Disclaimer:
Do you know, the Bandai dudes?
The Bandai dudes? The Bandai dudes?
Do you know the Bandai Dudes who lives so far away?
Well, they own Esca, and I don't!
And I don't… And I don't…
Do you know the Bandai Dudes who own Esca instead of me?
Note: I had references or mentioned or used the following shows/songs/characters/movies/etc… besides Escaflowne in this fic that I do not own and I do not claim to own. Don't sue me, I am broke.
"The Muffin Man"
The Wizard of Oz
Elmer Fudd
Survivor
Veggie Tales
Legally Blonde
Mary Poppins
The Little Mermaid
Beauty and the Beast
Peter Pan
The Grinch
Blue's Clues
Hey Arnold
Invader Zim
The Rapping Wolfmen (Belongs to my friend Fontina Blu Cent who gave me the Okay!)
"Never had a Dream Come True"- Sclub 7
"He Loves U Not"- Dream
"Just Communication"- Gundam Wing
Gundam Wing
Trowa (I LOVE YOU! ^^;)
"Dilemma"- Nelly and Kelly
Nelly
"Understanding the Van Language"- A hilarious fic at http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=374255
"Underneath Your Clothes"- Shakira
"Alive but Dead"- Rage
"Hot in Herre"- Nelly
The Country Bears (Now playing in theaters from Disney… YUCK!)
"Get a Clue"- Simon and Milo
"Hooray for Random Plotless Fics"- Fontina Blu Cent (The alternate Esca cast is from her fic, READ IT at http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=817730 )
Vanessa Carlton
"Ordinary Day"- Vanessa Carlton
"War and Peace"
Washu- Tenchi Muyo (But in this case, my good friend Jessica Fong! ^_^)
The Vision of Escaflowne (DUH!)
FICS YOU SHOULD READ!!!
The Esca Crew Visits THE BEACH- nagi-chan A hilarious fic about a beach, a vulture, a marshmallow, and some teardrop tattoos… You don't want to miss it… Hooray for Random Plotless Fics- Fontina Blu Cent This fic is so funny! Like mine, it bashes everything from movies, to Herbal Essences, to TV shows, to degrading the mega-cool Esca characters… Beware the Country Bears and hang on for a ride you're unlikely to forget anytime soon… (Also check out "Millerna and Hippie") Tenkuu no Ryuugekitai- I adore this fic… It's a Dragonslayer and Dilandau fic. What if Migel survived Zongi's assassination attempt? What if Gatti fell in love? What if the Fanels were not the only ones with wings? Other Good authors include: NekuraTak Kiddi Chi Lovely Videl – Kaliko Rosa Ztarlight Fanilia Dilandau's girl Phantom Angel NariaandEriya Baby-chan
A/N: Hiya folks! ^_^ This is Trunks Gal, the long-lost author of this slightly odd fic…
Dilandau: That's putting it lightly…
Author: HEY! WAIT UNTIL I START THE STUPID CHAPTER!
Dilandau: Whatever… * Goes off to burn things *
Author: Anime characters… They don't listen… * Sigh *
Anyways, I am soooooooo sorry I haven't updated this more! I have so many fics going on and I keep going on vacations and I just keep putting these fics off longer and longer… But I must admit that there is no good excuse that I haven't added to this since May 27… Anyways, I have a delicious idea for the next part of this fic because this is the end of our Halloween edition… (It began in November! ^_^;) Knowing how "quickly" I update this, I may only be able to come up with 1-2 different sections a year… Which is REALLY pathetic, but oh well… I hope some of you are still around to read this… Enjoy! Read and review! I WANT 60 REVIEWS!!!
Chapter 14: Chaos at the Concert
Dilandau and the rest of the cast watched as Dornkirk ran around shrieking.
"INTRODUCING, THE FLAMING BEARD!" Dilandau announced.
"We should sell tickets!"
"Well, that was fun…" Folken commented, dumping a bucket of ice water on the Emperor's head. He then ran around howling because his head was frozen. Nobody really cared and quickly ignored him.
"Well! Time to go trick-or-treating!" Hitomi beamed at them as the cast sweatdropped.
"Uh… Hitomi, babe… We can't leave now… It's 2 AM…" Van tried to explain the wonder of the watch.
"Uh! Nope! The almighty author told me it's time to leave!"
"Yes!" The author's voice boomed and the kitties hid. Merle in Van's shirt and Naria and Eriya under Folken's-cool-sorceror-robe-thingy™!
"IT IS I! THE GREAT AND POWERFUL AUTHOR! YOU ARE ALL AT MY MERCY! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" * Hack! Hack! Cough! Cough! Wheeze… *
"HERE! TAKE DORNKIRK! NOBODY LIKES HIM ANYWAY!" Dilly pleaded.
"AND WHILE YOU'RE AT IT… STOP CALLING ME DILLY!"
"Aww… But it sounds so CUTE!" The author smiled brightly as flowers rained down on the unfortunate characters who looked completely bewildered. A furry white bunny rubbed against Dilandau's leg.
"AUGH! FURRY WHITE THING! A DEMON OF THE UNDERWORLD! BURN FURRY BLOB! BURN!" Dilandau whipped out his flame-thrower and the bunny went up in flames.
"NO! BUNNY!" The author shrieked as it began to rain directly over the flaming rodent. The bunny miraculously survived and promptly hopped over to Dilandau and bit his hand before scampering away.
"You wascally wabbit!" Dilandau shrieked, chasing after it.
"OH NO! DILLY'S BEEN POSESSED BY ELMER FUDD! DON'T WORRY DILLY! I'LL SAVE YOU!" Hitomi screamed, running over to Dilly and jumping on top of him, knocking his flat.
"And how exactly did that help?" Dilandau asked coolly.
"I dunno!" She grinned.
"Hitomi…" He muttered as she crushed him.
"Diet time!"
"Are you saying that I'm f-fat?" Hitomi whispered in horror and disbelief.
"Heck, I'd rather have a walrus fall on me!" Hitomi rolled away and a blubbery sea creature did indeed fall on Dilly.
"Then again… Maybe not…" Dilandau muttered, attempting to get it off him.
"A little help here… Please?!" Dilly begged.
"Say I'm not fat!" Hitomi demanded.
"You're gargantuan, who cares! JUST GET IT OFF ME!"
Hitomi turned away from the screen and acted as though she were in a commercial.
"Pyros told me I was fat. I didn't know what to do. Then, I went to Dorny's Dieting Center!"
"Here at the weird dieting-center-thing, I got in shape again, by following, THE DORNY DIET!"
"The what?" A small boy, we'll call him Timmy since I don't like that name, asked stupidly.
"The Dorny Diet, you moron!" Hitomi said in disgust.
"Gosh oh golly gee Hitomi! What is the Dorny diet?" Timmy asked in confusion.
"Well Timmy, to answer your question, we'll go to the diet's creator himself, DORNY!" Dornkirk walked out, looking hideous and old as usual.
"You see, before Dorny created the Dorny diet, he was unpopular and ugly and old! Let's see how Dorny changed all that…"
"Well, I spent 10 years looking out a weird-telescope-looking-thing saying, "I see it! I see it! I see our ideal future!" This continued for quite some time and I eventually forgot about eating, sleeping, and getting up to use the restroom…"
"EWWWWWW!" Timmy shrieked.
"Umm… That's a little more information than we needed, but thanks Dorny…" Hitomi said nervously.
"So, Timmy, do you see the difference?"
"IS THERE A DIFFERENCE?! HE'S STILL UNPOPULAR, UGLY, AND OLD! AND BESIDES, HOW DOES DIETING HELP ANY OF THOSE THINGS?! THIS THING'S SCREWED!"
"That's enough out of you Timmy, but thanks for being on the show!" She pressed a button and he fell through a trap door in the floor.
She held up a sign: AFTER THE DORNY DIET…
Millerna sat in a lawn chair with Van, Allen, Folken, and Dryden waiting on her hand and foot.
"More lemonade, my dear?" Dryden asked, bowing before her.
"Yes please, make it a double!" The annoying blonde giggled.
"THANKS DORNY DIET!" She gave the screen a thumb's up.
"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, SOMEONE GET THIS WALRUS OFF ME!" Dilandau screamed.
The commercial-like-thing then ended.
"That was weird…" Van commented.
"Hey, it was all Hitomi's idea, I just went along with it cuz she gave me a pretty new pink bow!" Millerna beamed and everybody sweatdropped.
"YOU FORGOT ABOUT ME!" The author whined.
"Anyways, back to where we were…"
"DILANDAU! YOU ARE DOOM-ED!" The face boomed, cackling.
"WAIT! I'VE SEEN THIS MOVIE!" Hitomi piped up.
"What was it called? Attack of the Killer Walrus?" Dilandau muttered, nursing his bunny wound.
Hitomi ignored the pyro and ran over to the mysterious-booth-that-came-out-of-nowhere™. She pulled back the-curtain-of-doom™ and there was a stack of bunnies and a microphone that a very fat bunny was speaking into.
"Shoo! You!" Hitomi kicked the bunnies away.
"Hey! I just made a rhyme! Shoo! You!" She giggled at her cleverness. She then noticed the teenage girl with dark blonde hair gagged and tied up where the bunnies had been.
MPH! MPH! MPH! MPH!" The author shouted through the gag.
"You… lost your shoe?" Hitomi guessed, sweatdropping.
"MPH! MPH! MPH! MPH!"
"Turn blue?"
"MPH! MPH! MPH! MPH!"
"What's wrong with you?"
"Oh, I give up! I can't understand what you're saying!" Hitomi pouted, walking over and removing the gag.
"I'M THE AUTHOR YOU *%#@*!"
"Oh my!" Hitomi covered hr mouth in astonishment.
"There goes our PG rating!" Van mumbled.
"YOU OWE ME A SODA!" A Washu popped up, before dashing away.
"YOU IDIOT! UNTIE ME!" The blonde continued shrieking.
"Oh, should I?" She asked the others in confusion.
"I liked her better with the gag…" Folkie muttered.
Dilandau walked over, smirking dangerously.
"So YOU'RE the annoying author! I've been waiting to meet you for a looooooooooong time…"
"14 CHAPTERS TO BE EXACT!" Chesta added, smiling widely.
"Shut up!" Dilandau growled as the blonde slayer ran away.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CHESTA! I LOVE YOU CHESTA!" The author shrieked after the cute slayer. She then remembered that she wasn't in the world's safest situation and remembered Dilly's hostility…
"Uh… Did I say I was the author! Heh Heh! I didn't mean that at all! I'm Hitomi's third cousin four times removed!"
"I've never seen you before in my life…" Hitomi stated in puzzlement.
"Uh… That's because I've been removed so many times!" The author grinned.
"Oh! Okay!" Hitomi smiled back and untied her. The blonde scrambled up and everyone noticed that she was several inches shorter than them.
"WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?!" The author screamed in fury.
"Oh, nothing, nothing…" Van murmured innocently.
"Whatever… Umm, yeah, anyways!" The author twitched her hand and it was 6 PM. She smiled and everybody stared.
"So, what was with all the bunnies?" Van scratched his head in puzzlement.
"Oh… They want the next story to be about Easter, but I told them that it couldn't be because ---------------"
"Because ---------------?" Van asked in confusion.
"Sorry Van-chan, you gotta wait till the end of the chapter to find out!" The author winked at him.
"The bunnies just got a little out of hand…"
"Well, based on the number of bunnies there were, and their rate of reproduction… BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH…"
The characters were bored as Dryden babbled.
That Dorny Diet must have helped… Hitomi looks younger… Van thought to himself, oblivious to the fact that dieting isn't supposed to make you look younger.
MUST BURN AUTHOR! Dilly told himself, stroking his flame-thrower thoughtfully.
I wonder how I got in this fic to begin with… Dryden pondered.
I like yarn! Naria and Eriya both thought silently.
I wonder if my hair looks good… Allen worried.
WHY DOES DRYDEN HAVE TO BE HERE?! BOO HOO! HOW SHALL I EVER MARRY MY HANDSOME MOOSE? I MEAN… PRINCE! Millerna griped.
I see it… I see that Dryden's psychobabble shall never end! Dornkirk silently triumphed.
I wonder if I could break my million bonks record? Folkie pondered.
Hitomi better keep her hands off Lord Van! He's MINE!!! Merle screamed inwardly.
Does this skirt make me look fat? Hitomi wondered, not seeming to realize that she was not at all fat.
"BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH! Well, I guess I should stop saying 'Blah' now!" Dryden adjusted his glasses and everyone looked up.
"I VOTE DRYDEN OFF THE ISLAND!" Millerna shrieked.
The author sweatdropped.
"Sorry Princess… That's another fic…"
"Oh, alright!" The princess beamed.
"Anyways… It is now nighttime, October 31! Happy Halloween!" The author dashed out, leaving the characters more confused and bewildered than usual.
"Okay…" Folkie sweatdropped.
"Let's go!" Hitomi shrieked.
(A/N: "Igo!" If you're a Washu… ^_^)
The costumed characters reluctantly followed. She led them right off the deck of the Vione and they all plummeted through the air.
"FLY!" She shrieked.
"HTIOMI! YOU MORON! NOT ALL OF US HAVE WINGS!" Dilandau shrieked in terror.
"OH VAN!!!" She shrieked in impatience.
"Oh yeah… RIGHT!" Van swooped down and caught her.
"LATER!" She giggled as they prepared for reentry.
Everybody except Folken, Van, and Hitomi, was on their own.
"Well sister, I suppose we should write out our wills..." Naria commented as the kitties plunged.
"Yes. Let's!" Eriya agreed happily, pulling out a notebook and "The Vision of Escaflowne" pen she had swiped from Van.
"Well, I'll leave, my yarnball collection to Folken, my hair dye to Millerna... That hair is sooooooooo fake... Dilandau can have our candles; he'll enjoy that... Umm... Dornkirk can have umm... all the air in our room! Yeah! That's it! And I don't feel like leaving the rest of them anything... That Merle-kid's annoying... I swear, she's trying to work over Lord Folken... Anything else Naria?"
"Hitomi is my special friend! She may have my Veggie Tales tapes!" Naria beamed, despite the fact they were soon to splatter upon the ground below.
"Folken-sama can have my life-sized replica of Bob, I suppose. Only HE'D appreciate it!" Eriya declared.
"Oh yes, and I'll give him my body to experiment on for the good of science!"
"Oh no you don't... I know what you're up to, Missy, and it isn't going to work!" Naria hissed.
"And just what might that be, Naria?" Eriya asked smugly.
"Oh, you know what you're up to Eriya! You're trying to take Folken away from me!"
"As far as I know, he wasn't yours to begin with my dear sister..." Eriya said, innocently.
"I'm older!"
"By two minutes!"
"He knows me better!"
"I didn't see you in a liplock with him!" Eriya pointed out.
"That was a coin toss! It was far from HIS decision!"
"Well, I didn't notice him cursing and asking you to fill-in instead, Naria..."
"Well... I... Hmph..." Naria crossed her arms over her chest, pouting, knowing she'd been beaten once again.
"Got you Naria!" Eriya smirked triumphantly.
"I guess... Oh well, when our guts are splattered against the rocks below, it won't make much difference..." Naria reasoned.
"Betcha MY guts will land closer to Folken!" Eriya taunted.
"YOU'RE ON!" Naria growled, as they fought for air position. Just then, Folken caught them both by the scruff of the neck and they argued over who was having more circulation cut off.
Meanwhile...
"OH ALLEN-POO! WE'RE GONNA DIE!" Millerna shrieked as they fell through the air.
"WILL YOU STOP YELLING IN MY EAR?! JEEZ!" Allen shouted back.
"Oh, I'm sorry, it's just that... OH ALLEN! I'M TOO CUTE TOO DIE! WAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
"Oh well, at least the living beard and the hippie are doomed too..."
"Not necessarily, my moose-like friend!" Dryden called out as he glided by. His robes were fanned out and being that he was quite skinny, he floated with ease.
"LOOK MILLERNA! I CAN DO A BARREL ROLL!" Dryden spun around and around in mid-air and Millerna clapped in excitement.
"Mille-chan, come with me! I'll get you down safely! He's too fat to float!"
"I'll have you know I'm just big-boned!" Allen said somewhat whimpishly.
"I'm sorry Dryden, but I must die beside by one true love!" Millerna proclaimed dramatically, clinging to the helpless Allen.
"You'll wreck your shoes..." Dryden said innocently.
"Then again, I've always wanted to fly! Bye Allen!" Millerna let go of him and glided off with the hippie.
"Well, at least the beard's doomed too..." Allen consoled himself.
"I wouldn't say just that!" Dornkirk cried out. Allen's eyes bugged out. Dornkirk was dressed like Mary Poppins, in a black dress and clicky black boots, and he even had an umbrella as he floated down.
"Why are you dressed like a woman?!" Allen shrieked.
"Why do you look like a woman?" Dornkirk asked. (A/N: That one's for all the Allen haters out there...)
"THINK HAPPY THOUGHTS MY BOY!"
"THAT'S NOT IN MARY POPPINS! I SHOULD KNOW! I... I mean, SELENA, loves that movie!"
"Don't blame me kid, the author wouldn't know "Beauty and the Beast" from "The Little Mermaid"! Toodles!" He then floated off, before landing on the ground below.
"THINK HAPPY THOUGHTS!" Allen commanded himself.
"MILLERNA'S NOT HERE! THAT'S A HAPPY THOUGHT!" Before he knew it, he was soaring through the sky like that annoying Peter Pan. A pesky little fairy joined him, and he felt intruded upon.
"Buzz off Tinkerbell, I'm working this side of the street!" He flicked the fairy away as she shrieked. Allen then crashed into a rather large tree and painfully slid to the ground.
Soon, everyone had somehow gotten safely to the ground. The slayers had decided not to come for some reason or another.
(A/N: Hey Dilly, how'd you get down?)
"I don't know, YOU'RE the one writing it, moron!" Dilly called up in annoyance.
Well, everyone was safe, except Merle...
"AUGH! SAVE ME LORD VAN! SAVE ME!" She shrieked as she fell.
"Should I save her?" Van asked them.
"NAH!" The cast replied, having taken a dislike to the catgirl.
"AUGH! I'M GONNA DIE! I'M GONNA THROW UP AND THEN I'M GONNA DIE!" Merle screamed. Suddenly, she stopped moving. She opened her eyes to notice she was perfectly upright and unharmed.
"I guess cats do always land on their feet!" She commented, as everyone fell over anime-style.
~*~*~*~*~*~
None of the Esca cast except Hitomi had ever had Halloween before, so she chose to demonstrate.
"You go girl!" Van cheered her on as she walked up to the house.
She rang the doorbell and an ancient woman stepped out, shaking from her many nerve disorders.
"Yes, what do you want?"
"Trick or treat?" Hitomi asked sweetly, holding out her duffel bag.
"Oh, what an adorable PBS creature..." The old woman commented, noting her Telly Tubby costume. (A/N: Right... -_-;)
"Oh, is it Halloween already? I'm sorry dear, I'm getting old. I don't have any candy, but..." She reached in a bucket and pulled out a brightly colored package.
"Here's some sugar-free gum, g'night dear..." She then hobbled back inside, slamming the door behind her.
Hitomi's lip trembled as she shook.
"Hiotmi?" Van asked in concern.
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Hitomi shrieked, leaping into his arms.
"SATOU! IIE SATOU!"
"Huh?" Van asked in confusion.
(A/N: The author sighs and pulls out her dictionary.
"She said, 'SUGAR! NO SUGAR!')
"Ahh... Arigatou gozaimasu!" Van grinned, remembering one phrase.
"BUT I WANT CANDY!" Hitomi shrieked.
"Dilly, avenge my sugar-wooger-there's-a-booger-bear!" Van pleaded.
"Before she breaks our eardrums..." He whispered so she couldn't hear.
"Only if you stop calling me Dilly!" Dilandau shrieked.
"OKAY! OKAY! JUST GET TO IT! IT HURTS!" Van agreed as Hitomi continued wailing.
"Whatever..." Dilandau muttered, trudging up to the front door and banding on it mercilessly.
"TRICK OR TREAT?" He sneered at the old lady.
"My goodness! That little girl was just here and I... Oh never mind... Sugar-free gum, sonny?"
"NOOOOOOOOO!" Dilly roared, causing the woman to step back in alarm as he whipped out his handy-dandy...
Bunch of weird little "Blue's Clues" kids: "NOTEBOOK!"
(A/N: "Ah, WRONGO!")
Bunch of weird little "Blue's Clues" kids: Awwwwww... * Trudge away *
Anyhoo, so Dilly pulled out his flame-thrower.
"OH MY!" The senile old woman shrieked.
"Here sonny! PLEASE! Take my credit cards and here's my life savings and my cat!" She thrust them into his arms.
"I want candy..." He snarled.
"Oh, of course! Here ya go!" She thew him a five-pound bag and he staggered out with his newly acquired items.
"You have a nice day now, Sonny-boy!" The lady pleaded, running in to call the police.
"Nobody calls me 'Sonny-boy' and gets away with it..." He murmured, lighting the house on fire and cackling.
"Aw! Dilly! That wasn't very nice! You burned Mrs. I'm-a-Nice-Lady's house down!" Millerna protested. Everyone looked at her strangely... As usual...
"Mrs. I'm-a-Nice-Lady?" Dryden asked skeptically.
"Good thing I didn't marry you for brains, Mille-chan..."
"Aw! Dryden! That was really mean!" Hitiomi commented in annoyance.
"You tell 'em sister! Praise the Lord, Hallelujah!" Millerna shrieked. Everyone sweatdropped in her direction.
"WHAT?!" She demanded in fury.
"Oh well! Dilly brought candy, so who cares!" Hitomi giggled in glee. She ran over to get it to find Mrs. I'm-a-Nice-Lady's cat dozing upon it.
"COME OFF IN FURBALL!" She shrieked, knocking the kitty to the ground and shoving the wrapper-covered candy into her mouth to everyone's disgust.
"Tell me again, WHY she's such a great girlfriend?" Folken asked Van sarcastically.
"She's a great kisser..." Van muttered in embarrassment.
"I can vouch for that!" Allen piped up.
"SHOVE IT MOOSE!" Van yelled, slamming the blonde into the ground.
"Easy squeezy lemon peazy..." Allen muttered, before blanking out.
Dilly became enraptured with Mrs. I'm-a-Nice-Lady's kitty and stroked in thoughtfully.
"I shall name you Mr. Yum Yum!" Dilly grinned.
"You shall be my bestest friend!" He hugged the snarling cat.
Kodak Guy: "Aww... It's a Kodak moment!" He snapped a photo, temporarily blinding the feline and pyro who growled indignantly, flaming the camera and the Kodak guy.
"As I was saying..." Dilly continued.
"I'll make waffles!" He beamed before the kitty scratched him across the face.
"You don't LIKE waffles?" Dilly asked in disbelief as Mr. Yum Yum hissed at him.
As Mrs. I'm-a-Nice-Lady's house was burned to the ground and the Esca cast gobbled down candy like there was no tomorrow, the author beamed down and began shaking with fury.
"YOU IDIOTS! WHY'D YOU HAVE TO GO AND PULL SOME BIRD-BRAINED STUNT LIKE THIS?!"
"SUGAR!" Hitomi beamed.
"Ugh... Why did I even ask?" The author wondered aloud.
"Well, since the police will be after you and you OBVIOUSLY can't handle a little fun OUTSIDE, I guess you'll have to go INSIDE..."
"Why don't you just end the chapter?" Dilly asked in annoyance.
"Not long enough! And besides, I have EVIL plans for you guys!" The author grinned wickedly, and with a wave of her hands, they were in a stadium in some place.
"Where are we?" Van asked.
"Well, based on my studies, I'd say we were in a stadium in some place." Dryden replied, as the sweatdropping author disappeared.
"HELLO SOME PLACE!" The announcer screamed to the shrieking crowd.
"TONIGHT, WE HAVE WHAT YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR!"
"REALLY?!" The crowd yelled back.
"I've been waiting for that new toaster oven I ordered!" A random man responded.
"WELL, TOO BAD! THIS IS NOT, MAY I REPEAT, NOT, A TOASTER OVEN!"
"OH!" The crowd replied dejectedly.
"Well that sucks..." A random man commented.
"BUT IT'S THE NEXT BEST THING! I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE CLAW, FANG, AND..." Thousands of fangirls held their breath in anticipation.
"RHUM! AND TOGETHER THEY FORM..."
"THE RAPPING WOLFMEN!" The crowd shrieked in hyperness.
"WRONGO!" The crowd went silent and the chirping crickets seemed very loud.
"JUST KIDDING!"
"OH! OKAY!" The crowd replied, cheering loudly again.
"Yo Yo Yo! Word up my peeps! Before the show tonight, we're gonna have karaoke and a surprise opening act!"
"So if any of y'all want to come up and sing, then the wolfmen say be our guest! Word!"
Ruhm and the others left to the disapproval of the fangirls who began to weep. The Esca cast smiled in a dangerous way before lining up, the only ones willing to volunteer.
The order was as followed:
Van
Merle
Dilandau
Dryden
Hitomi
Millerna
Folken
Dornkirk
Naria and Eriya
Allen
Van stepped up to the microphone and Ruhm's girls oohed and ahhed over the kawaii bishonen to Hitomi's rage as she hissed.
"Everybody's got something, they had to leave behind,
One regret from yesterday, that just seems to grow with time,
There's no use looking back, oh wondering,
How it could be now, oh might have been,
Oh this I know, but still I can't find ways to let you go...
I never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby,
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be with you.
Somewhere in my memory I've lost all sense of time,
And tomorrow can never be cos yesterday is all that fills my mind,
There's no use looking back, oh wondering,
How it should be now, oh might have been,
Oh this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go..." Suddenly, the announcer came out and pulled Van off the stage because this could last all day.
"Oh Van-chan, you're sooooooooooo romantic!" Hitomi squeaked, kissing him as Merle pulled him onto the stage, dragging Hitomi along with him and commencing in a tug-of war battle.
Hitomi commenced in a song that technically was supposed to be Merle's but the audience didn't really care enjoying the cat fight (no pun intended) on stage.
"Give it all you got girl
Give it all you got
You can take your chance
And take your best shot
Say what you want girl
Do what you do
He's never gonna, gonna make it with you
Pulling petals off a flower
Trying to get your way
Keep pulling till it says what you want it to say
Girl you can pick a field of daisies
But he'd still be my baby
I know you can hardly wait till I'm away from him
Instinctively I know what you're thinking
You'll be giving him an open invitation
But my baby won't be taking in, no
You can pout your cherry lips
Or tempt him with a sweet kiss
You can flut your pretty eyes
He ain't got his hands tied
No chains to unlock
So free to do what he wants
He's into what he's got
He loves me, he loves you not
No matter what you do
He's never going be with you
He's into what he's got
He loves me, He loves you not
You're the kind of girl who always up for do or dare
Only want him because he's there
Always looking for a new ride
The grass is greener on the other side
You're the kind of girl who's not use to hearing no
All your lovers try to take you where you wanna go
doesn't matter how hard you try
Never gonna get with my guy
No chains to unlock
So free to do what he wants
He's into what he's got
He loves me, he loves you not
No matter what you do
He's never going be with you
He's into what he's got
He loves me, He loves you not
Doesn't matter what you do
He's never going to be with you
Give it all girl, Give it all you got
Take a chance, and take your best shot
Say what you want girl
Do what you do
He's never gonna make it with you
You can pout your cherry lips
Or try to tempt him with a sweet kiss
You can flut your pretty eyes
He ain't got his hands tied
No chains to unlock
So free to do what he wants
He's into what he's got
He loves me, he loves you not
No matter what you do
He's never going be with you
He's into what he's got
He loves me, He loves you not..."
"WANNA BET DITZ?!" Merle shrieked.
"LADIES! PLEASE!" Van pleaded as his bones snapped. He was then promptly dropped, nobody really knew why; it just seemed like the thing to do at the time.
Dilly's turn eventually came, much to the dread of the cast and the author.
"If you criticize my song, you shall BURN!" Dilly shrieked. This quickly got the audience's attention and everyone sat in silence.
"Just wild beat communication
Ame ni utare na gara
Iroasenai atsui omoi
Karada jyuu de tsutaetai yo tonight!
Nureta sono kata wo atatameru you ni daita
Furueteru yubisaiki ha nani wo motomesama you no
Togire togire demo tsutaete hoshii itami wo
Sameta furi suru koto de otona ni nante narenai
Anata no manazashi momoritai
Kanashimi tsuyosa ni kaeru ai wo shinjite
Just wild beat communication
Nani mo osorenaide
Kanjiaeru toshikana ima dare ni mo ubaenai kara
Just wild beat communication
Ame ni utare na gara
Iroasenai atsui omoi
Karada jyuu de tsutaetai yo tonight!
Tooi yoake made yori sotte sugoshitai yo
Nani mo ka mo nakushitemo yasashisa dake na kusazuni
Kotoba yori Kiss de tagai no kodou kanjite
Jyou netsu wo hiki yo seru isshun dakedo ei en…
Setsunaku hageshiku mitsumetai
Nakitai kurai ni anata dake ga itoshii
Just wild beat communication
Nani mo yuzura naide
Wakari aeru hito ga ireba
Tatakau koto dekiru kara
Just wild beat communication
Ai wo hanasa naide
Afure dashita atsui sugao
Motsureta mune toki hanatte tonight!
Just wild beat communication
Nani mo osorenaide
Kanjiaeru toshikana ima dare ni mo ubaenai kara
Just wild beat communication
Ame ni utare na gara
Iroasenai atsui omoi
Karada jyuu de tsutaetai yo tonight!"
"What the heck was THAT about?" Van demanded in annoyance.
"Hey, I sing it after all!" Dilly commented, turning his back to Fanelia's king.
(A/N: I remember I read on a Dilandau site that the woman that voices Dilandau in Japanese is the same lady who sings "Just Communication" for Gundam Wing. I have no idea if I got this right... I'm not a HUGE GW fan, although I must admit it's a pretty cool anime... I love Trowa! ^^;)
Dryden sang some annoying love ballad that nobody paid much attention to, for it was much like his speeches. Long and boring. Millerna humphed in annoyance and batted her eyelashes flirtatiously at Allen who grimaced and turned away.
"How can you BAT you're eyelashes?" Dilly asked out of the blue.
"Does that mean you hit them with a baseball bat or something?"
(A/N: SHUT UP DILLY! OR I'LL MAKE YOU SING... * Whispers in his ear *)
"Oh god no..." Dilly paled, scampering away.
Hitomi then stepped up, Van grinning, waiting for the obvious love song she was about to perform after his sappy... I mean spirited song from earlier...
Hitomi:
"I love and I need you
Nelly, I love you, I do
Need you
No matter what I do
All I think about is you
Even when I'm with my Boo
Boy, you know I'm crazy over you
No matter what I do
All I think about is you
Even when I'm with my Boo
You know I'm crazy over you!"
"WHO'S NELLY?!" Van demanded.
Suddenly, Nelly randomly fell from the sky for some reason unknown to the author and began to sing along...
Nelly:
"Uh-uh-uh-uh
I met this chick and she just moved right up the block from me
And she got the hots for me, the finest thing I need to see
But oh, no, no, she got a man and a son, oh-oh, but that's okay
'Cause I wait for my cue and just listen, play my position
Like a shortstop, pick up e'rything mami hittin'
And in no time I better make this friend mine and that's for sure
'Cause I-I never been the type to break up a happy home
But there's something 'bout baby girl, I just can't leave her 'lone
So tell me, ma, what's it gonna be
She said, "You don't know what you mean to me," come on..."
"HEY NOW!" Van interrupted, not liking how things were going.
Hitomi:
"No matter what I do
All I think about is you
Even when I'm with my Boo
Boy, you know I'm crazy over you
No matter what I do
All I think about is you
Even when I'm with my Boo
You know I'm crazy over you!"
Nelly:
"Midwest, you're still swingin' rightUh-uh-uh-uh
I see a lot in your look and I never say a word
I know how n****s start actin' trippin' , and hate up all the girls
And there's no way Nelly go for it
Ain't f***in' with no dame, as you could see
But I-I like your steeze, your style, your whole demeanor
The way you come through and holler, and swoop me in his two-seater
Now that's gangsta and I got special ways to thank ya, don't you forget it
But it ain't that easy for you to back up and leave him
But you and me we got ties for different reasons
I respect that and right before I turned to leave
She said, "You don't know what you mean to me," come on..."
"WHO'S NELLY?!" Van shrieked again.
Hitomi:
"No matter what I do
All I think about is you
Even when I'm with my Boo
Boy, you know I'm crazy over you
No matter what I do
All I think about is you
Even when I'm with my Boo
You know I'm crazy over you
Sing it for me, K
I love and I need you
Nelly, I love you, I do
And it's more than you'll ever know
Boy, it's for sure
You can always count on my love
Forever more, yeah, yeah..."
"IT'S VAN! MY NAME IS VAN!" Van screamed in fury.
Nelly:
"East coast, I know you're shakin' right
Down south, I know you're bouncin' right
West coast, I know you're walkin' right
('Cause you don't know what you mean to me)
Midwest, I see you swingin' right..."
Hitomi:
"No matter what I do
All I think about is you
Even when I'm with my Boo
Boy, you know I'm crazy over you
No matter what I do
All I think about is you
Even when I'm with my Boo
You know I'm crazy over you..."
"THAT'S IT!"
Van abruptly leaped upon Nelly, attempting to strangle him with his scrawny arms and the rapper's face turned blue.
"SUTOPPU, VAN!" Hitomi shrieked.
Van looked up from the gasping rap star.
"Come again?"
(A/N: She says, "STOP, VAN!")
"Oh, Okay..." He dropped the rap star and muttered how she needed to learn the Van language.
(A/N: For those of you who * GASP * DON'T know the Van language, go to http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=374255 and you shall learn something speciaful! ^_^)
"Let's do lunch sometime! K, Nelly! Love ya, buh-bye!" Hitomi called to the rap star crawling off the stage.
Van chased after him and there could be a lot of swearing could be heard for miles around.
Allen's stomach turned as Millerna took the mic, winking at him.
"You're a song
Written by
The hands of God
Don't get me wrong 'cuz
This might sound
To you a bit odd
But you're the place
Where all my thoughts
Go hiding
And right under your clothes
Is where I find them!"
"Life is so cruel..." Allen muttered as Millerna continued to wink at him like something was caught in her eye.
"Underneath your clothes
There's an endless story
There's the man I chose
There's my territory
And of all the things
I deserve
For being such
A good girl honey!"
"Good girl? Please..." Allen mumbled.
"Because of you
I forgot the
Smart ways to lie
Because of you
I'm running out of
Reasons to cry
When the friends are gone
When the party's over
We'll still belong
To each other
Underneath your clothes
There's an endless story
There's the man I chose
There's my territory
And of all the things
I deserve
For being such
A good girl honey
I love you more than all that's on the planet
Movin' talkin' walkin' breathing
You know it's true
Oh baby it's so funny
You almost don't believe it
As every voice is hanging from the silence
Lamps are hanging from the ceiling
Like a lady tied to her manners
I'm tied up to this feeling
Underneath your clothes
There's an endless story
There's the man I chose
There's my territory
And all the things I deserve
For being such a good girl honey
Underneath your clothes
There's an endless story
There's the man I chose
There's my territory
And all the things I deserve
For being such a good girl honey!"
"This song is dedicated to my Allen-poo! We're gonna get married as soon as I can kill... I mean, divorce Dryden! Thank you! I love you all!" This last thought disturbed the audience as the pink powderpuff skipped off the stage.
Folkie stepped up to the microphone, adjusting it about a foot higher.
"He's mocking me..." Van growled, still enraged from the Nelly encounter.
"I cannot sing. In fact, I REFUSE to sing..." Folkie began.
"So, I shall yodel!" He grinned and everyone sweatdropped.
"Yodel-eh-he! Yodel-eh-he! Yodel-eh-HE-HOO!"
"THAT'S ENOUGH OF THAT!" Hitomi proclaimed, pulling him off the stage to everyone's applause, relieved to be free of the blue-haired yodeler.
"Aw! Van! Your stupid girlfriend cut me off before I could sing my encore!" Folken whined.
"Whatever..." Van muttered, as he began to clean his sword, rolling his eyes.
Dornkirk crawled to the mic and sang a very depressing song as follows:
"As I walk the streets I feel no pain,
there is no love or hate, can¹t see no certain state I¹m in.
And a hog laid itself on my heart
like this misty morning as this cloudy day begins.
Still I wonder should I be afraid
about what¹s happening and how long has it been - don¹t know.
Why did come this shadow in my head
like I have lost my soul, like I¹m alive but dead.
As I walk the streets I feel no fear,
although I notice that there is no feeling anymore.
And I try to send my mind back to the times
when I was able to live something to the core.
Dark, dark as the grave, my heart is dead,
I¹m just a slave to what they¹ve said. (this decay)
Still I¹m alive but I feel dead.
Dark, dark as the grave, my heart is dead
I¹m just a slave to when you call. (my disease)
Still I¹m alive but I must be dead.
Alive but dead
can¹t fill my head
Darkness, there¹s darkness everywhere
You gotta help me out of here,
I don¹t want to stay alive without the capability to feel!"
"Okay then..." Folkie muttered sweatdropping.
"Naria and Eriya! You're up next!"
The catgirls scampered out on the stage in their vegetable costumes, earning them a lot of stares.
"HIT IT ERIYA!" Naria shrieked.
"Hit what?" Eriya asked. Naria sweatdropped.
"Oh yeah! Start the song! I knew that!" Eriya grinned, sweatdropping before twirling the mic.
"If you like to talk to tomatoes,
If a squash can make you smile,
If you like to waltz with potatoes,
up and down the produce aisle!
Then have we got a show for you!" The catgirls grinned as the audience groaned.
"Veggie Tales! Veggie Tales! Veggie Tales! Veggie Tales!"
"Broccoli! Celery! Gotta be, Veggie Tales!"
"There's never ever ever ever ever ever ever been a show like Veggie Tales!"
"Amen..." Folken mumbled.
"There's never ever ever ever ever ever ever been a show like Veggie Tales!"
"It's time for Veggie Taaaaaaaaalllllllllllllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssss!" Confetti shot out from the ceiling as they smiled broadly.
"Just hang in there folks! Last song!" Folkie reassured the poor audience who just wanted to see some wolfmen rap.
"Well this is what you've been waiting for!" Allen announced, grinning.
"Oh no..." Folkie muttered.
"I PREDICT DOOM AND DREAD AND DISGUST!" Hitomi announced.
"Well that was a given..." Van mumbled as they turned to watch the show.
"Hot in.....
So hot in herre.....
So hot in.....
I was like, good gracious ass bodacious
Flirtatcious, tryin to show patience
Lookin for the right time to shoot my steam (you know)
Lookin for the right time to flash them keys
Then um I'm leavin, please believin
Me and the rest of my heathens
Check it, got it locked at the top of the four seasons
Penthouse, roof top, birds I feedin
No deceivin, nothin up my sleeve, no teasin
I need you to get up up on the dance floor
Give that man what he askin for
Cuz I feel like bustin loose and I feel like touchin you
And cant nobody stop the juice so baby tell me whats the use
(I said)
Its gettin hot in here (so hot)
So take off all your clothes!"
"I am gettin so hot, I wanna take my clothes off!" Millerna sang along to Allen's horror.
"EWWWWWWWWWWWW! PERVERT!" All the girls in the audience and the Esca gals (minus Millerna and Hitomi... -_-;) shrieked, pelting him with tomatoes and such.
"YUM!" Allen licked the tomato off his face.
"Anyways," said the announcer, clearing the cast off the stage.
"In several minutes, we shall begin the opening act..."
The Esca crew sat back down in their seats and everyone noticed that Van had popcorn.
"Oh Van, honey, give me some popcorn..." Hitomi begged the boy on her left.
"But Hitomi..." I don't have any popcorn... And how'd you get over there?" Van asked in confusion.
It was then that everyone noticed there were two of them.
"Omigosh!" The Hitomis shrieked, giggling as they jumped up and down in glee.
"Am I really that fat?" The FB Millerna asked, pointing at her counterpart.
"LIKE OMIGOD! HOW RUDE!" The alternate Millerna shrieked, attacking the FB one.
"Hey! I look good!" The Allens noticed, admiring themselves.
"Together, we can get our Vans back..." The Merles plotted, grinning devilishly.
"What the heck's going on?!" The Vans demanded.
"Hiya!" The author slid down a rope from the ceiling.
"How'd WE get here?!" The alternate Esca cast asked.
Suddenly, Fontina Blu Cent slid down the rope, landing besides Trunks Gal. It was a foreboding site and the Dillys and the Allens shuddered.
"SORA!" The alternate Dilly shrieked, glomping the other author.
"Anyways, we thought it would be nice if all of you guys met before... the end..." Trunks Gal spoke solemnly.
"YOU'RE ENDING OUR FIC?!" Hitomi shrieked in horror.
"Yes... You know, the funding isn't as it was..." The cast's mouths were agape in disbelief.
"PSYCH!" The author fell over laughing and the crew sent her death glares.
"Anyways, enjoy the show!"
They vanished and the announcer came back out.
"NOW... I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE... THE COUNTRY BEARS!"
The Alternate Esca crew visibly shuddered.
"What's wrong babe?" FB Van asked alternate Hitomi.
"PLAYBOY!" FB Hitomi shrieked.
"WHAT? Did somebody call me?" The Allens popped up.
Ignoring her counterpart, alternate Hitomi shivered.
"Bears... Not rustic bears... Country Bears... Field trip... Frizzle..."
"I'm afraid..." The Allens muttered as the Millernas cuddled them, they broke free and ran towards the stage.
"ALLEN! COME BACK!" The Millernas shrieked.
The Millernas ran up as the Allens ran past the back-flipping bears. Suddenly, the bear flicked them and they stepped back, sobbing.
"THEY BROKE MY NAIL!" The Millernas screamed.
The preppies of the audience rose us shrieking a war cry, before attacking the bears and sending them all to the emergency room as cheers from the alternate Esca peeps ensued.
"Well umm... I guess there goes ONE opening act..." The announcer said nervously.
"Everybody give it up for Simon and Milo!"
A guitar-playing blonde and a neckless, noseless, midget came out.
"I gotta tell you there is something going on now… The clothes I bought, the friend I got, my teacher had a meltdown…"
"Then I look at me, and I start to see, that something happens when I'm next to you…"
"GET A CLUE! There's nothing you can't DOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOTHING'S EVER QUITE WHAT IT SEEMS! JUST LOOK A LITTLE CLOSER AT ME! WAKE UP, IT'S ME, IT'S YOU, GET A CLUE…"
The Millernas were bewildered and began to protest.
"Oh my god… He has NO neck…" FB Millerna shrieked.
"And oh my gosh… What a cheap dye job!" Alternate Millerna commented, pointing at his blue hair.
The Millernas led to boos and hisses before the annoying "things" were carted away.
"SO WHO'S GONNA BE THE OPENING ACT NOW?!" The announcer screamed in annoyance.
(A/N: I KNOW! I KNOW! PICK ME!)
"Yes, the blonde in the sky!"
(A/N: * Waves her hands and a piano falls from the sky. A teen lands in the seat, flustered and unsure of what's going on… * )
"OMIGOSH! IT'S VANESSA CARLTON!" The announcer shrieked in excitement.
The author fell from the sky and landed by her idol.
"GIMME YOUR AUTOGRAPH! OH PLEASE! I'M YOUR #1 FAN! I HAVE "A THOUSAND MILES ON THREE CDS! I KNOW ALL YOUR SONGS! I…"
"Excuse me little girl, but please leave Ms. Carlton alone until AFTER the song…"
"LITTLE?!" The author shrieked in rage.
"DIE!!!" A blast came from her hands, frying the announcer.
"Cool!" Dilly commented, giving her the thumb's up sign.
She fumed with rage for a few minutes before plopping to the ground before the song began.
"Just a day Just an ordinary day Just trying to get by Just a boy Just an ordinary boy But he was looking to the sky And as he asked if I would come along I started to realize That everyday he finds just what he's looking for Like a shooting star he shines and he said Take my hand Live while you can Don't you see your dreams are riding in the palm of your hand…" The couples in the audience began making out, including FB Van with alternate Hitomi.
"GET OFF HIM YOU HUSSY!" FB Hitomi shrieked, knocking alternate Hitiomi down the stairs and taking her place with Van. And as he spoke he spoke ordinary words Although they did not fail Now for I felt what I have not felt before And you'd swear those words could heal And as I looked up into those eyes His vision borrows mine And to know he's no stranger For I feel I've held him for all of time And he said Take my hand live while you can Don't you see your dreams are riding in the palm of your hand (In the) In the palm of your hand (oh) (oh) The Millernas tried to get the Allens to kiss them, but the Drydens intervened. Dornkirk sat, as did the Dilandaus since Sora was nowhere nearby. The Folkens blinked in sync. (A/N: AUGH! *NSYNC! DDDDDDDDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!) "Please come with me See what I see Touch the stars for Time will not flee Time will not flee And you'll see…" "Let me taste Lord Folken's lips…" Naria whispered to Eriya. "NOT THIS AGAIN!" Eriya shrieked, running away from her sister. (A/N: EEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWW! x_x) "Just a dream Just an ordinary dream As I wake in bed And the boy, that ordinary boy Was it all in my head And he asked if I would come along It all seemed so real But as I looked to the door I saw that boy Standing there with that deal And he said take my hand Live while you can Don't you see your dreams are riding in the palm of your hand (In the) In the palm of your hand (In the) In the palm of your hand Just a day Just an ordinary day Just trying to get by Just a boy Just an ordinary boy But he was looking to the sky…"
The prettiful song ended and Vanessa disappeared, BEFORE the author could get her autograph. Tragedy had struck once again.
The show began and the Merles started shrieking in glee for the love of Ruhm, as did the Millernas, against the Drydens' approval.
It was just then that the police cars drove up and carted the cast away, Hitomi shrieking "I DEMAND TO HEAR MY RIGHTS!"
The Millernas and Millernas screamed, "RUHM! SAVE US!" But their cries were drowned out by the crowd.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"You strange Esca people, are under arrest for the intentional burning of Mrs. I'm-a-Nice-Lady's house and the death…" He paused, wiping away a tear and sniffling.
"… of Mrs. I'm-a-Nice-Lady, herself… You are sentenced to a lifetime in jail… TOODLES!" The policeman ran away.
Everyone gave FB Millerna an accusing look.
"WHAT?!" She shrieked.
"BUT ALLEN! I LOOK FAT IN STRIPES!" The Millernas whined in the jail cell.
"You always look fat…" The Allens muttered.
"Marry me Hitomi?" Van asked out of the blue.
"Why not, I'll chip our rings out of this wall!" Hitomi got a chisel and began to hammer.
Folken bonked his head along with the other Folken and the Drydens caught up on some light reading. "War and Peace" to be exact. After a few hours and a lot of chiseling, the police-dude released them.
"You have these ladies to thank…" He muttered about painkillers and retirement in two years as they stepped out.
"SORA! I KNEW YOU'D SAVE ME!" Alternate Dilly shrieked in glee.
"HEY! What's with Dilly?"
"Don't get her started…" FB Dilly murmured.
"Anyways you guys really screwed up! We had to bail you out with green donuts and cookies and now Katie and I shall die from sugar-deprivation!" Trunks Gal screamed in frustration. The other cast and Katie vanished.
"Since you idiots are now "dangerous felons," you need to be punished… So guess where YOU'RE going?" She handed Van a letter.
"Dr. Touchy Feelings Guy…" He then scanned his eyes on everything below and his eyes widened with horror.
"HE'S A PSYCHIATRIST!" Hitomi shrieked in horror, reading over his shoulder.
"YEP! AND YOU'RE APPOINTMENT'S RIGHT NOW!" She beamed and vanished as they appeared in Dr. Touchy Feelings Guy's office with a collective shudder.
"This won't end well…" Folkie muttered, foretelling the doom to come…
The End
(Nowhere in the near future…)
A/N: Well, that's the end of this part of the Folkie's Birthday saga… Next, we shall have the two chapter long Psychiatrist story… Beware… Our Esca characters are headed for a wild ride… I'd like 60 reviews total please! Arigatou and Sayonara! ^_^
~Trunks Gal~