H-h-hello *gulp* everybody. :D Well, now, that's a fine way to review a story, threatening the author's life, limb, and lame bodyguard. ;) Okay, so I guess I shouldn't mind by now. I mean, it's not NEWS or anything. :P But anyway…
Hey everyone, guess what! Today's my BIRTHDAY!!! Heheheheheheheh…:D I bet you don't even know how old I am now. Well, okay, some of you do. If you wouldn't mind, try venturing a guess, if you don't know. If you do, I'd appreciate it if you'd make it SOUND like a guess, even if it's knowledge. (or, of course, you could always say; "I know how old you are…" and grin at everyone who doesn't. :P) We don't want anyone getting the answer ahead of time. ;)
Don't worry about insulting me with your guesses. I've done this before, and have gotten guesses all the way from 10 to 80. No, really (though I think the 80 was an exaggeration ;)
Anyway, guesses as to my age would appreciated and enjoyed. :)
OKAY! Onto responses…
*shivers* eh- careful, Nilad. I'd prefer Cheysuli to live to see the ending, if that's okay…uh…do you know ANYthing about brain-surgery? It's just I thought pliers weren't technically medical…;)
Mae govonnen, legolyn fay!! I'm so glad you're enjoying it! If you want, I can send the chapters to you when I post them, if you need to have them e-mailed. :)
*giggles* you're determined to make me laugh, Myfanwy! :) Sorry 'bout your- eh -button. ;) Now now be nice to Grimi. 'sides, what makes you think you NEED to make the angst stop? I mean, c'mon. ;) And would *I* laugh at *YOU*? :P Yeah, you bet. ;) Hm, you COULD try poisoning Grimi, if you think it would improve your mood and self-esteem at all. But frankly, I think he's immune to pretty much EVERYthing. Comes from being a dwarf who puts everything his hand can reach in his mouth. :P
*squints and watches Trinity Jasmine Elessar learn to- eh -fly* OH ouch. ;) Mae gonvonnen! I'm glad you're enjoying it, THE…for lack of a better nick-name. What exactly do your friends call you? I knida have this obsession with knowing everyone's REAL nick-name, but you don't have to say. ;)
No worries, Karri! It's my own fault if you can't think of anything to say about the post. I WROTE the post! ;) Glad you make an attempt at any rate. :D
*stares* What, Callie? Did you say I've got a- I've up what? What ABOUT my story? Huh? OH you want me to update my story. Oh, whatever for? :P Well, I can't very well post any EARLIER it's against my tradition. ;)
'ek' indeed, Lirenel! And what a fitting adj. ;) or I guess onomopnopia. :D Hantach!
ACK! Don't DIE, Shauna! We're already there with SilvenLegolas. ;) Calm down, it'll be al- right. MAN, I think she's dead. Hm. *whispers into Shauna's ear* I'm posting *Shauna sits bolt-upright* :D ;)
Yeah, 'uh-oh' about covers it, Witchmaster. ;) And I tend to stick with over-done. :P
Ithildin, have you considered letting Haldir go? *Ithildin pushes Haldir into the chair again, and slaps hand-cuffs on him* Oh never mind. ;) And no, I don't hurt my muses. I AM my own muse, and let this be proof that being your own muse is an INSANE idea. ;)
Why are you so intent on them going to Rivendell, Ice Cube? Are you an elven twins fan or something? Oh you just don't want Estel to die. Well, you never know… ;) And no, I can't post quicker- well, okay, I COULD. But where's the fun in that? :P
*grins* no worries, Halo! I've already told you that I can't kill Estel unless this is an AU!…of course, I never said this wasn't an AU. Hm. ;) And would *I* go Cassia and Sio on you?! :D Don't answer that…
Hm, hyper-shark, I don't think Legolas would be mean enough to do that to Aragorn. Least I hope not! ;) Glad you enjoyed it! Hantach rene' na rane'!
Oh I know, Phantom Ranger Fay, isn't ff.net just the messiest of sites at times? Ah well. Mornaeg and Minaeg, ah yes. I figured someone would make that connection eventually. Whether or not it's vital to the plot or simply another example of like-names (Elladan & Elrohir, Feili & Keili, Balen & Dwalen, Mornaeg and Minaeg etc.) I will leave up to you to ponder over. ;) And thanks for the Happy Birthday! Nope, not belated at all. Just on time! :D Ooh a Lilo &Stitch fan? Tell me, Stitch: ADORIBLE or SILLY-LOOKING? My sister and I can't agree on that. ;) Namarie Nani! :P
Don't worry, Kaeera, you're not supposed to completely understand what's going on right now. ;) CD? COOL! That's really neat. We have some friends that are putting a Contemporary Christian group together called "Testimony". They've gone and sent a demo-tape to a friend at Sparrow Records. *shivers* it's really exciting! :) And don't worry, I wouldn't hurt Estel!…TOO much. :P
Now, I'm very proud of my cliffyness, Kayleigh-talitha. Even though so many find it quite annoying. ;) As to your question, I can't answer it all the way, I'm afraid. I can say this; Thranduil's madness CAN'T be blamed on him alone. And yes, you will find out later EXACTLY what's going on. ;) Hope it helps!
Hantach, Rosie! You're probably one of the few that didn't pounce on Mornaeg and dubbed him 'evil' three minutes after he was introduced. ;) Good for you! :D Glad you liked the dream. I LOVE writing dreams. :)
ACK! Whatever you do, Grimi, stay between me and Golden Days!! Golly goshly gooly GRIMI! Stay there. No- don't- MOVE! She's gonna KILL me that's WHY! :P
Gofoonofess Sofarofah! Hofow ofam ofi sofupofosed tofo rofespofoned tofo yofou whofen yofou ofare sofo clofevofer?! *sigh* okay, okay, I'll give it shot. ;) WOW, you were right about Moaning Mornaeg! You're the ONLY person who guessed it was him, and you did it on accident. Aren't you- eh -proud. :P I'm so glad you liked the dream! I like writing them, as I've already told you, and this one particularly fun, because I didn't have to figure out the lines! ;) Thank you PJ! But really, I don't think it deserves two whole Kudos. Maybe more like a halfa Kudo. Ku or something. :P Now, look what you've done! I'm using the word KUDOS like I constantly slip into using GOOD. -- which is an insincere adj meaning nice, brilliant, lovely, enjoyable, or any number of much BETTER adj. -- And now I'm turning into a Snicket! ECK! -- which is an onomonopia meaning 'and you say I rub off on YOU' -- and you say I rub off on YOU! HA! Look what you're doing to ME. Ah well. Which is a phrase almost as frequent as *giggles*, lol, and chigida-shifty-choogida-boogido. :P
ACK! SilvenLegolas has gone and DIED again. *sigh* C'mon, SL! Or whatever your friends call you. ;) WAKE UP! And maybe, just maybe, I'll tell you- that you'll find out who the badguy is eventually. :P
Hm, good theory, kyra aku riddle, but you must consider one thing; Aragorn would likely have recognized Thranduil. But it's still possible, I suppose. Keep on reading, and thinking!
*grin* Sound advice, Aralondwen ! ;)
Ooh sorry Lynn! I hope you're feeling better. :( And no, I'm not TRYING to give you a heart attack. It just comes naturally. ;)
*laughs* sorry, I'm making your family think you're crazy, Angel of the Elves! ;) What kind of a person am I…hya, right, that is ONE complex question, Jenny! (nice job on the holdthebutton, by the by ;)
Mae govonnen, Sam! It's nice to see you're enjoying my stories! It's not a stupid question, no worries. ;) I know his name isn't Haragorn, but in FOTR, when Frodo's holding the Ring, and it's calling Aragorn's name, it sounds more like "haaaragorn" than "aaaaragorn" you know? So yeah, you were right. It's just dramatic affect. ;)
Sorryaboutyourkeyboard, Kellen! Glad you made a valiant attempt to post anyway. :) Good luck with a new keyboard! ;)
*blinks* Actually, Siti, I don't think you leaving will hurt as much as you think. *nods* Yes, I don't need an extra reviewer. You can go…but, well you don't HAVE to. And, I guess you might want to stay for the ending. And really, it's kinda handy having you- but I don't care if you- if you'd just- but really it doesn't- PLEASE DON'T GO SITI!!! WE LOVE YOU! Don't we Grimi? We LIKE Siti. Siti's our FRIEND! Don't you DARE start quoting Gollum at me, Grimi. ;) Now, really, I wouldn't kill off Aragorn, right? Don't look at me like that. ;)
Mae govonnen, Stephanie! :) I'm sorry you had a hard time getting your review through, but I'm glad you tried that hard to review anyway! Hantach! Sorry about the cliffies, I'm rather notorious for 'um! ;) And yes, the general consensus is either Thranduil or Mornaeg, you're right. Of course it may be ANYone…ooohoo! ;)
Well, thanks for hanging in there for me, you guys!
And now, onto the post!
Chapter 11
"Your Fear, Legolas"
Aragorn tried hard not to breathe. Slowly, he moved back, away from the dagger enough to say, "What do you want of me?"
"Nothing that you cannot give with little pain."
"Then you have not returned to kill me?"
"No. I never *meant* to kill you. If I had wanted to kill you, that dagger would have made a plunge for your heart rather than your shoulder. Believe me, human, everything is still going according to plan."
"I would be happy for you, if perhaps your dagger was not at my throat. But anyway, you have not answered my question. What do you want?"
"Well," The taunting voice continued. "you did not answer my question either. Did you miss me, or did you not?"
"No." Aragorn responded flatly. "I cannot say in truth that I did."
"My, my." The elf clucked his disapproval. "You have grown much braver since our last encounter. As I recall, last we met, you were screaming in pain, and begging for mercy. Were you not?"
Aragorn glared over his shoulder, though he could not see the elf. Biting back his anger, he gritted out, "I ask again, what do you want?"
"Information." At this, the stranger finally moved around the bed so Aragorn could see him, carefully keeping his dagger at the human's throat. "About Bengwiil."
Aragorn couldn't see the figure's face, due to the black hood he wore, but he though he regonized the voice. If only he could keep him talking, maybe he could make a match with the voice…"I don't *know* anything about Bengwiil. All I know is that it has healed me. I know it has saved my life, but Legolas does not believe so. That is *all* I know."
"You have seen no visions? You have had no dreams? You have felt no unexplainable worries or fears?"
Aragorn grew silent. He had in fact, over the last few days, been feeling each of these. "I- I cannot say."
'Which is as good as yes, human. What had it felt like? What have you seen? What have you felt?"
"Well, if I *have* felt something, I am not exactly planning on sharing it all with you, am I?!" Aragorn felt suddenly angered by this stranger. He had touched a nerve that hadn't been hit yet. Realized something that Aragorn hoped no one would realize.
"What do you fear, human?" The voice became smooth as silk, dark as midnight, and yet so incredibly sincere. "What do you fear?"
Aragorn sat a long moment, staring blankly into the elf's dark green eyes. What *did* he fear? But he knew. He knew. "Nothing."
"Liar!" The dagger shot forward, just barley missing Aragorn's throat, and biting into the bed's headboard instead. "What do you fear?!' He demanded again, his face now just inches away from Aragorn's.
"I- I don't know."
"You lie! What do you fear, human? What do you see, dream, feel, hate, love, long for, dread? What, fier er? Tell me everything. Everything!" //mortal one?//
"No!" Aragorn backed away from the crazed elf, until he was nearly off the other end of the bed. "No, I shall tell you nothing!"
The stranger was quivering with rage, and began to crawl across the bed slowly. Aragorn's heart shook with fear. His eyes shot from the crazed elf's face to the dagger the evil being had wrenched from the headboard, and now held in his hand.
"Don't move." He said darkly, and Aragorn realized he couldn't out of fear. It reminded him so, so strongly of that night. The night he'd been attacked by this same, ruthless creature. The elf was practically on top of him before he backed away again.
*THUD!* It took a few moments for Aragorn to realize he'd fallen off the bed, and onto the wood floor. These few moments were enough for the elf, who leapt of the bed after the human, and landed catlike on the floor beside him. With one, quick thrust, he drove the dagger through the shoulder of Aragorn's shirt, striking the wood beneath it, and therefore pinning Aragorn to the floor.
The elf then unsheathed a second dagger, and pointed it at Aragorn's throat. "Tell me" He said darkly, breathing heavily. "everything."
"I- can't-" Aragorn gasped, trying a dry cough.
"What do you mean, *can't*?" The elf demanded, and though he tried to hide it, there was a note of unease in his words.
"I can't breathe- your dagger…" Aragorn broke off into a half-cough, constricted by the weapon pressed against his windpipe. The elf, reluctantly, pulled the dagger away a little. "I- I- the Bengwiil!" Aragorn cried. "I can't see! I can't breathe!" He broke off coughing and sputtering.
"Wh- what do you feel?" The elf seemed on the one hand, very interested, but Aragorn was surprised to hear concern in his voice.
"I- I can't breathe! H- help me up, please! I must stand, I can't breathe!"
The elf, surprisingly enough, complied, and pulled the dagger from Aragorn's sleeve. He heaved him to his feet, and sat him down on the bed. "What do you feel?" He asked again, looking Aragorn directly in the eye.
"I- feel hot. I feel- I feel dizzy. I see…see…"
"*what* do you see?!"
"Don't you see it? Can't you sense it? There. Just there. It is at the door. I can feel it." Aragorn's voice took a mysteriously terrified tone, as he stared wide-eyed at the closed oak door.
The stranger turned and looked at the door as well, his entire countenance on of complete confusion. It was enough. Dropping his whole act, Aragorn shoved his knees into the elf's chest, throwing the stranger hard onto the floor. Aragorn leapt up, and managed to snatch one of the daggers.
"Don't move." He threatened, pointing the dagger towards the elf's chest. "I plan to find out *just* who you are-"
The elf plainly didn't like that idea, and threw a well-planned kick at Aragorn's hand, causing him to drop the dagger. Unfortunately for the elf, Aragorn lunged forward at the same moment, causing the discarded dagger to spin off toward the elf rather than the floor.
The intruder gasped in pain as the blade sliced his upper arm. Angrily, he kicked Aragorn back from him, and grabbed the dagger, throwing it hard. With a *K-KANG!* it skittered across the wood floor, and under the bed. The elf was quick to his feet, in typical elven reflexes.
Seeing in an instant that he wouldn't stand a chance against an armed elf in such close quarters, Aragorn made a break for the door. He was at the door, and pushing it open, when he felt a hard *CRACK*. Spots danced in front of his eyes, and he didn't even realize he'd hit the floor, until he opened his eyes.
"Nice try." The voice above him sneered, though he could hear the elf was breathless. "I underestimated you, human. But I am afraid our pleasantries end here. I will learn all I need to in time. But you will never see me again. I promise you that. No, not I." He smiled cruelly, and Aragorn was suddenly jerked to his feet. "Namarie for the last time. Amarth layaa gwaur thlim, toi os-uuvagol osach."
//woe to your filthy race, if they are as foolish as you.//
Once again, he cracked Aragorn over the back of the head with his dagger hilt, but hard as he could this time. Aragorn was unconscious before he hit the wood floor, and all he could remember hearing was the loud *BANG* of the door, and a young elf's voice, "Who are you?! What have you- Legolas!"
**********
"No." He was closing his hand. He was walking away. He was turning from his father. He was taking his prize. All his. His own. But no. No, he *promised* not to follow this road! He would not take the Ring. He would *not*!
"Haaaaaaaaaaaarrraaaaagoooooorrnnnnn…" It *was* his. He didn't care anymore! He *deserved* this Ring. He was the heir of Isildur, and *deserved* his treasure. It called him. It calmed him. And it was his. His own. His love. Hi pr-
"Estel!"
"No! No!" Aragorn's eyes snapped open, and someone touched his forehead gently with a cool cloth. "No. No. Father, no. I am so sorry. I'm sorry ada. No, take it. Take it from me…"
"Aragorn?"
Aragorn ceased his breathless ranting, long enough to realize who was speaking to him. "Legolas."
"I am here. What is wrong, my friend? Why do you speak of such things? *what* do you speak of?"
"I- a dream."
"I can see that, what dream? What happened?"
"I was- I was Isildur. I held the One Ring. The Ring forged by Sauron himself. I was standing at the cracks of Mount Doom, and…and my father was there. H- he told me to throw the Ring into the fire. He ordered it destroyed. I wanted to, I wanted to desperately. But it called me. It spoke to me. It…was precious to me." Aragorn shook all over, and pushed himself into a sitting position.
"Careful." Legolas warned, helping his friend up. "You have a fair-sized bruise on your head."
Aragorn could feel *that* the moment he tried to push himself up. But pressing a hand against the back of his throbbing head, he continued as though Legolas had made no comment. "I hated it, Legolas. I hated that I clutched the One Ring and turned from my father. I *hated* myself!"
"Aragorn, shh…ea na gwiil, naer maur."
//be at peace, it was only a dream.//
"Iston. But I cannot help this feeling deep inside me. Somehow, I *did* have the Ring. I *was* holding it in my hand. You know, in a dream you cannot feel anything, but this I felt. I felt its evil, and loved and hated it. But now I love nothing about it. I loathe it. I can't stand *thinking* of it…"
Legolas shook his head. "No matter how real it seemed, it was merely a dream. A dream, Estel, remember that." Aragorn nodded, and smiled gratefully. It was just like something his father would say, down to the nick-name 'Estel'. But, on further thought, perhaps that had been the prince's intent.
"So." Legolas sighed, putting the cool rag aside, and looking closely at Aragorn. "Are you all right? What *happened*?"
"Oh!" Aragorn rolled his eyes at himself, not even realizing that Legolas had *no* clue what had happened. Like-as-not, he came into the room and found Aragorn flat on the floor with no explanation whatsoever! "Well, Legolas, we were wrong about the elf being long gone. He came back."
"Th- the one that tried to kill you?"
"Yes, except he told me he had never meant to kill me, and that everything was 'going according to plan'."
Legolas' face portrayed exactly what Aragorn had felt when he heard those words. Apprehension. "Mornaeg, I sent him to come up and check on you, said he came in and found a black-clad elf standing over you. He panicked and called for me, but by the time I had heard him and come running, despite what Mornaeg did to stop the elf, this intruder escaped out the window. Unfortunately, the elf managed to injure Mornaeg and knock him out as well, so we don't have a clear idea of what he looks like."
"I seem to vaguely remember Mornaeg entering before I was fully unconscious…" Aragorn mused. "But not as clearly as I remember my conversation with this intruder." Aragorn explained the entire exchange as best as he could remember it, leaving out a few of the elf's taunts here and there. Embarrassed by the impact they had made on him.
By the time he quoted the elf's last words to him, Legolas' eyes were slits, and his lips tight across his teeth. Aragorn knew this was a sure sign that his friend was nothing short of furious. Legolas stared hard at the bed a long time, trying to contain himself. Finally, he spoke.
"What business did he have, coming back, interrogating you, taunting you, attempting to hurt you again, knocking you out and disappearing? What kind of a point a is he trying to make?!"
"Haro dad, Legolas, na larhink."
//sit down, Legolas, and be still.//
Aragorn commanded softly, for the elf had risen to his feet in his anger. Legolas, though heated, slowly obeyed. "I just don't understand." He sighed, shaking his head slightly.
"Neither do I." Aragorn agreed, his voice still soft. "But it is not this mysterious elf that I worry about…"
Legolas watched his friend keenly, and it did not take long for him to realize what Aragorn meant. "It *was* only a dream, Estel. Worry not. Please. You drive yourself too hard, thinking of such problems. You need rest."
"No, Legolas. I must speak to you now, about this dream."
Legolas nodded. "If you wish. And *only* if you wish."
"I do." Aragorn took a deep breath, and stared hard at Legolas. "I have been having this dream long. Since the first evening after I was given Bengwiil. Every night it is clearer, longer, truer. Now, this night, I could see everything, feel everything. I knew everything. I knew that the Ring was evil, and I turned away anyway." Aragorn shook himself, and returned to the original point of this conversation. "Long have I wondered what has been causing these dreams. Then, when that elf came back, he said something that confused me, and yet suddenly made sense."
"What?" Was all Legolas could say.
"He kept asking if I felt anything, saw anything, dreamt anything. Then, he asked, 'What do you fear?' and I realized. From the beginning he'd been demanding information about Bengwiil, though I could give him none. So even now, he must have been looking for information on the plant. And I began to wonder, only vaguely at first, what my fear had to do with Bengwiil? And- and I think I understand now."
Legolas shook his head in bewilderment. "Understand what, Aragorn? For I do *not* understand."
"Your fear, Legolas. What do you fear?"
Legolas was silent a moment. His mind flew back through his long years, trying to seek out what his greatest fear was. Finally, he lighted on it. "Bengwiil."
"Why?" Aragorn's face was impassive, but Legolas could see his wheels turning rapidly. The human *knew* he was onto something.
"Because of what it did to me." Legolas said simply. "It took away beauty, joy, you, and nearly me, in death."
"Then what you are *truly* afraid of is losing all you love. That is why you dreamt of your father dieing, that is why all beauty disappeared from your sight, that is why you saw me striking you. Bengwiil is no supernatural plant, but merely poison. Poison that flows into your very mind, finds your greatest fear, and sends it crashing down on you."
Legolas was silent a long moment. "Oh." He breathed, leaning back on the bed a bit. "By the Valar, Aragorn, I never dreamt of such a thing. I never imagined-"
"Neither did I." Aragorn admitted. "As it is, I could very well be wrong, for none have told me but a little of Bengwiil. And that little is credited only to my father, who explained some basics after he saved you in Rivendell. In other words, my theory could be quite wrong."
"But if so, it is the most plausible misconception I have ever heard. It does not make sense only to my mind, but to my heart. Somehow, Aragorn, I think you are right. I think that that just may be what Bengwiil is." Legolas, for the first time ever, looked excited about something Bengwiil-related. "I see it now. If we could only better understand Bengwiil, perhaps we could keep others from using it further. Perhaps we could *prove* Bengwiil is all wrong, do you suppose?"
Aragorn shrugged. "I can't say I've had time to think of it that far."
"No, but it *does* make sense. For once, something having to do with Bengwiil makes sense! Aragorn, if I could learn more about Bengwiil, I could understand the infection I had with it. I could understand *your* infection with it. I could help you, and perhaps banish these horrid memories that still haunt me. If only I could *understand* Bengwiil, I would no longer fear it. I know I would not." Legolas paused a moment, and thought. Trying to start his comprehension of Bengwiil by understanding what he had even *said* just now.
After a long moment, he raised his eyes to Aragorn's. The human looked pleased that his friend had been so thrilled by the new information. But his eyes held an undercurrent of still-remaining pain.
"I am sorry, Aragorn, forgive me." Legolas sighed, and nearly smiled. "It has been long since I've found cause to be excited. But I think you still had something to say."
"I did." Aragorn smiled. "But do not apologize for your excitement. I must confess, I could not have hoped for a better reaction. I didn't know *what* you would feel, me bringing Bengwiil and its evils back to the surface and all. But- well, I suppose…I don't quite know how to proceed."
Legolas smiled penitently. "Have I slowed your pace? Forgive me, I've cut you off mid-stride."
"No, it's not you. I would have had to halt at this point anyway." Aragorn shook his head. "I- I think I understand what it is that is wrong with me. Why I feel nauseated constantly, for one."
Legolas squinted slightly. "Well, you've been hit over the head several times, that is likely part of it."
"But this kind of nausea has tormented me for a long time. Also, I believe I know why I keep collapsing, why I see you st- w-why I see things, and now even why I dream these dreams."
"Then please, tell me my friend, for long have I been desperate to know what is wrong." Legolas pretended not to notice Aragorn's hesitation half-way through. Questions as to what he'd *meant* to say could wait.
"You know how, when you were infected with Bengwiil, your worst fears came 'true'? Well, that is what is wrong with me as well."
Legolas shook his head. "And- what are you afraid of, Aragorn?"
Aragorn bit his lip, and looked into his lap. Legolas could see reluctance and shame written all over the young man's face. Finally, he lifted his eyes to the elf's again, and when he did, there was fear in them, but also a look of resolution. A determination to be strong. "Me."
Would you believe I'm not scared? Nope, not me, not one bit. Ya wanna know why? Cause I've got an alibi! See, you may be angry, you may be annoyed, you may be frustrated, because of all this suspense, and torture, and angst, and cliffies and all…but you're not SO mad that you'll kill me on my
BIRTHDAY!
Right? Am I right? I'm right, I know I am. Of course tomorrow's not my birthday, but HEY! At least I'll live today right?
…but- eh -even so…*leaps behind Grimi* just in case…