Mystique and Magneto's Great Culinary Caper
By Persephone
AN: A million thanks to happymaximus, todd fan (There are dictionaries for words that haven't been invented yet? That is the coolest thing I've heard all week, wow.) Alison Sky, Eileen, and Red Witch. I'm always thrilled with any response. Wow...this chapter just wanted to get out. Considering that I've been on a Harry Potter fanfic writing binge lately, I was worried that I wouldn't get this one written anytime soon. But here it is, several days early. Well, on with the show....
Chapter Five:
Of Gallantry and Terror
***
Everybody looked up at the sound of the scream. Most managed to stop laughing as they looked around the table at each other, confused.
"Who was that?" slurred Mystique, who was now on her fifth drink, and well on her way to being completely besotted.
Everyone looked around the table again, trying to figure out who was missing. Well, to be completely accurate, Mystique surveyed the table through the bottom of her glass, Wanda inspected her nails, Lance was slipping silverware into his jacket pocket, Todd was eyeing an unsuspecting fly that buzzed overhead, and Fred was eating some more of the ham. Remy was making a bet with St John about how much more Mystique could drink before either starting to sing rowdy Irish drinking songs or passing out, while Pietro was cowering near Magneto, trying his best to calm down his currently enraged father. Vic was looking at the door with longing.
Charlie looked around the room. Another scream echoed from the kitchen, but this time everyone was so very busy trying to figure out who was gone that no one noticed the second bloodcurdling cry.
He waited a few more minutes, figuring that the others would react eventually to the second scream, since the first one had managed to calm everyone down from the hysterical laughter that everyone had been previously been indulging in at Magneto's expense. It finally became apparent that no one here was willing to make an effort to see who was missing.
"That butch boy isn't in here," Charlie finally ventured. He had noticed the boy leaving because that had been preempted by the boy finally ceasing his incessant drumming of "Iron Man." Now, Charlie was a known Black Sabbath fan, and had once even met the Oz Man himself, though that meeting had been cut short due to the pesky interference of the Los Angeles Police Department.
"Huh?" Magneto, who was still sulking, asked, looking up from his plate, where he had been swirling his mashed potatoes.
"The butch boy," began Charlie patiently. "He isn't in here."
The rest of the mutants slowly looked up, and glanced around the table, and then slowly nodded in agreement.
"He is gone," Pietro said.
"Who?" Magneto asked, surveying the table. "Oh! Poitr!"
"Give him a cookie," muttered Mystique, who was glaring at everyone. Charlie thought that she must be an angry drunk, though after watching her shoot a innocent little car jacker that wasn't really surprising news.
"Should we go and see why he screamed?" Magneto asked, reaching for his helmet, flinching as the helmet brushed against his very swollen nose. He seemed excited at the prospect of violence. After all, why would a mutant such as Colossus scream at anything less than the most horrible of situations? The boy could turn himself into solid metal, nothing could really harm him.
Well, Magneto thought wryly, I could. And St John could, theoretically, melt the metal boy. And Wanda could hurt anyone. And...
He decided to cut off that strain of thoughts before he had catalogued the mutant abilities of everyone at the table. Poitr was, after all, in mortal danger. Though it was curious that mortal danger had befallen him while inside the secure base that Magneto had monitored for any sort of strange activity whatsoever for the majority of the time. And in the kitchen at that, judging from the location of the sound of the scream that had just echoed through the dining room.
Magneto rose gallantly, preparing to charge into the kitchen and show whoever had dared to invade his territory who was boss around here.
Everyone else rose also, curious as to what Magneto could possibly do to himself this time.
However, all this rising and gallantry was in vain. Poitr came running into the dinning rom from the direction of the kitchen. He looked terrified, with his short hair sticking up in clumps. Piotr screeched to a stop in front of Magneto, and yelped, "It's horrible!"
Poitr, once stopped, looked even worse. Not only was his hair doing a Don King impression, despite being rather short, but his hands were shaking, his eyes were unnaturally wide, and he was as pale as a ghost. All in all, it looked like he had just watched his own death, and knew that it was right around the next bend.
"Are you alright?" Todd asked, a look of concern on his greenish features.
"NO!" yelled Poitr. He was now bouncing from foot to foot, looking extremely anxious. He kept glancing furtively back in the direction of the kitchen, presumably due to paranoia of being followed. "It's back there! It's horrible!"
"So you claim," said Mystique, raising an eyebrow. She might even have been able to pull of the sardonic act had she not tried to take a step forward, stumbled, and fell heavily into the table at that instant. She managed to fall into the closest chair, and she scrambled to her glass, knocking it over and spilling its contents across the table. Of course, its contents consisted of only a tiny puddle of whiskey, which covered about a full square inch of the table. Mystique, though, seemed to mourn the loss.
Mourn meaning, of course, that she immediately filled the glass back up, all the way to the rim. She sloshed the whiskey over the edge as her unsteady hands lifted it to her lips. She muttered to herself as she finished off this glass, and laid her head down on the table, mumbling about wanting to take just a little nap.
Heavy snores started up almost immediately.
The members of the Brotherhood and the Rascals had watched this with fascination. It was always completely odd watching a mentor do something completely un-mentor like, and Mystique had just done this beautifully. After all, the adults weren't the ones who were supposed to get completely smashed and pass out in random locations, like their boss's dining room table. That was supposed to be the job of the bad, rebellious teenagers, darn it!
Magneto and Vic, both having spent time in Mystique's company before, found nothing odd about her current behavior. In fact, passed out was the preferred state of Mystique's consciousness for both of them. She was just so much more pleasant, and less likely to hurt you.
Not that Magneto or Vic were afraid of the blue woman.
It was just that she was a little on the violent side.
Everyone now turned their attention back on Poitr, who was still shaking and terrified looking.
"What is it in the kitchen?" Magneto inquired of his young student in the nefarious ways of villainy.
Poitr shook with fear. "A slimy, gross..."
Pietro interrupted, "No, that's just Todd."
Wanda actually snickered.
Poitr glared at the twins, and then continued. "It was this huge, disgusting, horrible snake!"
"A snake?" Wanda asked, a horrified expression dawning across her features.
"Yes! A huge one! And probably poisonous!" Piotr was in a panic now. The Iron Man had nearly been eaten by the horrific, slimy snake! The horror! Oh, the horror!
"A snake." Lance said, not impressed.
"Yeah! It was bad, man, horrible!" Poitr said, still panicked, though fear was in second place for dominant emotion.
"Was it like an anaconda or a cobra or something like that?" Fred asked, trying to figure out why this supposedly strong mutant was afraid of a snake.
"I don't know!" yelled Poitr. "It was horrible! I jumped up on the kitchen chair, where it couldn't get me. Then, when it was distracted by my scre- I mean, when I bravely yelled at it to be gone, I jumped down and came into here."
"Oh," Fred said. "So you screamed like a little girl, then fled from the face of danger."
"Basically," said the still-pale mutant.
Magneto finally decided to take charge. "Let's go see this supposed 'snake'"
He swept into the kitchen, doing a very impressive cape swirl when he passed through the doorway. Nearly everyone also trooped to the kitchen behind him to see this horrible creature that had brought the Russian nearly to tears. Wanda followed the crowd very reluctantly. Her only reason for going in the same room as a snake was to prove to the others that she was in no way afraid of a creepy, legless reptile.
Piotr chose to remain in the dining room, claiming that he was too young to die at the fangs of a serpent of the likes of that one.
Mystique elected to stay, and continued to hold up the table back in the dining room. Being as she was completely unconscious, and all.
In the kitchen itself, Magneto looked around the room nervously, though he tried his best to hide his apprehension. He was, after all, extremely ophidiophobic.
There was no thirteen foot anaconda lying on the kitchen floor.
Magneto breathed a sigh of relief. He wouldn't have to deal with a horrible snake, after all. That was good, because those creepy little critters were frightful. Not that he was afraid.
A tiny slithering sound suddenly reached his ears.
"Aaagh!" Magneto shrieked, seeing the dreaded creature. He leapt up on a chair, hoping that the evil beast did not spot him.
"Aaagh!" shrieked Wanda, seeing the foul being. She jumped onto another chair, hoping that the vile fiend would not see her.
Everyone else looked at their terrified leader and his terrifying daughter, both standing on chairs and staring at the snake in terror. It was an utterly discombobulating sight.
The tiny garden snake was undisturbed by the racked, and stayed in its curled up position next to the stove, fast asleep.
"Bob Marley!" cheered Charlie, scooping up his best friend, "I missed you, I surely did. No waking the dead, no peace for the living."
**** Reviews are greatly appreciated.
~Persephone
By Persephone
AN: A million thanks to happymaximus, todd fan (There are dictionaries for words that haven't been invented yet? That is the coolest thing I've heard all week, wow.) Alison Sky, Eileen, and Red Witch. I'm always thrilled with any response. Wow...this chapter just wanted to get out. Considering that I've been on a Harry Potter fanfic writing binge lately, I was worried that I wouldn't get this one written anytime soon. But here it is, several days early. Well, on with the show....
Chapter Five:
Of Gallantry and Terror
***
Everybody looked up at the sound of the scream. Most managed to stop laughing as they looked around the table at each other, confused.
"Who was that?" slurred Mystique, who was now on her fifth drink, and well on her way to being completely besotted.
Everyone looked around the table again, trying to figure out who was missing. Well, to be completely accurate, Mystique surveyed the table through the bottom of her glass, Wanda inspected her nails, Lance was slipping silverware into his jacket pocket, Todd was eyeing an unsuspecting fly that buzzed overhead, and Fred was eating some more of the ham. Remy was making a bet with St John about how much more Mystique could drink before either starting to sing rowdy Irish drinking songs or passing out, while Pietro was cowering near Magneto, trying his best to calm down his currently enraged father. Vic was looking at the door with longing.
Charlie looked around the room. Another scream echoed from the kitchen, but this time everyone was so very busy trying to figure out who was gone that no one noticed the second bloodcurdling cry.
He waited a few more minutes, figuring that the others would react eventually to the second scream, since the first one had managed to calm everyone down from the hysterical laughter that everyone had been previously been indulging in at Magneto's expense. It finally became apparent that no one here was willing to make an effort to see who was missing.
"That butch boy isn't in here," Charlie finally ventured. He had noticed the boy leaving because that had been preempted by the boy finally ceasing his incessant drumming of "Iron Man." Now, Charlie was a known Black Sabbath fan, and had once even met the Oz Man himself, though that meeting had been cut short due to the pesky interference of the Los Angeles Police Department.
"Huh?" Magneto, who was still sulking, asked, looking up from his plate, where he had been swirling his mashed potatoes.
"The butch boy," began Charlie patiently. "He isn't in here."
The rest of the mutants slowly looked up, and glanced around the table, and then slowly nodded in agreement.
"He is gone," Pietro said.
"Who?" Magneto asked, surveying the table. "Oh! Poitr!"
"Give him a cookie," muttered Mystique, who was glaring at everyone. Charlie thought that she must be an angry drunk, though after watching her shoot a innocent little car jacker that wasn't really surprising news.
"Should we go and see why he screamed?" Magneto asked, reaching for his helmet, flinching as the helmet brushed against his very swollen nose. He seemed excited at the prospect of violence. After all, why would a mutant such as Colossus scream at anything less than the most horrible of situations? The boy could turn himself into solid metal, nothing could really harm him.
Well, Magneto thought wryly, I could. And St John could, theoretically, melt the metal boy. And Wanda could hurt anyone. And...
He decided to cut off that strain of thoughts before he had catalogued the mutant abilities of everyone at the table. Poitr was, after all, in mortal danger. Though it was curious that mortal danger had befallen him while inside the secure base that Magneto had monitored for any sort of strange activity whatsoever for the majority of the time. And in the kitchen at that, judging from the location of the sound of the scream that had just echoed through the dining room.
Magneto rose gallantly, preparing to charge into the kitchen and show whoever had dared to invade his territory who was boss around here.
Everyone else rose also, curious as to what Magneto could possibly do to himself this time.
However, all this rising and gallantry was in vain. Poitr came running into the dinning rom from the direction of the kitchen. He looked terrified, with his short hair sticking up in clumps. Piotr screeched to a stop in front of Magneto, and yelped, "It's horrible!"
Poitr, once stopped, looked even worse. Not only was his hair doing a Don King impression, despite being rather short, but his hands were shaking, his eyes were unnaturally wide, and he was as pale as a ghost. All in all, it looked like he had just watched his own death, and knew that it was right around the next bend.
"Are you alright?" Todd asked, a look of concern on his greenish features.
"NO!" yelled Poitr. He was now bouncing from foot to foot, looking extremely anxious. He kept glancing furtively back in the direction of the kitchen, presumably due to paranoia of being followed. "It's back there! It's horrible!"
"So you claim," said Mystique, raising an eyebrow. She might even have been able to pull of the sardonic act had she not tried to take a step forward, stumbled, and fell heavily into the table at that instant. She managed to fall into the closest chair, and she scrambled to her glass, knocking it over and spilling its contents across the table. Of course, its contents consisted of only a tiny puddle of whiskey, which covered about a full square inch of the table. Mystique, though, seemed to mourn the loss.
Mourn meaning, of course, that she immediately filled the glass back up, all the way to the rim. She sloshed the whiskey over the edge as her unsteady hands lifted it to her lips. She muttered to herself as she finished off this glass, and laid her head down on the table, mumbling about wanting to take just a little nap.
Heavy snores started up almost immediately.
The members of the Brotherhood and the Rascals had watched this with fascination. It was always completely odd watching a mentor do something completely un-mentor like, and Mystique had just done this beautifully. After all, the adults weren't the ones who were supposed to get completely smashed and pass out in random locations, like their boss's dining room table. That was supposed to be the job of the bad, rebellious teenagers, darn it!
Magneto and Vic, both having spent time in Mystique's company before, found nothing odd about her current behavior. In fact, passed out was the preferred state of Mystique's consciousness for both of them. She was just so much more pleasant, and less likely to hurt you.
Not that Magneto or Vic were afraid of the blue woman.
It was just that she was a little on the violent side.
Everyone now turned their attention back on Poitr, who was still shaking and terrified looking.
"What is it in the kitchen?" Magneto inquired of his young student in the nefarious ways of villainy.
Poitr shook with fear. "A slimy, gross..."
Pietro interrupted, "No, that's just Todd."
Wanda actually snickered.
Poitr glared at the twins, and then continued. "It was this huge, disgusting, horrible snake!"
"A snake?" Wanda asked, a horrified expression dawning across her features.
"Yes! A huge one! And probably poisonous!" Piotr was in a panic now. The Iron Man had nearly been eaten by the horrific, slimy snake! The horror! Oh, the horror!
"A snake." Lance said, not impressed.
"Yeah! It was bad, man, horrible!" Poitr said, still panicked, though fear was in second place for dominant emotion.
"Was it like an anaconda or a cobra or something like that?" Fred asked, trying to figure out why this supposedly strong mutant was afraid of a snake.
"I don't know!" yelled Poitr. "It was horrible! I jumped up on the kitchen chair, where it couldn't get me. Then, when it was distracted by my scre- I mean, when I bravely yelled at it to be gone, I jumped down and came into here."
"Oh," Fred said. "So you screamed like a little girl, then fled from the face of danger."
"Basically," said the still-pale mutant.
Magneto finally decided to take charge. "Let's go see this supposed 'snake'"
He swept into the kitchen, doing a very impressive cape swirl when he passed through the doorway. Nearly everyone also trooped to the kitchen behind him to see this horrible creature that had brought the Russian nearly to tears. Wanda followed the crowd very reluctantly. Her only reason for going in the same room as a snake was to prove to the others that she was in no way afraid of a creepy, legless reptile.
Piotr chose to remain in the dining room, claiming that he was too young to die at the fangs of a serpent of the likes of that one.
Mystique elected to stay, and continued to hold up the table back in the dining room. Being as she was completely unconscious, and all.
In the kitchen itself, Magneto looked around the room nervously, though he tried his best to hide his apprehension. He was, after all, extremely ophidiophobic.
There was no thirteen foot anaconda lying on the kitchen floor.
Magneto breathed a sigh of relief. He wouldn't have to deal with a horrible snake, after all. That was good, because those creepy little critters were frightful. Not that he was afraid.
A tiny slithering sound suddenly reached his ears.
"Aaagh!" Magneto shrieked, seeing the dreaded creature. He leapt up on a chair, hoping that the evil beast did not spot him.
"Aaagh!" shrieked Wanda, seeing the foul being. She jumped onto another chair, hoping that the vile fiend would not see her.
Everyone else looked at their terrified leader and his terrifying daughter, both standing on chairs and staring at the snake in terror. It was an utterly discombobulating sight.
The tiny garden snake was undisturbed by the racked, and stayed in its curled up position next to the stove, fast asleep.
"Bob Marley!" cheered Charlie, scooping up his best friend, "I missed you, I surely did. No waking the dead, no peace for the living."
**** Reviews are greatly appreciated.
~Persephone