Disclaimer: You want to read it, go to the first chapter. C'mon, do I have
to tell you this every time?? I know you guys are smarter than that! =)
Disclaimer #2: The featured song in this chapter is "If I Never Knew You", by Jon Sedaca and Shanice from the Pocahontas soundtrack. I don't own it, never did, and never will.
Author's note: I am so, so, so, so, so, so terribly sorry about my long delay! Finals and summer school have all taken a toll on me and my writing. Not to mention the construction of FF.net also did not help in posting any sooner. My writer's block is barely thawing out, so this story may not be one of my finest, but I hope it was worth your wait. Thank you all for your super reviews. They mean so much to me. Well, without further delay, on with the story!
Author's note # 2: I'd like to give a big shout-out to Jen, you know who you are, this chapter is for you. Thanx so much!!!
Living Their Dream
Chapter 5
Carefully navigating, so as not to let Jamie's legs hit any walls or chairs, Landon walked up the stairs to the master bedroom, their room, Jamie still cradled in his arms. Once he was inside their room, he gently set her on her feet in front of him and just looked at her.
Jamie normally would have felt shy and bashful with someone's constant gaze on her, but with Landon, it was different. When he looked at her, despite what he said, the look in his eyes made her feel beautiful and loved. *I mean, don't get me wrong. I love it when Landon tells me he loves me. But, anyone could say to someone that they were beautiful and that they loved them, but you couldn't forge a look, especially the look that's in Landon's eyes. He really does love me. * The eyes really are windows to the soul and they showed everything she loved about Landon.
Landon cupped her cheek and moved his hand up until it was completely immersed in her hair. Jamie's arms were still linked around his neck and in a moment's notice, she decided to surprise him by taking the initiative and pulled his face down until his lips were pressed against hers.
Landon was a bit shocked by her impulsive move, but he certainly wasn't complaining. He let himself sink into the kiss, letting his hand fall down to rest on her shoulder, then slide down her arm, feeling the cool, snow- colored satin underneath his hand, until it finally settled on her tiny waist, pulling her to him as much as he could.
The kiss grew more and more intense with each second that passed by. It was a kiss like neither had experienced before. All their love and growing passion was poured into that kiss. Jamie's fingertips slowly toyed with the strands of hair at the nape of Landon's neck, allowing herself to remember this moment and to forever commit to memory the feeling of her husband's short, silky locks in between her fingers.
Jamie was first to lean back out of their kiss, taking a deep breath of needed air before looking up at Landon. His chest heaved heavily against hers, indicating his own exhaustion and he smiled a sly smile at her, as if he knew the ulterior motive she carried.
"I was right. You are trying to seduce me."
Jamie laughed and crossed her wrists behind his neck, locking him into her embrace. "Wouldn't you like to know?" She whispered back at him, her chocolate-colored eyes bubbling with playfulness. Landon looked at her and began to wonder where they were going from here.
Tonight was their wedding night; he already knew that. He wasn't a complete idiot. But, he couldn't help wondering if this was the right time. He lifted her left arm off of his shoulder and, as gently as he could, clasped her hand.
Her hand: so smooth, so small, and so damn thin. He rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand. Landon could feel all the tiny bones in the back of her hand. It saddened him inside to see her this way. The leukemia had taken so much out of her already, her strength in particular.
Well, that was one of the reasons why he was that much more scared tonight.
There was so many emotions running though his system and rushing to his head and out of everything he was feeling, he just wanted everything to be perfect tonight. No matter what happened, Landon wanted Jamie to have the perfect night. He wasn't going to rush anything, just let it happen. Life had already taken so much from her; he couldn't give her much, but he was determined to give her this one night.
"Landon? Landon, are you still there?"
Landon looked down to connect with Jamie's concerned gaze. "Landon? Are you ok? You looked like you were a million miles away." Looking at her face, so full of concern for him, he just simply smiled at her. * Geez, I just can't stop smiling at that face, or kissing that face for that matter. *, He thought as he settled his lips over hers again and swept her away in another soft, yet passionate, kiss.
When he pulled himself away from her rosy little lips, Landon cradled her face in between his hands and began to caress her soft cheeks. "I'm great." Resting her forehead against his, Jamie gave him in return that infamous smile of hers; the smile that seemed to light up a room whenever she was in it, the smile that made Landon want to be that much of a better person, just for her. Jamie's smile had a purifying feeling to it, like you were a better person, regardless of who you really were, when you were with her.
"Well, I think it's time for me to get out of this dress and change into something a little bit.lighter." Turning away from Landon, Jamie swept her long, thick mane of hair off her neck to expose the neatly concealed zipper trailing down the back of the dress. Jamie twisted her head around so she could still see him. "Would you mind undoing the zipper for me? I can't reach behind me very well."
Jamie had absolutely no idea where this was coming from, this flash of boldness and confidence. This definitely wasn't her. But, up until this morning, she really didn't know exactly who she was anymore.
Sure, technically speaking, she was still the same girl that she had been for the past 18 years. And yes, she still was the Jamie Sullivan everyone, and herself, had known all her life. But something had definitely changed. Aside from the gold band that now rested on her finger, something had changed. She felt more.alive. She felt freed, as if she could accomplish anything. She felt as though she had not lived before this day.
She knew that part of it had to do with the fact that her life now came with a deadline; the doctors had said that she would not live another year, at the most. She felt so miserable at times because there was still so many things to do on her list, but she knew that no matter how much she attempted to accomplish in the time she had left, her list would never be complete; there would always be one that could never be finished. * Stop it Jamie; don't do this to yourself; don't even think about it. * Just to even think about it brought her fighting with the tears that were already rising to the surface.
Nevertheless, there was more to her renewed spirit than she was admitting, especially to herself. Landon definitely had a big part of this. Landon, though at times had his flaws like any other mere mortal, was the most amazing man she had ever met in this lifetime or the next. He made her feel so many things and all at once: love, joy, and happiness, just to name a few.
But most of all, he made her feel something that no other guy had ever made her feel before. He made her feel desirable, wanted, as if she were the incarnation of Aphrodite herself.
There had been several times where Jamie had caught Landon just staring at her. Every time she did, he had this look in his eyes, as though he was in constant amazement that she was here, with him. It was something she had never felt before, and although it was a bit unnerving and intimidating at times, it also made her feel stronger, more whole inside, in some unexplainable way.
All of these feelings, as well as her thoughts about tonight and what it held for them, had been lingering and clashing in the back of her mind all throughout the day. She was, to say the very least, on edge about tonight. Now that she was a wife, Landon's wife, and no longer just his girlfriend, would everything in their relationship still be the same, despite all of the new and ongoing changes they were facing?
All in all, Jamie felt that she and Landon might be on two different levels when it came to the intimate part of a relationship. Well, to be truthful, she really didn't know if he was "more experienced" or not. Their conversations never got around to that particular subject. She had just assumed that, due to the fact that Landon always ran with the "fast track" and the "popular" group for all of his life.
But that wasn't the point of the matter. The point was she hoped that this night and what it held for them would strengthen what they already had and bring them closer, and not damage it in any way. She just couldn't bear for that to happen.
The brush of skin against her neck shook Jamie out of her thoughts as she felt Landon's hands slowly unfasten the tiny hook and eye at the top of the dress. Once it was undone, he took the zipper and bit by bit, brought the zipper down, revealing more and more of Jamie's smooth, ivory colored back and the silky slip she was wearing underneath.
Landon's mind could barely hold a thought as he finished drawing the zipper down. * For God's sake, calm down. Jamie won't have to look at you to see how nervous you are, she can probably feel your hands shaking. *
Now Jamie wasn't sure if she was imaging things, but she could almost swear that she felt Landon's hands trembling just a tiny bit. * I make a guy nervous, now there's something to laugh about. If anyone's nervous, it's definitely me. He can probably feel my skin shivering right now*, She thought, as she anxiously chewed on her bottom lip.
Landon rested his hands on her shoulders after unzipping the dress completely. "There you go." He said, talking in hopes of filling the growing silence. "Thank you", Jamie said as she lifted one hand, placing it on top of Landon's. For a few seconds, they mentally gave up trying to fill the deafening silence and just let it grow on them as they just stood there.
Eventually, Jamie pulled herself away from Landon's touch and walked over to the dresser. She pulled out her nightgown and shut the drawer. As she walked toward the connecting bathroom, she paused at the doorframe and looked at Landon. "I'm just going to change really quickly. I won't be long." And with that, she went into the bathroom and quietly closed the door behind her.
* Good, she's out of the room for the moment. Now I need to finish getting the room ready. * Landon looked around and saw the candles already set up all around the room, thanks to Eric coming over this morning and bringing over the supplies he needed to create the perfect night. * Ok, now I need the rose petals. * Landon looked and quickly found them in a bag on one of the nightstands. He picked the bag up and let the ivory and scarlet petals fly down all around the floor, on the dressers and all over the bed. Once that was completed, Landon found the lighter Eric left with the other supplies. He began to light the candles, hoping Jamie wouldn't keep to her promise about being quick.
Meanwhile, in the bathroom, Jamie was taking off the lace and satin dress, being careful not to tear it or get it any dirtier. With no hanger in sight, she simply and neatly folded the dress, laying it on the counter. She then slid out of her white slip and let it pool around her feet on the floor. Reaching for her nightgown, she then slipped it over her head. After folding her slip and placing that on top of the wedding dress, she opened a drawer, pulling out a hairbrush and began to brush her chestnut colored curls in slow, soft strokes.
Once she put the brush back, she turned her gaze to the reflection before her in the mirror. Her hair still held a little curl and fell softly down her back, ending between her shoulder blades. Her cheeks were flushed and hot to the touch, so Jamie turned on the sink and splashed her face with some cool water. * I sure hope I'm not getting sick again. * She picked up the towel hanging on the nearby rack and dried the excess water off her face. When straightening everything out in the bathroom, she knew she was stalling from going back outside. * For goodness sake, Jamie, what are you so afraid of? It's Landon, remember? The boy you love and trust. He wouldn't hurt you if his life depended on it. You've got nothing to be scared of. Just go out there, act normal and let whatever happen, happen. *
Jamie stopped and looked at herself again in the mirror. "Listen to me. My own conscience is smarter than me. Ok, calm down, just go out there and let fate take care of everything else." She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and took a deep, relaxing breath. "Well, here I go". With that, she opened the door. Once she stepped out and took a look around, her jaw dropped and she stood there speechless. * Oh my goodness. *
The room was dark and no lights were on, but the numerous amounts of candles all around lit up the room, reflecting a warm and soft glow. Hundreds of white and crimson rose petals lay on the floor, on top of the furniture, and all over the bed. It was so beautiful; it felt like something that could only be conceived from a dream, a place suspended in time. Landon was on the other side of the room from Jamie, his back turned to her, lighting the last few of the candles.
* Oh my goodness, Landon did all this? I can't believe . wow. * Jamie's thoughts began to stutter as she watched him from across the room. He had removed his jacket and tie, unbuttoned the top buttons of his shirt and rolled up the sleeves. He looked so focused in his work, so inattentive to the rest of the world as he was lighting candles with rapidity and swiftness she had never seen before. His face reminded Jamie of that of a little boy's, working so hard and looking so eager to show his work off. * Like when he was determined to finish the telescope and ready to bring me out to see it. * Jamie just couldn't resist standing there and watching him.
Landon was just about finished lighting the last of the candles when he got that distinct feeling that someone was watching him. He turned around and saw Jamie watching him from the doorway of the bathroom. He couldn't take his eyes off of her. She, was indeed, the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her chestnut-colored locks shined so bright with the flickering light of the candles weaved into every strand. Her blue-green eyes sparkled against the flame's glow. Dressed in a long, white, spaghetti-strapped chemise with knee-high slits cut on both sides that was a perfect combination of seductiveness and innocence, she had leaned her arm against the doorway, with her head resting on the frame and both arms and legs crossed. As he continued to stand there and look at Jamie, Landon began to slowly realize, in the back of his head, that he had been staring. * Quick, think of something else! * He quickly put down the lighter turned around "Hey, how long were you standing there?"
"Not long."
He looked around at the room and his work, and then looked back at her. "Uhh.surprise?"
Jamie smiled. * How cute, he's trying to cover up the fact that he was staring. God, he makes me feel so amazing. * She walked up to him and embraced him. "I'm sorry I ruined your surprise. But, if it's any consolation, I think it's wonderful you did all this. It's amazing and beautiful and .perfect. Thank you."
Landon looked down at her the silliest, yet sweetest, grin. "It's ok, I guess I'll forgive you this time." Jamie smiled and rolled her eyes in response. "Besides, I'm glad you like it. I wanted everything to be perfect tonight."
At the sound of the word tonight, Jamie began to feel all of her uneasiness starting to creep back up on her. * Maybe we should talk before we get into anything. * Jamie began to speak up, "Landon, listen, maybe we sh-"
"Wait, before you say anything, I'm not finished yet. I still have something left to do."
Landon left her where she was, while he walked to the other side of their room to their stereo system. He popped in a CD and pressed play. As the first notes began to drift out of the speakers, Landon walked back to Jamie and held out his hand.
"May I have this dance?"
Jamie felt herself begin to choke up as she watched the scene unfold before her. Momentarily losing her voice to her emotions, all she could do was just hold out her hand for Landon to take hold of. Landon pulled her close, wrapping his arm around her waist, holding her hand close to his chest and slowly began swaying to the music. He bent his head down to whisper in her ear, "Don't say anything just yet. We'll talk later."
Jamie lifted her head up from its resting place on Landon's shoulder and looked up at him. Landon amazed her everyday in one way or another; he always seemed to know what was on her mind. In the back of her mind, thoughts began to shoot up again. Jamie fought with herself to keep those thoughts down. * Not now, just let me have this dance. * As she settled closer to Landon, she listened to the song floating all around and about them.
If I never knew you
If I never felt this love,
I would have no inkling of
How precious life can be
And if I never held you,
I would never have a clue
How at last, I find in you
The missing part of me
In this world so full of hate,
Full of raging lies
I can see the truth so clearly
In your eyes, so bright your eyes
And I'm so grateful to you
I'd have lived my whole life through
Lost forever,
If I never knew you
If I never knew you,
I'd be safe, but half as real
Never knowing how I could feel
A love so strong and true
I'm so grateful to you
I'd have lived my whole life through,
Lost forever if I never knew you
I thought our love would be so beautiful
Somehow, we'd make the whole world right
I never knew that fear and hate could be so strong,
Holding needless words and whispers in your eyes
But still my heart is saying we were right
If I never knew you (There's no moment I'd regret)
If I never knew (since the moment that we met)
I would have no inkling of (if our time has gone too fast)
How precious life could be (I've lived at last)
I thought our love would be so beautiful
Somehow, we'd make the whole world bright
I thought our love would be so beautiful
We'd turn the darkness into light
And still my heart is saying we were right
We were right.
And if I never knew you, (If I never knew you)
I'd have lived my whole life through.
Empty as the sky
Never knowing why,
Lost forever
If I never knew you.
Disclaimer #2: The featured song in this chapter is "If I Never Knew You", by Jon Sedaca and Shanice from the Pocahontas soundtrack. I don't own it, never did, and never will.
Author's note: I am so, so, so, so, so, so terribly sorry about my long delay! Finals and summer school have all taken a toll on me and my writing. Not to mention the construction of FF.net also did not help in posting any sooner. My writer's block is barely thawing out, so this story may not be one of my finest, but I hope it was worth your wait. Thank you all for your super reviews. They mean so much to me. Well, without further delay, on with the story!
Author's note # 2: I'd like to give a big shout-out to Jen, you know who you are, this chapter is for you. Thanx so much!!!
Living Their Dream
Chapter 5
Carefully navigating, so as not to let Jamie's legs hit any walls or chairs, Landon walked up the stairs to the master bedroom, their room, Jamie still cradled in his arms. Once he was inside their room, he gently set her on her feet in front of him and just looked at her.
Jamie normally would have felt shy and bashful with someone's constant gaze on her, but with Landon, it was different. When he looked at her, despite what he said, the look in his eyes made her feel beautiful and loved. *I mean, don't get me wrong. I love it when Landon tells me he loves me. But, anyone could say to someone that they were beautiful and that they loved them, but you couldn't forge a look, especially the look that's in Landon's eyes. He really does love me. * The eyes really are windows to the soul and they showed everything she loved about Landon.
Landon cupped her cheek and moved his hand up until it was completely immersed in her hair. Jamie's arms were still linked around his neck and in a moment's notice, she decided to surprise him by taking the initiative and pulled his face down until his lips were pressed against hers.
Landon was a bit shocked by her impulsive move, but he certainly wasn't complaining. He let himself sink into the kiss, letting his hand fall down to rest on her shoulder, then slide down her arm, feeling the cool, snow- colored satin underneath his hand, until it finally settled on her tiny waist, pulling her to him as much as he could.
The kiss grew more and more intense with each second that passed by. It was a kiss like neither had experienced before. All their love and growing passion was poured into that kiss. Jamie's fingertips slowly toyed with the strands of hair at the nape of Landon's neck, allowing herself to remember this moment and to forever commit to memory the feeling of her husband's short, silky locks in between her fingers.
Jamie was first to lean back out of their kiss, taking a deep breath of needed air before looking up at Landon. His chest heaved heavily against hers, indicating his own exhaustion and he smiled a sly smile at her, as if he knew the ulterior motive she carried.
"I was right. You are trying to seduce me."
Jamie laughed and crossed her wrists behind his neck, locking him into her embrace. "Wouldn't you like to know?" She whispered back at him, her chocolate-colored eyes bubbling with playfulness. Landon looked at her and began to wonder where they were going from here.
Tonight was their wedding night; he already knew that. He wasn't a complete idiot. But, he couldn't help wondering if this was the right time. He lifted her left arm off of his shoulder and, as gently as he could, clasped her hand.
Her hand: so smooth, so small, and so damn thin. He rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand. Landon could feel all the tiny bones in the back of her hand. It saddened him inside to see her this way. The leukemia had taken so much out of her already, her strength in particular.
Well, that was one of the reasons why he was that much more scared tonight.
There was so many emotions running though his system and rushing to his head and out of everything he was feeling, he just wanted everything to be perfect tonight. No matter what happened, Landon wanted Jamie to have the perfect night. He wasn't going to rush anything, just let it happen. Life had already taken so much from her; he couldn't give her much, but he was determined to give her this one night.
"Landon? Landon, are you still there?"
Landon looked down to connect with Jamie's concerned gaze. "Landon? Are you ok? You looked like you were a million miles away." Looking at her face, so full of concern for him, he just simply smiled at her. * Geez, I just can't stop smiling at that face, or kissing that face for that matter. *, He thought as he settled his lips over hers again and swept her away in another soft, yet passionate, kiss.
When he pulled himself away from her rosy little lips, Landon cradled her face in between his hands and began to caress her soft cheeks. "I'm great." Resting her forehead against his, Jamie gave him in return that infamous smile of hers; the smile that seemed to light up a room whenever she was in it, the smile that made Landon want to be that much of a better person, just for her. Jamie's smile had a purifying feeling to it, like you were a better person, regardless of who you really were, when you were with her.
"Well, I think it's time for me to get out of this dress and change into something a little bit.lighter." Turning away from Landon, Jamie swept her long, thick mane of hair off her neck to expose the neatly concealed zipper trailing down the back of the dress. Jamie twisted her head around so she could still see him. "Would you mind undoing the zipper for me? I can't reach behind me very well."
Jamie had absolutely no idea where this was coming from, this flash of boldness and confidence. This definitely wasn't her. But, up until this morning, she really didn't know exactly who she was anymore.
Sure, technically speaking, she was still the same girl that she had been for the past 18 years. And yes, she still was the Jamie Sullivan everyone, and herself, had known all her life. But something had definitely changed. Aside from the gold band that now rested on her finger, something had changed. She felt more.alive. She felt freed, as if she could accomplish anything. She felt as though she had not lived before this day.
She knew that part of it had to do with the fact that her life now came with a deadline; the doctors had said that she would not live another year, at the most. She felt so miserable at times because there was still so many things to do on her list, but she knew that no matter how much she attempted to accomplish in the time she had left, her list would never be complete; there would always be one that could never be finished. * Stop it Jamie; don't do this to yourself; don't even think about it. * Just to even think about it brought her fighting with the tears that were already rising to the surface.
Nevertheless, there was more to her renewed spirit than she was admitting, especially to herself. Landon definitely had a big part of this. Landon, though at times had his flaws like any other mere mortal, was the most amazing man she had ever met in this lifetime or the next. He made her feel so many things and all at once: love, joy, and happiness, just to name a few.
But most of all, he made her feel something that no other guy had ever made her feel before. He made her feel desirable, wanted, as if she were the incarnation of Aphrodite herself.
There had been several times where Jamie had caught Landon just staring at her. Every time she did, he had this look in his eyes, as though he was in constant amazement that she was here, with him. It was something she had never felt before, and although it was a bit unnerving and intimidating at times, it also made her feel stronger, more whole inside, in some unexplainable way.
All of these feelings, as well as her thoughts about tonight and what it held for them, had been lingering and clashing in the back of her mind all throughout the day. She was, to say the very least, on edge about tonight. Now that she was a wife, Landon's wife, and no longer just his girlfriend, would everything in their relationship still be the same, despite all of the new and ongoing changes they were facing?
All in all, Jamie felt that she and Landon might be on two different levels when it came to the intimate part of a relationship. Well, to be truthful, she really didn't know if he was "more experienced" or not. Their conversations never got around to that particular subject. She had just assumed that, due to the fact that Landon always ran with the "fast track" and the "popular" group for all of his life.
But that wasn't the point of the matter. The point was she hoped that this night and what it held for them would strengthen what they already had and bring them closer, and not damage it in any way. She just couldn't bear for that to happen.
The brush of skin against her neck shook Jamie out of her thoughts as she felt Landon's hands slowly unfasten the tiny hook and eye at the top of the dress. Once it was undone, he took the zipper and bit by bit, brought the zipper down, revealing more and more of Jamie's smooth, ivory colored back and the silky slip she was wearing underneath.
Landon's mind could barely hold a thought as he finished drawing the zipper down. * For God's sake, calm down. Jamie won't have to look at you to see how nervous you are, she can probably feel your hands shaking. *
Now Jamie wasn't sure if she was imaging things, but she could almost swear that she felt Landon's hands trembling just a tiny bit. * I make a guy nervous, now there's something to laugh about. If anyone's nervous, it's definitely me. He can probably feel my skin shivering right now*, She thought, as she anxiously chewed on her bottom lip.
Landon rested his hands on her shoulders after unzipping the dress completely. "There you go." He said, talking in hopes of filling the growing silence. "Thank you", Jamie said as she lifted one hand, placing it on top of Landon's. For a few seconds, they mentally gave up trying to fill the deafening silence and just let it grow on them as they just stood there.
Eventually, Jamie pulled herself away from Landon's touch and walked over to the dresser. She pulled out her nightgown and shut the drawer. As she walked toward the connecting bathroom, she paused at the doorframe and looked at Landon. "I'm just going to change really quickly. I won't be long." And with that, she went into the bathroom and quietly closed the door behind her.
* Good, she's out of the room for the moment. Now I need to finish getting the room ready. * Landon looked around and saw the candles already set up all around the room, thanks to Eric coming over this morning and bringing over the supplies he needed to create the perfect night. * Ok, now I need the rose petals. * Landon looked and quickly found them in a bag on one of the nightstands. He picked the bag up and let the ivory and scarlet petals fly down all around the floor, on the dressers and all over the bed. Once that was completed, Landon found the lighter Eric left with the other supplies. He began to light the candles, hoping Jamie wouldn't keep to her promise about being quick.
Meanwhile, in the bathroom, Jamie was taking off the lace and satin dress, being careful not to tear it or get it any dirtier. With no hanger in sight, she simply and neatly folded the dress, laying it on the counter. She then slid out of her white slip and let it pool around her feet on the floor. Reaching for her nightgown, she then slipped it over her head. After folding her slip and placing that on top of the wedding dress, she opened a drawer, pulling out a hairbrush and began to brush her chestnut colored curls in slow, soft strokes.
Once she put the brush back, she turned her gaze to the reflection before her in the mirror. Her hair still held a little curl and fell softly down her back, ending between her shoulder blades. Her cheeks were flushed and hot to the touch, so Jamie turned on the sink and splashed her face with some cool water. * I sure hope I'm not getting sick again. * She picked up the towel hanging on the nearby rack and dried the excess water off her face. When straightening everything out in the bathroom, she knew she was stalling from going back outside. * For goodness sake, Jamie, what are you so afraid of? It's Landon, remember? The boy you love and trust. He wouldn't hurt you if his life depended on it. You've got nothing to be scared of. Just go out there, act normal and let whatever happen, happen. *
Jamie stopped and looked at herself again in the mirror. "Listen to me. My own conscience is smarter than me. Ok, calm down, just go out there and let fate take care of everything else." She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and took a deep, relaxing breath. "Well, here I go". With that, she opened the door. Once she stepped out and took a look around, her jaw dropped and she stood there speechless. * Oh my goodness. *
The room was dark and no lights were on, but the numerous amounts of candles all around lit up the room, reflecting a warm and soft glow. Hundreds of white and crimson rose petals lay on the floor, on top of the furniture, and all over the bed. It was so beautiful; it felt like something that could only be conceived from a dream, a place suspended in time. Landon was on the other side of the room from Jamie, his back turned to her, lighting the last few of the candles.
* Oh my goodness, Landon did all this? I can't believe . wow. * Jamie's thoughts began to stutter as she watched him from across the room. He had removed his jacket and tie, unbuttoned the top buttons of his shirt and rolled up the sleeves. He looked so focused in his work, so inattentive to the rest of the world as he was lighting candles with rapidity and swiftness she had never seen before. His face reminded Jamie of that of a little boy's, working so hard and looking so eager to show his work off. * Like when he was determined to finish the telescope and ready to bring me out to see it. * Jamie just couldn't resist standing there and watching him.
Landon was just about finished lighting the last of the candles when he got that distinct feeling that someone was watching him. He turned around and saw Jamie watching him from the doorway of the bathroom. He couldn't take his eyes off of her. She, was indeed, the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her chestnut-colored locks shined so bright with the flickering light of the candles weaved into every strand. Her blue-green eyes sparkled against the flame's glow. Dressed in a long, white, spaghetti-strapped chemise with knee-high slits cut on both sides that was a perfect combination of seductiveness and innocence, she had leaned her arm against the doorway, with her head resting on the frame and both arms and legs crossed. As he continued to stand there and look at Jamie, Landon began to slowly realize, in the back of his head, that he had been staring. * Quick, think of something else! * He quickly put down the lighter turned around "Hey, how long were you standing there?"
"Not long."
He looked around at the room and his work, and then looked back at her. "Uhh.surprise?"
Jamie smiled. * How cute, he's trying to cover up the fact that he was staring. God, he makes me feel so amazing. * She walked up to him and embraced him. "I'm sorry I ruined your surprise. But, if it's any consolation, I think it's wonderful you did all this. It's amazing and beautiful and .perfect. Thank you."
Landon looked down at her the silliest, yet sweetest, grin. "It's ok, I guess I'll forgive you this time." Jamie smiled and rolled her eyes in response. "Besides, I'm glad you like it. I wanted everything to be perfect tonight."
At the sound of the word tonight, Jamie began to feel all of her uneasiness starting to creep back up on her. * Maybe we should talk before we get into anything. * Jamie began to speak up, "Landon, listen, maybe we sh-"
"Wait, before you say anything, I'm not finished yet. I still have something left to do."
Landon left her where she was, while he walked to the other side of their room to their stereo system. He popped in a CD and pressed play. As the first notes began to drift out of the speakers, Landon walked back to Jamie and held out his hand.
"May I have this dance?"
Jamie felt herself begin to choke up as she watched the scene unfold before her. Momentarily losing her voice to her emotions, all she could do was just hold out her hand for Landon to take hold of. Landon pulled her close, wrapping his arm around her waist, holding her hand close to his chest and slowly began swaying to the music. He bent his head down to whisper in her ear, "Don't say anything just yet. We'll talk later."
Jamie lifted her head up from its resting place on Landon's shoulder and looked up at him. Landon amazed her everyday in one way or another; he always seemed to know what was on her mind. In the back of her mind, thoughts began to shoot up again. Jamie fought with herself to keep those thoughts down. * Not now, just let me have this dance. * As she settled closer to Landon, she listened to the song floating all around and about them.
If I never knew you
If I never felt this love,
I would have no inkling of
How precious life can be
And if I never held you,
I would never have a clue
How at last, I find in you
The missing part of me
In this world so full of hate,
Full of raging lies
I can see the truth so clearly
In your eyes, so bright your eyes
And I'm so grateful to you
I'd have lived my whole life through
Lost forever,
If I never knew you
If I never knew you,
I'd be safe, but half as real
Never knowing how I could feel
A love so strong and true
I'm so grateful to you
I'd have lived my whole life through,
Lost forever if I never knew you
I thought our love would be so beautiful
Somehow, we'd make the whole world right
I never knew that fear and hate could be so strong,
Holding needless words and whispers in your eyes
But still my heart is saying we were right
If I never knew you (There's no moment I'd regret)
If I never knew (since the moment that we met)
I would have no inkling of (if our time has gone too fast)
How precious life could be (I've lived at last)
I thought our love would be so beautiful
Somehow, we'd make the whole world bright
I thought our love would be so beautiful
We'd turn the darkness into light
And still my heart is saying we were right
We were right.
And if I never knew you, (If I never knew you)
I'd have lived my whole life through.
Empty as the sky
Never knowing why,
Lost forever
If I never knew you.