*Trots downstairs to heart* "Holy shit! I found a locked door with Geena and Sara's name on it! Geena you play nice! I wonder if Sara knows about you."
*checks pockets* "Know where did I put that key? Hmm...well after Geena and I used it, I think I gave it to Sara. Yep sure did. She has the key to his heart. Maybe I can make some copies? Nah Sara needs him more than we do. Go Sara!"
*jumps for joy but silently cries that can't have Grissom. There is always Billy.* "Mine!"
A/N: Okay that was just for fun and for Geena, now the chapter. Well no, nothing to tell you. Please review, it really does help. And thanks to all those that reviewed for the previous chapters : o ) You're the greatest! Even those wonderful flames Pissed OFF! sent me. I love basking in the warm glow of a fire... But when you flame someone you offer suggestions. I didn't find any in yours...so...back up off this!*grrr*
Chapter 6
That hurt. What she said hurt me. It reached into my chest and crushed my heart.
I subdued any feelings so she wouldn't be upset that I found out. I thought she was worried that I was angry with her. I thought she was feeling guilty for seeking out someone to care about her. She should never feel that way. I thought the only reason Sara was dreaming about me was because she wanted to explain. I didn't want her to be affected by me. She is with Hank and she is happy. I am happy for her. I can push pass the fact that she is with another man because she is awake and she is happy. I was prepared to deal with the situation in the correct manner. I suggest the painful truth that I am not upset with her and she deserves a life, and she slaps me in the face like it was the easiest thing to say. It wasn't!
I can't stand here anymore; watching her wash her hands. I need to get away. I storm out of her room and towards the Tahoe. I need a good drive. It always helps.
"Grissom?"
I stop just as I am about to reach the elevator. I turn to see Catherine sitting in the waiting room nursing a cup of hot coffee. She looks at me in surprise. She didn't expect me to be here. I didn't expect myself to be here.
I oblige her and walk over. "Catherine."
She gestures towards the chair in front of her. "I thought you were on the case."
"I am. Our suspect was hit by a car when he ran from questioning. Ironically he wasn't a strong lead." I try to stay calm even though I just want to get away from her. Away from Sara. Away from the hospital.
"Well I guess he is a strong lead now." She sips her coffee. "Have you seen her yet?"
"Just briefly." My voice is tight.
"When did you get here?"
"Almost twenty five minutes ago."
"That's not brief."
"She had company when I got here so I waited until he left." I remember peeking through the crack in the door to find Hank holding her hand and talking to her. Before I witnessed something I would rather not, I got away and went to other waiting room. It was twenty minutes I needed to rehearse my lines for Sara. She destroyed them with one sentence.
"Does it bother you?" She asks breaking the silence.
"What?"
"Sara with Hank."
I try to stay civil. "It's none of my concern who Sara is with." The word 'with' conjures up images of the two of them. Together. I push them away.
"True but that doesn't mean it doesn't bother you to see her with him." She clears her throat to make sure I am listening before continuing. "Gil you're human. And if that scene in the interrogation room was any indication, you were jealous." She sounds smug. I hate it when she sounds smug.
"I was not jealous. I was upset that Sara was suffering due to someone's stupidity." My tone becomes harsher than I intend.
She throws her hands up in defense. "There is no reason to get all rattled Grissom. It's not like Sara was aware of your jealousy."
"I wasn't jealous." I repeat coldly. "But I was out of line. I plan to apologize to Mr. Peddigrew for my unprofessional attitude. It won't happen again Cath, I can assure you."
"It doesn't happen often enough." She mumbles behind her cup.
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing." She uses her coffee as a distraction. "So if you're not jealous what are you?"
"Catherine let's drop it."
"Is there someone else?" She fiddles with her coffee paper cup then looks at me to gauge my reaction. "I heard you were on a date not too long ago and..."
My eyes snap to her. What the...? "What does that have to do with you? Or Sara for that matter?"
"You didn't answer my question."
"I don't intend to." I say bitterly and change the subject. "What did the doctor say?"
As I expect her to do, she drops the subject. Good. I don't want to even talk about my own reach for a sex life.
"She sustained a fracture to the orbital bone but all the head scans were clear. The concussion still has the doctor concerned but so far so good."
"She was hit hard by that door."
"How are Nick and Greg holding up?" She asks. "They were really worried when I left."
I really don't know how they feel but I can fill in the blanks. "They feel guilty."
"All things happen for a reason. It was just an accident after all."
"They shouldn't have been running." I point out.
"Sara doesn't seem upset with them."
"I am enough for both of us." I stare at my hands lost in thought.
"Grissom!"
I know she is yelling but it's muffled. Her normal voice is too low to hear. I know then that it has come. Another lapse into silence. I try to act like nothing has changed. "Yeah." I say slowly watching her lips carefully yet not too closely that she will pick up on it.
"What's wrong?" I watch her say.
"Lost in thought."
She nods but seems suspicious. "What...say...Sara?"
I have to end this quickly. She is talking too damn fast and hiding behind her coffee cup isn't helping any. "That's not your business either." I try to be elusive. Then sound hits me in a tidal wave. I release a breath I didn't know I was holding.
"...reason. I just was curious what you said to her about the dreams." I hear her say.
I frown. "Actually I didn't bring it up. I have to go Catherine. Brass and Warrick might need me."
"Sara needs you." She mutters.
"Catherine quit mumbling it's not polite." I snap.
"You heard me didn't you?" She answers coldly.
"Yes but that's not the point. Sara does not need me. I need to get to work."
She shakes her head. "Whatever you say Grissom."
______
Her hospital night clothes were white with tiny red and blue flowers. The only reason I noticed the pattern was because it was parted and I saw the skin of her back. Her back was flawless and pale. Not a sickly pale but a healthy pale. The muscles reinforced her slim appearance. She is anything but weak. The bottom part of her shoulder blades peaked out just slightly. My eyes traveled down her spine to stop at the waistband of her pants. There was a red mark along the elastic were it rubbed her during sleep. Her skin looked soft.
"Stop it." I say aloud. I check my watch as I sit at the red light. We questioned the injured suspect and got nothing. We have him close by if anything turns up. Warrick took Brass to follow a lead and left me to wade through more evidence. They didn't need me. But neither did Sara.
It's been six hours since my clash with Sara, and two hours since the end of shift. It's been a long shift; a long day. Too long. I've managed to survive the news, get passed my thoughts, work a case, and convince myself I was right to tell Sara that she deserves a life with another man. The only sacrifice was that I pushed Sara as far away as possible. It's been a long day which is why I have been driving the back roads of the desert for two hours. I raise my fingers to my neck. My pulse is still higher than normal.
The light turns green and I ease out. I am in no hurry to go home to an empty townhouse. To my own dismay I find myself parked in my usual parking place in front of home though.
It is cool and dark inside; perfect for easing my headache. Without hesitation I drop onto my sofa and begin to read my mail. There is nothing to distract me unfortunately. I pace my apartment before settling in for the day. I can't wait until shift begins. Sara will be there tonight. Catherine called to let me know that the doctor was confident she was okay. It is just a black eye now and no reason to keep her. Bullshit. She was close to a coma and the doctor thinks she's fit to return to work? Asshole. I look at my watch. She was released only twenty minutes ago. Someone should make sure she is okay. There could still be a chance that she will go to sleep and not wake up. He is probably with her though. At least she is taken care of, she doesn't know how to pace herself.
Look at me thinking of a woman that makes my blood boil in anger and my heart melt when she smiles. I shouldn't be thinking of her at all. She doesn't need my approval and has someone to look after her.
The phone rings. "Grissom." I answer gruffly.
"Hello Gil. Did I wake you?"
The soft voice sends chills down my back and I freeze. "No. Um. How are you?"
She pauses to consider her words. She is careful with her words. She ponders her words and their impact before she speaks. Her caution and planned dictation fascinates me. It is much like my own.
"Life has it price...and its rewards." She says finally.
I grope for my lamp for some reason. "Yes it does." I reply letting the light hit me.
"So how are you?" She asks.
"I can't complain." I shrug even though she can't see me. "What do I owe the pleasure to have such an opportunity to talk to you?"
"Our dinner was nice. I found our talks engaging."
Her word choice takes my interest and holds it. It was nice and very engaging. "I also found them interesting." I say truthfully with a half smile that I can't stop.
"Would you like to meet for dinner tomorrow night? I know a magnificent restaurant off the strip."
I think. Work may need me. Sara is at work tomorrow. I can't handle both of them in one night, even if I'm not in a solid relationship with either one. They just have that effect on me. "Work is pressing with cases and I don't know if I can get away. I am sorry."
"Some other time?" Her question has hope in it.
"Of course, I would love to have dinner with you." I wait for her to speak but she doesn't. "Goodnight." I say.
"Actually it is very much a good day."
I look at the blinds. Light tries to push through but dies before it reaches my eyes. Her intelligence and observance captivates me. Of course that's why I agreed to dinner the first time she asked. "Good day then."
"Good day Gil."
I wait for her to disconnect the call before I drop it to the receiver heavily. I sigh. "What the hell am I doing?" I say to the room. Well Sara has Hank. Nothing is stopping me. "Other than the fact that she isn't Sara." I extinguish the lamp and fall into an uneasy sleep.
tbc...