Chapter 5: Questions
by Jara
But my sorrows, they learned to swim
Surrounding me, going down on me
Spilling over the brim
(U2 - Until the End of the World)
It is strange how quickly SG-1 seems to forget that over the past year they had a replacement for Colonel Jack O'Neill. Now with the former back at the SGC it seems the most natural thing that when General Hammond says he wants a debriefing with Doctor Fraiser and SG-1 that it will not include Captain Moore.
Carter and Janet are the last to enter the briefing room and take their seats each at the other side of Hammond. Janet places a stack of files down in front of her and lets out a deep sigh. She and Sam were the last to leave the Colonel behind in the infirmary so he could get some more rest. The determined set of his jaw told Janet he would be trying all his best to not close an eye. She can't blame him.
"I think we all know why we are here." Hammond doesn't even try to bother with formalities, instead his eyes go toward the doctor and with a small nod he gives her permission to take the word.
Janet doesn't answer right away, her hand moves over the file and then she carefully opens it up as if the papers are the patient itself. She can feel the eyes resting on her, each of them wanting to know how their friend, fellow warrior, 2IC,... is doing. Taking in a deep breath Janet decides she better get this over and done with.
"I have run every test imaginable on Colonel O'Neill, as far as I can tell he really is our O'Neill. There is nothing that suggests that he has been tampered with although we can't always say that for sure." She starts, her eyes fixed on the file. "Although he hasn't talked yet about what happened to him, I believe it is safe to say that like he said to Colonel Carter he was held a prisoner by a goa'uld. There is scar tissue present all over his body and half of the bones of his body has been broken at least once during the period he was gone. I have also found evidence indicating that they used a ribbon device on him although this particular goa'uld seems to have a thing for torturing in a more crude way. I believe that many of his wounds might be inflicted by a knife." She pauses and stares down at her hands to notice she is browsing through the various notes she had taken about the Colonel's injures. "It is a miracle really that he isn't in a worse condition than he is. Most of the fractures have healed almost perfectly, I couldn't have done a better job myself. It's almost amazing that he is still alive. He had a wound on his chest that probably went pretty deep and could easily have killed him."
She takes a deep breath and looks up from the file to find Sam is staring down at the hands in her lap. Although Janet knows how this infects Sam, she seems to keep her emotions in check, only the angry frown betrays how much she would like to hurt whoever did this to the Colonel. The same kind of anger is easily to read in Doctor Jackson but most of all he seems to be worried about his friend. Even Teal'c doesn't seem impartial, the dark glitter in his eyes tells Janet that the Jaffa knows all too well what kind of things O'Neill will have gone through.
"Will he fully recover?" General Hammond asks, a father like concern in his voice.
"Physically, with the right kind of training he probably will... eventually. He still suffers from malnutrition, I have him on an IV to deal with the anaemia but his body has gone through a lot. It will take time and patience, lots of it, before he is back in condition again. It still is amazing though, after such a long time in a goa'uld prison I would expect him to be in a much worse state." Janet answers truthfully.
"O'Neill is a strong man." Teal'c says confident about his friends abilities.
"Ow, I know that. But even for Colonel O'Neill this is exceptional. It seems like someone tended to his wounds." It had been bugging her for a while now, how it could be possible for his fractures to have set so nicely. "For example that cut he had across his chest. If he wouldn't have died from the injury or the blood loss, he would have died from the infection without the proper cares and antibiotics."
"Maybe they used a healing device or a sarcophagus?" Daniel suggests.
Janet shakes her head. "No, both those would heal the wound completely, there wouldn't be any scare tissue. Besides, there is really nothing in his blood indicating that he used a sarcophagus."
"What are you saying? That they had a doctor who took care of him?" Sam finally looks up from her lap and meets the Doctor's eyes.
"The goa'uld do not use doctors. They have no need for them." Teal'c informs them right away.
"Maybe it was a fellow prisoner?" Daniel suggests.
Janet shrugs. "Could be, but honestly I have no idea. It seems very unlikely that a prisoner would have access to the medicines to prevent an infection. Whoever took care of him did a great job though. The Colonel owns his life to them."
General Hammond frowns. "It seems the Colonel himself will have to inform us about what happened." He turns towards Fraiser to ask her about whether or not O'Neill is in any condition to talk about it but Janet beats him to it.
"I honestly don't know, sir. He might be relatively good physically but psychologically it's a whole different story. Earlier this morning he suffered from a nightmare that got him really upset." Janet doesn't look at Sam even though she knows that she is watching her. The doctor decides that General Hammond doesn't need to know about Sam's assistance at calming the Colonel down.
Hammond nods, understanding what the doctor means. "I know it will take a while before the Colonel will be able to talk openly about this but there are answers that we need to have. Like whether or not we should be expecting the goa'uld to come knocking on our door to get him back. Where he was captured so we can avoid going to that planet and losing a team in that prison. Who knows, maybe we even have to go there."
"I understand, General." Janet answers but she shakes her head. "I'm just afraid the experience might be too traumatic for him. I have to get a psychological evaluation but knowing Colonel O'Neill and his history with psychiatrists..."
"... that won't go down very well." Daniel finishes her sentence with a sigh.
Janet nods. "He still has to talk to a professional though but I don't think he'll be wrapped about it."
"Maybe talking to someone more familiar to him will be easier." Hammond suggests and notices how both Janet and Daniel look at Carter.
"What?" The Colonel asks confused acting as if she doesn't know why they're looking at her.
"Even though it will help Colonel O'Neill," Janet turns back towards the General. "Sam or any other member of SG-1 for that matter, isn't a psychiatrist. Talking to his friends might help but... it just isn't the same. He needs professional help."
"He won't accept it." Sam cuts in, knowing that for sure.
"I'm afraid he doesn't have much choice." Hammond points out. "We have to get some answer, as soon as possible. Doctor Fraiser, I want you to try and convince Colonel O'Neill that he should talk to someone. If not right away with Doctor MacKenzie, then to someone else but in the end he'll have to talk to a professional."
"Yes, sir." Doctor Fraiser nods. She doesn't like having to push Jack into talking but General Hammond is right, they need answers to make sure the base is safe.
"Alright then." George looks at everyone sitting around the table. "SG-1 you are on stand down until we know more about Colonel O'Neill's condition. I'm sure he can use seeing some friendly faces around him." He nods at them and stands up. "You're dismissed. Doctor, keep me posted." With that he leaves the room, giving SG-1 some time to think about everything that has been said. Daniel, Teal'c, Sam and Janet remain seated around the table, a silence descending between them as they take in the words.
"Do you think he'll want to talk about it to anyone one of us?" Daniel asks eventually.
"I guess there's only one way to find out." Fraiser answers and stands up. The others follow her example and the four of them head towards the infirmary.
***
Jack stares up at the ceiling, the Doctor and Sam had left him alone fifteen minutes ago and already he is bored to death. A nurse walks up to his bed, checks something out and then disappears again without saying a word. Not that he wants her to speak to him, he wouldn't have a clue what to say to her anyway. 'Ow, hello. I've been missing for a year and eight months. So what's new?' Maybe he should just try to get some sleep after all, like Fraiser insisted he would.
No, he doesn't want to sleep. He doesn't want the dreams to come back to him. For all he cares, he never wants to remember that place ever again. Jack stubbornly forces his eyes wide open and denies that he feels anything even resembling tired.
He is not tired.
He is not tired.
He is not...
Concentrate on the nurse, her footsteps going through the infirmary. She opens a cabinet, closes it again and walks towards the small desk in the corner. The chair scraping against the floor, the sound of her heels and then it's quiet as she sits down. Some shuffling of papers and now the only sound left is that of a fountain pen scratching over the surface of a sheet of paper. She's writing, her hand follows the pen over the paper. Scratching, dotting i's, crossing t's, her hand moving over the paper and all the while the constant scratching of the pen. It's hypnotic, soothing and relaxing and soon Jack O'Neill is lulled to sleep by the monotonous sounds.
***
Briefly Jack wonders how long they have been keeping him inside this room. The aching in his body tells him it must be days but he doubts that the goa'uld wouldn't leave even once in such a long time.
"You will answer my question." The goa'uld demands, and has been demanding for a while now. Not that Jack gives a damn. For all he cares he can just go and...
"Humph." A hard fist ends in his stomach and Jack gasps for air. Somewhere he is grateful that this time they didn't go for the ribs.
"Answer!" The demanding tone makes it clear that the goa'uld is losing his patience rapidly. Good, maybe then he could finally go back to his nice and damp cell.
"No!" He replies stubbornly. This time an invisible force hits him square across the chest, sending him flying with his back against the wall. The collision with the hard stone sends a searing pain through his already throbbing, aching and bleeding body.
The goa'uld steps forward from the shadows and his Jaffa pull Jack up roughly so he is sitting on his knees. A strong hand grabs hold of his chin and he is forced to look up at the snakehead.
"You will tell me how to open your shield." He orders in a metallic but eerily calm voice.
"Or what?" O'Neill glares at him, wondering how impressive it is coming from someone who feels like he's dying.
The goa'uld smirks. "You are a remarkable species, the Tauri. Much more resilient than your frail bodies would let you believe."
"Flattery won't get you anywhere." Jack hears himself reply and he wonders how he can seem so calm when his whole body is shivering.
"I do not expect that it will." The goa'uld replies and stretches out his arm. "But maybe this will."
Before Jack can reply the ribbon device starts glowing and the white light aimed towards him brings with it a whole new and even more unpleasant pain. He wants to cry out but it seems that his voice has left him entirely. The only thing keeping him sitting up is the iron grip of the Jaffa, making him sit in place so their 'god' can torture him as much as he likes too. The pain drives into his skull, blinding him, making everything fade except for the wish to die, to just get this over with.
And then ... it stops.
The white light disappears and Jack would fall to the ground but once again the Jaffa keep him straight. Slowly the awareness of the room around him comes back accompanied by his torturer's voice.
"Tell me how to open the shield to the earth's stargate and I will let you live." The goa'uld proposes.
Yani's words are still fresh on Jack's mind and he grins triumphantly. "You won't kill me." He says determined, praying that Yani told him the truth.
For a second there is silence and then the goa'uld laughs out loud. "I see Yani talked to you." He smirks and Jack panics, maybe his suspicions were right and the woman is a spy after all.
"Tell me. How does it feel, Colonel O'Neill, to know that there will come no end to this torture? That you are mine and you will not find the sweet relief of death?"
The goa'uld leans closer and Jack tries as hard as he can to keep his face neutral. He doesn't want the goa'uld to see how much that thought terrifies him. Yes, Colonel Jack O'Neill is scared, not that he'll admit it to anyone else of course. There's no way out of here, his body is too weak to carry him to the stargate, even if he knew where it is. So unless they would come and rescue him, it doesn't seem like he is going anywhere. And suddenly there is hope again in Jack O'Neill's mind. Sam wouldn't give up looking for him, if anyone would get him out of here, it would be her.
The emotion must have shown on his face because the goa'uld grins. "You believe your friends will rescue you. I would not be so optimistic if I were you. No one knows of this planet, I doubt very much that they will stumble in here. Besides, for all they know you are dead."
"We'll see about that." Jack growls, trying to sound like he really believes in his rescue but he knows the goa'uld is right as much as he hates admitting it to himself.
"Yes, I believe we will." He takes a step back again and his eyes light up for a second. "What do you know about the Tok'ra?"
The new line of questioning startles O'Neill but he doesn't let it show. "The what? What's that? Can you eat it?" He plays dumb.
"Very well, if you want to do it like that. I will ask no more questions today. We have all the time in the world." The goa'uld gives in.
A wave of relief washes through Jack. Finally, he could get back into his cell and let his aching body find the much needed rest. He can hear his torturer walking towards the only door in the room. Light falls inside the frame as it slides open.
"Jaffa!" The goa'uld gives his servants some orders and Jack is lifted up on his feet. In the corner of his eye he can see how the goa'uld leaves the room and the doors close behind him again. Right away the room becomes darker and Jack doesn't even get time to let his eyes adjust or he is thrown back unto the ground. He closes his eyes at the impact it has on his chest. Clinging his teeth together he fights for control, losing it as soon as a heavy boot slams down on his already bruised hand.
"You are not going anywhere, Tauri. We are to punish you as we see fit."
"Punish me for what?" Jack hisses through gritted teeth.
"Your insolence for starters." Comes the reply and the Jaffa rests his whole weight on his foot. The delicate bones in Jack's hand snap and the room fills with a sickening sound as they give way only to be drowned out by his cry of pain.
"Jack!"
***
"Jack, it's alright. You're just dreaming."
O'Neill isn't sure if the voice belongs in the dream or in the reality. He keeps his eyes firmly shut as he fights to steady his breathing. His clothes are sticking against his skin from sweat and his hand is throbbing as if the boot really had been there. He knows it wasn't, that he is safe now because there wasn't anyone stroking through his hair in the dream.
Slowly Jack opens his eyes to find Sam standing next to his bed. It's the second time today that he wakes up from a nightmare to find her there, ready to make him forget about the dreams and to allow him to kid himself that it was just that; a dream. That there isn't a reality behind them.
"I know." Jack whispers and notices his mouth is dry. As if reading his mind, Sam holds out a glass of water for him. As he reaches for it he notices how his hand is shivering uncontrollably. "Damn it." He curses the sign of weakness.
"It's alright, sir." She places her hands above his, steadying his hold on the glass so he won't spill half of the contents over the sheets and his hospital gown. "Does it hurt? Do you want Doctor Fraiser to get a look at it?" She asks gently, sounding sincerely concerned.
It fills him with a warmth he refuses to identify and he smiles at her relieved. "No, it's alright." He knows that technically his hand isn't hurting, that it is just his mind that is still stuck somewhere in the dream.
"I'll go get her anyway." Jack looks up and for the first time notices that both Daniel and Teal'c are standing beside Sam. "She needs to talk to you about something anyway." Daniel explains and then slips away, going to fetch the doctor.
"I hope that talking doesn't involve needles!" Jack calls after him and he is rewarded with a soft snicker and a beautiful smile from Sam.
He smiles back at her, realising how much he missed her laughing at his jokes. Somehow Yani never seemed to get his sarcasm. Jack's eyes drift towards the glass and only now he realises they're still both holding on to it. Sam's hands covering his shivering one. The warmth of her skin is flowing into his, steadying his muscles and taking away his ghost pain.
"I'll be alright." He assures Carter as he feels his hand is steady again. In the back of his mind there is a voice telling him that she did that to him but he pushes it aside.
Sam nods and her hands fall away from his, letting the cool air envelop his hand again as he takes a sip from the glass. Over the brim he can see how Janet enters the infirmary, Daniel on her heels. The tight set of her jaw warns O'Neill that whatever she has to talk about, it will feel as love as those needles of hers.
TO BE CONTINUED
A/N: Sorry it took so long for me to finish this one. Uni started again this week and I don't have as much time as the last couple of weeks. Also, this part proved to be a bit stubborn and I had a hard time making it work due to the more medical nature of it. I hope everything works out and is believable.
A/N²: I did not quit on my other fics. They will all be finished. My muse is on this one though and I want to force myself to keep it here until it is finished. I'm sorry if you have to wait with the other ones but don't fear, I will end them! Thanks for sticking with me and for all the reviews, they always light up my day!