GILES: [takes out his phone, calls Buffy's house. Willow answers.] Hello Willow. Are Xander and Anya there?

WILLOW: Yes, I'll go get –

GILES: Not yet. Listen and do what I tell you. Get pen and paper. Right this down. San Pedro port. Pier 21a. That's where I am. Go tell Xander and Anya to get here as soon as possible. Just them. Only them. Tell them my life depends on it. And tell Xander to grab the rocket launcher and whatever spare rockets we still have. Go do that and then come back. I need to talk to you.

WILLOW: W-w-wait! Your life!? Shouldn't I get Buffy?

GILES: Do not tell Buffy. Only tell Xander and Anya. Do as I say. I don't have time to explain. [Willow can tell Giles is serious by the tone in his voice. She runs and tells them.]

XANDER: What about Buffy!?

WILLOW: Just you two. He was very specific.

ANYA: Why us?

WILLOW: I don't know why. Just go! [they leave, frightened and perplexed. Willow goes back to the phone.] Giles what the hell is wrong?

GILES: Relax. My life is not in danger. Cordelia's life is. I just figured they'd get here faster to save me. Right now, I need your help. What do you know about extraction spells to remove something from a demon which had been acquired in another dimension?

WILLOW: Extraction spells? I know a few things. What does this have to do with Cordelia?

GILES: She is the one the spell is being performed on.

WILLOW: That's impossible. Unless – unless she's a demon who's been to another dimension.

GiLES: I know.

WILLOW: Cordy's a demon? Wow! Xander really knows how to pick em. But this morning Buffy was joking about Cordy being a demon.

GILES: It's not a joke.

WILLOW: Does that mean the joke about Angel having a son wasn't a joke?

GILES: It does, I'm afraid.

WILLOW: Well now. That's just . . . impossible.

GILES: Forget about that.

WILLOW: Gladly.

GILES: Cordelia has been to one of the heavenly dimensions, where she was briefly a type of Higher Being with omniscience.

WILLOW: How? And whose idea was it to make Queen C a demigod?

GILES: Someone with great sense of irony. Anyway, she must have been imbued with some higher energy which a very powerful demon is currently trying to extract out of her. Do you have any idea how long such a spell can take?

WILLOW: Oh, poor Cordy. Extraction spells aren't pretty. Has he cut her?

GILES: Yes.

WILLOW: Punctures or lacerations?

GILES: Punctures.

WILLOW: How many?

GILES: Several. I'm not sure. Does it matter?

WILLOW: Well yes! Why the heck do you think I'm asking?

GILES: One moment please. [runs back to the awning.] Did anyone see how many wounds Cordelia has?

ANGEL: There were six holes in her chest.

CONNOR: Plus my knife. So seven.

GILES: Thank you. [walks away] Seven wounds. Does that help you?

WILLOW: Yes. That helps a lot. I know the spell. And poor, poor Cordy. That spell takes two to three hours, usually. If the guy's super-powerful he could pull it off in a little over ninety minutes. And it gets worse. There's slicing and mutilation and I don't even know what else. Poor Cordy.

GILES: So we have time. There's a forcefield protecting him.

WILLOW: That's coming down. Can't keep that up for more than an hour while doing such a major spell. Magic doesn't multi-task.

GILES: You sure?

WILLOW: Trust me.

GILES: Thank you. Your help has been indispensable. Don't tell Buffy. Don't tell anyone. If they ask where Xander and Anya are, make something up. They can't help, so they don't need to know.

WILLOW: What kind of demon is it?

GILES: A kind I've never seen before. Rock-hard red skin, cloven feet, horns. He flies. Imagine a giant Glory. Oh, and he can make it rain fire.

WILLOW: That's out of even my league. Sure, I know how, but it throws the four elements so far out of whack you have to access primal energies from hard-to-contact dimensions just to maintain the balance and even when I was evil I couldn't pull that off. Believe me, I tried.

GILES: Once again, thank you for your help. I couldn't do this without you. You need not worry. I am going to save her. Then I'll be back tonight without a scratch on me. And the same goes for Xander and Anya. [hangs up, walks over to the others.] It should take the Beast between 90 and 120 minutes to complete the extraction spell. The forcefield will come down in about an hour. In the meantime, you need to re-arm, re-group and recover from your injuries. We need to be fresh when the time comes to save her. [walks away to make another call.]

GWEN: Is that guy your boss?

FRED: We need ammo. Charles, Wes, let's go find some. [they leave. It's Wesley's gun, and no way Charles will let Wes be alone with Fred.]

ANYA: Can't you drive any faster?

XANDER: I'm going 80!

ANYA: Then go 90. I'd like to get there in time to save Giles from a horrible, bloody death.

XANDER: Why does he only want us? Why not Buffy?

ANYA: I don't know. Giles is going to die, and I never got the chance to tell him I loved him. [car swerves, tires screech]

XANDER: I knew it!!! I always suspected you had feelings for him.

ANYA: No, not those feelings. It's not orgasm love. He is quite yummy for a wrinkled man, but I like to eat the fruit when it's fresh. It's non-orgasm love. The sort of love you feel for him.

XANDER: I don't love Giles!

ANYA: The man is dying, and you're getting defensive and denying your feelings? We all love him. You, me, Buffy, Willow, Dawn. Not Spike. But the rest of us do. [a tear wells up in her eye] And I'm going to miss him.

XANDER: [speeds up] We're going to save him. I don't know how. But Willow said Giles had faith in us. And only us. We can't let him down.

[Giles paces back and forth, working out the details of his grand plan of attack. He sings The Kinks' "Waterloo Sunset" as he thinks.]

GILES: "Dirty old river, must you keep rolling, rolling into the night – "

LORNE: Whoa! Hey Rupert, that's not a bad –

GILES: Not a bad what?

LORNE: Singing voice you have. No wait. That's not what I meant.

GILES: You don't like my voice?

LORNE: No. It's very good. But I meant your plan. It's crazy with a capital K. But crazy's been the norm round here since Beastie Boy showed up.

GILES: How did you? You stole my thoughts! I should have known. I was going to wait until everybody was back. But if you must, blab away. [Giles walks off on his own.]

GWEN: Why is jeeves such a freaking drama queen?

ANGEL: This is not like Rupert.

LORNE: He thinks he's in charge.

ANGEL: What!? That's a laugh. He's not even in charge in Sunnydale.

LORNE: He does have a rather imaginative plan for saving Cordy. However, the whole thing depends on someone named Xander.

ANGEL: Oh God. That proves it. Giles has lost his mind.

[Giles calls Xander's cell phone.]

ANYA: What is that horrible noise?

XANDER: It's my phone. Pick it up.

ANYA: Anything to stop that wretched racket. I told you to change your ring. It's awful enough to bring down vengeance. I'm not joking. Hello? Giles! We love you!! And we're not going to let you die.

GILES: I'm not the one in danger.

ANYA: You're not!? You tricked us! We hate you, Giles.

XANDER: Why do we hate Giles?

ANYA: He lied to us. He's fine.

GILES: Cordelia is the one in danger.

ANYA: Why didn't you say that before now?

GILES: Would you have driven as fast for Cordelia?

ANYA: Well, no. But that's because we don't care about her. Xander, get this. We raced here to save Cordelia.

XANDER: What? Why?

GILES: It's actually a rather funny story, up until the point where Cordelia's in chains. [Giles explains everything. It takes a few minutes.]

XANDER: Cordy's a demon. Well of course she is. I DATED HER! It all makes perfect sense.

ANYA: You're a retroactive demon magnet.

XANDER: This clinches it. I'm going gay!

ANYA: Maybe you can hit on Angel. You want to date male demons. And do you know a more attractive male demon than Angel?

XANDER: Well no, but – that's sick! I hate Angel.

ANYA: And he hates you. With a passion. You and Cordy hated each other with a passion until you fell passionately in lust. That's how these things work.

GILES: What's going on?

ANYA: I'm playing matchmaker for Xander.

GILES: A life is at stake, and you're still fixated on dating? Where are you?

ANYA: I think Xander's entered Angeles. I mean Los Angeles. We just got off the highway.

GILES: Good. That means you're close.

ANYA: And Giles, that demon sounds familiar.

GILES: You've heard of the Beast?

ANYA: I think I met him. He didn't tell me his name. But your description matches him exactly.

GILES: That's fantastic. I had no idea.

ANYA: Then why did you want me to come?

GILES: I don't know. I guess it was just brilliant intuition. I'll see you in a few minutes. [hangs up. He invited Anya only because she was powerless.] Talk about a lucky hunch. I'm a genius! [walks back over to the others. Gunn, Fred and Wes are back. They rearmed at a store in Long Beach.] I trust you all have had time to properly understand your parts. Do we need another rehearsal? One last final dry run?

LORNE: Ripper relax. We got it.

GILES: You can't take this lightly. Timing is essential. You must all be disciplined and focused. A single blunder by any of you and Cordelia is as good as dead. [walks away, nervously looking for Xander and Anya. Giles sees Xander and Anya driving up, and waves to get their attention. They drive up, get out, and open the trunk]

GILES: Good news everybody. The rocket launcher has arrived. [along with Xander he takes the wooden box out of the trunk, carries it over to the others, and opens it.]

FRED: Now this is the big can a whoopass we've been missing. Ya'al got some nifty toys in Sunnydale.

GILES: [holds up the launcher] Remember this, Angel? [smiles slyly]

GUNN: How did you ever get this baby?

XANDER: I stole it from a military base.

GWEN: That's some pretty nifty thieving. So you're the guy who works the big tools.

XANDER: Well, I don't like to brag, but – thank you. [decides to press his luck and try a joke.] I hope you don't say that to all the boys.

GILES: Xander, can you work that?

XANDER: I can try.

GILES: Take him up, Gwen.

FRED: Looks like it's been fired.

GILES: Just once. It was quite a scene. Angel can tell you all about it. Fortunately the kit came with a second rocket.

FRED: Don't worry. I won't waste it.

GUNN: I thought you agreed I'd be the one taking the shot.

GILES: You can't take both big guns, Winifred. We've been over this. You have the .50 caliber, Charles has the launcher, Wes the assorted small arms. Otherwise the timing falls apart and everything's bloody chaos.

ANYA: Well hello there cutie. You must be Connor.

CONNOR: You must be Anya. Giles didn't mention that you were pretty.

ANYA: That was rude and insulting of him. To be fair, he gave no hint of how lickably gorgeous you were. [Connor smiles. Giles grabs Anya's arm and pulls her away.]

GILES: Will you please focus? A woman's life is at stake! Now go in there and make sure it's him. [the forcefield is invisible. Everyone walks in with Anya. Angel stays in the shade near the south wall.]

ANYA: That's the guy. [when she gets close, she has doubts.] No. Wait. He was taller. Like this thing, but a lot bigger. He was –

BEAST: My older brother. [he turns and faces her.] Hello Anyaka.

LORNE: Perfect. He has a family.

BEAST: I've been meaning to thank you. Without your help I couldn't be here.

WES: How is that even remotely possible? You never had that kind of power.

ANYA: 700 years ago his brother appeared before me with a request. These Pontic priests in Trebizond were preventing him from entering this dimension. He wanted me to kill them. I told him I only helped human women, and patiently explained why he was neither. He gave some big idle threats and acted like he was going to get violent with me, so I teleported out of there. But how did I help YOU?

BEAST: Only one of us was allowed to enter this dimension. If you had granted his wish, he would have been the one. Because you didn't, I was able to kill him, and make his destiny my own. I owe it all to you, Anyaka. [he goes back to work. Anya and the others walk out of the warehouse.]

[To the north of the warehouse is a giant crane. Xander and Gwen climb up into the cockpit, which is 60 feet off the ground.]

XANDER: We don't have the keys. How do we start this thing?

GWEN: Easy. [touches her finger to the ignition.]

XANDER: You – You're – You're a demon! [Gwen slaps him with her gloved hand.]

GWEN: I'm not a demon. I'm just a freak.

XANDER: When I called you a demon, I didn't mean it in a bad way. I like women with amazing powers. You might say I prefer freaks. So you're human? And you were born within the last 30 years?

GWEN: Do I look older to you?

XANDER: No. Of course not. It's just, to be honest, you're actually more normal than most of the women I've dated. No, that's not true. You're probably more normal than all the women I've dated.

GWEN: Remind me not to ask about your personal life.

XANDER: What are the extent of your special powers?

GWEN: I'm electric. If I touched you without my gloves on, I would kill you.

XANDER: Most of the women I've dated aren't that up front about the fact that they can kill me with their touch. I appreciate your honesty.

GWEN: Is this a joke? Are you making fun of me?

XANDER: No! Absolutely not. I've had a very violent dating history. Most of the women who were attracted to me also wanted to kill me.

GWEN: So it's a black widow spider, praying mantis thing with you?

XANDER: There was no spider. Not yet, anyway. Okay, I think the engine is all warmed up. Now I try to figure out how to use this thing.

ANYA: Why are you all looking at me like that? You heard him. If it wasn't for me, you would be facing a bigger, more powerful version of that thing. I did you all a favor.

GUNN: How were you alive 700 years ago?

FRED: Are you a demon?

ANYA: Ex-demon. Ex-Vengeance Demon. Giles, I thought you told them about me.

CONNOR: But now you're human?

ANYA: Of course. Feel my heartbeat. No, really. Go ahead, Connor. Feel for yourself. [Connor's never met a woman who was as forward as Anya. He's delighted, befuddled, and a little scared.]

CONNOR: What's a Vengeance Demon?

ANYA: I helped women who had been hurt by men. A guy ruins some girl's life. The girl tells me what they wish they could do to the bastard. I do it for them. I did, anyway. For more that 11 centuries.

CONNOR: You helped women who had been hurt. You were their champion.

ANYA: Wow, I've never heard it called that before. Thanks. I hope the age thing isn't a problem for you.

CONNOR: Not at all. I like older women.

ANYA: You're 18, right?

CONNOR: That's what they tell me.

ANYA: Good. That means I can have sex with you. [Connor's dumbstruck. He can't quite believe his good fortune. She's almost seems too good to be true. Anya goes up to Lorne.]

ANYA: You name's Lorne. You sing, don't you?

LORNE: So you've heard of me.

ANYA: You're Long Lorne!

LORNE: Excuse me?

ANGEL: Why would she call him that? No!

GUNN: Lorne!!!

FRED: I think I'm gonna throw up.

ANYA: Did you know a Vengeance Demon named Halfrek?

LORNE: You mean Halle? I knew her for one night. That was more than a decade ago. Is she upset that I never called?

ANYA: No. Not in the least. She was very complimentary of you.

LORNE: Well, that's very nice of her. How is she?

ANYA: Dead.

LORNE: How? She was immortal.

ANYA: Her boss killed her.

LORNE: That De Hoffman pimp.

ANYA: His name's De Hofren. And he's not a pimp.

LORNE: Who are you kidding? He's a demon pimp! He has absolute control over hundreds of women. Punishes them if they don't turn enough tricks. Kills them if he feels like it. How is he NOT a pimp?

ANYA: You don't even know him.

LORNE: Did you whore for him?

ANYA: It wasn't whoring!

LORNE: Think about it, sweet cheeks. Vengeance Demons believe they're these super-feminists, these uber-liberated women. Yet they all work for a man who has complete control over their lives. How can you fail to see the irony? Maybe it's because I'm a sensitive cat who respects dames, but pigs like your old boss get me pretty hot under the gold lame collar.

ANYA: I wasn't a whore.

LORNE: Think about what I said when you're in a less defensive mood. I'm just glad you finally got out of The Life.

GILES: We need all of you armed and ready. We don't have much time. The forcefield is losing strength, and the sun is casting a shadow over Cordy, so Angel is free to operate. I want to see each of you in your concealed position. You know the signals. Wait for them. Surprise is essential.

XANDER: You're telling me Angel is in love with Cordy?

GWEN: That's what he said. There's definitely something between them. Or at least there was. Why are you so surprised?

XANDER: Angel was in love with someone else. When they were in my town, Cordy totally had the hots for him, but Angel barely even noticed her. Then again, back then she wasn't a demon. I guess a lot's changed. The stories Giles told me make it sound like another creature's taken over her body.

GWEN: So he dropped Bachelorette Number One for Cordy. Maybe Angel's a fickle kind of man.

XANDER: You sound pretty fixated on Brood Boy. You hot for him?

GWEN: Well, he is strong and heroic and very attractive. You have to admit he's pretty hunky.

XANDER: Why do I have to admit anything? What I mean is, I don't size up other guys like that. You know he's Cursed.

GWEN: You mean he has bad luck with relationships?

XANDER: I mean he can't have a relationship. Angel is a vampire with a soul. That's what makes him so mopey and guilt-ridden. He can't get happy. You know, really happy.

GWEN: He can't get it up? Never woulda guessed that.

XANDER: He can. But if he does, he loses his soul. Turns into a vicious killer.

GWEN: Sleep with him and he goes evil? That's rather trite. And seriously frustrating. Who would want to date a eunuch?

XANDER: I never thought about it that way. Angel a eunuch? I love it! By the way, I think I've mastered this monster. Time for you to go down.

GWEN: I hope you don't say that to all the girls you meet. [smiles at him, then steps out onto the arm of the crane.]