Disclaimer: see first chapter
The next year, Harry gets locked in his bedroom, and gets rescued by a "flying car," despite the fact that he swears he's never taken drugs. Inside are his friends the Weasleys, and they take Harry back to their already overly cramped house. By using some sort of miracle drug, the Weasleys end up on Diagon Ally. Harry ends upon another street, one filled with dark magic. After being rescued by a giant who has a beard but not a face, Hagrid, Harry meets up with the Weasleys.
They are in a bookshop where a conceited author who supposedly is very good- looking, Gilderoy Lockhart, is giving a speech. Mrs. Weasley, conveniently forgetting that she's married, shoves others aside to get the chance to gaze into Lockhart's eyes. Then Harry poses for the newspaper with Lockhart, gets a bunch of free books and leaves. During the year, Lockhart, who supposedly has a TON of experience, teaches Defense Against the Dark Arts very incompetently.
Harry finds a blank diary in the middle of the year, and decides to write in it. The diary writes back that it is Tom Mardalo Frildy, and Harry can call him Mardy for short. They chat, Harry telling him all of his secrets, and Mardy saying what Hogwarts was like way back when.
After several students get petrified and Harry gets blamed (they forgot that he was a hero), Harry decides that he must find the REAL evildoer. Hermione, though she is petrified, manages to help them anyway. They pry a note from her hands that tells them that the villain is a basilisk.
Harry once again has to face MoldyFart, when Mardy announces that his name, when rearranged, spells "I am Lord MoldyFart." "Don't you have anything better to do with your time than to make up stupid anagrams??" Harry asked. "You have better things to worry about than what I do with my time," snarled MoldyFart. "You have to worry about your LIFE!" While he cackled insanely, his giant basilisk bit Harry. Right before Harry died, a phoenix flew in and healed him, then gave him a hat from which Harry pulled out a sword. He killed the basilisk, then stabbed the diary until Mardy was completely dead. "Well," said Harry, holding out his hand to the phoenix for high five, then lowering it when he remembered that phoenixes don't have hands, "we make a pretty good team." "WE?" wondered the phoenix, "I could have taken the damn snake!! He should be on his knees thanking me, instead of saying that he did most of the work!" The phoenix then flew Harry and Ron back to the regular building, cursing all the way. Of course, Hermione thanked Harry profusely, and Gryffindor won the House Cup.
The next year, Harry gets locked in his bedroom, and gets rescued by a "flying car," despite the fact that he swears he's never taken drugs. Inside are his friends the Weasleys, and they take Harry back to their already overly cramped house. By using some sort of miracle drug, the Weasleys end up on Diagon Ally. Harry ends upon another street, one filled with dark magic. After being rescued by a giant who has a beard but not a face, Hagrid, Harry meets up with the Weasleys.
They are in a bookshop where a conceited author who supposedly is very good- looking, Gilderoy Lockhart, is giving a speech. Mrs. Weasley, conveniently forgetting that she's married, shoves others aside to get the chance to gaze into Lockhart's eyes. Then Harry poses for the newspaper with Lockhart, gets a bunch of free books and leaves. During the year, Lockhart, who supposedly has a TON of experience, teaches Defense Against the Dark Arts very incompetently.
Harry finds a blank diary in the middle of the year, and decides to write in it. The diary writes back that it is Tom Mardalo Frildy, and Harry can call him Mardy for short. They chat, Harry telling him all of his secrets, and Mardy saying what Hogwarts was like way back when.
After several students get petrified and Harry gets blamed (they forgot that he was a hero), Harry decides that he must find the REAL evildoer. Hermione, though she is petrified, manages to help them anyway. They pry a note from her hands that tells them that the villain is a basilisk.
Harry once again has to face MoldyFart, when Mardy announces that his name, when rearranged, spells "I am Lord MoldyFart." "Don't you have anything better to do with your time than to make up stupid anagrams??" Harry asked. "You have better things to worry about than what I do with my time," snarled MoldyFart. "You have to worry about your LIFE!" While he cackled insanely, his giant basilisk bit Harry. Right before Harry died, a phoenix flew in and healed him, then gave him a hat from which Harry pulled out a sword. He killed the basilisk, then stabbed the diary until Mardy was completely dead. "Well," said Harry, holding out his hand to the phoenix for high five, then lowering it when he remembered that phoenixes don't have hands, "we make a pretty good team." "WE?" wondered the phoenix, "I could have taken the damn snake!! He should be on his knees thanking me, instead of saying that he did most of the work!" The phoenix then flew Harry and Ron back to the regular building, cursing all the way. Of course, Hermione thanked Harry profusely, and Gryffindor won the House Cup.