PG-13: Swearing
A/N: This one seems to be filled with flashbacks. Huh. Oh well. Next time maybe you'll get some more plot. Jack will be coming soon I promise!!
Flashbacks - Seems to me I'm fulfilling my own personal wish to get as many shippy missing scenes into eps as I possible can. *Giggle*. Ah, what the heck. Everyone has to have an aim? Right?
Another disclaimer just for the hell of it: Stargate SG-1 is an original MGM, Greenburg/Anderson, Gekko, Top Secret, Kawoosh! production. Any material relating to Stargate SG-1 is for entertainment only, and is in no way meant as an infringement on copyrights. In other words, I own nadda.
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*
He, the object of three months intense slave labour, came barrelling through her office door only moments after she had finally decided that maybe, maybe, it was time to go home. In fact, his entrance took her by surprise and the papers she was holding in her hands slid to the floor, scattering like white leaves across the carpet. '' Oh, hi, sir,'' she said. Stupidly.
He looked around her room, hands deep in his pockets. '' Carter... got a little.. messy, while I was gone.''
Gone. Such a short, simple word for where he'd been. Trapped, lost, away. From her.
'' I picked up some bad habits from Daniel,'' she murmured as they both crouched down and started sweeping up the sheets into some kind of order.
'' We'll work on it,'' the Colonel assured her cheerfully.
She shot him a look through her eyelashes, was relieved to see that he'd changed out of his Edoran clothes into a pair of jeans and a cream sweater that showed off his tan. '' Going home, sir?''
His reply was jubilant. '' Yes!''
At least he sounded like he wanted to this time. '' Um, I know Daniel and Teal'c did a lot of cleaning but your cupboards might just be a little empty. Except for the coffee.''
'' Coffee? Oh, of course. Teal'c cleaned?''
'' He likes feather dusters, apparently.''
'' I don't have a feather duster.''
'' Daniel did.''
'' That's really... disturbing.''
She smiled at him, really smiled. This was the Colonel she had missed, she told herself firmly. The banter, the witty comebacks, the constant need to make situations ironic. Not the secret looks, the occasional touches, the shared smiles and that one particular expression that he only saved for.....
Ah, God, it was happening again. Maybe Janet was right to be worried. Maybe what she'd thought of as just male-female attraction, a normal, healthy attraction for a man who was good and kind and passionate.... see? Who thought of their CO as passionate? Who?
Her. She did. Somewhere between blue dresses, rapid ageing, end-of-the-world, Tok'ra, Sam found herself... caring for him. In a way that, mindful of their positions and the command structure, really wasn't terribly appropriate. She'd even go so far, early, early one morning a few weeks ago, to look up that regulation in the regulations manual.
Then, of course, she'd thrown it across the room.
The papers collected, they stood and he shuffled his collection over to her, smiling ever so slightly. He rubbed a hand underneath his nose, then toyed with his ear. Fidgeting.
'' Sir?'' she asked, knowing he would have had some reason to come to see her, whatever flimsy it may be.
'' Sam, I-''
Sam? When was the last time he'd called her that? Somehow, it made her extremely nervous. '' Colonel, is something wrong?'' Other than, you know, the fact that you were SLEEPING with some woman while she was working her ass off to get him home. Did he know how much weight she had lost? Did he think the grey look was in for skin colour this year? She'd felt sick when he'd been gone, did he know that? Did he know that she'd missed him so much she'd felt sick?
No, he didn't. And he'd never know. She'd make damn sure of it.
'' No. Well, not with me. I'm glad to be home, Sam,'' he said, heavily.
She stared at him. '' Good. That's... good, sir.'' She deliberately emphasised the 'sir'.
O'Neill continued to fidget, moving from foot to foot. '' I didn't... I hope I didn't give you the impression... Laira was... this woman....''
'' Observant of you, Colonel.''
His mouth twitched. '' You do know what I'm trying to say, don't you?''
Honestly? She thought he was trying to apologise for his initial reaction to returning home, but there was no way she was going to let him go this easily. He had hurt her, and that scared her more than anything. If he could hurt her, then the feelings she had for him were deeper than they should be. '' I have no idea.''
'' Oh, for... Thank you!''
She grinned. '' Hard was it? Next time, you could write it on a piece of paper, slide it under my door and avoid all speech whatsoever.''
He had the grace to blush slightly. '' I'm crap with words, Carter, you know that.''
She sniffed, privately pleased that he'd even bothered. 2IC were supposed to rescue their COs. It was part of the job. Admittedly, 2IC were supposed to do it out of duty and respect, not confusingly strong emotions akin to the L-word. '' I think you're catching up with Daniel, though.''
'' Huh?''
'' Woman on every planet?''
'' Why you little... oi! Carter, come back here so I can give you a reprimand! Carter!
*
The file Maybourne had prepared for her was full of snippets from Ancient Egyptian mythology books and they painted a pretty attractive picture of the 'goddess' she was helping him to capture.
'' What are you going to do with her once you've got her?''
'' I was thinking of maybe buying back my way into the programme.''
She glanced at him sharply. With Maybourne, that could mean any number of things. God knew what was going on in the small world where the Stargate was general knowledge. '' Which programme?''
He smiled and glanced in the rear view mirror. '' Do you really want to know?''
Yes, actually, she did, but she had a feeling she wasn't going to find it out from him. For now, she'd go along with the ride, make the decisions that would have to be made once she had more information. She had no intention of trusting him completely.
Maybourne reached out and tapped the folder. '' Read up, Major. I want you to know everything that's in that file.''
'' It reads like one of Daniel's reports,'' she muttered.
'' That's because Dr Jackson wrote it.''
She blinked. '' What?''
'' Dr Jackson has written files on each and every major and minor god and goddess in Egyptian mythology. Each SG leader is supposed to be at least familiar with every file, should the information be useful.'' Maybourne chuckled. '' I can't imagine Colonel O'Neill spending much time reading, however.''
'' He doesn't need to. We've got Daniel,'' she pointed out defensively.
'' And Dr Jackson's penchant for dying doesn't bother you?''
Sam turned to look out of the window, haunted.
*
'' I'm sure Hammond understands that the car window just needed to go.''
Colonel O'Neill stared up at her from his prone position on his deck, eyes narrowed, hand shielding his eyes from the sunlight. '' What are you doing here?''
She tilted her head to the side, noted the bags under his eyes and empty bottles of beer sitting on the outside table. '' I should think that was obvious, sir. I came to see you.''
Carefully, as if his back was hurting, he edged his way into sitting and looked with some surprise about his deck. '' I think... I fell asleep.''
'' You think?''
'' I think, Carter. I'm drunk, Carter,'' he pointed out heavily.
She smiled faintly, her heart heavy from the loss of Daniel and the fear that her Colonel wasn't going to recover from that loss. '' Yes. I can see that.'' Her hand reached out, unbidden, and brushed a hand over his hair. She was surprised when he reached up, caught her hand and pressed it to his lips. Her heart leapt, while her conscience wept. '' Sir?''
'' Wanna sit with me?'' He was already pulling her down onto her knees - awkward considering her dress - and holding her hand tightly in his, so tightly that once she had finally sat, all he had to do was give it a good yank and she fell into him.
Sam couldn't help the yelp that she let loose when he tipped back onto the deck, arms around her, and she ended up half sprawled on top of him. '' God, Colonel...''
'' Shh. Listen.''
She sighed against his chest and turned her head to the side. He was drunk, she told herself - hopefully he wouldn't remember what he'd done the next day. '' To what?''
'' I don't know. It seemed a good way to shut you up.''
'' Oh, for crying out..'' Then she clamped her mouth shut, risked peeking a look up at his face. He didn't seem to have noticed, thank goodness, that she'd let slip one of his favourite phrases.
'' Daniel's dead,'' he said eventually.
A tingling began behind her eyes so she closed them quickly. '' Yes.''
'' He's dead.''
'' I know!''
'' I can't believe... I mean... Daniel.''
Despite his garbled words, she couldn't help but agree. Of all of them, it seemed unlikely that he would be the one to die first. '' I know,'' she sighed, one of her arms coming up to wrap around his rib cage. She could feel his hand on the small of her back, his fingers circling lightly. She didn't think he was aware of doing it.
'' I want a drink.''
She guessed that meant he wanted to move, so she started to sit up.
'' Hey! Where are you going?''
She stared into his panicked eyes. '' You said you wanted...''
'' I want a drink, but I need you.'' He shook his head at her, like she'd done something silly, and pulled her back down, this time both his arms coming around her. '' I'm not letting you go.''
Clearly, he was far more drunk that she'd previously thought. The way he'd said that, it had almost been... well, almost desperate. '' Okay, Colonel,'' she promised, resting her head over his heart, '' I'm not going anywhere.''
*
Three hours of driving, break, three hours of driving, break, three hours of driving, break. He was like a damn machine, Sam couldn't help but think as she climbed back into the passenger seat of the truck. She looked at him for any signs of tiredness, any sign at all that this pace was knocking him back, but all he did was smile at her, nod, and start the engine.
They continued driving late into the night, with Sam dozing in and out of consciousness. They were heading back into Colorado, which had been something of a surprise. The Goa'uld was in the same state as the primary defence force - how ironic.
'' Where are we going?''
'' It's a surprise.''
Sleepily, she leaned against the pillow she'd made with her folded sweater to protect her against the vibrations of the window. '' What happened to you, Maybourne? You were selling our secrets to the Russians.''
He snorted. '' Sure I was.''
'' You were,'' she pressed.
Maybourne reached up to scratch at his five-o'clock-shadow. '' I need a shave. There's a motel up here where we'll be stopping for the night.''
Sam sighed; this was intolerable.
'' Actually, I saw Colonel O'Neill rather more recently than you think.''
'' Did you?'' Sam tried to make her voice sound tired and wearily, as if she didn't care overmuch, when actually the opposite was true.
'' Yes. How do you think he found out what was happening to your dear general?''
He could only be referring to one thing - General Hammond's enforced retirement. But the Colonel's details about that event were sketchy beyond belief, in fact he down right avoided the topic whenever it was raised. Was Maybourne suggesting it was Colonel O'Neill who had got him out of prison?
Sam looked over at Maybourne. '' I don't believe you.''
'' He didn't tell you, then.''
'' He's my CO. He doesn't have to tell me anything.''
Maybourne smiled smugly. '' No, I can see that now. I would have thought you and him...'' He trailed off, alarmingly in Sam's mind. Surely he wasn't... Maybourne wasn't under the impression that...
She so had to smooth this out with a reasonable explanation, providing what Maybourne was saying was actually true. '' Just because we're both military doesn't mean he tells me any more than Daniel, or Teal'c. In fact, I imagine he'd tell Daniel more than me for that very reason.'' Even if there were other reasons now for the Colonel's distance from her beyond protecting her career.
Maybourne turned off the road, the truck bumping over uneven gravel as they entered another parking lot. '' Oh, look, vacancies. Aren't we lucky?''
Guess that was the end of the 'conversation', then.
Maybourne forked out for adjoining rooms, engaging the woman at the front desk in animated conversation. Not having the energy to pay attention to his lies, Sam wandered away, her eyes running around the small, dark reception. There was a soda dispenser over by the wall and she shoved in a few coins and got herself a Coke, glancing out of the dark window and seeing very little beyond dark shapes. She wondered how the night was going at the bar.
This was so surreal - any moment now, she was positive several armed Air Force officers (okay, so she had a really good imagination) were going to come flying through the window, accusing her of siding with a criminal and she'd be jailed for life. The Colonel would visit her once, at Christmas, and tell her he'd never loved her anyway. Daniel would refuse to speak to her. Her father would disown her. And Janet and Cassie would sob through the glass.
Yeah right.
Maybourne dangled a key in front of her, its bright yellow plastic tag blurring in front of her tired eyes. '' Yours. I got you a single bed. Hope you don't mind.''
Oh no. She was used to it.
*
Muttering to himself, Colonel O'Neill rolled onto his side and sighed. '' How come camping off-world is more comfortable than camping... on-world?''
Since Sam was the only one awake, her mind still on camp fires and solar flares, she answer, '' I don't know, sir. It's probably just psychological.'' She dragged her eyes away from the fire and looked at him. '' So. How cool is this?''
He smiled, knowing exactly what she was talking about. '' Back to the past. Very cool, Carter, very cool. 1969. Never thought I'd see it again.'' The Colonel glanced at her sharply. '' I guess... Daniel being four you'd be....?''
'' My date of birth is in my file, Colonel.''
He made a disgusted noise, waved a hand at her. '' I never read files, Carter, you know that. They're too closely related to 'reports'.''
She rolled her eyes. '' At this very moment I am about seven and a half months old.''
'' Holy Shit!''
Sam giggled furiously, tucking her head into her arm as her CO swore fruitfully.
'' And I thought four was bad! You're not even a year old!''
'' I'm sorry, sir, if that upsets you.''
'' *Upsets* me? I'm travelling the universe with children!'' He threw up his hands.
Daniel groaned and rolled onto his back, obviously woken by the Colonel's outrage. '' Jack, you know full well that Teal'c is old enough to be your grandfather.''
'' Great-grandfather, O'Neill,'' Teal'c added, joining in the conversation.
'' See, Jack? Does that make you feel better?''
'' Sarcasm, Daniel, is the lowest form of wit,'' the Colonel said through his teeth. He directed a glare at Sam. '' Couldn't you have lied or something?''
'' Lie, Colonel? To you?'' she said sweetly.
'' Ah, crap, I'd forgotten you were the honest type. God. What I wouldn't give for a little deception right now.''
*
The next morning, Sam awoke, the words of her Colonel ringing in her ears. Somehow, she couldn't quite believe he'd feel the same way now.