap demanded."Must I remind you that myths are not based on fact?"
"But it must exist!"Vi protested."The story has been passed down in my family for generations."
"Are you saying it's a legend, then?"Aqua asked.
"Perhaps,"Vi shrugged."In any case, maybe we could band together to find it."
"Never!"Pike shrieked, getting up so fast she knocked her chair over."I will never help you find something so precious, only to have one of you steal it from me!"
"Calm yourself, princess!"Aqua said sternly."I can already tell that you are strongly opposed to ending this war."
"You're very observant,"Pike snapped.
"And you obviously aren't,"Vi scowled."f you wish power, you already have it. If you do obtain the One Ring, all it will cause is destruction. Yes, you might become the most feared princess ever, but you are too selfish to think about what would happen to your people!"
"My people are worthless serfs,"Pike snarled.
"And without the serfs, who would plow your fields and sow your grains?"Cap said angrily."Your kingdom would collapse, princess."
"Then I will take one of your countries,"Pike said airily.
"Alone, princess? I find this hard to believe,"Aqua said sagely.
"No, with the armies of the shadows. You shall all fall before the wrath of Thor!"Pike jumped up, slipping on her ring while drawing out her mallets.
"You will never take over our countries! You will never be able to with such unpure thoughts!"Vi spat."Will you not agree to – what was that?!"
"Treachery!"Pike screamed."Capricorn set her forced against us when we wouldn't readily agree!"
The ground shook and cracked underneath them. The four princesses fell down towards a fate unknown.
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Cap sat up and looked around. She was surrounded by tall grass. Vi, Pike and Aqua were also there, rubbing their heads and picking grass out of their hair.
"What is going on…?"Vi asked, observing the field full of long grass."The grass doesn't grow like this in Upper Earth."
"That's because we aren't in Upper Earth, nimrod,"Pike snapped.
"Maybe somebody around here knows where we are,"Vi continues, standing up and looking around."There are little kids running over there… and there's smoke coming out of those hills. Strange."
"Move over,"Pike said, shoving past Vi."We call that a chimney stuck in a hill. And there's a door stuck on the side of that hill. Therefore, there's a house in that hill."
Vi rolled her eyes.
"That isn't very princess-like behaviour,"Aqua pointed out.
"Oh well,"Vi snapped.
They started up toward the small village of hill-houses. A cart carrying a child with dark, curly hair and a man with a long beard rumbled past as they approached the dirt road, and disappeared around a bend.
"There sure are a lot of children around here,"Aqua commented.
The house across the road from them burst open and two children came bumbling out, carrying what appeared to be tall glasses of ale. They stopped in front of the four princesses, and each did a double-take.
"Blimey!"said the short one."Those sure are tall people!"
"Do you think they're Men?"asked the other.
"Men?!"Vi shrieked."We are women!"
"Calm down,"Cap said, smiling and ruffling the shorter child's hair."What is your name, little boy?"
"Pippin,"said the short one indignantly."And I'm not a boy! I'm twenty-nine years old!"
"Oh…"Cap said, standing straight."Then why are you so tiny? And why are your feet so big and hairy?"
"Those feet are revolting!"Aqua exclaimed.
"I think they're cute,"Cap said.
"I'm a Hobbit!"Pippin shouted."We're all this short. This here's Merry. He's my cousin."
"Oh, hi!"Cap exclaimed, smiling widely."I do not know what a Hobbit is, but if they are all as cute as you two, I think I like them!"
Pike rolled her eyes."Alright, Peter, would you be so kind as to tell us where we are?"
Merry frowned."His name is Pippin. And right now you are in the Shire."
The four princesses looked confused.
"There Shire?"Aqua repeated.
"I suppose you wouldn't know about us. Most of Gondor's folks don't."
"Gondor?!"
"Well, if you're not from Gondor, then where are you from?"
"We are the four princesses of Upper Earth,"Aqua said."Of the continents of Mars, Thor, Kontu and Ares."
It was Merry and Pippin's turn to look confused.
"Upper Earth?"said Merry.
"Yes, Melvin, Upper Earth,"Pike said with a certain chill in her voice she reserved for those below her – in this case, literally.
"His name's Merry!"Vi exclaimed."And hi Merry, hi Pippin. My name is Vi, and I'm the princess from Ares. Nice to meet you!"
"Hello!"they chorused.
Aqua suddenly began to act very diplomatic. She gave a small bow, more of a nod, then a formal introduction.
"Hello, my name is Aquarius of Mars, Princess of the royal kingdom."
Pike snorted."Royal kingdom? In your dreams."
"Well, my name's Capricorn,"said Cap."I am very pleased to meet you delightful creatures."
Vi muffled a laugh and said something that sounded like "flirt".
"You all seem to know each other. Are you all friends?"Pippin asked.
"Friends?!"Cap said incredulously.
Vi and Aqua were snorting, while Pike was almost doubled over in laughter.
"Look, Paul-"Pike started.
"IT'S PIPPIN!"
"Our countries have been at war for five hundred years,"Pike continued, wipin tears from her eyes."We are much more likely to kill each other than befriend each other."
"Merry and Pippin, would you be so kind as to show us to your leader… or perhaps elder?"Aqua asked politely.
"We have no leader. But we shall take you to Bilbo's house,"Pippin said.
"Bi – Bilbo?!"Vi said, stifling laughter.
Merry frowned."Why do you laugh?"
"Well… Bilbo is a very odd name,"Cap admitted."None in our world go by that name."
"None go by your names in Middle Earth,"Pippin said sourly.
"Middle Earth?!"Pike said excitedly."Do you know where I can find the One Ring?!"
Merry and Pippin looked blank.
"The One Ring?"Merry said quizzically."What is that?"
"I told you it didn't exist!"Cap hissed.
"Well it was worth a shot,"Aqua sighed.
"Five hundred years of war for nothing,"Cap said, downcast.
"What is this 'One Ring'?"Merry asked.
"Well, our kingdoms, as you know, have been at war for five hundred years. The reason we've been at war is because we each wanted the One Ring, which is supposedly here,"Vi said."But we have also been fighting for each other's rings." She pulled out a chain from around her neck with a silver ring on it."This – this is the Ring of Power. Around, cold blue markings appear on it."
"Give that here!"Pike growled.
"Nope!"Vi said.
"Please stop fighting!"Cap wailed."Let us at least try to get along while we figure out a way to return home."
Pike rolled her eyes."I'm tired of you trying to get us all to be friends! It is never going to happen, do you not see? I want all of your rings, and I refure to give up until I have them and the One Ring."
"Oh, piss off!"Vi shouted."Get a life for a few seconds so we can at least figure out what's going on here." She turned to Merry and Pippin."Can you two please take us to Mister Bilbo?"
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A few minutes later, the four of them were standing outside a hill with a door placed on it.
"Oh, how quaint!"Cap gushed.
The six of them walked up to the door and Aqua knocked loudly.
"NO VISITORS!"screeched a voice from inside.
"Mr. Bilbo, this is very important!"Aqua said.
The large door swung open."Who are you? What do you want?"
Pippin stepped forward."We have brought these four ladies to you, as they have expressed to us a matter of concern."
"Yes, Mr. Bilbo, do you mind if we step inside?"Vi asked."This may take awhile to explain."
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Author's Notes: The title is only temporary. And don't hate us.