Never Again Separate

By Cypher

Chapter Ten

Simon slammed the door to his foster home and stormed inside.

"Camden! Don't slam the door."

"F-off!" Simon didn't care about the door. He didn't care what this foster mother wanted. He had finished caring about anything a long time ago.

He went into his room and collapsed on his bed, a mere cot with sheets and ratty pillow. He pulled out the watch and glared at it. He had paid for it, and he had tried to lecture him about taking it. Why did HE have to come back into my life.

Matt Camden.

Simon threw the watch across the room, watching it smash against the wall. He had stolen the watch for himself, but now it was tainted by his interference, and Simon didn't want anything from him. He was the reason Simon's life sucked. He was the reason he had lived in Hell for the past eight years.

He was Matt Camden, his damnable brother.

Simon blamed Matt for throwing him to the system without any support. Matt had abandoned him, had left him to fend for himself. And now he just comes back into my life and thinks he can take over where he left off?

Simon didn't want Matt back. He felt justified when he told Matt he was eight years too late. Simon had been left to fend for himself, first orphaned by his parents, then abandoned by his brother. I survived without any of them. I don't need them. I don't want them. Especially him.

Back when he was five, the concept of death was still vague to him, but when he saw his parents' funeral, when he saw the caskets with their bodies enter the ground, he understood. He had lost his parents, and had latched onto the only other person he totally trusted, totally depended on for guidance.

His older brother, Matt.

At first he was still hurt, but he figured he could survive if Matt and his sisters were with him. Then, one by one, they vanished, taken from him to be placed in another family, a new life. But Matt had remained. Matt had stayed with him, had promised that they'd be together no matter what, and that soon a family would adopt them.

But as time went on, the empty promises took their toll on Simon, and he began to lose his faith. In his brother, in God, in everything. He began to spend less time with Matt, to crawl into a shell as he'd seen his sister, Lucy, do.

And then Matt told him he had been adopted, and the shell around him shattered as he realized he was being left alone, abandoned. He still remembered the thoughts that went through his mind as he huddled in a closet.

How can you do this? You promised we'd always be together! You said you wouldn't leave me! Why can't you take me with you? Why are you leaving me? Do you think I'm a burden? What?

By the time Simon had made up his mind to find Matt, to ask if there was a way he could be adopted, he found Matt had left, and he had to be sent to Utah, where a prospective family might be.

And that's when he, Simon Camden, decided that God didn't care about him, about his family. He stopped crying over Matt, over his parents' death, over everything. He decided that if God didn't care, he didn't have to care. Over time that resolve became a realization that there was no God. God wouldn't punish him, his family like that. His father had been a minister. If a man of God wasn't saved by the being he preached for, then that being must not exist.

Simon had harbored his feelings inside, silently, but they lashed out in other, less direct ways. He didn't care if what he said upset someone, or if something was wrong. One family he had stayed with had taken him in, and he repaid them by stealing their money. In the past, when he was still naive and innocent, he'd have had a voice that told him stealing was wrong, that he should try and integrate into the family. But after all the time, all the events, that had occurred, that voice had long since died, along with his generosity and kindness.

Simon closed his eyes and rolled on his side, curling up slightly. Matt's the reason I went into that family. He's the reason I trusted that person. And he's the reason I was...was...

Simon shook his head violently, banishing the memory from his mind. Now look what he's done, made me remember that time. The year Simon turned twelve was another time Simon had tried to forget.

He opened his eyes, rubbing the backs of his fists against them. Damn it. I'm not going to cry. I hate him. I don't ever want to see him again. Simon tried rubbing his eyes again, but he felt moisture gathering anyway. It's probably a fluke that he ran into you. He doesn't care. He abandoned you, remember? He doesn't deserve your tears.

Despite all his arguments, despite all his feelings of resentment and anger, Simon could still feel tears gathering. Men don't cry, damn it! Stop it! Just stop it!

Crying also brought back his twelfth year as well. That had been the first time he had cried since Matt had left. He hadn't wanted to cry then, either, but when he started talking about it, the tears just came gushing out. They made Simon feel vulnerable, and he never wanted to feel vulnerable again.

Vulnerability is what caused the horror that year.

He had been placed in trial home in Wisconsin. It was a small, average family. Both parents worked, and they had two children. What drew Simon towards them, though, was their eldest child. Simon was only twelve, but the eldest child, eighteen year old Glenn, had taken him under his wing, took care of him. And for the first time in years, Simon let down the protective barriers he had placed within his mind.

Glenn was so much like Matt, part of the reason Simon had relaxed around him. Glenn was about six feet tall, with brown hair that he had grown shoulder length to annoy his parents. He was muscular, but not extremely, and he had been born with the warmest brown eyes Simon had seen in years.

And for the first few months, it was great. It seemed to Simon that he had finally found a family. He began smiling again, avoided his usual antics of shoplifting and pissing people off, and even tried harder at school to please his new older brother.

But it wasn't all that it seemed. It began with a few rough housing sessions where Simon thought Glenn's hand rested in certain places too long. From there it went to "friendly" touches and pats. Simon tried not to think about it too much, but when it became all out fondling he couldn't ignore it any more. He tried telling Glenn to stop, tried to fight him off, but he was too small, and Glenn had simply laughed.

Simon had refused to cry, even as Glenn's abuse continued. He couldn't tell the parents. For all he knew that's where Glenn learned the behavior. He didn't trust anyone at school enough to reveal this secret, and with his history, he was wary about going to authority figures. So for two more months, he suffered in silence, trying to avoid being alone with Glenn, locking his door, doing everything he could to stave off the molester.

Then, one day, when he had been walking home, a route different than the one Glenn took, he noticed a church on the corner. He hadn't been to a church in six years, and in fact made it a point to keep away from them as he no longer believed in a God. At this point in time, though, when he could turn no where else, he felt a calling to the church. A faint memory of Matt telling him of their dad helping people flashed across his mind, and before he knew it he was standing inside the church, feeling very much out of place and looking around nervously.

The reverend, a woman, thankfully picked up on his nervousness, and invited him into her office. It started simply with a name, general small talk and unimportant details. Then, after a moment's hesitation, he burst into tears and told her everything Glenn had done. He didn't even know how long he was in the office until she told him that he was welcome to spend the night at her house. She'd make up a lie to his foster parents, and the next day she'd bring him to a doctor and talk to the police.

Simon had accepted. It took another month and a half, but the police were able to present a solid case. He hadn't fallen apart on the stand at the trial though he had cried a bit. Whether it was those few tears or other evidence, Glenn had been sentenced to four to twelve years for what he'd done. Simon felt such relief, that he hadn't considered the full consequences of his actions.

The betrayal of the Matt figure had scared him, and then Glenn's family cut him loose, tossing him back into the system, and old wounds reopened, joined by newer ones. His bitterness returned, and he once again cursed the universe, his family, anything and everything he felt was responsible for his retched life.

And now, for some sadistic reason, life has tossed my bastard of a brother towards me. He looked at the wall, remembering how Matt had come to his rescue. He doesn't know me. He doesn't know what I've had to suffer. He has no right to tell me what to do. I hope I never see him again.

"Camden! You've got a visitor!"

"Tell them to shove off!"

"It's your new family! Now move it!"

Simon grumbled and got up. New family. I'll be back in here in a few weeks. He glanced at the watch on the floor. I need to steal a new watch now, too. He exited the small space that was his room and went into the living room.

He froze in his steps when he saw who was standing by the door, talking with his foster mother. "What the hell are you doing here?! Can't you just get out of my life!"

Matt Camden looked over at Simon and shook his head. "I'm afraid I can't, Simon. I'm your brother."

It's then that the foster mother's words came back to him. It's your new family. No, it couldn't be. They wouldn't do something as crazy as that!

Matt watched Simon a moment. "Well? You want to leave tonight or tomorrow? I figure we should get you settled in LA and used to your new life as soon as possible."

"Like hell! There's no way I'm going with you!" Simon glanced at the front door. I could run. He's older, probably not that athletic. I could just run and really get lost.

Matt, as if reading his mind, stepped in his path and crossed his arms. "Simon, I've adopted you. I'm your living relative, I'm old enough to be a legal guardian, and so they're letting me take you." His face softened. "We can finally be a family again."

"I don't want to be your family."

"But you are."

Simon felt like he was going to be sick. Fate, life, destiny, whatever it was called, had thrown another sadistic twist into his life.

Matt stepped forward and lowered his voice. "Do you want to stay here a little longer, to talk this out with me? There's things I need to tell you, about the time I left."

Simon stepped back. "I don't care, and I don't want to talk. I know what happened."

Matt sighed and looked over to the foster care woman. "Mind if he stays here a few more days? I think we need to work out a few things before we go anywhere."

"Fine by me. He'll probably be back here in no time anyway."

Thanks for the vote of encouragement, hag.

Matt shook his head. "I'm not letting him go again. This time I'm going to keep my word. We're not going to broken apart this time."

"Whatever." Simon turned and headed back for his room. While outside he still appeared brooding and angry, inside his emotions were raging, everything from hopes that had died years ago to fear that Matt would be like Glenn. I hate my life.

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Author's Prattle: Aww...poor Simon, ne? And you could see what was coming with Matt's adopting him last chapter, couldn't you? Only two more to go after this. It may be a few days, though, as I have a major bio report to do over the next four days. As always, reviews are appreciated.