Jennifer - if I couldn't love her, then I must have been gay, right?
Right... She was so sweet and gentle, not like Keith is now. And yet, I
love Keith. I loved Jennifer, but not like I love Keith. Why is that?
Perhaps I inherit that from mom - maybe I subconsciously want to have
someone dominating in my life.
Keith walked in the room to find David immersed in his thoughts.
"Hey, baby."
"Hey, Keith. How was work?"
"I don't want to talk about it."
"O-kay..." Bitter silence for a paused moment. "Keith?"
"Yeah?"
"The Gay Man's Chorus thing called. I made it."
"Good for you," he said, and his words came out emotionless.
"Yeah... Hey, Keith?"
"Yeah?"
"Nothing..."
"What is it, David?"
"I just. I was just thinking about what you said in the kitchen
yesterday." Keith raised an urging eyebrow. "Well, you don't have to do
that."
"What?"
"Be so, you know: how you are, in order to show affection or how
comfortable you are with me. I love you, and I have this feeling that your
father didn't exactly advocate expressing your emotions."
"David, please don't try to psychanaly - "
"No. No, Keith, I won't let you cut you off. I feel insignificant."
"I'm sorry, David, I didn't mean to make you feel insignificant.
Please go on." Keith's mockery was biting to David's sensitive ego.
"You can express yourself here with me. It won't make you less of a
man to not be angry all the time."
"What the hell are you talking about, David?"
"What happened when you told your father that you were gay?"
"He, uh." Suddenly, Keith's hardness crumbled and fell about his
feet. His voice now to a bare whisper. "He shoved me, tried to hit me, but
I fought back. I was eighteen. That was the first time I ever knocked him
down - or even tried to."
"C'mere." David embraced the slightly larger man for a few minutes.
"You can do this with me. I want you to."
"What?"
"Show me your weaknesses. Let me in to see that you, like everyone
else, is vulnerable. I want you to explain to me what makes you feel that
way, why you think you get defensive sometimes."
"I already told you yesterday, David: I don't get defens - " His
voice increased in volume until coming to a full halt.
"I think that was the first time you ever did that. You realized what
you were doing, and you stopped yourself. I love you, Keith. I just want
you to be happy with me and comfortable enough to tell me how you feel."
"I feel.hungry."
"O-kay, it's an improvement." They laughed frivolously and kissed.
"I love you too, David."