Anakin stuck his shiny metal thumb out into the highway, trying to hitch
a ride. His hand was immediately clipped by a passing landspeeder, and
it flew sparking into the air. Anakin grabbed another hand from the
inside of his cloak and screwed it on.
"Anakin," came Padme's voice behind him, "This is the worst honeymoon
ever."
"Don't you think I know that!?" he screamed. The Darth Vader music began.
"And if that damn music doesn't stop playing every time I'm mad I'm
gonna start slaughtering Jedi!" The music stopped.
"Will you just call Obi Wan already!?"
"No! I can't let him know we're married!"
"He's gonna find out eventually!"
"I'll just use my Jedi powers to get a truck to stop," Anakin waved his
hand and closed his eyes, and an eighteen wheel-- I mean, eighteen hovery
thingy-er stopped. The door opened. Just as Anakin was about to step
in, the Dug inside laughed and sped away.
Anakin pulled out a notebook and added Dugs to the list of species that
aren't affected by Jedi mind tricks; under Hutts, Toydarians and Tina
Yothers. How many more will Lucas add over the years? Only time will
tell.
"Where the Hell is Anakin!?" Obi shouted.
"I don't know," said the robot on the other side of the room for the
42,945th time. "Please ask another question."
"I don't understand it! Anakin said that he was gonna go on a secret
mission with Padme to Obamannimooginallagaludan! I haven't seen him
since! What explanation could there possibly be?"
"They could have been killed," the droid hypothesized. Obi glared.
"You asked for a possibilty."
"It IS a possibility. I've got to go to Obamannimooginallagaludan!"
Obi-Wan ran away, cutting off six people's arms in the process.
Obi sped toward Obamannimooginallagaludan in one of those little Star
Destroyer wannabes. Suddenly, a conveniently placed asteroid shower
blew him off course. His ship crashed on the planet Saar in a barren
wasteland. Stepping out, he saw something he really didn't expect to see.
Anakin and Padme making (well, up until a few seconds ago) two yards
away.
"Man, the force must hate me," Anakin murmered.
"I know what's going on here!" Obi said, and Anakin & Padme got very
nervous. "You two got stranded on this planet on your secret mission!"
"Good Lord, how thick can you be!?" Anakin and Padme hopped to their
feet and ran into Obi's ship. Obi followed them in as the door closed.
Anakin began to mess with the controls. "Why won't this thing start!?"
"It just crashed, genius," Obi said behind him, "You called ME thick!?
Now what exactly is going on?"
"I'll explain it to you. You see--" Anakin smashed out the windshield
in front of him and jumped out. Padme sighed and jumped out after him.
"ANAKIN!" Obi shouted, jumping out as well, "Just what do you think you're--"
That's when Obi hit the ground hard, laying broken beside the very mangled
forms of Anakin and Padme.
"Hell of a drop," choked out Anakin.
A week later, Anakin Obi and Padme lay in hospital beds in numerous
casts.
"Anakin," Obi said through his jaw wires, "When we're out of here, I'm
going to MAKE you tell me what's going on between you and Padme."
"When I get out of here," Anakin replied, "I am so slaughtering the Jedi."
Now that you've read Episode 2.5, go to my bio page and read Star Wars
Episode 1.5. And keep in mind that I wrote it before Episode 2 came out.
a ride. His hand was immediately clipped by a passing landspeeder, and
it flew sparking into the air. Anakin grabbed another hand from the
inside of his cloak and screwed it on.
"Anakin," came Padme's voice behind him, "This is the worst honeymoon
ever."
"Don't you think I know that!?" he screamed. The Darth Vader music began.
"And if that damn music doesn't stop playing every time I'm mad I'm
gonna start slaughtering Jedi!" The music stopped.
"Will you just call Obi Wan already!?"
"No! I can't let him know we're married!"
"He's gonna find out eventually!"
"I'll just use my Jedi powers to get a truck to stop," Anakin waved his
hand and closed his eyes, and an eighteen wheel-- I mean, eighteen hovery
thingy-er stopped. The door opened. Just as Anakin was about to step
in, the Dug inside laughed and sped away.
Anakin pulled out a notebook and added Dugs to the list of species that
aren't affected by Jedi mind tricks; under Hutts, Toydarians and Tina
Yothers. How many more will Lucas add over the years? Only time will
tell.
"Where the Hell is Anakin!?" Obi shouted.
"I don't know," said the robot on the other side of the room for the
42,945th time. "Please ask another question."
"I don't understand it! Anakin said that he was gonna go on a secret
mission with Padme to Obamannimooginallagaludan! I haven't seen him
since! What explanation could there possibly be?"
"They could have been killed," the droid hypothesized. Obi glared.
"You asked for a possibilty."
"It IS a possibility. I've got to go to Obamannimooginallagaludan!"
Obi-Wan ran away, cutting off six people's arms in the process.
Obi sped toward Obamannimooginallagaludan in one of those little Star
Destroyer wannabes. Suddenly, a conveniently placed asteroid shower
blew him off course. His ship crashed on the planet Saar in a barren
wasteland. Stepping out, he saw something he really didn't expect to see.
Anakin and Padme making (well, up until a few seconds ago) two yards
away.
"Man, the force must hate me," Anakin murmered.
"I know what's going on here!" Obi said, and Anakin & Padme got very
nervous. "You two got stranded on this planet on your secret mission!"
"Good Lord, how thick can you be!?" Anakin and Padme hopped to their
feet and ran into Obi's ship. Obi followed them in as the door closed.
Anakin began to mess with the controls. "Why won't this thing start!?"
"It just crashed, genius," Obi said behind him, "You called ME thick!?
Now what exactly is going on?"
"I'll explain it to you. You see--" Anakin smashed out the windshield
in front of him and jumped out. Padme sighed and jumped out after him.
"ANAKIN!" Obi shouted, jumping out as well, "Just what do you think you're--"
That's when Obi hit the ground hard, laying broken beside the very mangled
forms of Anakin and Padme.
"Hell of a drop," choked out Anakin.
A week later, Anakin Obi and Padme lay in hospital beds in numerous
casts.
"Anakin," Obi said through his jaw wires, "When we're out of here, I'm
going to MAKE you tell me what's going on between you and Padme."
"When I get out of here," Anakin replied, "I am so slaughtering the Jedi."
Now that you've read Episode 2.5, go to my bio page and read Star Wars
Episode 1.5. And keep in mind that I wrote it before Episode 2 came out.