Disclaimer: I Don't Own Yugioh or Dr. Seuss
Kyoté Moon: Hi, everybody!
Everybody: Hi, Kyoté Moon!
Kyoté Moon: I know I haven't finished "And So, He Returns" yet, but I wanted to do this
because yesterday was Dr. Seuss' birthday. So here is a parody of a timeless classic,
Green Eggs and Ham: Green Cheese and Spam.
???????????????????????????????????
The scene starts off when Yugi is dueling Arkana and Yugi has just summoned the Dark
Magician Girl and beats Arkana.
Director: Cut! Ok, that's good for today.
Yami: Oh, I need a drink.
DMG: I need my hot tub. (starts walking home)
A little guy wearing a Yugi mask comes riding in on a dog with a sign that says, "I am
Yam" The DMG watches him ride by. He comes back with a sign that says "Yam I am".
DMG: That Yam-I-am! That Yam-I-am! I do not like that Yam-I-am!
Yam-I-am comes back and shoves a plate of rotting cheese and meat in the DMG's face.
YIA: Do you like green cheese and spam?
DMG: I do not like them, Yam-I-am. I do not like green cheese and spam.
YIA: (points across the street and his feet) Would you like them far or near?
DMG: I would not like them far or near, and I don not want them here. I do not like green
cheese and spam. I do not like them, Yam-I-am. Now, go away! (starts to walk down the
street until she gets to a hot-dog vendor.)
DMG: Oooh, one please, with the works.
Yam-I-am pops out from the cart.
DMG: Oh, not you again!
YIA: Would you like the in a cart? Would you like them with Bart?
Bart Simpson pops out from the cart.
DMG: Are you deaf or something? I do not like them in a cart. I do not like them with
Bart. I do not want them far or near, and I do not want them here. I do not like green
cheese and spam. I do not like them Yam-I-am! (flies off)
As she is flying, Yam-I-am comes up behind her in a zeppelin with Bakura inside.
YIA: Would you eat them on a blimp? Would you eat them with a wimp?
Bakura: Hey!
YIA: "Hands Bakura a wad of cash"
Bakura: Carry on.
DMG: Not on a blimp. Not with a wimp. Not in a cart. Not with Bart. I would not eat
them far or near, and I would not eat them here. I will not eat green cheese and spam. I do
not like them, Yam-I-am! (flies back to the ground and gets on a bus)
YIA: (driving the bus) Would you? Could you? On a bus? Eat them! Eat them! You mus-t.
(Hey, you try rhyming "bus" and then we'll talk)
DMG: What? Do you want my money? I would not, could not, on a bus!
YIA: You may like them. You will see. You may like them, in the sea! (drives the bus off a
cliff and into the ocean.)
DMG: Are you nuts? You'll kill us all! I would not, could not in the sea. Not on a bus! You
let me be! I do not like them in a blimp. I do not like them with a wimp. I do not like them
in a cart. I do not like them with Bart. I do not like them far or near, and I do not like them
here! I do not like green cheese and spam! I do not like them Yam-I-am! (uses her staff to
blow a hole in the bus and she swims out)
When she gets to the surface, she is caught in a net and pulled onto a fishing boat.
YIA: A boat! A boat! A boat! A boat! Could, would you, on a boat?
DMG: (freeing herself) Not on a boat! Not in the sea! Not on a bus! Yam! Let me be!
I would not, could not, on a blimp. I could not, would not, with a wimp. I will not eat them
in a cart. I will not eat them with Bart. I will not eat them far or near, and I will not eat
them here! I do not green cheese and spam! I do not like them, Yam-I-am!
The boat thus enters a time warp, for some reason, that is floating in the ocean.
YIA: Say! In a warp? Here in a warp! Would you, could you, in the warp?
DMG: I would not, could not, in a warp! (blows up the boat and they land in medieval
times. They fall next to a castle into a moat)
YIA: Would you, could you, in a moat? I would not, could not, in a moat. Not in a warp.
Not on a boat. Not on a bus. Not in the sea. I don't like them, don't you see! Not in a blimp.
Not in a cart. Not with a wimp. Not with Bart. I will not eat them far or near, and I will not
eat them here. I do not like green cheese and spam. Now go away, Yam-I-am! (attacks him)
YIA: Ahh! You do not like green cheese and spam?
DMG: How could you? It's rotting cheese an meat that tastes horrible even when it's fresh!
(transports herself back to our time. Yam-I-am jumps in, too.)
YIA: Could you, would you, with a doe? (a deer appears and starts to eat Yam-I-am's mask)
DMG: I would not, could not, with a doe!
YIA: Would you, could you, in the snow?
DMG: What? (snow comes down and buries the city. DMG and YIA stick their heads out)
DMG: (pissed) I could not, would not, in the snow! I will not, will not, with a doe! I will not
eat them in a moat! I will not eat them on a boat! Not in the warp! Not in the sea! Not on the
bus! Now let me be! I do not like them in a blimp! I do not like them with a wimp! I do not
like them in a cart! I do not like them with Bart! I do not like them far or near, and I do not
like them HERE! I do not like green cheese and spam! I do not like them Yam-I-am!!!
YIA: You do not like them. SO you say. Try them! Try them! And you may. Try them and
I'll go away!
DMG: Yam! If you will let me be, I will try them. You will see. (Takes a piece of green
cheese and looks at it, then pops it in her mouth. Yam-I-am looks up in anticipation.) Why,
this is the most DISGUSTING piece of food I've ever tasted! (takes the plate and slams it
over Yam-I-am's head, then walks off.)
YIA: She could have just said "No".
???????????????????????????????????
Kyoté Moon: Well, wasn't that interesting?
YIA: Would you like some green cheese and spam?
Kyoté Moon: Hey, what's that?
YIA: What?
DMG comes in and whacks him out the window.
Kyoté Moon: I do not like green cheese and spam. Thank you, thank you. Yam-I-am.
DMG: Why did you thank him?
Kyoté Moon: That's how the book ends.
DMG: Right.
Yami: Are there any drinks here?
YIA: Green rum and coke.
DMG whacks him out the window again.
Kyoté Moon: Thanks
Yami: I'm serious. I really need a drink! To contribute to the Thirsty Yami's Fund, please
send 5 gallons of vodka to: Thirsty Yami Fund PO Box 963 New York, New York 10108
Yami Bakura: Martini's are excepted!
Please R&R
Kyoté Moon: Hi, everybody!
Everybody: Hi, Kyoté Moon!
Kyoté Moon: I know I haven't finished "And So, He Returns" yet, but I wanted to do this
because yesterday was Dr. Seuss' birthday. So here is a parody of a timeless classic,
Green Eggs and Ham: Green Cheese and Spam.
???????????????????????????????????
The scene starts off when Yugi is dueling Arkana and Yugi has just summoned the Dark
Magician Girl and beats Arkana.
Director: Cut! Ok, that's good for today.
Yami: Oh, I need a drink.
DMG: I need my hot tub. (starts walking home)
A little guy wearing a Yugi mask comes riding in on a dog with a sign that says, "I am
Yam" The DMG watches him ride by. He comes back with a sign that says "Yam I am".
DMG: That Yam-I-am! That Yam-I-am! I do not like that Yam-I-am!
Yam-I-am comes back and shoves a plate of rotting cheese and meat in the DMG's face.
YIA: Do you like green cheese and spam?
DMG: I do not like them, Yam-I-am. I do not like green cheese and spam.
YIA: (points across the street and his feet) Would you like them far or near?
DMG: I would not like them far or near, and I don not want them here. I do not like green
cheese and spam. I do not like them, Yam-I-am. Now, go away! (starts to walk down the
street until she gets to a hot-dog vendor.)
DMG: Oooh, one please, with the works.
Yam-I-am pops out from the cart.
DMG: Oh, not you again!
YIA: Would you like the in a cart? Would you like them with Bart?
Bart Simpson pops out from the cart.
DMG: Are you deaf or something? I do not like them in a cart. I do not like them with
Bart. I do not want them far or near, and I do not want them here. I do not like green
cheese and spam. I do not like them Yam-I-am! (flies off)
As she is flying, Yam-I-am comes up behind her in a zeppelin with Bakura inside.
YIA: Would you eat them on a blimp? Would you eat them with a wimp?
Bakura: Hey!
YIA: "Hands Bakura a wad of cash"
Bakura: Carry on.
DMG: Not on a blimp. Not with a wimp. Not in a cart. Not with Bart. I would not eat
them far or near, and I would not eat them here. I will not eat green cheese and spam. I do
not like them, Yam-I-am! (flies back to the ground and gets on a bus)
YIA: (driving the bus) Would you? Could you? On a bus? Eat them! Eat them! You mus-t.
(Hey, you try rhyming "bus" and then we'll talk)
DMG: What? Do you want my money? I would not, could not, on a bus!
YIA: You may like them. You will see. You may like them, in the sea! (drives the bus off a
cliff and into the ocean.)
DMG: Are you nuts? You'll kill us all! I would not, could not in the sea. Not on a bus! You
let me be! I do not like them in a blimp. I do not like them with a wimp. I do not like them
in a cart. I do not like them with Bart. I do not like them far or near, and I do not like them
here! I do not like green cheese and spam! I do not like them Yam-I-am! (uses her staff to
blow a hole in the bus and she swims out)
When she gets to the surface, she is caught in a net and pulled onto a fishing boat.
YIA: A boat! A boat! A boat! A boat! Could, would you, on a boat?
DMG: (freeing herself) Not on a boat! Not in the sea! Not on a bus! Yam! Let me be!
I would not, could not, on a blimp. I could not, would not, with a wimp. I will not eat them
in a cart. I will not eat them with Bart. I will not eat them far or near, and I will not eat
them here! I do not green cheese and spam! I do not like them, Yam-I-am!
The boat thus enters a time warp, for some reason, that is floating in the ocean.
YIA: Say! In a warp? Here in a warp! Would you, could you, in the warp?
DMG: I would not, could not, in a warp! (blows up the boat and they land in medieval
times. They fall next to a castle into a moat)
YIA: Would you, could you, in a moat? I would not, could not, in a moat. Not in a warp.
Not on a boat. Not on a bus. Not in the sea. I don't like them, don't you see! Not in a blimp.
Not in a cart. Not with a wimp. Not with Bart. I will not eat them far or near, and I will not
eat them here. I do not like green cheese and spam. Now go away, Yam-I-am! (attacks him)
YIA: Ahh! You do not like green cheese and spam?
DMG: How could you? It's rotting cheese an meat that tastes horrible even when it's fresh!
(transports herself back to our time. Yam-I-am jumps in, too.)
YIA: Could you, would you, with a doe? (a deer appears and starts to eat Yam-I-am's mask)
DMG: I would not, could not, with a doe!
YIA: Would you, could you, in the snow?
DMG: What? (snow comes down and buries the city. DMG and YIA stick their heads out)
DMG: (pissed) I could not, would not, in the snow! I will not, will not, with a doe! I will not
eat them in a moat! I will not eat them on a boat! Not in the warp! Not in the sea! Not on the
bus! Now let me be! I do not like them in a blimp! I do not like them with a wimp! I do not
like them in a cart! I do not like them with Bart! I do not like them far or near, and I do not
like them HERE! I do not like green cheese and spam! I do not like them Yam-I-am!!!
YIA: You do not like them. SO you say. Try them! Try them! And you may. Try them and
I'll go away!
DMG: Yam! If you will let me be, I will try them. You will see. (Takes a piece of green
cheese and looks at it, then pops it in her mouth. Yam-I-am looks up in anticipation.) Why,
this is the most DISGUSTING piece of food I've ever tasted! (takes the plate and slams it
over Yam-I-am's head, then walks off.)
YIA: She could have just said "No".
???????????????????????????????????
Kyoté Moon: Well, wasn't that interesting?
YIA: Would you like some green cheese and spam?
Kyoté Moon: Hey, what's that?
YIA: What?
DMG comes in and whacks him out the window.
Kyoté Moon: I do not like green cheese and spam. Thank you, thank you. Yam-I-am.
DMG: Why did you thank him?
Kyoté Moon: That's how the book ends.
DMG: Right.
Yami: Are there any drinks here?
YIA: Green rum and coke.
DMG whacks him out the window again.
Kyoté Moon: Thanks
Yami: I'm serious. I really need a drink! To contribute to the Thirsty Yami's Fund, please
send 5 gallons of vodka to: Thirsty Yami Fund PO Box 963 New York, New York 10108
Yami Bakura: Martini's are excepted!
Please R&R