RULE 1: NEVER OFFEND AN AKAGI
Part 1 - Two Wishes This Time
The Next Morning...
Angelo and Li find Haruko helping Sean clean up the gym for practice later.
SEAN: Hey, thanks for helping me out. I'm buying breakfast. Want anything?
HARUKO: I'll just take a Pepsi.
Sean leaves. Li aims and hurls a smoke bomb. We'd like to mention here that Li stinks at long distance throwing. [Li: I do not! Angelo: wanna bet?]
SMOKE BOMB: BONK!
HARUKO: ACK!
LI: Oops.
ANGELO: No Tony Award for you.
The smoke bomb dinks to the floor without exploding. Angelo and Li run into the gym, where Haruko is on the floor groaning. Let's just say Li whacked her in - ahem - one of those places that earns you two tight slaps and an exploding A-bomb.
ANGELO: Hello.
HARUKO: wrnkrlnk.
LI: Allow us to introduce ourselves.
HARUKO: mmpfrmp.
ANGELO: We're genies!
LI: The best in Japan!
ANGELO: We've come to grant you one wish!
LI: Absolutely free!
HARUKO: urklr... Dead serious?
Angelo and Li nod.
HARUKO: Fine. I wish my YOINK here will stop hurting like YOINK.
Angelo and Li face fault, but grant her wish anyway. Seconds later, Haruko is sitting up and feeling much better.
ANGELO: That was totally lame.
LI: You said it.
ANGELO: We should have done something more drastic.
LI: Wait. I know!
Li walks up to Haruko.
LI: Hi! Guess what!
HARUKO: ?
LI: My friend and me were thinking. We're gonna give you another wish!
HARUKO: REALLY?
Li nods. Haruko goes all sparkly eyed and hugs him.
HARUKO: Oh thank you so much! How sweet of you!
Fighting back his need for air, Li winks at Angelo. Angelo gets the idea, grins and walks up also.
ANGELO: Okay! Go ahead!
HARUKO (drops Li): I wish Rukawa-kun will finally notice me and spend all his free time with me for the rest of his life!
ANGELO: ACE! HERE WE GO!
Angelo's fingers fly over the keys, and Haruko rapidly shrinks in a puff of smoke.
ANGELO (solemnly): You've hereby been turned into a basketball.
Haruko the basketball says nothing. Then again, basketballs can't talk. Angelo and Li run off in a hurry. Not too long afterwards, Sean comes back.
SEAN: Haruko-san! I got your Pepsi! Haruko-san?
HARUKO: .............
SEAN: Must have gone early for class or something. Ah well...
Sean puts down his food and the Pepsi. Then he notices the orange rubber ball sitting in the middle of the court. He looks at his watch.
SEAN: Shoot, why not? I can always clean up again after I'm done!
Sean runs to his locker, and comes back with 10 plastic bottles. He lines them up at one end of the gym, grabs the ball and rolls it towards them.
SEAN: And the crowd goes wild! It's another strike! Sensational Sean gets ready for ROUND TWO!
Sucks to be in Haruko's place right now.
Part 2 - The Silverback Defends His Young
Two Hours Later...
Angelo and Li run slap bang into a very tall guy, a.k.a. Akagi the Gori.
ANGELO: Eep! Ano...Hi!
AKAGI: You two aren't high school students. What are you doing here?
ANGELO: We're genies, the best in Japan, coming to grant you one wish absolutely free?
LI: Hey! Angie, you stole my lines!
ANGELO: Don't call me Angie! I'm a boy, dadgummit!
AKAGI: Ahem. Right. So you will grant me whatever I want?
LI: Yup.
AKAGI: Okay. I wish for a 1/2 hour loan of your typewriter.
ANGELO & LI: !!!!!!!!!
AKAGI (glare of death): Well?
ANGELO: *GULP* Wish granted!
Akagi takes Typewriter-sama and starts typing. Angelo and Li promptly vanish in a puff of smoke. Akagi, satisfied with the result, takes a basketball out of his bag, sets it on the floor, and types again. The ball turns back into his beloved little imouto.
AKAGI: Haruko, your mindless obsessions have gotten you into enough trouble, so I hereby banish you from the gym for the next seven years.
HARUKO: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! OH CRUEL FATE! WHY?! WHHHYYYYYYYYYYYY?!
Part 3 - Cruel Retribution
On the floor, one brown fur ball and one black fur ball get up and notice each other.
LI: Say, what happened?
ANGELO (solemnly): We've hereby been turned into Chihuahuas.
LI: ?
ANGELO: But don't panic. I'll think of something.
Li apparently doesn't care, and starts to sniff anything and everything. Angelo scuttles to a now gigantic Typewriter-sama.
ANGELO: Thank Heavens! He left the typewriter! We're saved!
Li continues to sniff.
ANGELO: Li! Look! Our salvation has come!
Li looks up, then he walks up to the typewriter.
Li sniffs the typewriter delicately.
Li circles the typewriter three times.
Then he lifts his hind leg and pisses on the typewriter.
ANGELO: AUGH! WHATDIDYOUDOTHATFORYOU...you... ano... YOUYOINKMOTHEROFYOINKINGYOINK!
LI: Do you even know what that means?
ANGELO: No, but the monkey does. Li, I take back what I said earlier.
LI: You do?
ANGELO: Yup. Panic!
} * {
Are we doomed to be dogs for eternity?
To be continued...
A & L