CORDY: Angel, what's wrong?
ANGEL: That thing Anya said about meeting the Beast's brother. It sounded so familiar. Almost like I had been there.
CORDY: You met him.
ANGEL: The Beast's brother?
CORDY: The Beast.
ANGEL: I don't remember that.
CORDY: Angelus would. He's the only one who can help us. We've tried everything else. We need Angelus. We need to know what he knows.
ANGEL: I can't do that. You know what he's like. He'll come after everyone I love.
CORDY: And the Beast won't? I love you Angel. And I don't want to lose you. But you have to do this. [she kisses Angel. Giles, Wes, Gunn, Fred and Lorne have crowded around and heard Cordy's proposal. Angel stands up and thinks about it.]
FRED: This is crazy.
LORNE: Which means it has a chance.
WES: We've run out of ideas.
GUNN: Just what we need right now – more evil. Have all of you lost your minds!?
ANGEL: Cordy's right. I can't defeat him. None of us can. He's unlike anything we're ever faced. We're desperate.
WES: And desperate times call for desperate measures.
GILES: As always, Wesley has a firm grasp of the flagrantly obvious. [The sun's just set. Angel walks off, takes his cell phone out of his jacket pocket, holds it in his right hand, and makes a call.]
ANGEL: Hello.
BUFFY: Angel!!! Is that you!!?
ANGEL: Buffy, I need to talk to you. [Giles hears this and is horrified. He runs over to Angel and puts a crucifix against the back of Angel's right hand.] Aighh! [Angel lets go of the phone. Giles grabs it.]
GILES: He'll call you back. [Turns off phone]
ANGEL: [grabbing injured right hand] What the hell was that for!?
GILES: Have you lost your mind?
ANGEL: Have you?
GILES: Look around. You and your fighters are not a team. Or an army. You're just a pair of love triangles. Maybe if you weren't so busy attacking each other, you would have handled this Beast thing by now. Your life is a mess. And I will not allow that mess to spill over into Buffy's world. She has more than enough problems already.
ANGEL: Is there a point when you'll starting making sense?
GILES: Have you even considered how this will effect Cordelia? There are less divisive ways to lose your soul.
ANGEL: Less divisive than what?
GILES: Don't play dumb with me.
ANGEL: Wait. Oh God. You actually thought – ? You assumed I was calling Buffy to ask her to – Do you think I'm evil already?
GILES: Of course not.
ANGEL: Then you think I'm stupid. I'd have to be evil or stupid to want to put her through that. You don't ask someone you love to turn you into a killer.
GILES: You're expecting me to believe that you called Buffy the moment you decide to lose your soul and these two events were in no way connected?
ANGEL: I wanted to talk to her while I still had the chance. In case anything happened. I'm going to go about this in a way which won't leave anyone I love feeling responsible for turning me into a monster.
GILES: I apologize. I assumed the worst and overreacted. As to the task at hand, I know a certain shaman –
WES: You know a white magic shaman. All he can do is pretend to take Angel's soul. I know a black magic shaman who can actually get the job down.
GILES: Of course you would. After all, it goes with the new Dark Wesley persona you have worked so assiduously to cultivate.
GWEN: That doesn't sound very fun. Maybe I could liven things up. [takes off gloves, puts both hands to Angel's chest]
ANGEL: Whoa. Oh my. Oh God. Oh God. That is so –
GILES: [looking sickened] What is she doing to you? [Angel holds out his left arm. Giles puts his fingers to Angel's wrist. He turns pale with shock.] You have a pulse. You have a heartbeat? Good Lord. Gwen can –
GWEN: Raise the dead? In more ways than one, I'm sure. [takes hands off Angel. He looks rather happy.]
ANGEL: Thank you Gwen. I appreciate the offer. But I can't. I mean I can. But it would be wrong. I'm sorry.
GWEN: I'm sorry for you too. All work and no play make Angel a glum boy. Anyway, I prefer my men hot. And warm-blooded. [casts a flirtatious glance at Gunn]
[Giles takes Wesley aside]
GILES: I've been thinking about what you said earlier. You were right. I need to assure the Council's future, because if I don't, no one will. But I can't do everything on my own. Therefore, I am making you Director of Western Operations. For the moment the title is entirely symbolic. You have enough to keep you occupied. But if you do get the chance, you will have direct authority over the Americas. Robson will be Director of Eastern Operations, with authority over Europe, Asia, Africa and Oceania. This gives you the authority to recruit future Watchers and initiate programs outside of Sunnydale, subject of course to my approval. Also, it gives you access to Council funds.
WES: What funds? You and your Potentials are sleeping on the floor of someone else's house.
GILES: I'm talking about the endowment. Robson is currently working out the legal arrangements to transfer fiduciary authority to yours truly. In a few months everything should be settled and we shall be in business again.
WES: You're serious about this, Rupert?
GILES: How could I not be. We are the only ones left standing. What choice do we have?
WES: They're going to hand over hundreds of millions of pounds to you?
GILES: Upwards of 1 billion pounds, actually. Of course it will still be under the control of the trustees, with the pre-existing limits on annual expenditure still in place. That still provides us with an annual budget of at least 30 to 50 million pounds. The possibilities are staggering.
WES: And I would have access to this money.
GILES: Purely for Council business, of course. No beach houses in Malibu or jaunts in the Concorde to see your beloved Arsenal play Real Madrid in the UEFA Cup. There would be expense reports and central oversight. But I'd be willing to give you access to, say, 5 million annually. It trust you'll discover some creative ways to make that money serve the Greater Good. I'll be in touch. Just wanted to let you know you were back in.
WES: The inmates are running the asylum.
GILES: And now you're one of them. Congratulations. [Walks over to his car] Xander, let's go home.
XANDER: But I just got here. Gunn's about to give me pointers on how to build a flame-thrower. And I was in the middle of telling Fred how I saved the world with my mouth. I think she has a thing for me.
GILES: If, God forbid, Winifred actually did fancy you, then Charles would be acting far less friendly.
WES: She goes for brains or brawn. You're neither.
XANDER: Well, well, well. If it isn't Weasely Watcher Wesley. Going for the unwashed, unshaven hobo look? [Giles steps between them]
WES: Don't worry Rupert. I won't lay a hand on your boy. I take no pleasure in harming the helpless or the ignorant. [walks away]
GILES: Like I said, time to go. [Xander gets in the car he drove up. Anya opens the driver's side do.]
ANYA: Get out of my car.
XANDER: What do you mean your car?
ANYA: I own it. It's registered in my name. I only let you drive because I'm not used to city traffic. So get out.
XANDER: You want to drive back? Go ahead.
ANYA: I'm staying behind. For tonight at least. With Connor.
XANDER: You're spending the night with a guy you just met less than an hour ago?
ANYA: Does that surprise you?
XANDER: Sadly, it doesn't. [gets out of car]
ANYA: Then you're jealous.
XANDER: No. I'm just . . . shocked. He's a lot younger than you. About 1000 TIMES younger than you. And he's Angel's son!
ANYA: So you don't like his parents. You don't like your own parents. Does that mean you think I shouldn't have slept with you?
XANDER: [long pause] Is that supposed to make sense?
ANYA: Of course, your parents didn't give you spectacular physical abilities. I'm hoping to find out how spectacular. So hand me the keys. [Xander reluctantly complies] Oh Connor. Connor? [looks around. she can't find him.]
CONNOR: Time to go? [Anya turns around, sees Connor. She's a little startled.]
ANYA: Ah!! [hyperventilates for a few seconds]
CONNOR: Something wrong?
ANYA: I'm just not used to the friendly ambush.
CONNOR: Going back to my place?
ANYA: You bet, champ. Giles, I'll call in the morning.
CONNOR: Thanks for helping us save Cordy. You remind me of a good man I used to know. [he means Holtz]
GILES: You're welcome. And please try to go a few weeks without getting tossed or kicked through the air like a football. Discretion really is the better part of valor. I hope you learn that before it's too late. [Anya and Connor drive away. Giles turns to Xander] We'll take my car.
XANDER: Like a football? What does that mean? [Giles explains] That's not human! What is he, bionic?
GILES: No, just rash. And bloody stubborn. I'm sure Buffy could survive similar traumas. But she's smart enough to avoid them in the first place. Connor's the sort of young man who runs head-first into a brick wall, notices he hasn't knocked it down, and concludes he needs to run into the wall again, except at a higher velocity.
XANDER: That might that will get him in trouble one day.
GILES: It already has. Today. And probably on previous days. Perhaps if he spent more time with his father he would learn a thing or two about intelligent tactics.
XANDER: You mean Angel. Because now he's a vampire who's spawning. I can't tell you how terrifying I find that. And incomprehensible. On so many levels.
GILES: It helps if you don't try to comprehend.
XANDER: I'm good at that. [Fred and Gunn come up to them]
FRED: Thanks for all your help. [hugs Giles]
GILES: And thank you, Winifred. Couldn't have done it without you. If I ever need a sniper, I'll give you a call.
FRED: Aw, that's sweet. [hugs Xander. He's happy.] Nice meeting you, Xander.
XANDER: The pleasure was mostly mine, I'm sure.
FRED: Cordy never said how funny you were.
XANDER: I'm guessing she never said a lot of stuff about me.
GUNN: Thanks for everything, G. [shakes Giles's hand, pats him on the back.]
GILES: "G" – I like that. It's connotes a certain toughness. [Xander's hurt. GIles likes it when Gunn calls him "G," but hates it when Xander calls him "G-man." Gunn turns to Xander.]
GUNN: And props for the heavy weaponry. [shakes Xander's hand]
XANDER: And – well – "props" for your tips on heavy weaponry. I can think of a few situations when a flame thrower could really come in handy.
ANGEL: [takes out his cell phone] Hello.
BUFFY: Angel?
ANGEL: Last time I checked.
BUFFY: What happened before?
ANGEL: Something came up. Took care of it. Didn't mean to be so rude.
BUFFY: No, no. I understand. Stuff comes up out of nowhere. Speaking of which, why did you call?
ANGEL: It's been a while since I've heard your voice. Just wanted to see how you were doing.
BUFFY: Still alive. Haven't died since we last talked. Well, maybe once. But that would just have been for like a second or two. I'm not sure. How are you?
ANGEL: Still dead. Could be worse. Has been worse. Let's just say I had a real lousy summer. And things haven't been too great since then.
BUFFY: Sounds like things haven't changed.
ANGEL: They have.
BUFFY: I bet misery still looks great on you.
ANGEL: Well, perhaps. [smiles] But every now and then even I get the urge to wear something different. [unintentional Cordy allusion]
BUFFY: Life sucks. We wish it didn't. You must have called me up to say something more important than that.
ANGEL: It's been a long time since I've heard your voice. One year, five months and three days, but who's counting? I was scared that would be the last time we talked. I remembered how I felt when you died. And I tried to imagine how you would feel if I died, if you knew you could never see me or talk to me or touch me ever again. I didn't want to put you through that.
BUFFY: You're an immortal. But you're afraid you're going to die. Angel, is there something crucial you're not telling me?
ANGEL: I don't mean to sound fatalistic. Sure, I have problems. Unkillable demon in town, mass slaughter, an apocalypse to prevent. Business as usual, from your perspective. But somewhere along the way I decided I should stop pretending you don't exist, and you should stop pretending I don't exist. Cause one of these days, one of us won't have the luxury of pretending.
BUFFY: I know. And I do worry, about one day not pretending. And I know how much it would hurt to not have you around. Ever again. But I also know how much it hurts to have you around. How much it hurts right now.
ANGEL: It hurts me too. But never talking to you, never seeing you, that would hurt even more. We can't keep defining our relationship by what we can't do. It's just insane to stay stuck on this "I love you, so I can never see you" treadmill year-after-year. And I don't know about you, but things have gone pretty lousy for me since we stopped keeping in touch. Train wreck, natural disaster, wrath of God lousy.
BUFFY: That's true. For me, I mean. Probably on account of us not touching – not keeping in touch. You see now why we don't do this more often. Neither of us can keep up the "just friends" act for very long.
ANGEL: I wasn't trying to. I know what we are, what we'll always mean to each other. That's why I called. You're not afraid of anything Buffy, except me. We grew apart because we were afraid of what might happen if we were together.
BUFFY: I wish it was that simple. And maybe it is for you. But not for me. I have huge responsibilities. A lot of people counting on me. A lot people who need me to keep them alive. But I would throw it all away to be with you. I would let them die. I would do anything to be with you. And that's the problem. I love you too much. Nothing good can come from this. Not right now. [Angel doesn't notice this caveat, which implies something good could come of this post-First Evil.]
ANGEL: I just realized something. One of us dies, the world ends. We'll never have the chance to miss each other. That's comforting. In a very dark way.
BUFFY: On a personal level, yes it is. On a professional level, it's terrifying. There's an apocalypse coming that I can't stop! [starts laughing, as does Angel]
ANGEL: You never were one to delegate authority. [Spike comes up from the basement into the kitchen. Buffy doesn't notice] Then again, this demon seems pretty fixated on yours truly. Obsessed might be a better word for it.
BUFFY: Maybe he has a death wish. Why else would he choose to take on the likes of you? [Spike gets his blood out of the fridge, puts it in the microwave]
ANGEL: Thanks. I'll be sure to remember that the next time he's tossing me through a concrete wall. It was good to hear your voice again. I'm glad I called.
BUFFY: So am I. Take care.
ANGEL: You too. [Buffy hangs up. Spike takes the blood out of the microwave and starts drinking it.]
SPIKE: How's Angel? [Buffy gasps and turns around, surprised to see Spike, who has a few drops of blood just below the left corner of his mouth.]
BUFFY: What?
SPIKE: That's who you were talking to.
BUFFY: How did you – ?
SPIKE: It was kind of obvious. Even if I couldn't hear his voice in the receiver. You know, vampire ears. Why the denial? [the combination of the surprise and the blood makes Buffy a little afraid of Spike's jealousy.]
BUFFY: What denial? There's nothing to deny. He just called to tell me Giles was coming home.
SPIKE: Of course. That would explain why neither of you mentioned his name. [goes downstairs. His delivery was deadpan and betrayed no emotion, which made it even more chilling from Buffy's point of view.]