Link stood up, his spine broken in multiple places. His eye was gashed from the left to the right. There was a chicken stuck up his butt.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Link's Sidenote- Cut the crap. And get this chicken outta of my ass!
Kurashu's Sidenote- SIR, YES, SIR!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"....My butt hurts."
Link stood up, pulled the chicken out of his rectum and began forth, correcting his spine as needed. After several hours of hard work, he recovered his Heart Container.
"YE- Oh god my spine."
Soon Link's broken body was surruonded by hundereds of harmless animals as if it was some sort of kiddy movie.
"Somebody shoot me."
"That can be arranged."
"Shuddup Kurashu."
A lightning bolt struck our hero, bringing him to his sences and worshiping me, KurashuOtoko Authoring f00 of this Fan-Fic.
"So sorry sir. It was wrong of me to question you."
"Yes it was, but all can be forgiven."
"I've become an asskisser." Link thought.
"I can here you thoughts too."
"Eh, mean I would glady lick your toes."
Link quickly corrected his posture, and shoed away the animals with a swipe or fifty five of his sword. But soon, Link had a much bigger problem to deal with.
"WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH FOUR HEARTS?! I mean, jeeze I started with three, and now I have FOUR! I mean, jeeze I could take on Gannon with four hearts, I wouldn't win but still."
Link was struck down with another thunder bolt.
"Go forth to Hyrule Castle. There you will meet a beautiful Princess. You must complete two tasks for her."
"What are those tasks?"
"That is confindental, if I told you Zelda would kill me."
"Bleh, whatever. I read the script anyways."
And thus forward our Hero went to try to enter Hyrule Castle Town. One the way he encountered many an enemy. Here is one account of an encounter.
"SWEET MERICFUL CRAP!" Link yelled as he jumpe doutta of the way of a zombiefied skeleton thingy poping up of the ground. "NAZI YYOU DIDN'T TELL ME ABOUT THEM!!!"
"The name is is Navi, and you never asked so thus I never told you.
"You're still a Nazi Fairy for not trying to tell me." Link swung his sword at the monsters, but they just laughed and ate his sheild. "GREAT! THERE GOES MY SHEILD TOO!!"
Navi tried to intervine but was just chopped in half by Link's rabid swinging. Soon, Link thwarted the attack of enemies. He taped Navi back together, and proceeded to yell at her.
"YOU STOOPID USELESS FAIRY!!!!!! YOU GOT CUT IN HALF!!!! I SHOULD HAVE LEFT YOU IN TWO PIECES!!!!"
And so, Link made his way to the drawbridge gate of Hyrule Castle Town.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN "'VISITING HOURS OVER'!?!?!?!?!?! I SHOULD BUST IN THERE AND KILL YOU FOR THIS!!!!!!11!!!oneoneone!!!!" Link yelled, a vein popping out of his head ready to explode.
"Li-"
"YOU NAZI FAIRY ARE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD!"
"Bu-"
"NO BUTS! IN THE BOTTLE AND DIE!!!!"
"Sir. Sir, SIR?!" the gate guard yelled at Link. "I'm sorry but I'm going to have to report you to the 'Fairy and Other Magical Creatures Abuse Center'."
"WHY, DEAR GOD, WHY ME?!"
"Yes, we have a Fairy Bottler here." the guard spoke into a long pipe-tube-thingy. "Ok good. Nice to talk to you."
"So, what's the verdict stoopid?"
"You're now an officially wanted man. GUARDS, GUARDS!"
"Screw this crap, if I want LttP antics I would have stayed there. Look, just let me in, I don't rip your guts out and feed them to the pigs and everyone is happy. Plus, you don't want the big guy up there to be mad either do you?"
"Stop lying through your teeth. I am prefect in ever way. He would-"
"Kurashu."
Almost as if the lord commanded it, wait I did XDHAHA, a lightning bolt struck down in front of the guard's post.
"Oh, so sorry sir."
"Thankies Cr- er...Kurashu."
"IF YOU MESS UP ONE MORE TIME, LIGHTS OUT FOR YOU LINK!!!!!"
"Yes big scary voice in the sky. I shall thing I am Too Sexy (Hyrule version) to please you know.
centerI'm Too Sexy For My Tunic
Too Sexy For My Tunic
So Sexy It Hurts
And I'm Too Sexy For Hyrule
Too Sexy For Hyrule
Termania And Dark World
I'm Too Sexy For Your Quest
Too Sexy For Your Quest
No Way I'm Fighting him
I'm A Fighter, Ya Know What I Mean
And I Do My Little Fight with The End Boss
Yeah With The End Boss
With The End Boss Yeah
I Do My Little Fight with The End Boss
I'm Too Sexy For My Horse
Too Sexy For My Horse
Too Sexy Of Course
I'm Too Sexy For My Hat
Too Sexy For My Hat
What Ya Think About That
I'm A Fighter, Ya Know What I Mean
And I Do My Little Fight with The End Boss
Yeah With The End Boss
With The End Boss Yeah
I Do My Little Fight with The End Boss
Too Sexy For My
Too Sexy For My
Too Sexy For My
I'm A Fighter, Ya Know What I Mean
And I Do My Little Fight with The End Boss
Yeah With The End Boss
With The End Boss Yeah
I Do My Little Fight with The End Boss
I'm Too Sexy For My Sword
Too Sexy For My Sword
Poor Swordy
Poor Swordy Wordy
I'm Too Sexy For My Lover
Too Sexy For My Lover
Lover's Going To Leave Me
And I'm Too Sexy For Myself, oh no! "/center
Link continued singing, until the sun came, or he was hauled away by the men in white coats, I couldn't remember, I was too busy laughing. I'm thinking it was the second one because the guard made another call after he canceled the Fairy Abuse Busters whoever they were, and then he brust out laughing too.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Link's Sidenote- Cut the crap. And get this chicken outta of my ass!
Kurashu's Sidenote- SIR, YES, SIR!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"....My butt hurts."
Link stood up, pulled the chicken out of his rectum and began forth, correcting his spine as needed. After several hours of hard work, he recovered his Heart Container.
"YE- Oh god my spine."
Soon Link's broken body was surruonded by hundereds of harmless animals as if it was some sort of kiddy movie.
"Somebody shoot me."
"That can be arranged."
"Shuddup Kurashu."
A lightning bolt struck our hero, bringing him to his sences and worshiping me, KurashuOtoko Authoring f00 of this Fan-Fic.
"So sorry sir. It was wrong of me to question you."
"Yes it was, but all can be forgiven."
"I've become an asskisser." Link thought.
"I can here you thoughts too."
"Eh, mean I would glady lick your toes."
Link quickly corrected his posture, and shoed away the animals with a swipe or fifty five of his sword. But soon, Link had a much bigger problem to deal with.
"WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH FOUR HEARTS?! I mean, jeeze I started with three, and now I have FOUR! I mean, jeeze I could take on Gannon with four hearts, I wouldn't win but still."
Link was struck down with another thunder bolt.
"Go forth to Hyrule Castle. There you will meet a beautiful Princess. You must complete two tasks for her."
"What are those tasks?"
"That is confindental, if I told you Zelda would kill me."
"Bleh, whatever. I read the script anyways."
And thus forward our Hero went to try to enter Hyrule Castle Town. One the way he encountered many an enemy. Here is one account of an encounter.
"SWEET MERICFUL CRAP!" Link yelled as he jumpe doutta of the way of a zombiefied skeleton thingy poping up of the ground. "NAZI YYOU DIDN'T TELL ME ABOUT THEM!!!"
"The name is is Navi, and you never asked so thus I never told you.
"You're still a Nazi Fairy for not trying to tell me." Link swung his sword at the monsters, but they just laughed and ate his sheild. "GREAT! THERE GOES MY SHEILD TOO!!"
Navi tried to intervine but was just chopped in half by Link's rabid swinging. Soon, Link thwarted the attack of enemies. He taped Navi back together, and proceeded to yell at her.
"YOU STOOPID USELESS FAIRY!!!!!! YOU GOT CUT IN HALF!!!! I SHOULD HAVE LEFT YOU IN TWO PIECES!!!!"
And so, Link made his way to the drawbridge gate of Hyrule Castle Town.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN "'VISITING HOURS OVER'!?!?!?!?!?! I SHOULD BUST IN THERE AND KILL YOU FOR THIS!!!!!!11!!!oneoneone!!!!" Link yelled, a vein popping out of his head ready to explode.
"Li-"
"YOU NAZI FAIRY ARE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD!"
"Bu-"
"NO BUTS! IN THE BOTTLE AND DIE!!!!"
"Sir. Sir, SIR?!" the gate guard yelled at Link. "I'm sorry but I'm going to have to report you to the 'Fairy and Other Magical Creatures Abuse Center'."
"WHY, DEAR GOD, WHY ME?!"
"Yes, we have a Fairy Bottler here." the guard spoke into a long pipe-tube-thingy. "Ok good. Nice to talk to you."
"So, what's the verdict stoopid?"
"You're now an officially wanted man. GUARDS, GUARDS!"
"Screw this crap, if I want LttP antics I would have stayed there. Look, just let me in, I don't rip your guts out and feed them to the pigs and everyone is happy. Plus, you don't want the big guy up there to be mad either do you?"
"Stop lying through your teeth. I am prefect in ever way. He would-"
"Kurashu."
Almost as if the lord commanded it, wait I did XDHAHA, a lightning bolt struck down in front of the guard's post.
"Oh, so sorry sir."
"Thankies Cr- er...Kurashu."
"IF YOU MESS UP ONE MORE TIME, LIGHTS OUT FOR YOU LINK!!!!!"
"Yes big scary voice in the sky. I shall thing I am Too Sexy (Hyrule version) to please you know.
centerI'm Too Sexy For My Tunic
Too Sexy For My Tunic
So Sexy It Hurts
And I'm Too Sexy For Hyrule
Too Sexy For Hyrule
Termania And Dark World
I'm Too Sexy For Your Quest
Too Sexy For Your Quest
No Way I'm Fighting him
I'm A Fighter, Ya Know What I Mean
And I Do My Little Fight with The End Boss
Yeah With The End Boss
With The End Boss Yeah
I Do My Little Fight with The End Boss
I'm Too Sexy For My Horse
Too Sexy For My Horse
Too Sexy Of Course
I'm Too Sexy For My Hat
Too Sexy For My Hat
What Ya Think About That
I'm A Fighter, Ya Know What I Mean
And I Do My Little Fight with The End Boss
Yeah With The End Boss
With The End Boss Yeah
I Do My Little Fight with The End Boss
Too Sexy For My
Too Sexy For My
Too Sexy For My
I'm A Fighter, Ya Know What I Mean
And I Do My Little Fight with The End Boss
Yeah With The End Boss
With The End Boss Yeah
I Do My Little Fight with The End Boss
I'm Too Sexy For My Sword
Too Sexy For My Sword
Poor Swordy
Poor Swordy Wordy
I'm Too Sexy For My Lover
Too Sexy For My Lover
Lover's Going To Leave Me
And I'm Too Sexy For Myself, oh no! "/center
Link continued singing, until the sun came, or he was hauled away by the men in white coats, I couldn't remember, I was too busy laughing. I'm thinking it was the second one because the guard made another call after he canceled the Fairy Abuse Busters whoever they were, and then he brust out laughing too.