Disclaimer- I do not own Gundam Wing or anything related to any of the Gundam series whatsoever, nor do I own the song 'One'. Gundam Wing is owned by Sunrise Inc. and 'One' is owned by Metallica. I am merely using both without intention of profit for the purpose of a bit of literary fun. Please enjoy the story.
One
By Gabriel Bell
Pain. That's all I know. I can't seem to recall how I got this way, but somewhere deep down in this nightmare of agony I know. At least I hope this is a nightmare. How could it not be, a haze of painful obscuring of vision and hearing. I scream, but hear nothing and the air tears at my throat, as if my voice was something else I have lost.
I can't remember anything
Can't tell if this is truth or dream
Deep down inside I feel to scream
Terrible silence stops me
I try opening my eyes, but nothing happens, I can't see anything. I try again and the same thing happens, nothing. Slowly the memories comeback to me. My mobile suit, the gundam, the day I should have died. I lift my arms to tear the bandages from my eyes and realize that I can't feel them. They aren't numb like I have painkillers coursing through them, but like…like they aren't there!
Now that the war is through with me
I'm waking up I cannot see
Not that there's not much left of me
Nothing is real but pain now
I have laid here for I don't know how long, reflecting on what I can through the pain. The pain, it dominates my every thought, my every mood, it dominates my life. Dammit! Why did I have to live? This isn't life…I am simply some bastard that death forgot. So now I pray. I pray to God to help me end myself. Just let my body shut down, like a mobile suit. All I want now is to die…
Hold my breath as I wish for death
Please God wake me
It's almost like being in my mother's belly again, except I don't think it was this painful. Every day and night I feel those tubes pumping shit into me. Whatever it is that they put in those tubes to feed me, it doesn't do anything to settle my stomach. Hunger, pain, death, the only thought that can ever override those is shame. I failed. I failed Oz, I failed my commanders, and I failed myself. Ever since the day when I faced that gundam in my Leo, I have felt like a failure. Whatever I did, is it worth this punishment?
Back in the womb it's much too real
In pumps life that I must feel
Can't look forward to reveal
Look to the time when I lived
Fed through the tube that sticks in me
Just like a wartime novelty
Tied to machines that make me be
Cut this life off from me
One more time I wish for death to come take me, and one more time the Reaper ignores me. How have I ever wronged him? Maybe by making too much work for him, or maybe it is that I have never done anything for him…
Hold my breath as I wish for death
Please God wake me
Now my world is gone I'm just one
God help me
Hold my breath as I wish for death
Oh please God help me
God…I am beginning to remember…I am remembering that day on the field of battle. It seems like centuries ago, but I know it probably isn't more than a couple of weeks. If I knew then what I know now, that the limits of my sight and hearing would me limited to remembering that battle, then maybe I wouldn't have gotten into my mobile suit.
Darkness imprisoning me
All that I see
Absolute horror
I cannot live
I cannot die
Trapped in myself
Body my holding cell
That gundam…Gundam Number Four if I remember right…the one with those two blades, it was the one that took me down. There was a battle at a spaceport, I don't remember which one, it isn't important now. I can see myself firing at him and the two other gundams there, the shots from my beam rifle either not hitting or having any effect.
Landmine has taken my sight
Taken my speech
Taken my hearing
Taken my arms
Taken my legs
Taken my soul
Left me with life in hell
As I rushed toward him, I fired again and again. I remember his blades slicing through my cockpit, causing an explosion of sparks around me. The last thing I ever heard was that pilot's voice over my radio before it went dead. The two words he spoke will haunt me for the rest of my life…I wonder just how he would feel if he knew he caused some to suffer with the fate that I have…But those words, something about them, the way he said them tells me that he would help me end my pitiful existence, if he only knew. Over and over I hear them…
"I'm sorry…" Then silence…forever…