Mystique and Magneto's Great Culinary Caper
By Persephone
AN: A huge thank you to all of you who reviewed! I really, really appreciate it. Have some cookie dough ice cream. :) No, the story's not quite over yet. I figure there are one or two chapters left. Of course, I also thought the whole story would be two or three chapters, so that shows what all I know.
Chapter Six
Of Cookie Dough Ice Cream
A few minutes later, Charlie was still rocking next to the stove, hugging the snake named Bob Marley. Well, his actually position was more of a cradling, due to the fact that it is quite difficult to mutually hug a snake. The whole no arms or discernable limbs period thing kind of became an issue.
He eventually got up, still cradling the snake, and headed into the dining room. All the remaining kiddos watched him, and wondered if it was safe to also go into the dining room. On one hand, the crazy hitchhiker with the snake was in there, probably singing a lullaby to the reptile, if his humming during his exit was any indication. On the other hand, staying in here meant a better chance of being on the receiving end of Wanda's wrath.
The collective members of the Brotherhood and Rascals began to follow Charlie's lead and exit the kitchen. Most, as soon as they got out of the kitchen proper, began to snicker to themselves over Magneto. They now practically had a full arsenal of material for the inevitable group mocking sessions. Todd thought that he would be able to do an admirable job of recreating Magneto's leap into the air and onto the chair after he had seen the snake.
None of them were planning on mocking Wanda for her identical reaction, though. While Magneto might be one of the oldest, therefore most experienced, as well as one of the more powerful mutants on the planet, his wrath was nothing to be feared when compared to his daughters. This may have something to do with the fact that the younger generation of 'bad' mutants saw Magneto as a mentor, and normally refined individual. On the other hand, they saw Wanda as a moody, psychotic, and most importantly, angry individual. She was, therefore, much more likely to hurt or maim one of her teammates.
As the straggling St. John meandered out of the kitchen, Magneto climbed down off his chair, and scowled at his daughter, who had just hopped gracefully to the floor.
"Well?" he said.
"Well what?" Wanda asked, confused at the rather random question.
"I know you're going to have some snide comment to say about the last five minutes. Come on. Give me your worst." Magneto snapped.
"I really don't know what you're talking about," Wanda replied, giving her best innocent look. It wasn't very. She made a valiant attempt, though.
"Yes, you very well do!" Magneto yelled. He was turning a rather unattractive shade of red which clashed horribly with the vibrant purple his swollen nose had turned. He raised his arms up, and almost began to yell out a rant to be reckoned with, but regained his sense of self at the last possible moment. He lowered his arms, and said, "Tell the others that dessert will be ready in just a few moments."
"Okay," replied Wanda. She began to head out of the kitchen when something on the counter caught her eye. She looked back at her father, who was rummaging in the freezer, oblivious to her actions. She looked back at the counter. She really shouldn't...
Yes, she should.
It would be very, very fun.
She picked the plastic cheese grater off the counter, and slipped it into her jacket pocket. She wondered briefly why exactly the Master of Magnetism would need a plastic cheese grater, then dismissed the thought. She probably didn't want to know.
Meanwhile, Victor Creed was hiding out in the basement.
Now, he had a very good reason for hiding out, despite the fact that hiding out was something that Victor Creed avoided doing unless it was the very, very last option available. Vic was not the cowardly sort, after all. He was a fearsome, terrifying mercenary that scared the living poo out of any do-gooder or villain wannabe that crossed his path. He ripped lives apart like string cheese, pulling at every individual strand mercilessly, consuming with gusto, occasionally leaving it half eaten to be forgotten, and eventually turn strange colors and shrivel up on the back of the bottom shelf of the refrigerator. He was a bad, bad man.
It had been about five thirty when Vic had wandered into the kitchen, looking for something to do before he had to go tell Magneto it was time for dinner. He had opened the freezer, and spotted the carton of ice cream.
Many people were under the misconception that, as a rabidly feral mutant, Vic survived solely on a diet of freshly slaughtered game and the occasional broad.
However, as anyone with any sort of background with the food pyramid realizes, freshly slaughtered game and the occasional broad do not provide a healthy, well rounded diet. A person needs to eat fruits, vegetables, dairy products, grains, and many other sorts of food in order to be a happy, regular individual.
Vic enjoyed being a happy, regular individual. Therefore, he ate a rather balanced diet. He ate salads, apples, and potatoes. He enjoyed a good curry, and wasn't above eating a bagel for breakfast. He had a special fondness in his heart for kiwi, and thought that pomegranates was quite delightful, thank you very much. He wasn't overly fond of tofu, but could find nothing wrong with eating a good soy burger as a replacement for the more traditional beef ones.
But, his absolute favorite food outside of freshly slaughtered game and the occasional broad was ice cream.
He loved many different flavors of ice cream. Chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry. Rocky road, mint chocolate chip, and the colorful Superman. Peanut butter, mocha, and toffee. Every flavor that Ben and Jerry had come up with, especially Cherry Garcia, Chunky Monkey, and the ever so delightful Hunka Burnin' Fudge.
However, his greatest ice cream weakness was for cookie dough ice cream. It didn't matter what brand it was, from Mayfield down to the Sir Save A Lot bargain bin close-out off brand. All that mattered was those delicious morses of cookie dough entrenched in the sweet vanilla ice cream. He had killed over the last carton of cookie dough ice cream before, and would undoubtedly do so again.
So, when he had seen the heavenly carton just sitting there, unguarded in the freezer, he had been unable to resist.
It had only been five minutes later, while Vic had ben blissfully savoring the very last spoonful that he had remembered what Magneto had said about the carton of cookie dough ice cream.
"I have a plan to win over Wanda's affections," Magneto had said. "I remembered that she loved cookie dough ice cream as a child, so I'm going to give her some at that dreadful dinner I'm having. Be sure to guard that ice cream from the boys!"
So that had been why the ice cream had been unguarded. He had been supposed to guard it.
He had been staring, horrified at the empty carton. It was much to late to go buy a new carton of ice cream. Magneto's base was so very far out in the boonies of Bayville, it was impossible to get anywhere on short notice. Vic personally didn't see much sense in building a top secret layer out in the middle of nowhere when a large home close to Wal-Mart, Home Depot, and the local bars was not only more convenient, but also less conspicuous.
It also would have made getting a new carton of cookie dough ice cream much more handy for everyone involved.
Vic looked in the freezer again, hoping against hope that a new carton of cookie dough ice cream had appeared. None had.
There was, however, a half empty carton of plain vanilla ice cream.
Vic looked at the vanilla ice cream, and at the high tech microwave across the room.
An idea began to form in his mind.
He stuck the vanilla ice cream in the microwave, nuked it for a minute, and then grinned at himself as he removed the carton of vanilla soup. He poured the vanilla soup in the empty cookie dough ice cream carton, then stuck it back in the freezer. He threw away the now-empty carton of vanilla ice cream, and took off to tell Magneto it was now time for dinner.
But one thing had occurred to him halfway through dinner.
There was no cookie dough in the cookie dough ice cream!
He had known that when he poured the vanilla ice cream into the cookie dough ice cream container, of course. Cookie dough didn't just appear, not even for super powered beings. But the idea of no cookie dough hadn't figured into his plan. There was now ice cream in the container, that was plenty good enough, right?
Well, maybe if he hadn't been the one assigned to guard it.
Now, Magneto was already highly miffed at the world in general, and he would undoubtedly notice the lack of cookie dough in the cookie dough ice cream. And when he did, Vic would have a snowball's chance of explaining himself before metal things began to fly at him at a very high velocity.
And due to the fact that the entire frickin base was metal, there was a startling variety of metal things to be flung at him. Most of which would hurt. A lot.
So therefore, Vic hid in the basement, hoping that someone else would get the blame for the cookie doughless ice cream.
***
Reviews are greatly appreciated!
~Persephone
By Persephone
AN: A huge thank you to all of you who reviewed! I really, really appreciate it. Have some cookie dough ice cream. :) No, the story's not quite over yet. I figure there are one or two chapters left. Of course, I also thought the whole story would be two or three chapters, so that shows what all I know.
Chapter Six
Of Cookie Dough Ice Cream
A few minutes later, Charlie was still rocking next to the stove, hugging the snake named Bob Marley. Well, his actually position was more of a cradling, due to the fact that it is quite difficult to mutually hug a snake. The whole no arms or discernable limbs period thing kind of became an issue.
He eventually got up, still cradling the snake, and headed into the dining room. All the remaining kiddos watched him, and wondered if it was safe to also go into the dining room. On one hand, the crazy hitchhiker with the snake was in there, probably singing a lullaby to the reptile, if his humming during his exit was any indication. On the other hand, staying in here meant a better chance of being on the receiving end of Wanda's wrath.
The collective members of the Brotherhood and Rascals began to follow Charlie's lead and exit the kitchen. Most, as soon as they got out of the kitchen proper, began to snicker to themselves over Magneto. They now practically had a full arsenal of material for the inevitable group mocking sessions. Todd thought that he would be able to do an admirable job of recreating Magneto's leap into the air and onto the chair after he had seen the snake.
None of them were planning on mocking Wanda for her identical reaction, though. While Magneto might be one of the oldest, therefore most experienced, as well as one of the more powerful mutants on the planet, his wrath was nothing to be feared when compared to his daughters. This may have something to do with the fact that the younger generation of 'bad' mutants saw Magneto as a mentor, and normally refined individual. On the other hand, they saw Wanda as a moody, psychotic, and most importantly, angry individual. She was, therefore, much more likely to hurt or maim one of her teammates.
As the straggling St. John meandered out of the kitchen, Magneto climbed down off his chair, and scowled at his daughter, who had just hopped gracefully to the floor.
"Well?" he said.
"Well what?" Wanda asked, confused at the rather random question.
"I know you're going to have some snide comment to say about the last five minutes. Come on. Give me your worst." Magneto snapped.
"I really don't know what you're talking about," Wanda replied, giving her best innocent look. It wasn't very. She made a valiant attempt, though.
"Yes, you very well do!" Magneto yelled. He was turning a rather unattractive shade of red which clashed horribly with the vibrant purple his swollen nose had turned. He raised his arms up, and almost began to yell out a rant to be reckoned with, but regained his sense of self at the last possible moment. He lowered his arms, and said, "Tell the others that dessert will be ready in just a few moments."
"Okay," replied Wanda. She began to head out of the kitchen when something on the counter caught her eye. She looked back at her father, who was rummaging in the freezer, oblivious to her actions. She looked back at the counter. She really shouldn't...
Yes, she should.
It would be very, very fun.
She picked the plastic cheese grater off the counter, and slipped it into her jacket pocket. She wondered briefly why exactly the Master of Magnetism would need a plastic cheese grater, then dismissed the thought. She probably didn't want to know.
Meanwhile, Victor Creed was hiding out in the basement.
Now, he had a very good reason for hiding out, despite the fact that hiding out was something that Victor Creed avoided doing unless it was the very, very last option available. Vic was not the cowardly sort, after all. He was a fearsome, terrifying mercenary that scared the living poo out of any do-gooder or villain wannabe that crossed his path. He ripped lives apart like string cheese, pulling at every individual strand mercilessly, consuming with gusto, occasionally leaving it half eaten to be forgotten, and eventually turn strange colors and shrivel up on the back of the bottom shelf of the refrigerator. He was a bad, bad man.
It had been about five thirty when Vic had wandered into the kitchen, looking for something to do before he had to go tell Magneto it was time for dinner. He had opened the freezer, and spotted the carton of ice cream.
Many people were under the misconception that, as a rabidly feral mutant, Vic survived solely on a diet of freshly slaughtered game and the occasional broad.
However, as anyone with any sort of background with the food pyramid realizes, freshly slaughtered game and the occasional broad do not provide a healthy, well rounded diet. A person needs to eat fruits, vegetables, dairy products, grains, and many other sorts of food in order to be a happy, regular individual.
Vic enjoyed being a happy, regular individual. Therefore, he ate a rather balanced diet. He ate salads, apples, and potatoes. He enjoyed a good curry, and wasn't above eating a bagel for breakfast. He had a special fondness in his heart for kiwi, and thought that pomegranates was quite delightful, thank you very much. He wasn't overly fond of tofu, but could find nothing wrong with eating a good soy burger as a replacement for the more traditional beef ones.
But, his absolute favorite food outside of freshly slaughtered game and the occasional broad was ice cream.
He loved many different flavors of ice cream. Chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry. Rocky road, mint chocolate chip, and the colorful Superman. Peanut butter, mocha, and toffee. Every flavor that Ben and Jerry had come up with, especially Cherry Garcia, Chunky Monkey, and the ever so delightful Hunka Burnin' Fudge.
However, his greatest ice cream weakness was for cookie dough ice cream. It didn't matter what brand it was, from Mayfield down to the Sir Save A Lot bargain bin close-out off brand. All that mattered was those delicious morses of cookie dough entrenched in the sweet vanilla ice cream. He had killed over the last carton of cookie dough ice cream before, and would undoubtedly do so again.
So, when he had seen the heavenly carton just sitting there, unguarded in the freezer, he had been unable to resist.
It had only been five minutes later, while Vic had ben blissfully savoring the very last spoonful that he had remembered what Magneto had said about the carton of cookie dough ice cream.
"I have a plan to win over Wanda's affections," Magneto had said. "I remembered that she loved cookie dough ice cream as a child, so I'm going to give her some at that dreadful dinner I'm having. Be sure to guard that ice cream from the boys!"
So that had been why the ice cream had been unguarded. He had been supposed to guard it.
He had been staring, horrified at the empty carton. It was much to late to go buy a new carton of ice cream. Magneto's base was so very far out in the boonies of Bayville, it was impossible to get anywhere on short notice. Vic personally didn't see much sense in building a top secret layer out in the middle of nowhere when a large home close to Wal-Mart, Home Depot, and the local bars was not only more convenient, but also less conspicuous.
It also would have made getting a new carton of cookie dough ice cream much more handy for everyone involved.
Vic looked in the freezer again, hoping against hope that a new carton of cookie dough ice cream had appeared. None had.
There was, however, a half empty carton of plain vanilla ice cream.
Vic looked at the vanilla ice cream, and at the high tech microwave across the room.
An idea began to form in his mind.
He stuck the vanilla ice cream in the microwave, nuked it for a minute, and then grinned at himself as he removed the carton of vanilla soup. He poured the vanilla soup in the empty cookie dough ice cream carton, then stuck it back in the freezer. He threw away the now-empty carton of vanilla ice cream, and took off to tell Magneto it was now time for dinner.
But one thing had occurred to him halfway through dinner.
There was no cookie dough in the cookie dough ice cream!
He had known that when he poured the vanilla ice cream into the cookie dough ice cream container, of course. Cookie dough didn't just appear, not even for super powered beings. But the idea of no cookie dough hadn't figured into his plan. There was now ice cream in the container, that was plenty good enough, right?
Well, maybe if he hadn't been the one assigned to guard it.
Now, Magneto was already highly miffed at the world in general, and he would undoubtedly notice the lack of cookie dough in the cookie dough ice cream. And when he did, Vic would have a snowball's chance of explaining himself before metal things began to fly at him at a very high velocity.
And due to the fact that the entire frickin base was metal, there was a startling variety of metal things to be flung at him. Most of which would hurt. A lot.
So therefore, Vic hid in the basement, hoping that someone else would get the blame for the cookie doughless ice cream.
***
Reviews are greatly appreciated!
~Persephone