A/N: Okay, so I know I promised that this chapter would be up Friday
night/Saturday morning, but what I didn't count on was FF.net being such a
BITCH (Botticelli than realises ff.net control her account and looks very
apologetic 'you know I meant that in the nicest possible way, right?') and
cutting of account access until Sunday, then not letting me actually sign
in till today, GRRRRR!!! To say I am not impressed is an understatement of
rather large proportions! Never the less, here is the next chapter from
Legolas' point of view. And to make up for the fact that it's pretty much
all doom and gloom to begin with, and the lateness of it all, I promise
there's going to be some good old Aragorn/Legolas mush in this
chapter...you just have to be patient to get to it!!! I told you it would
get to it eventually, and so here it is :) It's another nice long update as
well, the longest yet actually, to make up for the shortness of the last
post, and the overdue-ness of this one, good little me!!! Got inspired by
the lack of love on St.Vals, so got them to be mushy for me. **mental note:
I *SO* need to get out more!!!!** LOL!
I must warn you that I'm not entirely happy with chapter, in fact, I am nowhere near happy with it at all, well, its mainly the beginning of the chapter that I have the problems with, I like the near endish bits - you'll see when you get there. All I can do is just hope, and pray to the Valar that you guys like it more than I do. I have some hope that you will like it, as Little Moo gave me her glowing approval today when I showed it to her and demanded that I sign it **odd thing that she is**.though I hope she has a cold as she sniffling as she read it - no indication what-so-ever to where this is leading! Getting this one written was a real struggle for some unknown reason.well, not all that unknown. I know where I was, and I know where I wanted to get to, I just needed to write the bit to get there. And the beginning of this chapter was really getting to that place where I wanted to be. Which sadly was not easy. I have done my best in the time that I have had to make it as good as I think I can get it..which ain't fantastic I'll admit, but I hope the latter part of this chapter can make up for it all. I blame it all on the fact that I've been reading RPS lately on the net and its corrupted my brain..okay, I know I was VERY corrupted before hand (I'm slash writer, lol!) but I blame it on the RPS for distracting my creative thoughts. Bad RPS (you know I loves it really!)
Once again THANK YOU!!!!!!! To all those kind and wonderful people who reviewed me before ff.net cut off the ability to review, and those who have been back and reviewed since! As always it's the lovely and positive feedback I get from you guys that keeps me going and writing this! And of course, an extra big thanks as always to those who review me chapter after chapter. You guys are the greatest!!!!
Estel - Sweetie, you know I love you!!! Bless, I could never hate you! I don't mean to torture you, it just kind of happens.I promise I'll make up for it soon! Though I can't promise not to do it again as I think you're going to kill me for how I end this chapter **looks sheepish, then sends round the Elvish concert for Estel to make up for it, on the proviso that she doesn't die** If you die, I'm taking my singing elves back! LOL. Have fun with them, I'm sure you will ;) Ohh, and I will go and read and review your story asap, promise! Take care darling. Love and huggles.
MoroTheWolfGod - No, I haven't got a Thranduil appearance planned...what gave you that idea out of interest, it sounds intriguing.
EtheLeA - I love you too sweetie!!!!! Thankies **blushes** Wow, I'm sweet. Yeh, I like my name to, my reasons for picking it are in my profile =) I was inspired! I'm SO glad that you like my fic! I adore yours too! Though my only complaint is that it is updated no where near enough as it should be!!!! I demand that there should be far more of it!!!! I must apologise for where I left my fic, and I will apologise in advance for doing it again in this chapter, though you are hardly one to talk about cliff- hangers..shall I mention a certain one of yours involving a certain elf and several, well, *all* of the Nazgul!?!?! :P LOL at you fainting..i'm highly shocked that I could cause such an effect, though muchly complimented that I have managed to do so. I loved the whole image of them there together, I'm glad that I actually managed to convey it to everyone with out making a tits-up of it. Shauna and you??? That's not fair!!! How can you two gang up on me??? **tries to look innocent** who will finish the fic if you smite me down??? Though I will start bestowing the same threat upon you if you don't update soon, and I will get back up as well :P Well, now that ive got that bout of childish out of my system..i agree, A/L flags need to be made, and handed out to all A/L fans over the world so we can show our support..I think we should turn up the RofK premiere en-masse with then **laughs evilly as possibilities flood her mind** Hmmm, well. Hope you like this update and it makes up for the shortness of the last one. I have really gone all out and tried to make this one as sweet and mushy as I could. Take care hunny! Love and Huggles. Botticelli Angel.
Lanier - ask and yee shall receive ;)
Jessica - wow. I am very shocked and extremely flattered to receive such an urgent and excited review from you. I will inform you that I will be writing more LotR fics, I have some more ideas, but I want to finish this one before I start another one. I really can't keep two LotR projects going at once as I know one will get left and neglected. But, as I said, I have more ideas, and I do have two other pieces up on here. One is called Arguments - which is a twisted piece of humour and the second is called Guilt, which is about Pippin feeling guilty after what happened in Moria, you can get to both from my profile if you want to read them, but yes, there will be more. I promise. Thank you for your lovely compliments, I can only feel humbled by the fact that you think so highly of my ability to write. Take care.
Shauna - please don't die. Again. That would be bad, very bad. I hope you didn't scare the neighbours with the screaming at the fic. I think now would be a good time to give them another 5 minute warning as I have a feeling you might be screaming again soon. Please don't hurt me! I hear you and Ethe are ganging up on me, which I think is rather unfair, as she is just as bad as I am!!! I will not be the only one receiving a smiting, if I go down, I'm taking you two with me **grins wickedly**
Dani - thankies muchly for the cookies. Yum yum.
Skywise - oh no, not another one!!! Everyone seems to be fainting and dying on me! I'm not sure if this is a good or a bad thing?!?!? I am very sorry to keep leaving you hanging, but it will all be worth it, you shall see. I promise! Thankies muchly for the kind compliments. It's very scary being up in their heads, but I think I'll be okay as long as I don't have to go picking Gimilis brains, I really wouldn't look good with a ginger beard ;) Love and Huggles.
Earen - **dutifully goes and collects mop and bucket and collects up melted Earen** Thankies muchly for the compliments as always. I like Aragorn PoV, I think I can do him more effectively than Legolas, don't know why though..maybe its because I'm not an elf..LOL! Though, I have gone against both of us and done this one as Legolas, though when you read it I am sure you will forgive me, and hopefully melt all over again. Thankies for the praise singing to the Valar, I feel so unworthy!!!! Love and Huggles.
Golden Rose - will read and review asap =)
Little Moo - I know I was naughty and cut Aragorn short, but you of all people should know that I have good reason to, and should not be baying for my blood..well, after today I am actually a bit worried about where my bloods going to be tomorrow morning. Though I think that Wednesday and Thursday will more than make up for it. A whole day where I can Liverrrrrrr and Och as much as I want!!! **giggles with glee** I also understand about those fics that I haven't written **cough cough** I am very happy that you like this as much as you like them, am most happy now. Especially after you reaction to this chapter today, apart from the wanting to kill me part, that was bad :S I am very glad that I have managed to convert you. I'm making a habit of this aren't I???? **grins** Yes, I am *your* mummy moo, and no body else's. Promise. Hehehehehe. Now you're gonna have to wait till my next update for a new dose of this, unless you're willing to pay for some more again ;) **huggles to *my* baby moo** Mummy moo.
S_Star - I told you I was evil! Am I forgiven seeing as I have been kind and have been updating this and reviewing your fic??? Pleeeeaaaaseee! **does puppy dog eyes** At least let me have my £200 then??? =) thankies for the review as always. Take care. Huggles.
Shadow Dreamer - oh my, am most definitely blushing now. You are way to kind to me, way to kind! I am so honoured and proud to know that I could brighten up your day after having to sit through 3 tests - I pity you, I really do as I know the feeling! I feel like the puppet -master toying with your emotions, from near tears to squealing! Here is the update I promised. Thankies for the lovely choccies, I love the box!!! =) Thankies for the kind review, it brightened up my biology-ridden day. Huggles.
Violet Eyes - Thankies muchly for the kind words. All will be revealed soon enough, and as for the cliffhangers..they're not my fault honest, they just kinda happen! **tries to look innocent** I look forward to your reviews!!! =)
Wilde Phyre - Oh, I don't know if I would say that I am as evil as you are! At least I have Aragorn realising his love for Legolas, who I do believe isn't in a wonderful situation in your fic either last time I checked. I think you are just as evil as I am, if not more so! I demand that you start to be nice to the poor little elf, he can't take much more after all I'm putting him through. Oh, and hit Aragorn over the head to make him realised how much he wants to jump Legolas and drop Arwen out a high window.**snikers at images now running through her head** Take care, thankies for the review. I will do another update asap. Huggles.
Thankies to every one else who reviewed. Love you all, every review I get inspires me to keep going and brightens up my sad little days. Please continue to REVIEW!!!!!
Now, realising how many authors' notes I have actually written, I will get on with the fic.....
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Chapter 9
(Legolas PoV)
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As I sat cradled in Aragorns arms I could feel the dark shadow of Saruman passing over my soul, chilling my entire being. Even the feeling of being encased in Aragorns arms was not enough to rid me of the pain I felt, so intense that it was almost blinding. It would not be long now. I knew I should not be thinking of death, that by waiting for it to come and claim me I was inviting it to do so. But I had not lied to Aragorn, I could not lie to him, even in this, a matter of so much pride to me, like that of all Elves. So much of what we do and say is based upon pride, and in confessing my pain and my lack of hope, I was stripping myself of mine. But it didn't matter to me. Not anymore. I could feel myself nearing the halls of Mandos with every laboured breath that I struggled to take. And so close to death, I could not lie to the rugged man before me, I feared that even if I had the strength to do so he would see through my words. And more importantly, I did not want to lie to him. I could not enter the Halls of Mandos knowing my last words to him were untrue and unpure. There were many things unsaid between us, but I could not bring myself to taint those words that did come to pass.
I loved him with all my being, more than I had loved any other. I owed him the truth, no matter how painful it may be.
When did I realise I loved him? That awful moment when he pushed the arrow through the barely broken skin of my back I knew, for I could not curse his name for the pain being inflicted upon me. As he did it I knew that I would have no other putting me through such a thing and it was not because he is well renowned healer. It was because I trusted him with my life, because I would have gone to the ends of middle earth for him, to be with him.
I was in love with him.
I had to tell him.
I refused to die without letting him know how deeply I felt. A small part of me knew it was cruel to place such a confession on his shoulders, but my heart sang out his name and I could not hold it within me any longer. I could not die without telling him how I felt. I could not enter that final resting without knowing if he felt the same. Of course, I was under no delusions that he would suddenly confess his love for me, after all, he has pledged his life and his love to the Evenstar, one whom I could never compete with, not even in my wildest dreams. Still, there was the smallest sliver of hope that he would not turn me away, that he would not laugh at my confession, and I *needed* to know. Whatever his answer, I would then be free to go to the Halls to meet the fallen warriors of the battle of the Deep to be healed in spirit, from the loss of my love. And never could my heart and spirit heal without an answer.
As he held me tight and told me he would not let me pass his voice was strong, but his deep grey eyes were full of the emotion that gave me the hope I needed to go on. The feel of his hand upon my face brushing away my hair and the gentle tears that stained his faced and welled in his eyes distracted me for a long moment. I simply sat and stared at his face, studying everything about it, every line and mark of dirt upon it.
"Legolas?" He asked me, his voice soft and grey eyes full of concern. I realised I must have been lost in my study of him for longer than I intended, but watching him eased my pain. My thoughts of him eased my pain. He eased my pain.
"~Yes?~"
"~Promise me that you shall fight Legolas.~"
"~Fight?~" I wished I had been paying attention to what he had been saying, but he seemed not to mind.
"~Promise me that you shall fight the evil Saruman has unleashed upon you. I can not lose you.~" His voice was pained as he gently laid me back down upon the bed and took my hand in his once more.
I thought about what he said, but I did not answer. I could not promise that I would fight it. If he loved me then perhaps I could find the strength to fight the poison that weaved itself through my body, but if he did not - which I was sure was the case - then I would not be able to go on, if the poison did not consume me, then grief would.
"Promise me Legolas!" He demanded firmly in his native tongue, the tears still in his eyes and painting their way down his face.
"~You fear for me whether I fight or otherwise Aragorn. It will claim me.~" I told him as gently as I could.
"~It will not claim you if you do not let it!~"
"~If you do not fear it will claim me, why do you shed tears for me?~"
"~Because simply the thought of losing you is more than I can bear. Promise me Legolas, promise me that I do not need fear for you.~"
I could promise him nothing, so instead I began my confession.
"~When I thought you were dead, on the journey here after the warg attack. I thought that I might die of grief.~"
"Legolas?" His voice was barely more than a whisper, but I could read nothing in his eyes except the tears that still fell from them.
I continued, for I knew that if I stopped now I would not be able to gather the strength to do this again. "~For the prospect of life without you I could not bear.~"
"~What are you saying Legolas?~" Was that hope I saw in his eyes? Once again I had to ignore it, I had to finish this, I had to tell him.
"~Then when you rode into the deep alive.I thought that my grief had finally consumed me, that I was suffering my dying vision. When I knew that it was real.~" I took a shaky breath. "~I have not felt such joy, such relief in many centuries. To know that you lived and breathed still.~"
He pressed my hand to his lips again. "~Then grant me that same honour Legolas. Hold on, do not fade. For your loss, and the grief it would bring would destroy me. Of that I am sure. Allow me the joy of knowing that you live and breathe also, by *my* side.~"
"~It is an honour I would like to grant you Aragorn, but I fear that it is beyond even my power to decide.~
"~Do not fade Legolas, do not give up. There is hope yet. I need you to survive, I need you.~" He trailed off realising what he was saying, contemplating how to continue. So I decided for him.
"~Aragorn.~" I sighed his name, lifting my free hand to stroke his cheek. "~I fear that I shall not survive to see another rise of the sun, and I can not pass to the Halls of Mandos without telling you.~"
"~I fear there is something I must confess to you also Legolas.~"
"~Aragorn.I love you.~" My voice was soft and apprehensive as I waited for his response, I knew that I had cut him off but if I had waited another moment I fear I never would have let words pass from my lips."
Aragorn stared at me for what seemed like an eternity, my hope fading with each second he was silent. Eventually he asked. "~What?~"
"~I love you.~"
Aragorn moved to say something, but I cut him off in fear of the rejection that I felt was to come from his lips.
"~Please, do not say anything Aragorn. I know that your heart and love is bound to Arwen and I am no comparison to the Evenstar of Rivendell. But I have loved you since the day that I met you at the council. Your reputation had me entranced, but the sight of you, the sound of you, it captured me, and the quest made me love you all the more. I could not, I cannot live without you. I fear I have not been able to since that day and I could not pass without telling you. Even though I know that I shall never have your heart in the way that you have mine.~"
I shut my eyes, unable to face whatever expression Aragorn held as the result of my heart breaking confession. So I was totally unprepared for Aragorns lips gently brushing against mine in a soft and tentative kiss, ridding my entire body of pain for that glorious moment where his lips were pressed against my own. My eyes shot open faster than an arrow loosed from my bow as Aragorns lips left my own and were replaced by one of his calloused fingertips bidding me not to speak.
"~Hush Legolas my love.~"
Did he just call me my love, or is the return of my pain making me delusional?
I obeyed none the less.
"~You are the keeper of my heart Legolas. You have stolen my love and it shall be forever yours, for I could not think or dream of being with another. I could not last another day without you by my side. I would have said this long ago if I had not feared that you would not return my love.~"
For a long time I lay there contemplating his words and praying to the Valar that this was true, that this was not some dream or hallucination from Sarumans poison.
"Legolas?" He asked me tentatively after giving me sufficient time.
A single tear fell from my eye and traced its way down my cheek. As I spoke he gently wiped the tear away with his thumb as he caressed my cheek.
"~I feared that you would not feel so, that you would reject me and turn me away. Laugh at me for thinking that you could ever want my love.~"
"~Never.~" He said in a breath. "~Never could I reject you. Never could I laugh at your love for it has been what I have wanted, needed, for longer than I even knew. It has been what I have always needed.~" He paused. "~*You* have been what I have always needed.~"
Aragorn leant down to me again and pressed his lips to mine once more, and this time I was more prepared for his kiss. I smiled against his lips before allowing him to kiss me properly. I had finally got what I wanted, what I needed. Aragorn was thoroughly kissing away my pain.
As he pulled away to allow me to draw much needed breath, the pain came crashing down upon me again unlike any thing I had ever felt and his name fell from my lips as I slipped into blackness.
"Estel."
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Tbc..
A/n: I could not be more evil if I tried could I???? I know you guys are going to try and kill me for this cliff-hanger, but the A/L mush has to make up for some of it..right??? Well, I hope it does, as I don't want you all attacking me like Little Moo did today. I'm still v.scared of what she's going to do to me if I don't put another update soon. Which I will, I promise!! And as I told her today, I reckon that this could be two or three more chapters away from completion =) Though I am not going to tell you what happens to Legolas, you just have to wait and see! Except of course Little Moo, but even she doesn't know about the little Ace I'm keeping up my sleeve **laughs evilly to self**
On a completely different note, YAY FOR ELVES MUSIC!!!! Sorry listening to the Two Towers soundtrack and getting rather excited at the bit of music where the elves arrive at Helms Deep.**slowly becomes comatose at the thought of Haldir in that shiny armour** As another side note, Haldir is NOT dead, he's just away on a dirty weekend with Boromir, who is also NOT dead..yes, I am in denial.
Botticelli Angel
I must warn you that I'm not entirely happy with chapter, in fact, I am nowhere near happy with it at all, well, its mainly the beginning of the chapter that I have the problems with, I like the near endish bits - you'll see when you get there. All I can do is just hope, and pray to the Valar that you guys like it more than I do. I have some hope that you will like it, as Little Moo gave me her glowing approval today when I showed it to her and demanded that I sign it **odd thing that she is**.though I hope she has a cold as she sniffling as she read it - no indication what-so-ever to where this is leading! Getting this one written was a real struggle for some unknown reason.well, not all that unknown. I know where I was, and I know where I wanted to get to, I just needed to write the bit to get there. And the beginning of this chapter was really getting to that place where I wanted to be. Which sadly was not easy. I have done my best in the time that I have had to make it as good as I think I can get it..which ain't fantastic I'll admit, but I hope the latter part of this chapter can make up for it all. I blame it all on the fact that I've been reading RPS lately on the net and its corrupted my brain..okay, I know I was VERY corrupted before hand (I'm slash writer, lol!) but I blame it on the RPS for distracting my creative thoughts. Bad RPS (you know I loves it really!)
Once again THANK YOU!!!!!!! To all those kind and wonderful people who reviewed me before ff.net cut off the ability to review, and those who have been back and reviewed since! As always it's the lovely and positive feedback I get from you guys that keeps me going and writing this! And of course, an extra big thanks as always to those who review me chapter after chapter. You guys are the greatest!!!!
Estel - Sweetie, you know I love you!!! Bless, I could never hate you! I don't mean to torture you, it just kind of happens.I promise I'll make up for it soon! Though I can't promise not to do it again as I think you're going to kill me for how I end this chapter **looks sheepish, then sends round the Elvish concert for Estel to make up for it, on the proviso that she doesn't die** If you die, I'm taking my singing elves back! LOL. Have fun with them, I'm sure you will ;) Ohh, and I will go and read and review your story asap, promise! Take care darling. Love and huggles.
MoroTheWolfGod - No, I haven't got a Thranduil appearance planned...what gave you that idea out of interest, it sounds intriguing.
EtheLeA - I love you too sweetie!!!!! Thankies **blushes** Wow, I'm sweet. Yeh, I like my name to, my reasons for picking it are in my profile =) I was inspired! I'm SO glad that you like my fic! I adore yours too! Though my only complaint is that it is updated no where near enough as it should be!!!! I demand that there should be far more of it!!!! I must apologise for where I left my fic, and I will apologise in advance for doing it again in this chapter, though you are hardly one to talk about cliff- hangers..shall I mention a certain one of yours involving a certain elf and several, well, *all* of the Nazgul!?!?! :P LOL at you fainting..i'm highly shocked that I could cause such an effect, though muchly complimented that I have managed to do so. I loved the whole image of them there together, I'm glad that I actually managed to convey it to everyone with out making a tits-up of it. Shauna and you??? That's not fair!!! How can you two gang up on me??? **tries to look innocent** who will finish the fic if you smite me down??? Though I will start bestowing the same threat upon you if you don't update soon, and I will get back up as well :P Well, now that ive got that bout of childish out of my system..i agree, A/L flags need to be made, and handed out to all A/L fans over the world so we can show our support..I think we should turn up the RofK premiere en-masse with then **laughs evilly as possibilities flood her mind** Hmmm, well. Hope you like this update and it makes up for the shortness of the last one. I have really gone all out and tried to make this one as sweet and mushy as I could. Take care hunny! Love and Huggles. Botticelli Angel.
Lanier - ask and yee shall receive ;)
Jessica - wow. I am very shocked and extremely flattered to receive such an urgent and excited review from you. I will inform you that I will be writing more LotR fics, I have some more ideas, but I want to finish this one before I start another one. I really can't keep two LotR projects going at once as I know one will get left and neglected. But, as I said, I have more ideas, and I do have two other pieces up on here. One is called Arguments - which is a twisted piece of humour and the second is called Guilt, which is about Pippin feeling guilty after what happened in Moria, you can get to both from my profile if you want to read them, but yes, there will be more. I promise. Thank you for your lovely compliments, I can only feel humbled by the fact that you think so highly of my ability to write. Take care.
Shauna - please don't die. Again. That would be bad, very bad. I hope you didn't scare the neighbours with the screaming at the fic. I think now would be a good time to give them another 5 minute warning as I have a feeling you might be screaming again soon. Please don't hurt me! I hear you and Ethe are ganging up on me, which I think is rather unfair, as she is just as bad as I am!!! I will not be the only one receiving a smiting, if I go down, I'm taking you two with me **grins wickedly**
Dani - thankies muchly for the cookies. Yum yum.
Skywise - oh no, not another one!!! Everyone seems to be fainting and dying on me! I'm not sure if this is a good or a bad thing?!?!? I am very sorry to keep leaving you hanging, but it will all be worth it, you shall see. I promise! Thankies muchly for the kind compliments. It's very scary being up in their heads, but I think I'll be okay as long as I don't have to go picking Gimilis brains, I really wouldn't look good with a ginger beard ;) Love and Huggles.
Earen - **dutifully goes and collects mop and bucket and collects up melted Earen** Thankies muchly for the compliments as always. I like Aragorn PoV, I think I can do him more effectively than Legolas, don't know why though..maybe its because I'm not an elf..LOL! Though, I have gone against both of us and done this one as Legolas, though when you read it I am sure you will forgive me, and hopefully melt all over again. Thankies for the praise singing to the Valar, I feel so unworthy!!!! Love and Huggles.
Golden Rose - will read and review asap =)
Little Moo - I know I was naughty and cut Aragorn short, but you of all people should know that I have good reason to, and should not be baying for my blood..well, after today I am actually a bit worried about where my bloods going to be tomorrow morning. Though I think that Wednesday and Thursday will more than make up for it. A whole day where I can Liverrrrrrr and Och as much as I want!!! **giggles with glee** I also understand about those fics that I haven't written **cough cough** I am very happy that you like this as much as you like them, am most happy now. Especially after you reaction to this chapter today, apart from the wanting to kill me part, that was bad :S I am very glad that I have managed to convert you. I'm making a habit of this aren't I???? **grins** Yes, I am *your* mummy moo, and no body else's. Promise. Hehehehehe. Now you're gonna have to wait till my next update for a new dose of this, unless you're willing to pay for some more again ;) **huggles to *my* baby moo** Mummy moo.
S_Star - I told you I was evil! Am I forgiven seeing as I have been kind and have been updating this and reviewing your fic??? Pleeeeaaaaseee! **does puppy dog eyes** At least let me have my £200 then??? =) thankies for the review as always. Take care. Huggles.
Shadow Dreamer - oh my, am most definitely blushing now. You are way to kind to me, way to kind! I am so honoured and proud to know that I could brighten up your day after having to sit through 3 tests - I pity you, I really do as I know the feeling! I feel like the puppet -master toying with your emotions, from near tears to squealing! Here is the update I promised. Thankies for the lovely choccies, I love the box!!! =) Thankies for the kind review, it brightened up my biology-ridden day. Huggles.
Violet Eyes - Thankies muchly for the kind words. All will be revealed soon enough, and as for the cliffhangers..they're not my fault honest, they just kinda happen! **tries to look innocent** I look forward to your reviews!!! =)
Wilde Phyre - Oh, I don't know if I would say that I am as evil as you are! At least I have Aragorn realising his love for Legolas, who I do believe isn't in a wonderful situation in your fic either last time I checked. I think you are just as evil as I am, if not more so! I demand that you start to be nice to the poor little elf, he can't take much more after all I'm putting him through. Oh, and hit Aragorn over the head to make him realised how much he wants to jump Legolas and drop Arwen out a high window.**snikers at images now running through her head** Take care, thankies for the review. I will do another update asap. Huggles.
Thankies to every one else who reviewed. Love you all, every review I get inspires me to keep going and brightens up my sad little days. Please continue to REVIEW!!!!!
Now, realising how many authors' notes I have actually written, I will get on with the fic.....
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Chapter 9
(Legolas PoV)
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As I sat cradled in Aragorns arms I could feel the dark shadow of Saruman passing over my soul, chilling my entire being. Even the feeling of being encased in Aragorns arms was not enough to rid me of the pain I felt, so intense that it was almost blinding. It would not be long now. I knew I should not be thinking of death, that by waiting for it to come and claim me I was inviting it to do so. But I had not lied to Aragorn, I could not lie to him, even in this, a matter of so much pride to me, like that of all Elves. So much of what we do and say is based upon pride, and in confessing my pain and my lack of hope, I was stripping myself of mine. But it didn't matter to me. Not anymore. I could feel myself nearing the halls of Mandos with every laboured breath that I struggled to take. And so close to death, I could not lie to the rugged man before me, I feared that even if I had the strength to do so he would see through my words. And more importantly, I did not want to lie to him. I could not enter the Halls of Mandos knowing my last words to him were untrue and unpure. There were many things unsaid between us, but I could not bring myself to taint those words that did come to pass.
I loved him with all my being, more than I had loved any other. I owed him the truth, no matter how painful it may be.
When did I realise I loved him? That awful moment when he pushed the arrow through the barely broken skin of my back I knew, for I could not curse his name for the pain being inflicted upon me. As he did it I knew that I would have no other putting me through such a thing and it was not because he is well renowned healer. It was because I trusted him with my life, because I would have gone to the ends of middle earth for him, to be with him.
I was in love with him.
I had to tell him.
I refused to die without letting him know how deeply I felt. A small part of me knew it was cruel to place such a confession on his shoulders, but my heart sang out his name and I could not hold it within me any longer. I could not die without telling him how I felt. I could not enter that final resting without knowing if he felt the same. Of course, I was under no delusions that he would suddenly confess his love for me, after all, he has pledged his life and his love to the Evenstar, one whom I could never compete with, not even in my wildest dreams. Still, there was the smallest sliver of hope that he would not turn me away, that he would not laugh at my confession, and I *needed* to know. Whatever his answer, I would then be free to go to the Halls to meet the fallen warriors of the battle of the Deep to be healed in spirit, from the loss of my love. And never could my heart and spirit heal without an answer.
As he held me tight and told me he would not let me pass his voice was strong, but his deep grey eyes were full of the emotion that gave me the hope I needed to go on. The feel of his hand upon my face brushing away my hair and the gentle tears that stained his faced and welled in his eyes distracted me for a long moment. I simply sat and stared at his face, studying everything about it, every line and mark of dirt upon it.
"Legolas?" He asked me, his voice soft and grey eyes full of concern. I realised I must have been lost in my study of him for longer than I intended, but watching him eased my pain. My thoughts of him eased my pain. He eased my pain.
"~Yes?~"
"~Promise me that you shall fight Legolas.~"
"~Fight?~" I wished I had been paying attention to what he had been saying, but he seemed not to mind.
"~Promise me that you shall fight the evil Saruman has unleashed upon you. I can not lose you.~" His voice was pained as he gently laid me back down upon the bed and took my hand in his once more.
I thought about what he said, but I did not answer. I could not promise that I would fight it. If he loved me then perhaps I could find the strength to fight the poison that weaved itself through my body, but if he did not - which I was sure was the case - then I would not be able to go on, if the poison did not consume me, then grief would.
"Promise me Legolas!" He demanded firmly in his native tongue, the tears still in his eyes and painting their way down his face.
"~You fear for me whether I fight or otherwise Aragorn. It will claim me.~" I told him as gently as I could.
"~It will not claim you if you do not let it!~"
"~If you do not fear it will claim me, why do you shed tears for me?~"
"~Because simply the thought of losing you is more than I can bear. Promise me Legolas, promise me that I do not need fear for you.~"
I could promise him nothing, so instead I began my confession.
"~When I thought you were dead, on the journey here after the warg attack. I thought that I might die of grief.~"
"Legolas?" His voice was barely more than a whisper, but I could read nothing in his eyes except the tears that still fell from them.
I continued, for I knew that if I stopped now I would not be able to gather the strength to do this again. "~For the prospect of life without you I could not bear.~"
"~What are you saying Legolas?~" Was that hope I saw in his eyes? Once again I had to ignore it, I had to finish this, I had to tell him.
"~Then when you rode into the deep alive.I thought that my grief had finally consumed me, that I was suffering my dying vision. When I knew that it was real.~" I took a shaky breath. "~I have not felt such joy, such relief in many centuries. To know that you lived and breathed still.~"
He pressed my hand to his lips again. "~Then grant me that same honour Legolas. Hold on, do not fade. For your loss, and the grief it would bring would destroy me. Of that I am sure. Allow me the joy of knowing that you live and breathe also, by *my* side.~"
"~It is an honour I would like to grant you Aragorn, but I fear that it is beyond even my power to decide.~
"~Do not fade Legolas, do not give up. There is hope yet. I need you to survive, I need you.~" He trailed off realising what he was saying, contemplating how to continue. So I decided for him.
"~Aragorn.~" I sighed his name, lifting my free hand to stroke his cheek. "~I fear that I shall not survive to see another rise of the sun, and I can not pass to the Halls of Mandos without telling you.~"
"~I fear there is something I must confess to you also Legolas.~"
"~Aragorn.I love you.~" My voice was soft and apprehensive as I waited for his response, I knew that I had cut him off but if I had waited another moment I fear I never would have let words pass from my lips."
Aragorn stared at me for what seemed like an eternity, my hope fading with each second he was silent. Eventually he asked. "~What?~"
"~I love you.~"
Aragorn moved to say something, but I cut him off in fear of the rejection that I felt was to come from his lips.
"~Please, do not say anything Aragorn. I know that your heart and love is bound to Arwen and I am no comparison to the Evenstar of Rivendell. But I have loved you since the day that I met you at the council. Your reputation had me entranced, but the sight of you, the sound of you, it captured me, and the quest made me love you all the more. I could not, I cannot live without you. I fear I have not been able to since that day and I could not pass without telling you. Even though I know that I shall never have your heart in the way that you have mine.~"
I shut my eyes, unable to face whatever expression Aragorn held as the result of my heart breaking confession. So I was totally unprepared for Aragorns lips gently brushing against mine in a soft and tentative kiss, ridding my entire body of pain for that glorious moment where his lips were pressed against my own. My eyes shot open faster than an arrow loosed from my bow as Aragorns lips left my own and were replaced by one of his calloused fingertips bidding me not to speak.
"~Hush Legolas my love.~"
Did he just call me my love, or is the return of my pain making me delusional?
I obeyed none the less.
"~You are the keeper of my heart Legolas. You have stolen my love and it shall be forever yours, for I could not think or dream of being with another. I could not last another day without you by my side. I would have said this long ago if I had not feared that you would not return my love.~"
For a long time I lay there contemplating his words and praying to the Valar that this was true, that this was not some dream or hallucination from Sarumans poison.
"Legolas?" He asked me tentatively after giving me sufficient time.
A single tear fell from my eye and traced its way down my cheek. As I spoke he gently wiped the tear away with his thumb as he caressed my cheek.
"~I feared that you would not feel so, that you would reject me and turn me away. Laugh at me for thinking that you could ever want my love.~"
"~Never.~" He said in a breath. "~Never could I reject you. Never could I laugh at your love for it has been what I have wanted, needed, for longer than I even knew. It has been what I have always needed.~" He paused. "~*You* have been what I have always needed.~"
Aragorn leant down to me again and pressed his lips to mine once more, and this time I was more prepared for his kiss. I smiled against his lips before allowing him to kiss me properly. I had finally got what I wanted, what I needed. Aragorn was thoroughly kissing away my pain.
As he pulled away to allow me to draw much needed breath, the pain came crashing down upon me again unlike any thing I had ever felt and his name fell from my lips as I slipped into blackness.
"Estel."
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Tbc..
A/n: I could not be more evil if I tried could I???? I know you guys are going to try and kill me for this cliff-hanger, but the A/L mush has to make up for some of it..right??? Well, I hope it does, as I don't want you all attacking me like Little Moo did today. I'm still v.scared of what she's going to do to me if I don't put another update soon. Which I will, I promise!! And as I told her today, I reckon that this could be two or three more chapters away from completion =) Though I am not going to tell you what happens to Legolas, you just have to wait and see! Except of course Little Moo, but even she doesn't know about the little Ace I'm keeping up my sleeve **laughs evilly to self**
On a completely different note, YAY FOR ELVES MUSIC!!!! Sorry listening to the Two Towers soundtrack and getting rather excited at the bit of music where the elves arrive at Helms Deep.**slowly becomes comatose at the thought of Haldir in that shiny armour** As another side note, Haldir is NOT dead, he's just away on a dirty weekend with Boromir, who is also NOT dead..yes, I am in denial.
Botticelli Angel