Mystique and Magneto's Great Culinary Caper
By Persephone
AN: Thanks a million to everyone who reviewed!! (Eileen, you were getting ahead of me!) And thanks to Yelhsa for her help on this part :) Only one chapter to go, y'all!
Chapter Seven Of Cheese Graters and Geese
"Time for desert!" Magneto boomed menacingly.
No one looked particularly impressed. No one moved, either. Remy coughed once, but other than that, the dining room was still.
"I have ice cream!" Magneto pitifully pleaded. A cricket chirped. Mystique snored loudly.
Everyone else just stared at him blankly, except Wanda. She looked up from her sulking. No one was really sure why she was sulking, except perhaps because she had been afraid of the snake, and had expressed her fear in exactly the same manner as her father.
Anyway, Wanda looked up hopefully. "What kind of ice cream?"
"Cookie dough," replied her father.
Wanda squealed with excitement.
Fred, Todd, Lance and Pietro looked at her in disbelief. Had sullen, angry Wanda just... squealed with joy?
Impossible.
"I love cookie dough ice cream!" exclaimed Wanda happily. "It has all the yummy cookie goodness all mixed up in the yummy vanilla ice cream and it's just so awesome and I haven't had any in forever and I can't wait!"
Magneto smiled, knowing that his devilish plot to win over his daughter was working perfectly. With a swoosh of his cape, he left the dining room for the quick journey to the kitchen to get the carton of ice cream.
Wanda continued to go on about the merits of cookie dough ice cream. "The gobs of cookie dough are that perfect frozen texture that blends so well with the ice cream. It's like cookies and milk, but more so, you know!"
Todd couldn't stand it anymore. He hopped over to Wanda's seat, and smacked her on the cheeks a few times. "Get a hold of yourself girl!" "My sister has been replaced by a pod person," Pietro announced. "We need to go get the real Wanda, and force her to listen to the fake one. It might do her some good."
"Or it might finally break her," Lance offered. "A giddy Wanda is enough to scare anyone."
They continued to stare at the excited girl, who was gibbering on about the virtues of cookie dough ice cream.
Fred suddenly chuckled.
"What?" Todd asked.
"You all thought I was obsessed with food!"
While the Brotherhood in its original entirety was discussing Wanda's odd behavior, the Rascals were having something of a conference at the other end of the table.
"We couldn't..." Poitr said, his eyes open wide.
"We shouldn't..." St John added, looking excited at the prospect.
"We should." Remy said decisively. The three boys turned to look at Charlie. The scuzzy man was making a roll and a chicken bone dance a tango across a thin layer of mashed potatoes on his plate.
Poitr said, "Well, if you're sure that it will be alright..."
"Course it will be alright," Remy said as soothingly as he dared. Poitr tended to think that Remy was hitting on him if he talked too soothingly. Not that he had talked to the Russian boy soothingly very often. It was just when he did, the Russian boy took it as an unwanted advance, which was most definitely not the way Remy had intended it.
St John broke the silence. "So, when do we..."
"Right now," Remy interrupted.
The three boys got up and wandered over to Charlie. He looked up at them.
"Charlie," Poitr began.
St John spoke up. "We were wondering..."
"Yeah?" Charlie looked suspicious. He laid the chicken bone very carefully down on the roll, balancing the bone precariously over a leftover bit of ham. Charlie gave the chicken bone a brief word of encouragement, urging the bone to keep its balance despite the throes of gravity.
"Would you possibly.." Poitr said, nervously wringing his hands. "Play 'Duck, Duck, Goose' with us?" Remy interrupted, exasperated with the slowness of the Russian. He ignored the fact that the Australian had likewise been taking forever, because St John was kinda creepy. Always tinkering around in the basement, muttering about world domination...
Charlie looked slightly put off for a moment, an expression on his face clearly showing his mistrust. Then he smiled, and nodded. "Let's play!"
They all stepped away from the table, and decided that Poitr would be 'it.'
Remy, St John, and Charlie then sat on the floor in as close to a circle that three people could make, though it really just looked like a triangle. Poitr began his trek around the circle, saying, "Duck, duck..."
Just then, Magneto swept back into the room, holding a carton of ice cream.
They froze.
He froze, looking at the members of his newest team of evil mutants.
Poitr's hand was hovering just above Charlie's head. Magneto probably had some comment, or some inarticulate noise to make, but just then Wanda leapt.
She tackled Magneto, and pried the carton of ice cream from his hands.
"Cookie dough..." She said, cuddling the carton and eyeing it with raw lust. "Spoon?"
Magneto, hoping she would let him up, levitated a spoon to her. Wanda did let him up, and went to the table, where she pried the lid off the carton.
She stared at it in dismay.
Her lower lip began to tremble. Her eyes misted up. A look of absolute rage took over her dainty features.
"HOW DARE YOU!!" she burst out.
Magneto looked at her, bewildered. What could possibly be wrong with the ice cream? He'd assigned Creed to watch it and everything...
It was at that moment that Magneto realized that Creed was nowhere in sight. He hadn't seen him since before the snake incident, actually. Magneto focused again on his daughter. Everyone had, in fact.
The Brotherhood was backing away slowly, obviously experienced with Wanda's temper. The Rascals were not as wise, and were still just sitting in their triangular circle, with Poitr standing behind Charlie, though he had dropped his hand sometime in the past minute. Mystique was still unconscious, and let out another loud snore. Wanda began to advance on Magneto holding the carton out accusingly.
"Not only did you put me in a looney bin," she began angrily, "you made me think you were going to give me cookie dough ice cream, only to give me this!"
Magneto looked into the carton. Its contents definitely did not look like cookie dough ice cream. He really wasn't sure what it looked like, in fact. It was white and freezer burned. He sniffed at it cautiously. It smelled... vanilla.
He blinked.
Wanda was still ranting at him. He was definitely going to get Creed over this one. No punishment would be to harsh.
"Are you listening to me?" Wanda's voice broke through his mental plans of how to punish Creed using only a stuffed bunny and a Britney Spears CD.
"Of course!" Magneto lied through his teeth.
Wanda lowered her eyes into a quite evil glare. She obviously didn't believe him.
"I hate you!" she declared, and pulled something from her pocket.
A cheese grater.
Not any cheese grater.
The plastic cheese grater he had bought at the Dollar Tree after his trusty metal one had broken after first grating a two pound block of mozzarella, then getting flung at a Jehovah's Witness via magnetic waves, then chasing said Jehovah's Witness for a good three miles before getting hit by a passing eighteen-wheeler. The cheese grater had been greatly mourned.
The plastic one was the only one in stock at the highly reputable Dollar Tree, besides an untrustworthy looking dented metal cheese grater that already had rust around the edges. Magneto had bought it reluctantly, thinking that the plastic one was going to be a lot of trouble. However, to his amazement, grating cheese turned out to be an amazingly relaxing activity. So he had kept the plastic cheese grater so that he had a good excuse to grate the cheese by hand.
Now, however, it seemed to have been a bad strategic move. He was incapable of disarming the angry young female that was currently about three seconds away from attacking him.
Wanda attacked Magneto with the plastic cheese grater.
The collective members of the Brotherhood and the Rascals flinched in unison as they watched the carnage.
Mystique snored again, blissfully passed out on the table. Vic still hid in the basement.
****
Reviews are greatly appreciated!
~Persephone
By Persephone
AN: Thanks a million to everyone who reviewed!! (Eileen, you were getting ahead of me!) And thanks to Yelhsa for her help on this part :) Only one chapter to go, y'all!
Chapter Seven Of Cheese Graters and Geese
"Time for desert!" Magneto boomed menacingly.
No one looked particularly impressed. No one moved, either. Remy coughed once, but other than that, the dining room was still.
"I have ice cream!" Magneto pitifully pleaded. A cricket chirped. Mystique snored loudly.
Everyone else just stared at him blankly, except Wanda. She looked up from her sulking. No one was really sure why she was sulking, except perhaps because she had been afraid of the snake, and had expressed her fear in exactly the same manner as her father.
Anyway, Wanda looked up hopefully. "What kind of ice cream?"
"Cookie dough," replied her father.
Wanda squealed with excitement.
Fred, Todd, Lance and Pietro looked at her in disbelief. Had sullen, angry Wanda just... squealed with joy?
Impossible.
"I love cookie dough ice cream!" exclaimed Wanda happily. "It has all the yummy cookie goodness all mixed up in the yummy vanilla ice cream and it's just so awesome and I haven't had any in forever and I can't wait!"
Magneto smiled, knowing that his devilish plot to win over his daughter was working perfectly. With a swoosh of his cape, he left the dining room for the quick journey to the kitchen to get the carton of ice cream.
Wanda continued to go on about the merits of cookie dough ice cream. "The gobs of cookie dough are that perfect frozen texture that blends so well with the ice cream. It's like cookies and milk, but more so, you know!"
Todd couldn't stand it anymore. He hopped over to Wanda's seat, and smacked her on the cheeks a few times. "Get a hold of yourself girl!" "My sister has been replaced by a pod person," Pietro announced. "We need to go get the real Wanda, and force her to listen to the fake one. It might do her some good."
"Or it might finally break her," Lance offered. "A giddy Wanda is enough to scare anyone."
They continued to stare at the excited girl, who was gibbering on about the virtues of cookie dough ice cream.
Fred suddenly chuckled.
"What?" Todd asked.
"You all thought I was obsessed with food!"
While the Brotherhood in its original entirety was discussing Wanda's odd behavior, the Rascals were having something of a conference at the other end of the table.
"We couldn't..." Poitr said, his eyes open wide.
"We shouldn't..." St John added, looking excited at the prospect.
"We should." Remy said decisively. The three boys turned to look at Charlie. The scuzzy man was making a roll and a chicken bone dance a tango across a thin layer of mashed potatoes on his plate.
Poitr said, "Well, if you're sure that it will be alright..."
"Course it will be alright," Remy said as soothingly as he dared. Poitr tended to think that Remy was hitting on him if he talked too soothingly. Not that he had talked to the Russian boy soothingly very often. It was just when he did, the Russian boy took it as an unwanted advance, which was most definitely not the way Remy had intended it.
St John broke the silence. "So, when do we..."
"Right now," Remy interrupted.
The three boys got up and wandered over to Charlie. He looked up at them.
"Charlie," Poitr began.
St John spoke up. "We were wondering..."
"Yeah?" Charlie looked suspicious. He laid the chicken bone very carefully down on the roll, balancing the bone precariously over a leftover bit of ham. Charlie gave the chicken bone a brief word of encouragement, urging the bone to keep its balance despite the throes of gravity.
"Would you possibly.." Poitr said, nervously wringing his hands. "Play 'Duck, Duck, Goose' with us?" Remy interrupted, exasperated with the slowness of the Russian. He ignored the fact that the Australian had likewise been taking forever, because St John was kinda creepy. Always tinkering around in the basement, muttering about world domination...
Charlie looked slightly put off for a moment, an expression on his face clearly showing his mistrust. Then he smiled, and nodded. "Let's play!"
They all stepped away from the table, and decided that Poitr would be 'it.'
Remy, St John, and Charlie then sat on the floor in as close to a circle that three people could make, though it really just looked like a triangle. Poitr began his trek around the circle, saying, "Duck, duck..."
Just then, Magneto swept back into the room, holding a carton of ice cream.
They froze.
He froze, looking at the members of his newest team of evil mutants.
Poitr's hand was hovering just above Charlie's head. Magneto probably had some comment, or some inarticulate noise to make, but just then Wanda leapt.
She tackled Magneto, and pried the carton of ice cream from his hands.
"Cookie dough..." She said, cuddling the carton and eyeing it with raw lust. "Spoon?"
Magneto, hoping she would let him up, levitated a spoon to her. Wanda did let him up, and went to the table, where she pried the lid off the carton.
She stared at it in dismay.
Her lower lip began to tremble. Her eyes misted up. A look of absolute rage took over her dainty features.
"HOW DARE YOU!!" she burst out.
Magneto looked at her, bewildered. What could possibly be wrong with the ice cream? He'd assigned Creed to watch it and everything...
It was at that moment that Magneto realized that Creed was nowhere in sight. He hadn't seen him since before the snake incident, actually. Magneto focused again on his daughter. Everyone had, in fact.
The Brotherhood was backing away slowly, obviously experienced with Wanda's temper. The Rascals were not as wise, and were still just sitting in their triangular circle, with Poitr standing behind Charlie, though he had dropped his hand sometime in the past minute. Mystique was still unconscious, and let out another loud snore. Wanda began to advance on Magneto holding the carton out accusingly.
"Not only did you put me in a looney bin," she began angrily, "you made me think you were going to give me cookie dough ice cream, only to give me this!"
Magneto looked into the carton. Its contents definitely did not look like cookie dough ice cream. He really wasn't sure what it looked like, in fact. It was white and freezer burned. He sniffed at it cautiously. It smelled... vanilla.
He blinked.
Wanda was still ranting at him. He was definitely going to get Creed over this one. No punishment would be to harsh.
"Are you listening to me?" Wanda's voice broke through his mental plans of how to punish Creed using only a stuffed bunny and a Britney Spears CD.
"Of course!" Magneto lied through his teeth.
Wanda lowered her eyes into a quite evil glare. She obviously didn't believe him.
"I hate you!" she declared, and pulled something from her pocket.
A cheese grater.
Not any cheese grater.
The plastic cheese grater he had bought at the Dollar Tree after his trusty metal one had broken after first grating a two pound block of mozzarella, then getting flung at a Jehovah's Witness via magnetic waves, then chasing said Jehovah's Witness for a good three miles before getting hit by a passing eighteen-wheeler. The cheese grater had been greatly mourned.
The plastic one was the only one in stock at the highly reputable Dollar Tree, besides an untrustworthy looking dented metal cheese grater that already had rust around the edges. Magneto had bought it reluctantly, thinking that the plastic one was going to be a lot of trouble. However, to his amazement, grating cheese turned out to be an amazingly relaxing activity. So he had kept the plastic cheese grater so that he had a good excuse to grate the cheese by hand.
Now, however, it seemed to have been a bad strategic move. He was incapable of disarming the angry young female that was currently about three seconds away from attacking him.
Wanda attacked Magneto with the plastic cheese grater.
The collective members of the Brotherhood and the Rascals flinched in unison as they watched the carnage.
Mystique snored again, blissfully passed out on the table. Vic still hid in the basement.
****
Reviews are greatly appreciated!
~Persephone