Chapter 2
"Okay Warrick, I'll be in my office until that warrant comes through."
"Sure thing Gris." He walks down the hall towards the lounge where I know he is going to go visit with Catherine. We all just got finished taking apart the car from the crime scene but didn't find anything worth getting excited over. It was a long start of shift and we all felt the strain.
I sit down in my dark office. Tossing my specs down carelessly on the desk before me, I let the cool darkness surround me as I close my eyes. It is peaceful.
"Grissom!" My eyes fly open in alert. Nick stands in the doorway to my office bobbing on one foot. "Sara's hurt. We need you to come quick."
Those words hit me like a ton of bricks. Never in my life have I felt like the world stopped turning. The possibility that Sara, caring, beautiful, amazing, big brown eyed Sara Sidle, was hurt made me jump into action mode. "Where is she Nick?"
"Come on." Nick bolts down the hall and I run after him.
What happened? Was she shot? I didn't hear a shot. Did my hearing lapse? Shit I hope not. Did a suspect attack her? Was she alive? What is the extent of her injuries? Nick just said hurt, implying she is breathing, but his urgent manner is scaring the hell out of me. Oh Sara please be okay. We finally reach the interrogation room where I catch a glimpse of Sara lying lifelessly on the cold floor. Greg is kneeling beside her with an expression of fear plastered on his face.
"Move Greg!" Nick yells. "Let Grissom have a look at her."
Greg jumps up and away, granting access to my Sara. "Grissom she hasn't said anything in like a minute. I think she's unconscious."
I lower my body to her side. Her head is slumped to the right side. I don't understand. She only looks like she is sleeping. She appears unharmed. "What's wrong with her? Did she faint?" As the words leave my mouth I grab her chin to get a good look of her face. Her normally flawless pale skin was becoming a massive bruise. I stare at her in shock. The bruising extended from her cheekbone to her right temple.
"We were um...trying to show her the lab results. When we came in we hit her with the door." Nick says while pacing behind me.
"It was a complete accident." Greg quickly adds.
"Sara can you hear me?" She didn't move. This was more than a bump by the door; this was done with force. Sara is frail as it is but that didn't change the fact that this wasn't as simple as Nick and Greg were making it. "This is a pretty bad black eye for just a light bump by a door." I turn to them.
They exchange glances. "We were running." Nick mumbles. "She caught the force of the door when we barged into the room."
Good God. Two grown men, a door, and a one hundred and ten pound woman; the math was easy to calculate. My hand wanders to her wrist to check her pulse. It is strong but fast; almost like it's fluttering. I take her hand in mine. "Sara if you can hear me squeeze my hand." I wait. And wait. And wait but nothing. I grab my handy maglite from my pocket and begin to check her pupils. "I can't believe you two. Can I ask what was so important that you had to run like school children?" I say over my shoulder.
Sara's pupils are semi-responsive which is good. Her right eye is a mess. It's a deep crimson red as the blood vessels broke upon impact by the door but I am relieved that there is no blood flowing from the eye. That would mean trouble. I know she had to be in great pain when it happened and it angers me to see her this way. I have to turn to the guys for my answer, but no explanation leaves their mouths. Their faces tell me that whatever it was it wasn't as important anymore now that Sara is hurt.
Again I focus back on Sara to wake her. I know the only chance that she will wake up is dependent on words. When someone is unconscious the best method of revival is talking; something to bring them back. My voice is not demanding but has a coaxing tone. "Sara come on. I know you have plenty to say to those two, but you have to open your eyes. Come on Sara, open them. I'll assign paperwork for both of them for the next month if you just wake up." I smile at my own choice of words but she doesn't smile back. She still hasn't moved. Dammit! I turn my maglite back on to check her pupils again. First the bad then the...she moves.
"Sara can you hear me?" Please say something. Don't fall asleep again. I am right here Sara, now wake up. Her only response is a groan as she rocks her head to get away from my flashlight. She blinks a few times. "Sara can you hear me?" I slowly repeat dropping my light for a few minutes.
She peeks up at me. "Yes I can hear you. I'm not dead."
Relief washes over me. I frown at her for being such a smart-ass but I think my eyes betray me. "Well you were unconscious for almost four minutes." I say.
Her face becomes one of sincere confusion. She must not have remembered passing out. Of course that's what happens when you black out, most of the time you don't see it coming. One minute you are fine then it's dark. I notice she is hardly able to keep her eyes open. I start to worry and assault her eyes with my light again. I pry open her good eye to check her again.
"Quit!" She shoves my hand away. "I can't see as it is, so I don't need you blinding my one good eye with your little doodad."
Doodad? This is worse than I thought. She is having memory trouble. I turn away from her to Nick and Greg. "Go call an ambulance. She has a concussion. She needs to get to the hospital."
"Sure." Nick and Greg both sprint to the door at the same time and collide with each other. "That's what put Sara on the floor in the first place Greg."
"Hey you were running too."
"I was working the case with her! You weren't!"
"It was my information!"
"It was your stupidity!"
"Look who is talking?!"
I have had enough. "Nick! Greg! You're grown men, now stop bickering!"
Nick's head drops between his shoulders. "Sorry Gris."
"Yeah sorry Grissom." Greg mutters.
I release a heavy breath I didn't know I was holding. "Now Greg I want you to go back to the lab, and no buts. Catherine was looking for you and Nick get the ambulance. I'll stay with Sara." As I say her precious name I turn to look at her. "And don't run!" I shout. Sara's face twists in pain at my yelling. Sorry. Her eyes slowly begin closing again. "Sara I need you to open your eyes. Even the bad one if you can." She doesn't listen and her eyes remain closed. "Please Sara, just stay awake." My voice is lowered. I hope she notices enough to stay awake. It's ironic that I am trying to keep her awake by using something that would surprise her. Talking in a soft caring voice shouldn't be a surprise but it is between us. Her eyes never open and I realize she has been quiet too long for my liking. I boldly touch her injured eye to see if I can get a response.
"Ow!" She jumps in pain.
Sorry. "Good you are still awake. You were too quiet all of the sudden."
She covers her eye. "I won't be awake too much longer if you keep hurting me."
Sorry. "Good you got out a full sentence that required thought." I am unable to catch my smile from becoming a grin. I really do treasure her whit and right now it is more than welcome. The unconscious Sara was like a nightmare. Her eerie figure will invade my dreams for nights to come I am sure. My grin slowly fades, as it's not returned probably due to the pain, and I touch her cheek. "Let me take a look." I examine the left eye then move to the bad right eye.
"How bad does it look?" She squeaks beneath me.
Suddenly I feel like the overweight nurse I had in grade school. Well that's an odd side-thought. I stop prying her eye to take a good overview of the damage. "Like you were hit by a door. It's bruised and swelling rapidly but there is no blood around your eye so I don't think there is any permanent damage. I want you to try and open your right eye."
"It hurts."
"I know." I say with understanding.
Through the swelling she manages to get cracks of light in. The light must seem bright because she immediately shuts them. After many try's her eyes begin to water. I watch a collection sit on the rim of her eye. Her eyelashes beat them and one large tear gives away to gravity. It starts slow at first then picks up speed as it cascades down her bruised cheek. I quickly but gently brush it away as it nears her ear. She looks at me in surprise but I am not surprised at all. Her skin is as soft as I imagined. I know openly touching each other is almost a barrier we never cross. It was like going to the museum as a kid with 'Do Not Touch' signs everywhere. I remember my teacher scolding me for touching an exhibit of the early caveman when I was in the third grade. She said that it was just off limits. I could see but not touch. That's how I treated Sara. I watch her and take in every detail with my keen eyes but never touch her. Yet I felt an overpowering need to touch her before that stubborn tear reached her ear.
It's hard to go day to day working with a woman that...well I don't really know what she does to me. The tug-of-war we have going is growing tiresome but it is my wall for now. My wall. I love it; I hate it. It protects me; it suffocates me. I love it; I hate it. "That's good enough." I say coming out of my trance. I know it must hurt. "Now we know you have control over your eye muscle; another good sign it's not permanent." Suddenly she looks tired and starts to close her eyes. "Sara no, you can't sleep. You have a severe concussion and need to stay awake."
"But I'm tired." She mutters before going limp. I frantically grab her shoulders and shake them. "What?!" She suddenly yells.
"You were falling asleep."
"No I wasn't."
She's so stubborn. "Yes you were."
"No I wasn't."
She opens them to a crack but again her eyelids collapse over those brown eyes of hers. I feel myself getting angry. Where is that ambulance? Isn't that why we pay taxes? For quick response to emergencies? She needs care now. I try to keep her awake by scolding her. "Dammit Sara if you fall asleep on me..."
"I won't Grissom." She says cutting me off. Her eyes remain closed except for a few blinks now and again to expel the tears flooding her eyes. "Don't worry Gris. I am right here and not going anywhere."
"You better not." I warn and again find myself brushing the tears from her cheek. It seems to be an act of compulsion now. It's my goal to touch her as many times as I can before I attract attention to myself. I guess I am getting ready for hibernation. I have to stock up on caresses before I close the door of my winter cave. My bitter cold winter starts as soon as Hank Peddigrew drops down beside me. Of all the paramedics in Vegas he is the one called.
"Baby? Are you okay?"
Baby? Baby? Baby?! He just called Sara baby! I look at her and our eyes meet. She doesn't appear as shocked as I do by the pet name. I back away from them. I can't breathe. She said they were just friends. Friends don't call each other baby! I feel the knots in my stomach constrict but I don't know why this is bothering me so much. I assured her and myself that I was okay with this, but the knots just pull tighter.
"Sara? What happened to you? Talk to me."
Well thank God he didn't call her baby again. I stumble slightly. I want to leave but I can't. I just can't. I learned so much about their relationship in that second it took for him to call her baby. I had to see her reaction to him. Why Gil? You like torture don't you? She's not yours. If you did have her, you lost her long time ago. My chest joins my stomach as it constricts. I think that means my heart is breaking.
"Yeah I'm fine. The door and I had a fight."
I see him smile warmly at her. I thought Sara was just friends with Hank. I thought she would always be around. I thought her getting a life was one of independence not one of companionship. I thought she wouldn't leave me. I thought a lot of things but I never thought she would break my heart. I blink hard.
"Let's get you off this floor. Does that sound good?"
She slowly nods and he, I cringe, picks me off the floor by placing a hand around her waist and one gripping her arm. She scans the room. Out of my peripheral vision I realize that the entire nightshift is there with me. Before she can make eye contact with me I drop my gaze to the floor again. If she sees my eyes she will know. Maybe that's just my problem; I didn't let her know.
"Okay Sara, sit down and just breathe while I examine your eye."
She is distracted as he prepares first aid, so I can continue to stare. Upon finding the medication he crouches down in front of her. He carelessly rests a hand on her thigh. I stare at it with disgust. He doesn't need to touch her...there. I feel my breathing quicken. Where else has his hands been Sara?! I feel my heartache deepening as I start to get mental images. I contemplate running but I can't tear my eyes from his hand on her.
"This may, no, it will hurt."
Well no shit! Jesus look at her!
"What is it?"
"It will help your eye so you can open it and I can have a look." He deposits three drops into her eye.
There is an immediate reaction. She quickly grabs her eye. "Shit!"
"Blink Sara and don't rub it out. It has to do its job."
She starts to blink wildly to get the drops out of her eye. She is getting sick. I know that look and it's unmistakable. And if her slight sway was any indication, she was getting weak also. My anger disappeared when I saw her in pain again. I pushed away all my feelings about what I just witnessed between those two.
"She has a concussion. Do you think it's wise to cause her more pain? She could pass out again." I try not to sound cocky but I can't hide my disgust for this man.
"Mr. Grissom I know what I am doing. Sara's concussion is very important but I have to determine if there is any real damage to her eye. Besides she is fully responsive now."
"She blacked out for four minutes and it might happen again. Responsive now doesn't ensure responsive later, especially if she is in a mild shock from the pain."
He turns back to her. "Sara how are you feeling?"
Well how do you think she feels? For someone that is suppose to love her, he sure is a reckless when regarding her feelings. He doesn't no a damn thing about Sara. Greg probably knows her better! I look at her as she exchanges glances between me and Hank. There is hesitation in her eyes. Just tell him how you feel Sara. It's not about favoritism, even though I am right and would never risk your health like that idiot.
"I'm fine." It's a lie.
Hank startles me by leaning into her ear brushing his lips against her cheek on the way. He is practically kissing her in front of me! I mean us. That's not very professional. My anger increases ten folds. He whispers something but I can't hear then he backs away. Good. He needs to get away from her; he can take that hand with him too.
"Do you need the stretcher or can you walk to the ambulance?"
"Walk." She mutters. Another lie. Is she doing it for his or my sake?
"I'll go get the stretcher then." He quickly rushes passed me and out the door.
I never take my eyes off Sara. She is no longer my Sara. I was naive to think such a thing. Who am I to tell her to quit seeing him? I am just her mentor or an old friend. It's never been anything more. If it wasn't for this pain in my chest, I would be happy for her. In a way I counted on this. If she is with someone else then there is no pressure on me to do something; she is taken and I can stop loving her now. Love? The word is strange to me and I can't believe I just said it. I mean I like her company. There that's better.
But she lied to me! Why would she keep him a secret? I don't understand. I'm confused. Sara wouldn't lie to me, would she? It not like her. I can't believe she did this!
My ranting is broken as I watch Sara's eyes close and she begins to sway in her chair. She rocks to the side then forward ready to fall to the floor, but I catch her just in time. When I grasped her by the shoulders, a little harder than I intended, she flinches but her eyes lose the battle and they close.
"Sara!" I shake her shoulders and call her name again. "Sara!" She falls into my chest in another lifeless heap.
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A/N #2: I hope it wasn't a mistake writing Grissom's POV or I should say I hope you liked it. It was hard to think how Grissom would feel. If he seems out-of-character, sorry, I made him act like I would act in such a situation. I hope it wasn't completely off. Please send a review and tell me what you think. Thanks!
