Needless to say John Stewart was spared the ordeal of Bumba as Superman
came to the rescue in the nick of time, and the league overpowered the
aliens and ensured they would never enforce their buttpoking ways on anyone
else again.
However as the weeks went by The League noticed a marked change in Green
Lantern, he became distant, and withdrawn, but most noticeably and worst of
all he suffered from bad guts!
Green Lantern's habit of breaking wind in the Javelin became a major source
of friction between the group. The noise was loud and the smell would cause
everyone even Superman's eyes to water as they would choke and gasp for
air.
"I first noticed it after that mission in deep space," observed J'onn one
day when Green Lantern wasn't around.
"You mean when Superman saved his butt?" asked Flash "and I mean literally saved his butt!"
"It's disgusting," Superman said to J'onn who nodded in agreement.
"Oh come on," said Flash "you mean to say you guys don't?"
"No," Said Superman and The Martian Manhunter in unison.
"Memo to self," muttered Flash "Aliens don't Far-"
"Well I think someone should tell him!" Interjected Hawkgirl and everyone gave her the "you've just volunteered yourself look." So the following day Hawkgirl decided to confront John Stewart over his disgusting new habit. She pleaded with him to stop ripping one off in the Javelin. He told her that he couldn't help it. Hawkgirl begged him to see a doctor to see if anything could be done but Green Lantern wouldn't hear of it. He told her that it was just a natural bodily function and he was just fine. Hawkgirl told him that there was nothing natural about it and if he didn't stop, he was one day going to "blow his guts out". The days went by and the League continued to suffer, all except Batman who had taken to wearing nose filters. Green Lantern continued to ignore Hawkgirl's warnings about "blowing his guts out" until One Thanksgiving morning Hawkgirl with more than a little encouragement from Flash came up with an idea. John had pulled a nightshift on the satellite and was fast asleep in his quarters. Some of the League had planned to have a thanksgiving feast so just
Before dawn, Hawkgirl, Flash, and Wonder Woman boarded the Satellite and went to the kitchen to prepare the feast. Wonder Woman fixed pumpkin pie, Flash took care of the mashed potatoes and gravy, and Hawkgirl prepared the turkey. With an evil grin on her face Hawkgirl took out the turkey's innards, and placed the guts into a bowl and quietly walked towards John's quarters.
"Are you sure about this Shayera?" Wonder Woman cautioned.
"I am not sitting next to him in that ship again, J'onn thinks it's pscychological and so do I, this is the only way."
Doubtful Wonder Woman looked to Flash for support but he was on the floor crying with laughter. Hawkgirl made her way to the unsupecting Green Lantern's room. And so hours before the flatulent Green Lantern would awake. And while he was still soundly asleep, Hawkgirl pulled back the covers and then gently pulled back John's jockey shorts. She then placed all of the turkey guts into John's underwear, pulled them up, replaced the covers and tiptoed back to the kitchen to finish preparing the meal. Several hours later the rest of the League arrived in time to hear John awake with his normal loud butt-trumpeting. This was soon followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as the Green Lantern of sector 2814 ran to the bathroom. Hawkgirl, and Flash, could not control themselves as their eyes began to tear up as they rolled on the floor helpless with laughter, leaving Diana to try and explain to a stern faced Batman. After weeks of putting up John's flatulence and his stubborn refusal to get treatment Hawkgirl had finally gotten even. About twenty minutes later, the league were shocked to see John Stewart standing in the doorway, a look of horror in his eyes.
Biting her lip to keep from laughing Hawkgirl asked John what was the matter. He said, "Shayera, you were right - all those times you warned me and I didn't listen to you." "What do you mean?" asked Batman "What has been going on here?". "Well Hawkgirl told me that I would end up blowing my guts out one of these days and today it finally happened. But with God's help and these two fingers, I think I got 'em all back in."
"You mean when Superman saved his butt?" asked Flash "and I mean literally saved his butt!"
"It's disgusting," Superman said to J'onn who nodded in agreement.
"Oh come on," said Flash "you mean to say you guys don't?"
"No," Said Superman and The Martian Manhunter in unison.
"Memo to self," muttered Flash "Aliens don't Far-"
"Well I think someone should tell him!" Interjected Hawkgirl and everyone gave her the "you've just volunteered yourself look." So the following day Hawkgirl decided to confront John Stewart over his disgusting new habit. She pleaded with him to stop ripping one off in the Javelin. He told her that he couldn't help it. Hawkgirl begged him to see a doctor to see if anything could be done but Green Lantern wouldn't hear of it. He told her that it was just a natural bodily function and he was just fine. Hawkgirl told him that there was nothing natural about it and if he didn't stop, he was one day going to "blow his guts out". The days went by and the League continued to suffer, all except Batman who had taken to wearing nose filters. Green Lantern continued to ignore Hawkgirl's warnings about "blowing his guts out" until One Thanksgiving morning Hawkgirl with more than a little encouragement from Flash came up with an idea. John had pulled a nightshift on the satellite and was fast asleep in his quarters. Some of the League had planned to have a thanksgiving feast so just
Before dawn, Hawkgirl, Flash, and Wonder Woman boarded the Satellite and went to the kitchen to prepare the feast. Wonder Woman fixed pumpkin pie, Flash took care of the mashed potatoes and gravy, and Hawkgirl prepared the turkey. With an evil grin on her face Hawkgirl took out the turkey's innards, and placed the guts into a bowl and quietly walked towards John's quarters.
"Are you sure about this Shayera?" Wonder Woman cautioned.
"I am not sitting next to him in that ship again, J'onn thinks it's pscychological and so do I, this is the only way."
Doubtful Wonder Woman looked to Flash for support but he was on the floor crying with laughter. Hawkgirl made her way to the unsupecting Green Lantern's room. And so hours before the flatulent Green Lantern would awake. And while he was still soundly asleep, Hawkgirl pulled back the covers and then gently pulled back John's jockey shorts. She then placed all of the turkey guts into John's underwear, pulled them up, replaced the covers and tiptoed back to the kitchen to finish preparing the meal. Several hours later the rest of the League arrived in time to hear John awake with his normal loud butt-trumpeting. This was soon followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as the Green Lantern of sector 2814 ran to the bathroom. Hawkgirl, and Flash, could not control themselves as their eyes began to tear up as they rolled on the floor helpless with laughter, leaving Diana to try and explain to a stern faced Batman. After weeks of putting up John's flatulence and his stubborn refusal to get treatment Hawkgirl had finally gotten even. About twenty minutes later, the league were shocked to see John Stewart standing in the doorway, a look of horror in his eyes.
Biting her lip to keep from laughing Hawkgirl asked John what was the matter. He said, "Shayera, you were right - all those times you warned me and I didn't listen to you." "What do you mean?" asked Batman "What has been going on here?". "Well Hawkgirl told me that I would end up blowing my guts out one of these days and today it finally happened. But with God's help and these two fingers, I think I got 'em all back in."