Forbidden Emotions

By Hannio

Chapter3

Discovery

DISCLAIMER: I don't own them, they are not mine. I can't draw them, I can only imagine situations so how can they be mine.

AUTHOR NOTE: Her's the next time. I'll be honest I've written most of the series for this and So, thankfully, have less strain... You'd think except my best friend is always on about it, but I can take it... No I can't make her stop make her stop (Looks around nervously) anyway hope you enjoy it, I know she will... Well she'd better.

"Where you off to Heero?" Heero's eyes closed in frustration as Duo's voice spoke. He had hoped that he could get away without any of the others bothering him. That was the way he liked it. The thought of always having to explain himself to people was something he didn't like doing. Ss far as he was concerned it was none of their business. However, fate had a way of making things impossible for him, almost as if it was mocking him by showing how little influence he had on the way things were run. "Hello Earth to Heero I asked you a question where you going?" Duo's voice took a sly tone on "Going off to secretly meet Releena?" he asked. Heero turned round and gave the Baka his best death glare and it had the desired affect he wanted it to as Duo's eyes widened and he backed away a few steps. His hands coming up in a defensive fashion. "Whoa whoa whoa Heero it was just a joke you know HaHa. I was only kidding around" Heero turned back trying to block the sound of his voice out of his head. His frowned to himself. The only reason he hadn't killed Releena yet was simply because deep deep down a small part of him craved the idea of pure unconditional peace. Where no fighting would be necessary and no one would have to go through what he had to in the name of Peace. Pure pacifism such a noble idea but that all it was an idea, it was out of reach and unattainable no matter what Releena Peacecraft may believe. "What is up with you Heero? I'm just asking you where you're going what's the big secret I mean what do you think I'm gonna to do?" he questioned. "Go straight to OZ and tell them that you're about to attack them and to prepare for it... Come on you can trust me you know"

"I trust no-one" he replied automatically, then gave himself a mental slap. Duo was impossible to ignore no matter how hard you tried, he had a way of getting under your skin and making you say things you had no intention of revealing. Duo watched his closed expression for a second with an unusually serious expression on his own than he causally spoke

"Really.... Why's that then?" he questioned hoisting himself onto Heero's desk and leaning his elbows on his knees. Heero growled and clenched his fist slightly as anger washed through him. Why couldn't they all just leave him the hell alone just like he left them alone, why did they constantly try to interfere and get to know him? It just wasn't right. He was a monster he didn't deserve anything but death.

"Because they're your friends and that's what friends do, care for each other and try to help each other out" a small voice whispered in his head making him listen to it, a frown came to his face once again. He was the perfect solider and friends didn't mix in with that equation. Friends led to weakness simply because you spent time worrying about their health and how they are coping then what you need to do to complete the mission. If he allowed the other four to get close than he knew that it would lead down a destructive path. That would lead not only to his but also there destruction and he couldn't allow that to happen not when they were more important then that. He blinked coming back to reality with a jolt and glanced out the corner of his eyes to see duo still watching him waiting patiently for his reply, his show tapping against the side in a beat that only he could hear.

"Because.... Anything could happen if you trust people, you're more likely to die if you rely on others" he replied finally before looking away. He shouldn't of said that, he should of just ignored Duo and carried on with what he was doing. He was going soft.

"No you're just becoming Human again" the voice in his head said, growing stronger with each uttered word "You're beginning to feel emotion again, that's good" Heero shook his head, it was bad t let his emotions take charge. An image of Doctor J came to his head and with it the lecture he had received countless of times as a young child.

"Emotions are nothing but an ineffective way to achieve weakness, they make you soft and more vulnerable. To be truly strong and the perfect solider these emotions must be banished and crushed before they develop too much, only when you have achieved that can you truly become a solider to be proud of" his eyes narrowed. He would be strong enough to survive. Doctor J was right, emotions led to mistakes, and mistakes led to death and Death... Well he'd cross that bridge when he came to it.

"I'm not attacking Oz," he said finally seeing the way Duo's shoulders slumped in relief. He grabbed the disk with all the information on it and grabbed his gun then he was ready. He closed his eyes for a brief second saying a silent prayer for strength. Then opened them to see duo standing right in front of him a surprised look about him.

"So you're not attacking Oz" he repeated brining a hand to his head "Then who the hell are you after?" he asked a probing tone to his voice. Heero ignored him walking out of the door; he was psyched and ready now, ready to destroy the bastards who hurt Trowa in his youth. He stopped that train of thought straight away. He couldn't think like that, anything like that. He was going to destroy Trowa; he would soon be nothing but a memory. A small feeling of uneasiness sprung itself up in his stomach at he thought but he carried on ignoring the image of Trowa that came up in his head. He needed to get out of this place where they all were. Where he was beginning to think he belonged that led to problems and this growing hesitancy over Trowa was soon going to affect him and be the death of him. He had forgotten about Duo until he spoke, breaking through his thoughts. "Ok if you're not attacking Oz then you must be targeting something equally as big that you would hold a grudge against even if you didn't realise it"

"Duo" Heero's voice took on a warning tone to it. He didn't want them to know about the true intent of his mission. If they knew he was going to kill Trowa then they would do anything in their power to stop him and he didn't want to kill them. He groaned inwards again, it was that sort of weakness he was talking about. All that was important was completing the mission regardless of who got killed. If they died then it would be nothing to him, except it was. Duo went on expressing his ideas regardless of Heero's tone or the darkened look on his face.

"I would say that you would go after the doctor, because you do have a reason for hating them but I don't see that happening, in the future perhaps but now. No I don't see it, and I know it's not Oz so the only conclusion I can gather would be that you were planning on attacking another huge organisation, that us Gundam Pilots were somehow connected to." He said thoughtfully keeping up with Heero's quick walk. After a second, the thoughtful expression on his face vanished to be replaced by a look of worry and amazement. "No way, not even you would.... Would you?" he finished on a questioning note. Heero glanced at him as he pulled open the heavy door leading to the Gundam storage area and entered, raising an eyebrow at Duo. "Heero now tell me you're not attacking the Barton association, tell me my imagination has gone into over time again. I mean come on not even you would take on an organisation as huge as that with just your Gundam... It wouldn't even be madness it would be suicide... Not that you'll care about that aspect on it," he said amusement entering his voice at the last point. Heero didn't reply as he typed his password on the main controls activating his Gundam's security panels and allowing him to undo the safety procedures "Oh God I'm right aren't I... You must of seriously finally flipped it upstairs" he commented tapping his head "I mean that organisation is bigger than Oz to kill everything connected to it would..." he stopped as a thought struck him and his eyes widened. He turned fully to look at the cold silent figure who was walking to his Gundam. "Heero" he shouted after him "Trowa's part of the Barton association are you just gonna kill him to after everything we've all been through you're gonna kill him?" Heero strapped himself into the seat and switched everything on. He sat for a minute thinking over what Duo had just said to him than his eyes narrowed as he spoke in a voice clear of emotions

"My mission is to destroy everything to do with the Barton Association regardless of whether they are connection now or in the past. I'll kill all of them" than he hit the switch dropping the cover in front of him, blocking the view of a shocked Duo from his sight. He took a deep breath and glanced at his hands in amazement "Why am I shaking?" he asked himself than shook his head, switching into bird mode and flying into the darkness.

There you go I hope you enjoyed it, please review but no flames, anything else is a big yes though. Chapter 4 will be up ASAP (Glances at gun against head) promise.