Forbidden Emotion

By Hannio

Chapter 5

Decision made

DISCLAIMER: I own none of them, not one piece of them, not even a hair of one of them so there you go. If I did then.... You don't wanna know trust me on that

AUTHOR NOTE: My how my little fic is growing... I'm so proud... Here's chapter 5 and as the title suggests a decision has been made but what decision and which way??? Who knows, for all you know it could be the fact they all decided on what type of Pizza they want... It's official Hannio is losing her mind so just enjoy and hopefully I'll be saner by the next chapter. We hope.

As the explosion burst through the mobile suit Heero couldn't help but give out a laugh. It was over it had taken him a few days to destroy them because they were so far spread but it was over he had finally got revenge on those pricks who had hurt Trowa it was over, finally over. He stopped laughing at that thought. He still couldn't figure what to do over Trowa even after all this time.

The logical thing for him to do would be to destroy Trowa; he was the only person still alive connected to the Barton association. Once he was gone, the mission would finally be finished. No one knew what he was planning, except Duo and if need be then he would simply kill Duo to protect himself. Trowa couldn't live it was as simple as that. He had to die. Heero had never failed to complete a mission and he wasn't about to start now. That would lead to weakness. If he showed any softness over Trowa than he would begin to show softness to others and that would lead to him being killed and others being killed. He couldn't risk it. Trowa had to be destroyed to keep the world from falling apart.

He sighed as he turned his Gundam around and plotted a course for the place he considered his home. Even as he thought this, he couldn't see himself physically killing Trowa. Normally he had no problem in contemplating someone's death. He thought about it he could see himself killing Duo or Quatre but not Trowa and that worried him. He didn't know what was wrong with him recently, ever since he got injured, he had felt normal except when he was with Trowa than he felt calm and in a way needed. He had always been needed by doctor J but that was more because he was needed as a weapon to destroy his enemies, people he personally didn't have a grudge against, but who he was ordered to kill. Trowa made him almost feel as if he was needed as a person, which was something he had never experienced before. It was that feeling was making it impossible for him to kill Trowa. Somewhere alone the line, Trowa had gotten under his cover and protection and made him care for him.

"This is pointless," he said to himself the sound echoing round the room "I'm a solider. I don't feel and I don't care about Trowa Barton he's nothing to me just a person who needs to be destroyed." He slammed his fist against the side, letting his emotions come through for once, when no one could see him. "Why can't I kill him?" he yelled, than he stopped and closed his eyes. He was getting no where in this moral decision he was lost and there was no one he could talk to. "Maybe I could tell Doctor J that Trowa doesn't have to be killed but then he'd think I'm weak and bring me in for more training" his eyes widened as memories flooded him. There was no way in hell he was going back to that place or to have that happen again.

He opened his eyes to see the house and landed perfectly, when he jumped out he was greeted by Wufai who was standing by his Gundam. They looked at each other then turned away

"Good mission?" Wufai asked, Heero turned to look at him and Wufai replied to the look. "You've been gone for weeks do you really think people wouldn't notice?" he asked then shook his head

"It was ok" Heero replied coldly walking out of the room. Wufai puzzled him, his views seemed to conflict with what he did it was strange to Heero and deep down he wished that he could hold onto beliefs like his and fight for them, not because someone told him to. His stomach rumbled so he went to the kitchen. It annoyed him when he had to give into these cravings but recently it hadn't been bothering him, what had been bothering him was Trowa. He walked in and let a groan escape him as Duo looked up at him

"Heero have you reconsidered what you're going to do" Heero ignored him "Look stop it for once just talk to me"

"No" Heero replied, Duo gave a slight smile. It was a start

"Look man he's your mate you can't just casually walk up to him say hi Trowa and shoot him in the head" Heero shook his head

"He's not my mate. I don't have any" Duo gave him a look of pure amazement

"You can not honestly believe that can you?" he said "What utter rubbish. You have four friends now even if you don't see them like that. Wake up Heero and take yourself out of your I must destroy everything because I'm the perfect solider, routine. You don't have to be like that"

"What do you know?" Heero retorted walking out the door. He couldn't take it anymore all the tension the pain of going through this decision. Enough was enough; he was going to get it over and done with at the next mission. He was going to end it finally and kill Trowa Barton. It was the only way.

Oh dear we did not want that decision did we people. Well.... Except maybe Jenihenpen but she like Trowa being injured so she can daydream of nursing him back to health... Anyway, please review but no flames. Flames are evil. Any other kind is cool though and chapter 6 will be up ASAP trust me my life is at stake here (Glances at Jenihenpen reading a book on how to kill a person in 500 different ways and faints )