But Tomorrow It May Rain

by Pam6

Some battles are worth fighting

1. Default Chapter

Title: But Tomorrow It May Rain

Author: Pam3

Email:pam1313ca@yahoo.com

Status: Complete

Category: Drama, Angst

Pairings:

Spoilers: none that I know of

Season: Future Story

Sequel:

Rating: R Content Warnings: violence, rape

Summary: Some battles are worth fighting

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. We have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the authors. Not to be archived without permission of the authors.

IMPORTANT NOTE: *** = FLASHBACK // = Goa'uld

But Tomorrow It May Rain.
***"How is he?" Sam's shaky voice called out quietly, the deafening silence of the cell momentarily interrupted. Daniel's eyes met with her own amidst the unsettling darkness. The grief and pain she found there told her all she needed to know.

"He's dead." Daniel's soft voice trailed off as he removed both his fingers from the other man's throat. "Oh G-d." Daniel swiftly turned his head away, his shoulders arched more than usual. Sam diverted her eyes in the other direction.she would allow Daniel that much. It was the least she could do in a situation such as this one. With yet another dead, there were now only five of them left alive. But how much time would have to go by until that very fact would no longer hold true.until they'd all end up lifeless and scattered among the dirt and filth of this rat-infested cell?

Sam closed her eyes.she was tired.too tired. In the darkness of her mind, she tried not to concentrate too much on the wheezing sounds coming from the injured man not two feet in front of her. Roy.his name was Roy. He was a new recruit assigned to SG-4. He couldn't be more than twenty-five years old. This was his first mission.a mission gone terribly wrong. He was currently suffering from some form of internal injury and she didn't have the slightest clue as to how much longer he'd survive.

Shifting her body away, she allowed her head to rest on her arms as she coaxed herself to sleep. Despite her efforts, the stench permeating the stale air denied her that convenience. Her nose pressed up against the material of her jacket, Sam tried to maintain her optimistic thoughts. It had been 24 hours since they had last touched base with the SGC. She knew the general well enough to assume that a rescue mission was in the making.

Sam closed her eyes once more, allowing the neglected tears to track down her face. She silently wondered how Teal'c and the colonel were fairing. Had they had a chance to escape or were they slowly dissolving away like Daniel and herself?

Sam bit her lip in an attempt to keep her nervousness from roiling over. While her heart thudded with worry, her mind concentrated on something else.or rather, someone else in a desperate attempt to keep herself from going insane . The face of her CO appeared in her mind and she smiled softly to herself. She really missed him .She needed him now more than ever. In her mind's eye, she imagined herself engulfed in his arms.his soft hands caressing her face.***

Sam's thoughts were abruptly interrupted by the loud speaker. The flush of heat that was beginning to creep into her cheeks reminded her that she was in a public place. Despite her embarrassment, the people around her didn't seem to take notice. Fortunately, they were too busy drinking their coffee and reading their newspapers. Taking another sip from her cup, Sam berated herself for the hundredth time. She hated when her thoughts constantly converged back to what had become her last mission through the Stargate. It was the past.behind her now. She had tried her best over the past six months to push exactly those thoughts to the back of her mind.to catalogue them in a mental scrapbook that could be stored away forever. Her cheeks burned with anger as she reprimanded herself once again for thinking about her former CO in that way. She knew now that the hope of any semblance of a relationship between them was long since over.

Sam scanned her surroundings. The Colorado airport was a busy one, people running to catch their flights while others occupied themselves with their latest electronic toy, be it their laptop or cell phone. Sam herself was a good fifteen minutes early. She didn't mind though. In fact, it gave her the time to sort out her feelings before having to face her past once more. Truth be told, she was nervous. Six months to lose touch with those she saw nearly every day of her life was quite a transformation. Reflecting on that thought, Sam wondered if she had changed over the course of six months. Perhaps, she noted, but if anything, it had been for the better.or at least she hoped.

Putting down her coffee, Sam sighed inwardly. She could have at least picked up the phone a little more often than she had. Once a month was not what she considered "touching base". As much as she hated admitting it to herself, she knew why her actions had turned out as such. She was protecting herself, trying to take away the pain.the guilt. Even after the six months, she still didn't blame herself for leaving. It was for the best.not only for her but for the rest of the team as well.

As the minutes passed, Sam's fingers found themselves ripping what was left of her napkin.

What would they be like after all this time?

Looking down at the mess she had made on her table, Sam quickly interlaced her fingers together in an attempt to hinder their destructive conduct.

Oh G-d.just let me get through the day.let them not be mad.

Glancing at her watch, she knew he would be here any second. Her eyes darting from side to side, Sam searched the area around the coffee shop. Just as she looked to her left, her heart faltered as she spotted a familiar figure walking towards her.

Jack!

A large smile was plastered on his face as he approached her. A sigh of relief escaped Sam's lips as she got up from her seat. Moving towards him, everyone around her seemed to disappear. Taking in his appearance, she mentally noted how good he looked.and how much she missed seeing him. He was wearing a black sweater with a pair of khaki pants. Yes. good indeed. Before she had the chance to squeeze out a single word, Sam felt herself being pulled into a hug.

"Sam." The single word escaped his lips, a sigh accompanying its low tone. "It's good to see you."

"It's good to see you too, sir," Sam responded with an equally relieved voice. "It's been a long time, hasn't it?"

Jack pulled her away and smiled. "It sure has," he said as he pulled her in for another warm embrace. Resting her head lightly on his shoulder, she could hear Jack's soft voice whispering in her ear. "You look great, Sam.you really do."

"Thank you...you do too." Sam closed her eyes and breathed in his scent. He still wore the same after-shave.

Without warning, Sam suddenly found her own throat beginning to clamp up. She fought hard to control the tears threatening their way to the surface. She couldn't cry.not in front of him.especially not in front of him.

"Come on.let's sit down. We still have a good 15 minutes before Daniel's flight arrives. How was yours by the way?"

"Fine." Sam nodded and followed him back to the table she had temporarily abandoned. Sitting down, they both remained silent as Sam took another sip from her cup.

"So, how's the new job? Is your new boss as handsome as your former one?" Jack asked smugly. Sam smiled back but it never reached her eyes

"The job's good, sir. You wouldn't believe how far I've been able to advance with my research in just these last six months. With all this new free time, I'll soon be finished that book I've always been dying to write."

"That's great, Carter. Really good to hear." Jack's voice trailed off as his smile slowly ebbed away.

The pain.the hurt.they were all there.reflected in his eyes.in his movements. And they all screamed out at her, their noise invading the very center of her mind. Clearing her throat, Sam changed the subject.

"So.how's Teal'c?"

"Oh.hey.you know Teal'c! He's still charming the ladies." Jack mentally patted himself on the back when he received a smile from his former 2IC. When the silence began to drag on once again, Jack shifted uncomfortably. "How's Daniel been doing these past six months?"

Sam's eyes darted up at the question, her expression one of confusion and disbelief.

"Sir?"

"How's he been?" Jack dared not look up as he repeated the question.

"You mean you haven't spoken to him since." Sam couldn't find the words. Jack turned his eyes away from her accusatory glare. Her searching glance was making him squirm, much to his own chagrin.

The lack of response pushed her frustration even further. "You mean you haven't checked up on him?" There was a tone of faint accusation.

"How could I? " Jack winced the moment the words escaped his mouth. His tone, far from gentle, had startled Carter. Trying to ignore the stares from the strangers nearby, Jack lowered his voice. "I'm sorry.I'm." He closed his eyes and continued softly, "Look Carter, I tried.I really did. But ." Jack, seeing Sam's mouth beginning to open, quickly continued. "Me talking to him wasn't going to change anything. What's done is done."

Sam had neither the will nor the strength to argue back. Maybe he was right. Things could never go back to the way they had been.so what was the point in trying? She just hoped that the upcoming week would pass by as quickly as possible so that she could go back to Washington.go back to work.go back to forgetting.

Sam laughed inwardly at herself.

Who was she kidding?

She could never forget... It followed her like some sort of plague, never letting her escape from its fixed grasp. Even in the privacy of her own home, the screams she still heard were enough to ensure that there was always some form of noise to distract her in the background.

"Carter.HEY!" Sam suddenly snapped out of her reverie only to focus on a pair of brown eyes, worry clearly resonating from them. "You okay?" Jack, still not completely convinced that all was well, examined her more carefully. Sam nodded and turned her eyes away from his scrutiny. "Where were you just now?" Jack asked her, his voice filled with nothing but concern. There was a speculative gleam in his eyes and she had to fight to keep from squirming under his perusal.

Jack watched as Sam quickly grabbed her purse from the table.

"I'm going to get another coffee.do you want anything?" Sam got up.

"Naw, I try to stay away from things that have a longer shelf-life than an M.R.E." When he didn't receive a smile, Jack knew something was 'up'.. or rather. 'down' with the former airforce officer. He watched her walk away from him, her gait awkward and tense. As he continued to study her, Jack realised how much she had changed.She seemed more anxious, less sure of herself. The years were in her eyes, in the way she moved, in the things she didn't say but felt. She had lost too much, and believed too strongly. As much as he tried, he was finding this new realisation rather hard to take in.

Ever since both she and Daniel had left, a wave of silence had seemed to spread over the entire facility. Like a light had suddenly been turned off and nobody could find the switch. Although thankful that he and Teal'c were no longer bombarded by sympathetic gazes six months later, Jack couldn't ignore the sorrow he still viewed in the general's eyes. In retrospect, he had lost two brilliant kids and had been stripped of his family as a result. Still, no matter how qualified the two new replacements had turned out, the general could never embrace them in the same way.

Jack stole a glance at his watch. Daniel's flight would be here any minute. He inspired deeply, something he was doing more and more these last few days.

Geez.six months!

A whole six months he hadn't seen or spoken to Daniel. His heart pumped wildly with the comprehension that he would soon be stepping into unknown grounds. This would sure be an experience. What lay ahead was anyone's guess.

"Sir, we should get going." Jack's jaw twitched. He still couldn't understand why Carter insisted on calling him "sir" at this point but he figured she was doing it out of respect.a respect he surely didn't deserve. Jack quickly shook the thought away. He had promised himself that he would stop thinking like that. Besides, he had other things to worry about right now.that being a certain long lost archaeologist.

"Need help with your bags?" Jack offered, well aware of the steaming hot coffee in her hands.

"Thanks." Sam smiled briefly. Jack quickly returned the warm gesture. He had missed that smile.those lips.her eyes. Again, he attempted to wash the thoughts away as quickly as they had begun.

"Let's go." he exclaimed with an obvious hint of false enthusiasm. Sam merely rolled her eyes in a playful gesture as they both headed towards the gate destination.

Daniel's hands were beginning to sweat and he knew it had nothing to do with the agonising heat of the airplane that he was currently occupying. The flight had been long and uncomfortable. Daniel sat patiently, waiting for the majority of the other passengers to gather their luggage and join the growing line-up. Daniel's jet lag was becoming more and more apparent. Although it was merely the evening in Colorado, Daniel had to curb the urge to crawl into a bed and sleep the rest of the night away. Unfortunately, he wouldn't be so lucky. Sleep, he knew, was a fine blessing for those who were lucky enough to have it and a curse for those who weren't. Of late, Daniel made it a habit to take a sleeping pill or two when the nights became too much. They allowed him to relax, giving him the extra strength to finally close his eyes and let himself be taken by the darkness.

***"I didn't tell them anything." A weak hand grasped Daniel on the sleeve.

"I know, David." Daniel said as he raised the filthy cup to the other man's mouth. ".But you have to drink something!" Once again, Captain David Olson pursed his lips shut. Even at a third try, he lolled his head from side to side and continued to mumble words that only further depicted the pain he was feeling. Daniel bowed his head in frustration and closed his eyes. The man was dying; it was as simple as that. A man who doesn't eat in four days is bound to starve to death. Daniel slammed the cup down with obvious anger, unaware that half of its contents had escaped in response to the sudden force.

Daniel was going to go crazy! If not now.then soon. The more time went by, the more death seemed to make its uninvited appearance. Leaning against one of the walls in the corner, Daniel peered into the darkness and squinted. Although there was virtually no detectable movement, he was just barely able to recognize two forms who were still lucky enough to be breathing, albeit weakly. Their motionless nature made it almost impossible to distinguish them from the other two bodies that were now void of life.

Daniel's heart rate began to quicken its pace when he realized that Sam had still not returned. So far, one by one, each of them were taken out and questioned by their captors. Of course, "questioned" seemed to take on a different definition on this planet. It meant 'tortured', 'abused'.and eventually "killed." Peering once again at his fallen comrades, he was suddenly overwhelmed by a feeling of respect. These men had contained nothing but fierce loyalty to their cause. He appreciated how hard they had fought, how tireless they had become and how they had never given up until they had died.

For some unknown reason, both he and Sam had been saved for last. Of course, it wasn't his turn yet but he knew that it would be coming soon. And if not, he would eventually starve to death with the rest of them. But until then, Daniel would take it upon himself to look after the others who had not been so fortunate.

Daniel pinched the bridge of his nose with frustration. It was getting harder and harder to think around here and he knew that it was because of his deteriorating health. Closing his eyes, Daniel's hands clenched into fists as he remembered waking up only to find that Sam was gone. The bastards had grabbed her while the rest of them had been sleeping! That had been more than four hours ago!

With what energy he had left, Daniel got up and resolved to pacing back and forth in an effort to calm his nerves. Wherever she was, he hoped that she would come back in better condition than the others.***

"Sir.uhm.Sir. It's time to disembark."

Daniel felt rather than saw someone looming over him. He slowly opened his eyes, his face turning a bright shade of red when he noticed that he was the last one on the plane. An air flight attendant smiled politely at him as she watched him gather his things.

"Sorry about that.guess I'm more tired than I thought." Daniel offered a sheepish grin as he got up and began to make his way towards the exit of the plane. Daniel limped along slowly, cursing inwardly at how embarrassing this all was. Even if he wanted to run, he couldn't. An eerie feeling crept into his veins as he felt eyes watching him. Daniel dismissed the action and continued on. He had gotten used to that attention from strangers. He didn't blame them.the limping was definitely a distracting quality.

Thankful to be off of the plane, Daniel was grateful for a moment's reprieve from that momentary discomfort. He slowly approached the crowd of people and searched for any sign of his luggage. Standing apart from the other passengers, Daniel waited patiently. He gazed up at the double doors just beyond the security guards. Daniel hoped that what lay beyond the glass would be pleasant. He knew Sam would be there to pick him up but was uncertain if the rest of his former team would accompany her. He had left that decision up to Sam. As far as he was concerned, his job was done once he had given her the flight information.

Taking a deep breath, Daniel turned back to the task at hand. Upon seeing his lone suitcase pass by, Daniel attempted to make his way to it. He struggled to get there on time but his injury prevented him from doing so. Daniel's grief curled up inside him and took a seat next to his anger. The fact that he still wasn't used to his new lifestyle was enough to send his nerves over the edge. But before they could do so, Daniel busied his mind with the positive aspects that would follow in the upcoming week. Firstly, it would give him the chance to see those whom he had not seen in a long time. Although he refused to admit it openly to Sam, Daniel missed Jack and Teal'c and the memory of their last conversation still made him cringe. Hopefully, there would be no hard feelings and they would be able to put it all behind them.at least for the coming week.

Finally, upon seeing his bag coming back along the electrical belt for the second time, Daniel had more than enough time to grab it. As he locked a strong grip on its handle, Daniel pulled back, dragging it along with him. His balance compromised momentarily, Daniel nearly fell over. Fortunately, he saved himself the embarrassment when he finally steadied himself against the wall.

Taking another deep breath, Daniel made his way towards the double doors.

Sam glanced over her shoulder and followed Jack out of the corner of her eye. He was currently checking the computers for Daniel's flight.

"Well, it landed twenty five minutes ago. Let's just hope that Daniel isn't the type to wait for every old lady and pregnant woman to-." Pausing for a moment, Jack shook his head and continued, "Who am I kidding, it's Daniel we're talking about here!" They both waited impatiently as each person filed out, none of them being the young linguist. Sam found herself getting more and more agitated as the seconds passed. She missed him so much yet she wasn't quite sure as to how she would react.

Not two seconds later, a lone figure emerged, dragging a suitcase behind him. Examining the man's clothing, Sam noted on how similar his style was to Daniel's. He wore a plaid shirt with a pair of black pants. Her eyes moving up, Sam tried to suppress the gasp that was suddenly caught in her throat. All uncertainty vanished when she caught sight of the man's clear blue eyes. She could never mistake those eyes.

Frozen in her place, Sam vaguely heard Jack's quiet exclamation. Daniel definitely looked different. If his loose clothing and long hair didn't give that fact away, then the bushy beard masking most of his boyish features certainly did. It took her a few seconds to realize that blue eyes were staring back at her until she finally snapped out of her initial shock. Instantly, a large smile spread across Daniel's face and he began to make his way towards her. Sam watched him approach, her eyes averting from his feet when his limping became too painful to watch. A wave of shame and guilt began to overwhelm her. Why hadn't she expected it? Was it because she was so damn pre-occupied with her own life that she hadn't taken the time to consider that even after six months, Daniel still wouldn't be.well.the same?

"Hey, Sam."

Sam forced a smile as he came nearer. Upon a closer viewing, Sam allowed her shoulders to relax. Even though he did look quite changed, his eyes still belonged to the same old Daniel she had always loved and cared for. Sam wrapped her arms around him in a close embrace. Warmth exuded from him, but it was his soft voice that eventually brought tears to her eyes. G-d how she loved that voice. Sam pulled herself away in order to examine him once again. He had been through so much in the years that she had known him. Daniel had grown up the hard way, with heartache, grief and bitter disappointment. He had learned all he had wanted to, and the lessons had come dear. And she knew that all he felt now was sadness. Not grief, not pain, not despair.just sadness.

"I've missed you so much, Sam," Daniel eventually whispered into her shoulder. Sam didn't trust her voice to speak so, instead, she squeezed him closer towards her, as if he were simply an apparition that could disappear at any moment. His proximity bombarded her senses. The thought that she was once again in Daniel's presence warmed her heart. If anything, he was worth the upcoming week. If things wouldn't go well, then they would be there for each other regardless, just as it had always been. And she knew he felt the same way.it was a promise, a melding of spirits.

"You're tanned," Sam stated. She subconsciously raised her fingers and ran them through Daniel's exceedingly long hair. She couldn't hold back her chuckle. Daniel shied away from her touch and ran a couple fingers of his own through the long locks.

"Yeah.got kinda lazy.let it grow a little too long, huh?" Daniel smiled timidly.

"Welcome back, Kentucky Joe!" Jack's voice beamed out like a harsh foghorn on a peaceful summer day. Daniel spun around to face the older man.

"Jack?"

"Who else?" Jack exclaimed in response. Sam watched both men as they each gave one another a hug. She smiled delightfully when she saw no anger or resentment in their body language.

"Long time no see, Jack. It's good to see you."

"It's good to see you too, Daniel." When the silence between them surpassed the point of being comfortable, Jack continued, "Come on, kids. What do you say we get out of here and catch up on some old times, huh?" When both Daniel and Sam nodded their heads, Jack began to make his way towards the exiting doors. Sam followed closely, Daniel struggling behind her. Upon noticing Daniel's troubles, Jack made his way over to the younger man and grabbed hold of the suitcase handle.

"Here, let me take that," Jack offered, a look of remorse and anguish accompanying his low tone. Almost immediately, Daniel jerked the bag back, taking it away from Jack's grasp.

"NO!"

Sam stopped walking and turned around the moment she heard Daniel's cry. The word had shot from his mouth like a flare. Jack simply stood in his spot, a bewildered look planted on his face. Daniel, all too aware of his sudden eruption, lowered his tone and addressed himself to Jack.

"Sorry.I'm.sorry.look, I can take it myself. It's okay." His soft tone was a counterpart to the earlier sharp demand.

Sam looked down at a spot on the floor and focused on it.

G-d.Daniel.

Jack stared at the younger man for a few short moments before he patted him on the back and continued walking.

Getting back into Jack's car from the restaurant was a more difficult task than they had anticipated. It was dark and the snow was falling heavily. The wind had started to murmur as they had just begun to sit down and eat, a clear reminder of the frequent snow storms that often interrupted the peaceful Colorado area. Finally seated inside Jack's jeep, the three former teammates remained silent as the ignition was started and the vehicle began its trek down the main highway.

"So." Jack glanced up at his rear-view mirror, interrupting the sluggish silence. "Where are we headed?" He paused momentarily to clear his throat and then continued, "I've got the two guestrooms upstairs. You're always welcome."

Daniel swallowed heavily. He was at a loss for words. Not only had he not expected the kind offer from Jack, but he was far more tired than he had thought. As much as he appreciated the invitation, he really couldn't see himself spending the next seven days as Jack's personal guest.

A hotel room suited him just fine.

He risked a glance at Sam. The look on her face paralleled his own. Daniel nodded inwardly, understanding flowing between them.

"Well?" Jack regarded Daniel once again through the rear-view mirror.

"Well.I already made reservations at the Holiday Inn just before I left..but.thank you." Daniel refused to look up. He had no intention of seeing the hurt expression he was certain he would encounter.

After yet another unpleasant moment of silence, Sam added her own explanation. "I'm sorry, sir, but both Daniel and I had made reservations earlier. We just thought that it would be less of a hassle for you." Jack didn't respond. Instead, his eyes were concentrated on the road, his lips pursed tightly. Betrayal ate at him. For the first time ever, Daniel noted, he looked every year of his age.

The rest of the ride was spent in silence, each one lost in a whirlwind of thoughts. When the car finally came to a stop, Sam and Daniel clambered out of the jeep and Jack followed suit. Once their baggage and belongings were all accounted for, Jack climbed back in and unrolled the window.

"Have a goodnight sleep. Oh.Hammond wants you there up and at 'em by seven thirty! Teal'c will be there too so don't be late. You know how he gets when he's excited." Jack's voice trailed off as he flashed one of his famous trademark smiles.

Both scientists thanked him before grabbing their luggage and heading off to the front desk of the hotel. Daniel glimpsed up at Sam only to look away a moment later. The expression that flitted across her face told him enough.

She was hurting.

Instead of voicing his new realisation, Daniel simply squeezed her hand tightly in wordless acknowledgement.

Jack flicked on his windshield wipers when the rain began to obscure his vision. He relaxed his arms, unaware that they had been flexed for most of the night. His easy manner had torn down with some of his wariness.

This would be a long week.

He knew it the moment he saw the looks on their faces when he had offered them his hospitality and they had refused it. Turning on the radio, Jack attempted to clear his thoughts. When there was nothing deemed worthy to listen to, Jack shut it off and sighed deeply. His head swam with mixed feelings of anger and betrayal. What was he to expect from them? Were they just going to simply lay down their barriers for him? Assume that everything had settled down after all this time? Jack exhaled loudly, an attestation of his acceptance of the ever-drowning situation that seemed to have surfaced in the last few hours.

Jack cringed as he recalled the last time he had been with his team. It had also been the last time he had been able to still call them a team, since the next day, he had found out through the general that his two scientists had resigned from the SGC in order to pursue other options.

***"Colonel, please. sit down." General Hammond motioned towards the empty seat facing his desk. Jack silently took a seat, his lips pursed at the sombre expression the general was showcasing.

There was a moment of silence as the general examined the man in front of him. He had a broken look in his eyes, and he was sitting ramrod straight in his chair: a man who had given up everything, or lost it all, or maybe both.

"You're dismantling SG-1, aren't you, sir?" Jack retorted, his fingers played with one of the mini flags lined up on the general's desk, his eyes staring at the grey carpeted floor.

"Jack-"

"General.look. I know my team, more than anybody else on this damn base. I also know that they are one hell of a group. They'll pull through. A little downtime, a few -"

"Not this time," the general's soft voice echoed through the room. Jack remained silent, unable to fathom the fact that his own CO had lost faith. Jack watched in silence as the general pulled out two sheets of paper from his top drawer. He carefully handed them to his fellow officer. Jack scanned through both documents.his eyes refusing to accept the letters written in bold. The words "resignation" and the names of his two scientists were all that stood out as he refused to look up.

"Sir-"

"It's over, Jack. I'm sorry. I tried everything in my power to dissuade them but-" The statement remained unfinished as both men sat in silence.their thoughts lost to the world.***

Jack pulled up on his driveway and turned off the ignition. Although the car was no longer in motion, he still remained seated, willing his thoughts to disentangle.a task he no longer believed possible.

Daniel and Sam exited the elevator on the same floor. They had requested two rooms that were connected via a door from the inside. As they each neared their assigned room, Daniel put down his luggage and hugged Sam tightly. She returned the act by giving him a soft kiss on the cheek.

"See you tomorrow," he said as he pulled himself away from her embrace and took out the card given to him to unlock his door. Sam smiled and followed his actions.

When Daniel closed the door behind him, he felt at ease for the first time since he had left Egypt that very morning. It was also the first time that he finally found himself alone. Approaching the bed slowly, Daniel collapsed with a groan that didn't begin to express what he had felt about the evening. It was all more than a little exhausting.

Lifting his large suitcase onto the bed, Daniel unzipped it and began to lay down its contents. One by one, the clothes were placed inside drawers and hung on closet hangers, neatly and in place. Rubbing his beard roughly, he decided it was time for a nice hot shower to ease the tension in his shoulders. Stripping out of his clothes, he opened the bathroom door and turned on the water. Cold water spurted out from the showerhead at an abnormal angle, hitting Daniel square in the chest. Daniel jumped back in shock as the freezing water jumpstarted every nerve in his body. He stuck his hand inside in a frantic attempt to shut off the continuous assault.

***Cold water.Jerking him awake.Oh G-d.it was so damn cold! Sam! Was Sam back yet? Hands.forcing him up, slamming him against the wall of the cell, not letting him move. Fingers running through his hair, his clothes.his chest.

Oh G-d!

What were they doing?

Why were they doing this?

One of the men appeared in front of him. a deformed face.down his cheek a long scar. He was upset.

Hands driving him back against the wall. His head hitting the cement. Pain. Closing his eyes, gray sparks invaded his vision.

Rubbing.rubbing.Something hard rubbing against his thigh.

"JESUS.NO!" Raw realisation slammed into him.

Pain in his stomach. Someone had punched him, ordering him to be quiet. Hands pulling up his shirt. Calloused fingers pinching his nipples roughly, running down his abdomen.

His scar.

The ugly man's hands now on his appendectomy scar. Anger. All he could see was anger in the man's eyes. The same fingers retracted, only to touch the scar masking his own face.

"Please.Where are the rest of my team?"

A grunt of rage. An elbow to his face. red-hot fluid spurting from his nose.

A knee to his groin and his arms were released. Hitting the floor hard, feet were now kicking his ribs .hands pulling down his pants and ripping off his T-shirt.

"NO!!!.Oh G-D no!!!!"

His pinned hands could not protect his member from the inevitable invasion. Fingers grabbed hold of his penis, pumping it wildly.

"Oh G-D!"

He arched backward, his whole body retracting from the assault.

Was that him sobbing?

" Stop.Please!"

Was that his voice? So weak? So powerless?

Twisting helplessly, panic inched its way up his throat, blocking his air, causing him to fear he might choke to death.

An elbow to his face, silencing him as his cheek met with concrete floor. A strong hand on his head, slamming his face to the hard ground over an over again. Blood streaming down, obscuring his vision. Arms forcing him onto his stomach, his face forced onto the floor once again. A heavy weight suddenly on his back.on his legs. A darkness nearly consuming him.

Forcing his eyes to look away.they met with another pair, just as scared as his.

Major Jenkins.Also on the ground.

Injured.

Staring at the men. Staring at the atrocity.

Staring at *him*.

A flush of embarrassment rose to his cheeks. Tears rimming his eyes.

'Look away.please.just look away.'

But the eyes remained fixed.

Darkness loomed over him. But before being granted that sanctuary, he felt a searing pain as something hard entered into him.***

"DANIEL!!!.DANIEL, OPEN THE DOOR!" Daniel heard a distant voice, but as the seconds passed, that voice became considerably clearer.

"Sam?" Daniel tried to respond, but all that came out was a faint whisper. His throat felt raw and his voice didn't seem to be working properly. Something else was distracting his mind, washing out Sam's voice. It took Daniel a few moments to realize what it was and when he finally did, he jumped back. Cold water pooled at his feet, drenching the entire floor of the bathroom. Looking back to the bathtub, Daniel swore. It was completely filled and water was continuing to pool over. How long had he been standing there while the entire bathroom was in the midst of drowning? Daniel heard Sam knock on the door as he quickly stuck his hand deep into the tub. Pulling out the plug, Daniel relaxed when he heard the sound of water rushing down the opening.

"I'm here, Sam. Hold on." His voice was an anguished croak. Daniel grabbed a towel and covered his naked form. Wrapping it around his waist, Daniel noticed the tremors in his hands.

Not again!

Daniel swore under his breath as he clenched his fingers into a fist. Slowly but surely, making his way towards the door, Daniel finally opened it.

"Daniel.what happened?.I've been calling you for the past 5 minutes. You weren't answering," Sam's voice was panicked and her eyes stared at him questioningly.

"I don't.I don't know what-" Daniel stopped when he witnessed the state of his hotel room. The carpet right outside the bathroom was completely drenched with water.

"I know..." Sam eyed Daniel's shocked expression. "I was just about to go to sleep when I realised that the shower had been running for a long time. It was when I decided to check up on you that I noticed this." She motioned her hands towards the wet floor. "What happened?"

Daniel brought a hand up to his face and pinched the bridge of his nose. The last thing he remembered was standing in the middle of the bathroom, about to step into the shower. He looked up again only to meet a pair of large blue orbs staring back at him, waiting for an answer.

Daniel did not look right in Sam's eyes. Seeing how pale he had become, Sam took hold of his forearm. "Why don't you sit down?" She guided him to the bed, ignoring the feel of the wet carpet beneath her feet. Daniel complied.

"I'm not sure what happened, Sam. I mean."

Silence.

"Daniel?"

"It was so real, Sam."

"What was?" When she received no response, she tried again. "What was so real, Daniel?"

Daniel looked up at her and for the first time that entire night, she was reminded of the Daniel she had first encountered on Abydos five years earlier. The fear in his eyes nearly brought her own insecurities at bay.

"The flashback." And there it was.two simple words that had far too much meaning.

Silence seemed to linger in the air as both the former teammates considered the significance of the words. Sam knew all too well what Daniel was taking about. She had spent many nights suffering from the memories.memories that would never leave her alone, that threatened to take her over completely. Of course, she had learned to harness them, to fence them in a place where they couldn't hurt.

"Feel like talking about it?" Sam had to build up the courage to look at him straight in the eye and ask him that question. The same question countless of SGC psychiatrists had asked her in the past. She was pretty sure the same stood for Daniel. But, maybe Daniel would feel more comfortable talking to a friend rather than some cold-hearted, no-good, know-it-all, in a lab coat who only pretended to give a damn. In retrospect, Sam realized that she and Daniel had never really spoken of their experiences. It had always been unmarked territory, with a large visible sign that read: "NO TRESSPASSERS ALLOWED". It seemed like there was never a good time to really talk. Either there was something to do or the timing was never right. But tonight.right now, the timing was perfect.

"Not really."

.or maybe not.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I'm fine. I'm just.I'm tired. I just want to take a shower and go to sleep."

Sam nodded. The look on his face told her that she shouldn't press it any further.

"How about you take a shower in my room?"

Daniel nodded thankfully and proceeded to follow her to her room.

Teal'c eyed the room speculatively. What he saw was emptiness.what he heard was silence. As much as he tried, Teal'c couldn't help but feel that he was the cause of it all. If it hadn't been for him, this entire room would be just as it used to be. His mind wandered back to a time when this space was filled of voices, voices preaching with vigour and passion. His gaze swept passed the briefing room table and rested on the large circular object reflected in the glass window in front of him. The Stargate. Its stark presence belied its simple physical design. Teal'c was very familiar with the device. He had gone through its wormhole more times than he cared to count. However, through the years, his perspective of its existence had changed. When he had still been first prime of Apophis, he had dreaded going through its circular form in fear of what horror he would have to cause on the other side. However, upon joining forces with the Tau'ri, he finally felt obliged to acknowledge its true power, for in his eyes, it would be a means of freedom for himself and for the rest of his people. But now, staring at the chevrons decorating its outer ring, Teal'c wondered once again if the Stargate was in fact only a messenger of evil and nothing more. Not only had it ruined the lives of his friends but it seemed to mock him of it everyday.

A familiar voice from behind him suddenly brought him out of his reverie.

"Good morning, Teal'c. You're here early," General Hammond's voice shot out at him, as he took his seat at the table. There was something eerily familiar about the situation and it suddenly sparked a nerve in their minds.

***"Good morning, Teal'c. You're here early. You still have another 10 minutes before our next briefing." General Hammond was making his way towards his usual seat at the head of the table, a look of confusion displayed across his features .

" I have completed my Kelnoreem early this morning, General Hammond," Teal'c explained, his voice a powerful presence in the early morning hour. The general simply offered a brief smile.

"I'm sure it has more to do with the fact that this may very well be SG-1's first mission back since I authorised 2 months of downtime." Hammond gazed at the Stargate from his seated position. He raised his hand and pointed in its direction. " A little eager to go through it again?" he asked with a slight twinkle in his eye, as if he were expressing his own desires to step through the mysterious device. But before Teal'c could offer his response, the scuffling of feet and the ruffling of papers replaced the sudden silence in the air.

"Good morning." Samantha Carter took a seat beside the Jaffa as the two other members of SG-1 entered the briefing room. Much to his own displeasure, General Hammond watched as Daniel Jackson fought a battle with the files in his hands, struggling to keep his balance as he wobbled into the room. Thankfully, the loose papers chose to disperse themselves only once their owner had seated himself at the table. The general heard a mumbled curse as the young scientist attempted to organize himself. When the colonel also found his rightful seat, General Hammond chose to begin with the briefing.

"I am well aware that it has been a while since your last mission." he cleared his throat as if the last word spoken had sparked an irritation in his pharynx. "But I'm more than confident that SG-1 is ready to take on a new mission. Yesterday, at 1400 hours, a MALP was sent through to P3C 833. Major Carter, what data were you able to collect?"

All eyes turned to the blond air force officer. "Well ,sir, MALP data shows that P3C 833 is a suitable planet for SG-1's next mission. Environmental conditions are similar to those on Earth. Ambient temperature is 59 Fahrenheit and humidity is at 30%."

"Footage also points to evidence that this planet is indeed occupied," Daniel chose that moment to jump in. "I'm not yet sure as to what type of civilization it may be but I'm fairly certain that it is one that has instilled within itself a certain level of religious beliefs. Of course, this is all just speculation. But.if you take a look over here. " Daniel pulled out a photo from his collection and passed it on to the general. ".you can see an altar against the far corner and a few crude drawings decorating the walls surrounding the Stargate."

"How can you be certain that the planet is currently being occupied, doctor?"

Daniel fished inside his files once again until he clumsily pulled out another image and handed it over to the general.

"As you can see, torches around the chamber were still lit when the MALP went through. The inhabitants were probably startled and ran away.of course that's just another assumption too. For all we know, they could very well leave the torches lit as a ceremonial.thing. Anyway, the point is, I'm not sure that the Goa'uld haven't been there before. There are no writings to suggest any Goa'uld presence but we can't dismiss it as a plausible reason for why the occupants may have run away."

General Hammond leaned further back into his seat as if to give himself more room to digest the recent discussion. His eyebrows knit closely together, it was obvious to Jack O'Neill that the general was contemplating something serious within the boundaries of his own mind. Jack wished he could be blessed with the power of telepathy if only for this one moment.

Why the hell was it taking him so long?

"Colonel, I'm having reservations about this mission. I was hoping to send SG-1 on a simple recon, preferably to an unoccupied planet."

"Oh come on, General! It's been a whole 2 months during which we've done nothing but sit on our asses. I think I speak for everyone when I say that its time to get back out there! If it's the Goa'uld you're worried about then you might as well close down the Stargate. General, any planet, occupied or not, we run the risk of bumping into those snakeheads. Give us at least a few hours. We'll stay close to the gate, make nice with the locals, and then head back." Upon noticing a twitch of doubt filter across the general's face, Jack leaned forward and laid his hands flat upon the table. His eyes were sullen, pupils dark and concentrated. "General, we need this mission."

The general took a moment to evaluate the team in front of him. Upon inspection, it was quite apparent to him that they were emotionally worn out. If their sombre moods didn't give that away, then their expressionless faces did. The 2 months of downtime had allowed them to rest physically but he was not so sure if that was the case mentally. Whatever had truly transpired on the planet was something that perhaps he would never find out. But now, looking into his 2IC's eyes, he felt as though his heart was shrinking, cold fingers wrapping themselves around the sensitive organ and squeezing it more and more each passing moment. SG-1 needed this mission. Perhaps this planet would provide the link that was so painfully missing among his best team.

"You have a go, Colonel. I'm giving you four hours during which you will check in every hour by radio. Is that clear?"

Suddenly the four faces before him changed demeanour. Although their relief was not orally expressed, the look in their eyes assured him that he had made the right decision.

"You leave at 1500 hours." As each member of SG-1 began to rise from their seat, the general couldn't ignore the difficulties Daniel Jackson was having in regards to his co-ordination. Shielding his eyes from the awkward movements, he sighed in frustration. Tapping his fingers nervously on the table, he called out to the others leaving the room. "Dr. Jackson and Colonel O'Neill, if you could wait a moment. I know you're anxious to leave but I need to speak to the both of you." Daniel, with a hint of confusion set grimly on his face, grabbed onto the edges of his chair cautiously and slowly lowered himself back down. The general shifted uncomfortably as he watched the other half of SG-1 leave the briefing room..

General Hammond took a moment to gather his thoughts. "Dr. Jackson.I'm afraid I can't let you go on this mission." He let the statement out quickly, as though the words themselves were burning the back of his throat. Briefly looking in Daniel's direction, he wasn't shocked when he saw the younger man's entire face twitch.

"What? Why?"

"Doctor.it is part of my duty as head of this command to make sure that every one of my men going through that Stargate is physically fit to take care of himself and his team in the case of unfriendly warfare."

Apprehension twisted inside Daniel's stomach, squeezing his organs until he felt they would burst. "So what exactly are you saying? This." he motioned to his feet, ".is not going to be resolved anytime soon." The anger in his voice was looming, as if ready to strike at any moment.

" I'm afraid that I can't allow you to be a part of a first contact team anymore, Dr. Jackson. The risks are much too high. That's why I have assigned you to SG-11 for the time being. However, I am not entirely removing you from SG-1. You may accompany them once I have a preliminary report to ensure that the planet in question is a friendly one." The general paused momentarily. As he did so, he took the opportunity to study the young man seated next to him. If he was hoping to gain insight on his emotional state, then he was sorely disappointed. What he saw was a face that he could hardly recognize. Daniel's eyes had a queer flat look that made the blood in his veins turn to ice water. He wished he could fathom them, to know what emotions lay behind their cool exterior. But they were as enigmatic as ever. With reluctance, the general continued. "I'm sorry, Doctor, but I can't have the team's safety at risk if the Goa'uld decide to attack. As I said before, as long as I get approval from Colonel O'Neill that everything is secure, then I can authorize your joining SG-1. In the meantime, you will continue studying artifacts and evaluating any new civilizations that SG-11 happen to encounter."

Once again, the general stole a glance at Daniel's face. Nothing. Not even a twitch. The lack of reaction and the silence that followed did nothing to soothe the general's anxiousness. He suddenly felt the need to explain himself.

"Need I remind you, Dr. Jackson, that it was exactly two months ago when we nearly lost you! It is nothing short of a miracle that you are sitting here today, alive and well. I wish I could do more but-" The general was abruptly interrupted. Daniel was on his feet. His eyes were focused on the table when he began to speak.

"If you will excuse me, I have to finish some research in my lab." His tone was indifferent, lacking in emotion. The words were said matter-of- factly, as if unmoved by General Hammond's previous announcement. There was a split second in which everything appeared frozen, a scale hanging in the balance, waiting to tip towards one side. But before anyone could utter a sound, Daniel gathered his papers in silence and calmly ripped them up one by one. Without a second glance, he allowed the pieces to fall to the floor at his feet and then quickly proceeded towards the stairs. When Daniel finally disappeared, all he left in his wake were two astonished faces.

"General, request permission to-"
"Granted." The general didn't need to hear the rest of Colonel O'Neill's request. He knew this was something that had to be dealt with as soon as possible. In one swift motion, the airforce colonel evacuated the briefing area and began his trek after Daniel.

"Damnit, Daniel," Jack managed to mutter under his breath just as he caught sight of Daniel's figure waiting for the elevator.

"What happened?" Jack spun his head round to see Sam and Teal'c following behind him. "Hammond wants him off the team," Jack retorted, all the while his feet moving towards the elevators.

The silence that followed told Jack that he was not the only one who knew this was going to happen.

"Where's he going, sir?"

"I don't know, Major!" Jack snapped. His anger with the way things were escalating only quickened his pace. Reaching the elevator, Jack slammed his hand against the doors just as they were about to close. He stepped into the elevator despite the annoyed look that appeared on the archaeologist's face. The rest of the team followed.

"You know, in case you haven't noticed, I'd really like to be left alone right now."

"Daniel, I want to talk about this."

"Leave me alone, Jack!" Daniel leaned back along the wall and pressed one of the buttons on the panel.

"I just want to talk. Why does it have to be so damn hard all the time?"

"What do you want to talk about, Jack? Huh? About what just happened in there?" He raised his hands in the air ungracefully, their jerky movements only further depicting his rage. " Yes.I'm happy about the fact that I was just thrown off the team! I'm happy knowing I'm going to be stuck in an office indefinitely! Oh.and let's not forget how especially happy I am that my own commanding officer didn't stick up for me back there!" Daniel felt his rage ignite, like a fire spreading through his veins.

"Daniel.I knew about this before. Hammond told me yesterday-" The opening of the elevator doors gave Daniel the opportunity he needed to escape from his previous confines. Pushing past his former teammates, Daniel began to make his way towards his office. Jack felt his own restraint begin to crumble. A wave of fury rose to his cheeks. With a frustrated curse, he caught up with the archaeologist and slammed his hand on the door, preventing the younger man from opening it. Daniel turned to face Jack.

"What? What do you want to say?"

"Daniel, you're acting like you were the only one who has been suffering these past few months. We-" he motioned around him, "were all there! We all saw some pretty tough shit. You aren't the only one!"

"I'm not saying I was! I have a right to be upset, Jack! I've just been thrown off the team!" "Daniel, you almost died-"

"Jesus.I had enough of hearing that. Yes.I did. But I'm fine now. Can't I just get on with my life?"

"Look-"

"No.you look, Jack-"

"Daniel, will you let me SPEAK?" Jack gave himself a few seconds to breathe calmly before he continued. "These past two months have been hard.for you, for me, for all of us. But Hammond did what he had to do. You and I both know that those sneakheads aren't going to just go away. There is a WAR out there, Daniel. A war that we're going to lose unless we know we have the right people with the right state of mind. We need you here, Daniel, and not out on some planet getting killed. Hammond knows that and I know that. You're just going to have to accept it."

"'You're just going to have to accept it?' Is that your brilliant speech for the day?" Daniel let out a choked laugh. "Well I'm sorry, Jack. But maybe it's easier for you to say. You didn't have to deal with this." Once again, he motioned to his right leg.

" What the hell kind of a person do you think I am? You think it was easy for me to know that I couldn't get to you?" Jack was yelling now.

Daniel didn't respond.

"You know, you can be a real pain in the ass sometimes! Jeez! I'm not your enemy here, Daniel."

"I didn't say you were, Jack."

"Well you're sure as hell acting like it! Look. you want to get something off your chest? Then say it!"

Daniel remained silent.

"Oh for crying out loud!" Jack was clearly losing his patience.

"Well if we're all playing therapist here, Jack, then why don't you tell me what exactly YOUR problem has been these past few weeks? Huh, Jack? Too much 'cripple' for you?"

"You're sick, Daniel!" Jack spat in disgust. Daniel simply brushed off the comment and crossed his arms in a protective stance.

"Jack, you left me behind!" He hurled the words at him like cannonballs, as though he felt the need to protect the fortress of his own soul.

Jack was taken aback for a moment before finally regaining his equilibrium.

"OH, and you think I did that on PURPOSE?"

Daniel could see Sam and Teal'c gazing on in silence and shock. But soon, even their presence seemed to fade and the words that had been held captive in his mind finally escaped.

".well I don't think you tried hard enough!"

The silence that followed was about as painful as a blow to the stomach. Both men stood gazing at each other, their chests panting with rage.

"What?" Jack's voice was barely audible, the fury clearly having an effect on his vocal cords.

"Let me go, Jack!" Daniel motioned to the hand on his office door preventing him from escaping the heated discussion. His voice was soft now, as though tired and worn out from his own words.

Jack's hand still didn't move.

"FINE!" Daniel suddenly lurched forward, shoving Jack to the wall.

"You son of a bitch!" Jack recovered quickly and grabbed Daniel's collar with his right hand. Within seconds, Daniel's back was pinned firmly against the door to his office.

"What? So you're going to go back in there and hide like you've been doing since you got out of the infirmary?" Jack's face was close to Daniel's, allowing the scientist to see every wrinkle that had not been there only months earlier.

"I think it would be wise to end this discussion immediately," Teal'c's deep drawl cut the intensity of the moment, not liking the physical escalation in front of him.

"I don't think you have a right to step in here, Teal'c," Daniel mumbled from his pinned position, all the while his eyes still concentrated on the face of the man he used to trust.

"He has every right to talk, Daniel. We were all there. We're a * team *. You still remember what that means, right?" Jack quipped.

"Oh really, Jack? See.that's what I thought too, but evidently I was wrong."

"You know what I mean, Daniel!"

"Well maybe I don't, Jack, because you seem to like some people on this team more than others." Daniel's eyes made a subtle twitch in Sam's direction but Jack caught the movement.

"Daniel, what are you talking about?" Sam jumped in.

"This is bullshit!" Jack finally muttered before he let go of the younger man. "You're crazy. Just.go the hell back into your little cave." He motioned towards the office door before he stalked off down the hall, his gait stiff and tense. With a grunt of rage, Daniel pounded his fist against the door in frustration and grabbed for the door knob.

"Daniel.wait." Sam tried to reach for him but she was too late; her hand met with the closing door instead. Sam looked at Teal'c, their faces sharing the same lost expression. She was about to open her mouth to speak when a loud crash and a muffled curse from behind the door interrupted her.

"DanielJackson-" Teal'c tried to reach for the doorknob but-***

The clanging of feet on steel gratings snapped Teal'c to attention and he could see the general next to him straighten his back in anticipation. Suddenly, two new figures appeared, accompanied by Colonel O'Neill. One of them he recognized as Major Carter while the other's identity remained doubtful until he could see the man's eyes more clearly.

Daniel Jackson.

The symbiote within him curled upon itself in response to his anxiousness. It had been so long since he had last seen his two dear friends.

Teal'c shot up from his seat, every muscle stiff with eagerness.

Sam was the first to approach the large Jaffa. "Hey, Teal'c." she said with a smile on her face as she cautiously moved in closer and wrapped her arms around him.

As Teal'c looked up from the embrace, his eyes met with those of Colonel O'Neill.

The wait was over; his friends were finally home.

The warm body in his arms slipped away suddenly and he watched in silence as she moved towards the general with the same lightened spirit. Even moments after the fact, Teal'c could hardly believe his own eyes.

"Hello, Teal'c." Daniel's voice seemed to come out of nowhere, pulling him out of his diverging thoughts. An outstretched hand invaded his vision and he reached for it without hesitation, bowing his head at the same time.

"DanielJackson, it is good to see you again." There was a slight gasp in his voice and he swallowed heavily to suppress his emotions.

"It's good to see you too, Teal'c." Daniel licked his lips and lowered his head, hiding the shy smile that seemed to have escaped his attention.

"Dr. Jackson!" A familiar voice interrupted the awkward moment. General Hammond approached the younger man and shook his hand firmly. "How have you been, son?" His worried eyes gazed deeply into the younger man's, as though he hoped in some way that he could peak into the soul that was so well guarded by its owner.

"I'm doing okay..." Once again, Daniel looked down and grinned, ".ah.fine, sir." The general patted him lightly on the back and gave him a smile, albeit a strained one.

When all introductions were finally complete, the present company took their respective seats at the briefing room table.

"Firstly, I'd like to start off by expressing my appreciation to Dr. Jackson and Major Carter for coming all this way. The banquet would not be the same without you." The general smiled and took a moment to make eye contact with the new arrivals before continuing, "Unfortunately, this isn't the real reason you're here." The general gave them a minute to allow the words to sink in properly. Sam was the first to speak out.

"Sir?"

Even Teal'c looked slightly perplexed.

With a deep intake of air, General Hammond continued, "I didn't mention anything earlier because I wanted to wait until all four of you were present. Colonel, as you already know, SG-7 has been missing in action for the last month and a half. However, we now have reason to believe that they may have been taken to P3C 255."

A stunned silence filled the air until a stifled exclamation made its way past numb lips. "Oh G-d." Sam managed to blurt out, putting both elbows on the table and covering her face with her hands.

"A Tok'ra representative contacted us a while back to inform us of the possibility that five men wearing SGC field uniforms were spotted there. I have been told that this was from a confident source but as you all know the Tok'ra, they refused to tell me anything more."

"Those sons of bitches." Jack muttered bitterly.

"So what do you want from us?" Daniel's ashen face was hidden behind his facial hair but his large blue eyes spoke volumes.

"The SGC is going to plan a retrieval mission." The general carefully regarded the faces before him for any reaction but was only met with shocked expressions. He knew from their lack of speech that they were aware of the dangers ahead but he also sensed that they understood what he wanted from them. Unfortunately, he had to put their thoughts into words. "A year ago, five good men died on a rescue mission to save SG-1. Any further attempts at rescue were abandoned. Unfortunately, right now we're in a similar situation. I am not prepared to risk anymore lives unless we can gather sufficient information about the compound to formulate a successful ambush. On that note, if you all are willing, we're going to need to know everything about the facility. The layout, their defenses, daily routines. We were hoping that you four could provide us with that information and more." Seeing that nobody was going to speak up, General Hammond added, "I know this is asking for a lot. G-d knows you don't need to be brought back there, even if it's only by recounting your experiences. So for now, all I'm asking from you is to think about it." The general suddenly got up from his seat and addressed Daniel and Sam. "In the meantime, take this opportunity to look around the base; see all the changes we've made. Dr. Jackson, I'm sure you'll be interested in visiting Dr. Green's lab. He's made much progress with SG-1. And I hope you both take the time to visit Dr. Fraiser as well. She's been anxiously waiting to see the both of you." General Hammond smiled sincerely at his audience and then proceeded to leave the table.

The day passed by quickly as Jack showed both his former teammates the new added features of the base. The conversation was light and amicable, focusing mostly on the present rather than discussions of the past. As they neared a familiar area, Daniel couldn't help but slow his pace.

"You know, Green is away on a mission with SG-6. Why don't you go inside and take a look around?" Jack suggested. The younger man's eyes continued to stare at the old office entrance. "Carter and I will make our way to the infirmary. We'll meet you there in ten?"

Daniel nodded and waited a few moments for his friends to leave before he entered the large office space. Once inside, he took the opportunity to study the room he had once occupied. To Daniel's dismay, it looked entirely different; completely void of any artifacts that had once decorated its dark grey walls and there was a surprising lack of any archaeological-related books. Daniel approached the desk only to find the picture of a dog and two small children in place of where Shau're's framed photo used to be. 'It's been so long,' he thought as he permitted his fingers to glide over the surface of the desk in front of him. It felt odd sitting in this room, a place that had once been a safe haven for unleashing his thoughts. But now, with the walls bare and the shelves nearly empty, it seemed cold and lifeless. He suddenly felt dizzy, his mind whirling madly, as if he might go insane. And yet, he knew sanity was right here, this desk, this room. Yes.this was what was real. He sat down in his old chair and allowed his aching back to relax.

Browsing through some of the paper work on the desk, he picked up a MALP photograph peeking out of its envelope and unconsciously began to analyze it. Roman civilization. Small temple. Probably 14th century design. Daniel glanced through more and came across a sheet of writings. Reading the first few lines, he concluded them to be translations, probably the ones Dr. Green had been working on before he had left. Underneath the folder, attached by a paper clip, was a corresponding photograph of a series of ancient writings of some kind. Analyzing the odd symbols and comparing them with Dr. Green's work, Daniel shook his head in disagreement. "No.that's not right," he mumbled out loud as he reached for an eraser, his eyes never leaving the ancient scribbles. "Not 'fight'," Daniel muttered to himself as he replaced the now empty space with the word 'attack' instead. Satisfied, he continued skimming down the translation.

The infirmary reminded Jack too much of a war-zone; nurses running in and out with dirty sheets in one hand and basins filled with G-d knows what in the other. Just before entering the infirmary, Jack and Sam waited impatiently for Daniel's familiar figure to join them but as time went on, no such figure showed. Glancing at his watch, Jack sighed. "You know, Fraiser thought she'd only be seeing you tonight. Why don't you go on ahead and surprise the hell out of her? I'll go find out what hole Daniel fell into this time." Sam smiled in appreciation and pushed the infirmary doors open.

Once inside, the familiar smell and feel of the infirmary caused a wave of warmth to wash over her. Perusing over the dozen or so staff, it didn't take long for Sam to find Janet in the far corner next to one of the infirmary beds. She was reading over some files while one of the nurses checked the patient's blood pressure. Sam's heart skipped a beat. Suddenly all of those phone conversations she had had with Janet seemed insufficient. Her need for more took control of her motor function and soon she was standing in front of her close friend. For the entire plane ride, she had tried to come up with ways of surprising Janet. But now, just scant feet away, all her preplanned thoughts went out the window and her instincts took over. Before she knew what she was doing, she was calling out to her friend.

"Janet!"

Sam had a huge smile on her face as she watched the petite woman turn her way. The look on her face alone was worth the five hour plane ride.

"Oh my G-d! Sam!" The surprise in her voice was accentuated by the sound of files falling to the ground. Janet and Sam hugged fiercely, holding each other close while unshed tears began to surface. Their reunion caused more of a scene than anticipated but none of them seemed to care. Drying her eyes from the moisture, Janet released her friend and glanced at her watch. "You couldn't have come at a better time, Sam. I was just about to go on my lunch break. Why don't we go to the commissary?"

"That sounds great, Janet, only.let's wait a few more minutes. Daniel's supposed to be here any second."

"Daniel's here too?"

"Yeah, Colonel O'Neill is getting him now."

"Oh my G-d. this is really a shock, Sam. I wasn't expecting to see you guys until tonight. This is wonderful!" Janet's eyes were suddenly overtaken with seriousness as a new consideration came to mind. "How is Daniel doing?"

"You haven't spoken to him?"

"Oh.we've talked over the phone if that's what you mean. But. you know Daniel. He could be hurting inside and yet you would never know it."

"Yeah.I know. I guess Daniel seems okay, but I doubt he's dealing with things any better than the rest of us."

Janet lowered her eyes, trying not to overpass the imaginary boundary of privacy. "How are the migraines?" Janet asked.

"They're getting better. The new pills you suggested are working well," Sam responded.

Janet looked down at her watch and frowned. "Well, if Daniel doesn't get here soon I'm afraid we won't have time to talk. My break is only for 30 minutes." Sam nodded, turned to stare at the doors and waited.

"Daniel! What the hell are you doing?!?" Jack wasn't prepared for the sight he saw as he walked into Green's lab. Daniel was currently hunched over his old desk scribbling down notes while his other hand occupied itself with holding up a blown up picture of some obscure writings.

Daniel didn't move.

"Daniel!"

Finally, the younger man stirred and looked around him in confusion, as though he had just been dragged out of a wonderful daydream.

"Jack?"

"Daniel?" Jack motioned towards the desk he was currently occupying with a look on his face that seemed to question his sanity.

Daniel looked down and dropped the pencil he was holding as if it were some toxic substance. He looked back up at Jack.

"You want to tell me what the hell you're doing?"

Daniel seemed to evaluate the question but instead of answering, he simply got up and moved towards the office door.

"Got a little carried away, did you?" Jack asked him. Daniel didn't answer. His face was flushed as though he had just been caught robbing a candy store. Jack followed Daniel out into the hall. "Daniel.that was Green's work. He didn't ask for a tutor to go over his stuff."

"I know."

"You miss it, don't you?"

There was a slight pause.

"No," Daniel answered snappily, not inclined to say more.

And that was that. Jack didn't press the issue any further. They marched that way in silence for the minutes it took to step into the elevator and to get to the infirmary doors.

Daniel entered the infirmary quickly, trying as much as possible to get away from Jack's presence. He spotted Janet and Sam in the far corner and began to make his way over to them. Reaching the two women, Janet's back was facing him and he touched her lightly on the shoulder. She turned around abruptly.

Her voice caught in her breath.

"Daniel."

She brought a hand up and touched his face gently. He smiled, finding her astonished face amusing.

"You look so."

"Different?"

She nodded slowly and touched his long hair.

"Daniel, on these digs .they *do* have scissors, don't they? I mean.look." She grabbed a pair of scissors used for cutting gauze and held it up for all to see. "I can have you done in no time." She patted a seat on one of the beds motioning for Daniel to sit. Daniel couldn't help but laugh and so did the others. She put down the scissors.

"So, are you going to hug me or not?!" It was a question as much as a statement.

Daniel leaned down and hugged her tightly, the lines around his eyes creased with warmth. He and Janet had always shared a special bond.a bond he couldn't quite understand but just accepted. Daniel sometimes wondered about the possibility of something more developing between them if things had been different. But for now, seeing her again was enough.

"We were just about to head over to the commissary and have a bite to eat. You up for joining us?"

Daniel nodded. Janet clasped onto one arm and Sam clasped the other, propelling him forward and out into the hall.

Sam took out the gown from the closet and laid it down on her bed with far more care than was needed. She had bought the dress a long time ago while skimming through the stores on a lazy Saturday evening. Although it was quite expensive, the need to buy it clouded her logic until she had finally brought it home. Knowing that she had nothing to wear it to, the gown had stayed in her closet for months untouched.of course until now. She quickly glanced at her watch.

5:40 p.m

It was still too early but she couldn't resist the urge to try it on. As she slipped into the gown, Sam heard the shower go on in the room next to hers. 'Good, he's finally back', she thought. She was beginning to think that Daniel was going to be late. Upon leaving the base, Daniel had taken a separate cab explaining that he had a few things to do before heading back to the hotel room.

Sam smoothed out the black material around her thighs. The dress was tight. but it was supposed to be, according to the saleswoman who had sold her the dress. Reaching behind her, Sam began to do up the buttons but finally gave up when she remembered just how many there actually were. Sam stood in front of the long mirror just next to the door and evaluated herself. The corseted gown pushed up her breasts in a way that she wasn't quite used to and she suddenly felt a flush of heat rise to her cheeks. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. Would anybody care if she just stayed in and spent the night in a hot soaking bath instead? Sam inwardly cursed at herself. No. She would go and she would have fun, even if it meant dancing and laughing at all of the bad jokes she was certain she would encounter. Sam grabbed her high heels from the closet and carefully slipped into them. Walking into the bathroom, she proceeded to put on her jewelry and makeup when she heard the shower stop next door.

"Daniel, you better hurry up!" she yelled as she snapped her diamond earring closed.

"I know!" She heard Daniel's muffled voice respond.

When she was finally made up to her satisfaction, Sam sighed and stared into the mirror. She thought back to what the general had told them earlier that morning. As much as she tried, she couldn't get it out of her head. For the entire day, it had been nagging at her, sitting at the back of her mind striking out only when she found herself alone. A wave of guilt suddenly swept through her.

She was on her way to a banquet while five innocent human beings were probably rotting away.

How could she possibly enjoy herself while that image implanted itself in her mind?

Sam needed to close her eyes. Taking a seat on the toilet, she leaned back and allowed the back of her head to rest against the wall. A single tear spilled over and she fought to hold back the rest.

How was she going to help those five men when she could barely help herself?

Could she actually recall anything of significance or had her memories chosen to free themselves of her experiences there? And even if hey hadn't, she wasn't sure if she could fish them out just yet. No, she had worked too hard on forgetting, so why the hell would she want to reverse that effort? But on the other hand, she knew she had to. If not for the five unfortunate SGC soldiers, then for her own sanity.because she would have hoped someone would have done the same for her.

A knock on the door startled her. Glancing at herself in the mirror, Sam swore inwardly. The stray tear had left a black track down her cheek. Grabbing a tissue, she wiped away at it in earnest.

A second knock rang out.

"Come in!" she called as she threw away the tissue.

Daniel entered the bathroom and Sam gasped loudly. Not only was his beard completely gone, but his hair was cut short just as she had remembered it. He looked clean cut in his black tuxedo and positively handsome. She smiled at him and he grinned back.

"Sam, you look absolutely stunning!" he said sincerely.

Sam was too shocked to speak. She had almost forgotten just how young Daniel could look; younger than any other 37 year old man she had ever known. She reached out and allowed her hand to run through his short hair.

"Daniel."

"Yeah.I rented the tux and got myself a haircut."

She brought the hand back down and touched the newly exposed skin on his face. His skin was soft against her hands. His hand covered her own and rubbed soft circles against her knuckles. That was enough to set her off and she took in a deep breath before a loud sob escaped her.

"Hey.hey.Sam." He pulled down her hand from his cheek and drew her in close, allowing her head to rest against his chest. Her whole body shook as the tears streamed down her face. "Shh.it's okay," he repeated over and over to her. "I'm right here." Her sobbing soon died down and she was now gasping for breath. Daniel reached over her shoulder to grab a few tissues.

"I know the hair is short.but it'll grow back. It's nothing to cry about," he said with a grin as he began dabbing the soft kleenex against her cheek. Sam offered a strained smile before she took some of the tissues from his hand. She pulled back, her face red with embarrassment.

"I'm sorry.I don't know why I-"

"I do," Daniel whispered. Sam looked at him, at his face. She didn't have to explain herself to Daniel. He understood. He knew.

"I'm nervous too, Sam. But we'll be there together, okay? Everything is going to be fine."

Daniel gave her a reassuring squeeze as he forced her to turn around to face the mirror. "And while you fix your make-up, I'll finish what you started." Daniel began to work on Sam's buttons. One by one he fastened them tightly until there were only four or five left. His fingers paused, their tips looming over her skin just under her neck. Careful not to touch her, his fingers followed the crazy patterns of her damaged skin.

Scars.

Daniel had never seen them before although he knew they were there. He had been present when she had received them but never once had he seen the damage. His fingers suddenly shook, and he felt them touch the skin of her back. He clenched his fingers into a fist in a pointless effort to stop the oncoming tremor. Sam, however, didn't respond to the touch. Finding this odd, Daniel touched her again. No reaction.

Nerve damage?

"You know, Daniel. You really look great!" Sam said as she reapplied the lipstick to her lips.

"Thanks," Daniel responded but his eyes couldn't stop staring at her back. He quickly reprimanded himself for stalling and finally fastened the rest of the buttons. When she was finished, Sam turned around, grabbed her purse and headed towards the door.

"Ready?" she asked.

"Yeah," he answered distantly as he joined her in the hallway.