Disclaimer: All publicly recognisable characters and places are the
property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. I'm just
borrowing.
A/N: I think I'm trying to break the record of writing as many stories I can at ones.
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Chapter 1: Live fore me
The first sun is starting to rise from behind the green valley, casting its first rays of light into the paling blue sky. Soon the last remaining stars will disappear and the second sun will dawn but Colonel Samantha Carter knows her team won't see it happening as they will be back into the familiar catacombs of Cheyenne Mountain.
Behind her she could hear footsteps approaching. His steps have grown more confident after the years that they had been working at the SGC. "We're ready to head out, Sam." Daniels gentle voice tells her and she knows he is standing a couple of meters behind her, waiting for her reply.
"I'll be there in a minute." She answers, not looking away from the valley. She knows he is still there, his feet shuffling into the gravel. "No matter how beautiful other worlds are, they just aren't like earth." Sam tells him, not sure why she is thinking this.
She doesn't need to turn around to know that Daniel is nodding in agreement. "No, they aren't. It might look like an ordinary forest but somehow..."
"It feels different." She finishes his sentence. It did, in so many ways but not only is it different from earth. Everything was different, even the unfamiliar. She is a Colonel now, SG-1 was her team and while she would have been proud about this when she first started to work at the SGC, she couldn't be now. The price had been too high, she thought bitterly. Angry at herself for letting her thoughts trail off like that she glares at the landscape before her. "I hate trees." She spits out and a pang goes through her as she remembers the person who taught her that you can actually dislike them.
"You're sounding l..." Daniel starts but she cuts him off mid-sentence.
"He was right. Trees can be great for cover but they also hide a lot from you." Sam sighs as she knows Daniel isn't responsible for her bad mood and she shouldn't be working it out on him. "I'm sorry, Daniel. I just..." She doesn't know what she wants to say or maybe she does but she just denies the feeling inside her. Something else she learned from him.
"It's alright, Sam." He assures her, like he always does. She can hear him move closer and suddenly his hand is on her shoulder. Sam stiffens momentarily under the touch, sometimes she just forgot how it is like to feel someone touch you without the goal of hitting you. "We all miss him." Daniel adds after a short silence and right away the muscles tighten again.
"I wasn't talking about him." She growls as she turns her head sharply so she can look into his eyes.
"Sam, it's been a year and seven months..." Daniel starts as he doesn't believe her for a second. He knows Jack O'Neill is still on her mind, more than she cares to admit.
"Two weeks and three days." Sam finishes his sentence and stands up, looking down at Daniel who remains kneeled down.
He looks up at her, sympathy in his eyes but she doesn't want it, doesn't need it. After he was gone everyone looked at her like that. As if somehow her lose was bigger than anyone else's. Janet had tried talking to her about it. 'You need to let it out, Sam. You can't keep all these feelings locked up inside you. Eventually it will destroy you. Jack wouldn't have want this. He would want you to move on, to be happy.' What did *they* know about what he wanted? Still, her heart told her that there was truth in the words. She just couldn't allow herself to believe it. If she dealt with the pain, allowed herself to move on she would have to face the fact that he wasn't going to come back. Her breath gets caught in her throat as realisation dawns in her because she knows he won't be coming back. She had seen what happened to him right in front of her eyes and there wasn't a damn thing she could have done to prevented it.
***
"Let her go." Jack O'Neill demands, his arm outstretched as he points his Zat-gun towards the Goa'uld standing before Sam.
Sams eyes move towards her CO and a wave of relief washes through her body as she sees him standing there. She hadn't seen him since she and Daniel had been captured. All her hope of escaping had been set on Jack and now he is here. His words ripping her away from the fate that the Goa'uld has in mind for her. The ribbon device aimed at her head is still dark and she prays it will remain that way.
"None of you will leave here alive." The arrogant reply comes and to Sams horror the ribbon device glows. Her eyes widen as a sharp pain drives into her head, splitting her skill. Everything before her eyes turns white, a searing hot white that casts a veil over everything that is happening around her. Muffled sounds break through it, a cry of someone in agony and the vibration in her throat tells her it is her own voice she can hear. The pain spreads through her whole body and then suddenly another sound. The white light colours slightly blue and then it is gone. Around the corners of her vision everything turns black and her body slumps forward, colliding with the hard cold floor.
"Sam!" Someone shouts her name. The word unfamiliar, not going together with the voice that is filled with panic. Sam puts her hands on the cold surface and tries to push up but her muscles protest and she slumps down again. His footsteps as urgent as his cry come towards her and his strong hands are on her shoulders, pulling her up on her feet. "Sam, can you stand?" He asks, worry sounding through his voice and the blackness around her eyes disappears slowly so she can look into his dark brown questioning eyes.
"I think so." Sam answers weakly but determined as she tries to stand on her own. Her knees protest and give way under her and she knows she would have fallen back on the ground if it weren't for Jack supporting arm around her waist.
"O'Neill, we have to go. I can hear Jaffa coming." Teal'cs urgent call reminds Sam of where she is. As she looks up she can see him supporting a weakened Daniel who apparently Jack and Teal'c had freed before finding her.
She can feel Jack nodding. "Lets get out of here." He says and still supporting her they all leave the room as they head back to the stargate.
Sam tries to recognise where they are heading but the corridors seem to be making a labyrinth and she soon gives up, trusting her CO to get them all back home. Only once do they stumble across two Jaffa but they easily take care of them. The heavy footsteps and the clicking of armour behind them tells them they will not go by unnoticed for long though. Finally they enter the large room where the stargate is.
"Teal'c, dial us home." Jack cries as he nervously tries to sabotage the door without letting go of Sam.
"I can stand on my own." Sam says and slips out of Jacks arms. He looks at her obviously doubting that she can. A quick nod tells her he is convinced she can and he turns his attention completely towards the door and the Jaffa on the other side that are trying to get in.
Behind her she can hear the ring starting to turn and the chevrons locking. This is it, there is a loud whoosh and a blue light fills the room.
"Ok, kids. Lets go." Jack cries as he walks towards the stargate, his back turned towards it and his gun aimed at the doors. There is a loud explosion and soon the room will be filling with Jaffa. But they were going to make it Sam thinks in triumph as she can see Teal'c walking into the shimmering pool and taking Daniel with him.
"Carter, what yah waiting for?" Jack turns half towards her and smiles.
"Nothing, sir." Sam returns the smile and turns, running up to the blue pool. Jack is following close behind her and she is about to step through the gate as she suddenly can hear Jaffa entering the room. Jack starts firing his gun at them and then fear strikes her as a blue light followed by an agonising moan draws her attention.
Sam turns around just in time to see Jack falling down. She quickly gets to him and wants to drag him to his feet but he shakes his head. "Go, Sam! Damnit, just go!" He cries at her, his eyes locking with hers and she can see fear in them. Jack O'Neill was never afraid.
"I'm not leaving you." She says determined and tries to pull him up but his weight is too heavy for her.
"GO! That's an order, Major." He shouts again as he tries to scramble up but falls back again. She shakes her head stubbornly but his eyes look at her pleading. "I need you to live." He says softer and pushes something in her hand. "For me." His fingers close her fist around the cold metal and he pushes her hand against her chest. "Go." He repeats again and Sam stands up, turns around and runs through the stargate, the sound of a zatgun being fired for the second time filling her ears.
The SGC is eerily quiet when her feet make contact with the metal ramp even if the alert is going off. "Close the iris!" She shouts urgently and she can see the doubt in General Hammonds eyes as he looks for his 2IC. "He isn't coming. Close the iris." She repeats and her face feels wet as she clutches the metal in her hand. The voices around her seem far away as she looks down at her fist and opens it. In her hand lies Colonel Jack O'Neills dogtag, ripped from his neck.
***
"I need you to live... for me." Sam can hear his voice still as he softly pleaded for her to escape and let him be. Maybe she could have done something. She could have stayed with him but she had done as he asked. She had left and lived, she had fought the battle he wanted her to continue but without him it meant so much less. When she had proposed to go back and retrieve Jacks body Teal'c had replied that it was useless. Before they came to rescue her and Daniel they had placed explosives all over the goa'uld mothership. It seemed the timer had gone off like they had planned because when they did try to open a wormhole the gate didn't respond which could only mean that there wasn't a stargate left. It left the whole of the SGC with a feeling of defeat. No one was left behind, it was a golden rule Jack held on to himself but she had failed him. Sam hadn't even been able to get his body back for a decent funeral and they couldn't even send flowers back as there wasn't any gate left to send it through. So instead they held a wake at his house. The whole SGC was there and Sam even spend some time talking to Sara. It was supposed to be a closure but she couldn't bring herself to it. Especially not when it appeared Jack had a will and he had left her everything. Not to his ex-wife, not to Daniel but her, his 2IC who had failed to bring him back home. Sara had asked if she would sell the house or live in it herself but she couldn't do either one. It was Jacks house and she loved it but the memories were too painful for her to go live in it and she couldn't bring it over her heart to sell it for the same reasons. So now the house stood empty, everything untouched, exactly as it was when he left. When days got tough she went there, just for a moment to allow herself the illusion that he was going to walk into the door any minute but he never did.
"Sam?" Daniel pulls her out of her thoughts and she realises that he has been talking to her all the time. His eyes are filled with worry but she just shakes her head.
"Come on, lets head home." She turns on her heels and walks back to the campsite where Teal'c and Captain Moore have already packed up everything.
"Ready to go?" Sam asks them.
Teal'c bows his head slightly. "We are."
Sam doesn't say anything more as she picks up her pack and secures it. Soon everyone including Daniel is ready and they walk back to the stargate in silence, Sam is up front just like he normally would be. Every few minutes she turns around to see if her team is still with her. She hadn't just inherited his house, she suddenly realises. He also left behind the responsibilities he used to carry on his shoulders. Making decisions day in day out that could easily changes the lives of everyone under her command. It's only now that she fully understands why he sometimes was reluctant while she and Daniel would be jumping with joy at a new discovery.
"I need you to live... for me." She was, she was living the life he left behind. Stepping in his footsteps in more than one way.
Sighing she turns back around and continues walking. Under her shirt she feels the cool metal of her dogtags hitting her naked skin. Not the standard two plaques but three.
TO BE CONTINUED (that is if you would like to know where this is going so please let me know)
A/N: I think I'm trying to break the record of writing as many stories I can at ones.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 1: Live fore me
The first sun is starting to rise from behind the green valley, casting its first rays of light into the paling blue sky. Soon the last remaining stars will disappear and the second sun will dawn but Colonel Samantha Carter knows her team won't see it happening as they will be back into the familiar catacombs of Cheyenne Mountain.
Behind her she could hear footsteps approaching. His steps have grown more confident after the years that they had been working at the SGC. "We're ready to head out, Sam." Daniels gentle voice tells her and she knows he is standing a couple of meters behind her, waiting for her reply.
"I'll be there in a minute." She answers, not looking away from the valley. She knows he is still there, his feet shuffling into the gravel. "No matter how beautiful other worlds are, they just aren't like earth." Sam tells him, not sure why she is thinking this.
She doesn't need to turn around to know that Daniel is nodding in agreement. "No, they aren't. It might look like an ordinary forest but somehow..."
"It feels different." She finishes his sentence. It did, in so many ways but not only is it different from earth. Everything was different, even the unfamiliar. She is a Colonel now, SG-1 was her team and while she would have been proud about this when she first started to work at the SGC, she couldn't be now. The price had been too high, she thought bitterly. Angry at herself for letting her thoughts trail off like that she glares at the landscape before her. "I hate trees." She spits out and a pang goes through her as she remembers the person who taught her that you can actually dislike them.
"You're sounding l..." Daniel starts but she cuts him off mid-sentence.
"He was right. Trees can be great for cover but they also hide a lot from you." Sam sighs as she knows Daniel isn't responsible for her bad mood and she shouldn't be working it out on him. "I'm sorry, Daniel. I just..." She doesn't know what she wants to say or maybe she does but she just denies the feeling inside her. Something else she learned from him.
"It's alright, Sam." He assures her, like he always does. She can hear him move closer and suddenly his hand is on her shoulder. Sam stiffens momentarily under the touch, sometimes she just forgot how it is like to feel someone touch you without the goal of hitting you. "We all miss him." Daniel adds after a short silence and right away the muscles tighten again.
"I wasn't talking about him." She growls as she turns her head sharply so she can look into his eyes.
"Sam, it's been a year and seven months..." Daniel starts as he doesn't believe her for a second. He knows Jack O'Neill is still on her mind, more than she cares to admit.
"Two weeks and three days." Sam finishes his sentence and stands up, looking down at Daniel who remains kneeled down.
He looks up at her, sympathy in his eyes but she doesn't want it, doesn't need it. After he was gone everyone looked at her like that. As if somehow her lose was bigger than anyone else's. Janet had tried talking to her about it. 'You need to let it out, Sam. You can't keep all these feelings locked up inside you. Eventually it will destroy you. Jack wouldn't have want this. He would want you to move on, to be happy.' What did *they* know about what he wanted? Still, her heart told her that there was truth in the words. She just couldn't allow herself to believe it. If she dealt with the pain, allowed herself to move on she would have to face the fact that he wasn't going to come back. Her breath gets caught in her throat as realisation dawns in her because she knows he won't be coming back. She had seen what happened to him right in front of her eyes and there wasn't a damn thing she could have done to prevented it.
***
"Let her go." Jack O'Neill demands, his arm outstretched as he points his Zat-gun towards the Goa'uld standing before Sam.
Sams eyes move towards her CO and a wave of relief washes through her body as she sees him standing there. She hadn't seen him since she and Daniel had been captured. All her hope of escaping had been set on Jack and now he is here. His words ripping her away from the fate that the Goa'uld has in mind for her. The ribbon device aimed at her head is still dark and she prays it will remain that way.
"None of you will leave here alive." The arrogant reply comes and to Sams horror the ribbon device glows. Her eyes widen as a sharp pain drives into her head, splitting her skill. Everything before her eyes turns white, a searing hot white that casts a veil over everything that is happening around her. Muffled sounds break through it, a cry of someone in agony and the vibration in her throat tells her it is her own voice she can hear. The pain spreads through her whole body and then suddenly another sound. The white light colours slightly blue and then it is gone. Around the corners of her vision everything turns black and her body slumps forward, colliding with the hard cold floor.
"Sam!" Someone shouts her name. The word unfamiliar, not going together with the voice that is filled with panic. Sam puts her hands on the cold surface and tries to push up but her muscles protest and she slumps down again. His footsteps as urgent as his cry come towards her and his strong hands are on her shoulders, pulling her up on her feet. "Sam, can you stand?" He asks, worry sounding through his voice and the blackness around her eyes disappears slowly so she can look into his dark brown questioning eyes.
"I think so." Sam answers weakly but determined as she tries to stand on her own. Her knees protest and give way under her and she knows she would have fallen back on the ground if it weren't for Jack supporting arm around her waist.
"O'Neill, we have to go. I can hear Jaffa coming." Teal'cs urgent call reminds Sam of where she is. As she looks up she can see him supporting a weakened Daniel who apparently Jack and Teal'c had freed before finding her.
She can feel Jack nodding. "Lets get out of here." He says and still supporting her they all leave the room as they head back to the stargate.
Sam tries to recognise where they are heading but the corridors seem to be making a labyrinth and she soon gives up, trusting her CO to get them all back home. Only once do they stumble across two Jaffa but they easily take care of them. The heavy footsteps and the clicking of armour behind them tells them they will not go by unnoticed for long though. Finally they enter the large room where the stargate is.
"Teal'c, dial us home." Jack cries as he nervously tries to sabotage the door without letting go of Sam.
"I can stand on my own." Sam says and slips out of Jacks arms. He looks at her obviously doubting that she can. A quick nod tells her he is convinced she can and he turns his attention completely towards the door and the Jaffa on the other side that are trying to get in.
Behind her she can hear the ring starting to turn and the chevrons locking. This is it, there is a loud whoosh and a blue light fills the room.
"Ok, kids. Lets go." Jack cries as he walks towards the stargate, his back turned towards it and his gun aimed at the doors. There is a loud explosion and soon the room will be filling with Jaffa. But they were going to make it Sam thinks in triumph as she can see Teal'c walking into the shimmering pool and taking Daniel with him.
"Carter, what yah waiting for?" Jack turns half towards her and smiles.
"Nothing, sir." Sam returns the smile and turns, running up to the blue pool. Jack is following close behind her and she is about to step through the gate as she suddenly can hear Jaffa entering the room. Jack starts firing his gun at them and then fear strikes her as a blue light followed by an agonising moan draws her attention.
Sam turns around just in time to see Jack falling down. She quickly gets to him and wants to drag him to his feet but he shakes his head. "Go, Sam! Damnit, just go!" He cries at her, his eyes locking with hers and she can see fear in them. Jack O'Neill was never afraid.
"I'm not leaving you." She says determined and tries to pull him up but his weight is too heavy for her.
"GO! That's an order, Major." He shouts again as he tries to scramble up but falls back again. She shakes her head stubbornly but his eyes look at her pleading. "I need you to live." He says softer and pushes something in her hand. "For me." His fingers close her fist around the cold metal and he pushes her hand against her chest. "Go." He repeats again and Sam stands up, turns around and runs through the stargate, the sound of a zatgun being fired for the second time filling her ears.
The SGC is eerily quiet when her feet make contact with the metal ramp even if the alert is going off. "Close the iris!" She shouts urgently and she can see the doubt in General Hammonds eyes as he looks for his 2IC. "He isn't coming. Close the iris." She repeats and her face feels wet as she clutches the metal in her hand. The voices around her seem far away as she looks down at her fist and opens it. In her hand lies Colonel Jack O'Neills dogtag, ripped from his neck.
***
"I need you to live... for me." Sam can hear his voice still as he softly pleaded for her to escape and let him be. Maybe she could have done something. She could have stayed with him but she had done as he asked. She had left and lived, she had fought the battle he wanted her to continue but without him it meant so much less. When she had proposed to go back and retrieve Jacks body Teal'c had replied that it was useless. Before they came to rescue her and Daniel they had placed explosives all over the goa'uld mothership. It seemed the timer had gone off like they had planned because when they did try to open a wormhole the gate didn't respond which could only mean that there wasn't a stargate left. It left the whole of the SGC with a feeling of defeat. No one was left behind, it was a golden rule Jack held on to himself but she had failed him. Sam hadn't even been able to get his body back for a decent funeral and they couldn't even send flowers back as there wasn't any gate left to send it through. So instead they held a wake at his house. The whole SGC was there and Sam even spend some time talking to Sara. It was supposed to be a closure but she couldn't bring herself to it. Especially not when it appeared Jack had a will and he had left her everything. Not to his ex-wife, not to Daniel but her, his 2IC who had failed to bring him back home. Sara had asked if she would sell the house or live in it herself but she couldn't do either one. It was Jacks house and she loved it but the memories were too painful for her to go live in it and she couldn't bring it over her heart to sell it for the same reasons. So now the house stood empty, everything untouched, exactly as it was when he left. When days got tough she went there, just for a moment to allow herself the illusion that he was going to walk into the door any minute but he never did.
"Sam?" Daniel pulls her out of her thoughts and she realises that he has been talking to her all the time. His eyes are filled with worry but she just shakes her head.
"Come on, lets head home." She turns on her heels and walks back to the campsite where Teal'c and Captain Moore have already packed up everything.
"Ready to go?" Sam asks them.
Teal'c bows his head slightly. "We are."
Sam doesn't say anything more as she picks up her pack and secures it. Soon everyone including Daniel is ready and they walk back to the stargate in silence, Sam is up front just like he normally would be. Every few minutes she turns around to see if her team is still with her. She hadn't just inherited his house, she suddenly realises. He also left behind the responsibilities he used to carry on his shoulders. Making decisions day in day out that could easily changes the lives of everyone under her command. It's only now that she fully understands why he sometimes was reluctant while she and Daniel would be jumping with joy at a new discovery.
"I need you to live... for me." She was, she was living the life he left behind. Stepping in his footsteps in more than one way.
Sighing she turns back around and continues walking. Under her shirt she feels the cool metal of her dogtags hitting her naked skin. Not the standard two plaques but three.
TO BE CONTINUED (that is if you would like to know where this is going so please let me know)