A/N: This is my tenth real chapter! YAY! * Confetti falls from ceiling,
joyous music plays, Danielle starts dancing a previously unknown dance *
(Random Passing Person: O_o What are you doing?) I'm celebrating. (Random
Passing Person: Call that celebrating? HAHAHAhahaha!) Hey! Shut up! *
shoots red paintballs at Random Passing Person * HAHAHA! Make fun of me
will you!!! HAHAHAHA!!!!
"You! Explain! NOW!" Danielle ordered Kelsi as Gen was busy trying to chew her way out of the net.
"Nope. Not talking." Kelsi pursed her lips. Danielle pointed a paintball gun at Kelsi. "Still not talking." Kelsi said. Danielle shot a couple red paintballs at Kelsi's blouse, effectively ruining it. "Uh-uh. Not a word, 'specially 'cause you ruined my shirt."
Danielle sighed. "Okay, you can either talk willingly, or face the consequences."
"What's the consequence? Not shooting more red paintballs? It won't work."
"Erm. . . after the paintball consequence, there's an even worse one."
"Oh? Bring it on! (A/N: That was a terrible movie!) What's the next consequence?"
"^_^;; Umm. . . didn't think that far ahead. Okay, change of plan." She walked into the study and came back with a pair of scissors. She sat in front of Bilbo.
"Brace yourself. This'll hurt." She grasped the tape on his mouth and yanked it off.
"OWWIE!! * CENSORED MATERIAL * * CENSORED MATERIAL * CENSORED MATERIAL * JEEZ! * CENSORED MATERIAL *. He then ran out of swears, so he stopped screaming like a little girl. Only then did he notice he was sitting on the chandelier on the ceiling. (A/N: Don't ask how he got up there when his hands and feet are still tied up with duct tape. [Random Passing Person: How?] Umm. . . blame it on the One Ring)
Danielle somehow got Bilbo down from the ceiling and cut off the duct tape that was binding him.
"Okay, tell me what happened."
"Shouldn't we untie them first?" Bilbo asked.
She glanced at the bound hobbits with hopeful faces.
"Meh! They've been like that for several hours, another coupla minutes won't kill 'em." Kelsi yawned. The hobbits faces fell.
"SEVERAL HOURS!!!" Danielle screamed, and then quickly untied them, taking their gags off last. Four hobbits went flying, yelling terrible profanities that no hobbit should know.
"Tsk. Tsk." Scolded Bilbo. "Such language! Why-"
"It seems to me-" interrupted Danielle "That a hobbits not too far away, yelled much the same thing not too long ago. _" She stared pointedly at Bilbo, who had fallen silent. "I thought so."
"Now that you're untied and, well, reasonably alive, pray tell what torture these-" here she glared at the trapped girls." * CENSORED MATERIAL * did to you." She said in a sing-song sort a voice.
"It was terrible!" Pippin sobbed. "First they tied our hands and feet together with duct tape so we couldn't move. Then they-"
"We almost ran out of duct tape! IT WAS FUN!!!" Gen interrupted. She had finished chewing a hole in the net, but was hopelessly tangled in it. Too bad. ^_^
"Anyway," Pippin continued. "Then they brought out a bag of the juiciest, tenderest mushrooms you've ever seen! Then-" he stopped, tears streaming down his face.
Merry finished for him. "They ate them, slowly. One by one."
There was a scream of triumph from the net's direction, where Gen was hanging by her ankles. "I HATE mushrooms, but it was worth it! EVERY ONE OF 'EM!!!" She laughed hysterically, until Danielle shot her with the paintball gun. She continued like nothing had happened.
"Didn't they offer you any?"
"Yes, but in exchange, they made us do tricks, like begging, fetching and the like."
"No! They didn't!"
"Yes! I just said that, weren't you listening?"
"-_- It's a figure of speech."
"Like rhetorical!" Piped up Frodo.
"* sigh * Yes, Frodo. Like rhetorical."
A/N: Wee! Chapter finished! Gen actually helped with the fine-tuning of the wonderful jokes in this chapter, so thank Water Lily, k? (Random Passing Person: What wonderful jokes? Did I miss them? * sarcastic *
"You! Explain! NOW!" Danielle ordered Kelsi as Gen was busy trying to chew her way out of the net.
"Nope. Not talking." Kelsi pursed her lips. Danielle pointed a paintball gun at Kelsi. "Still not talking." Kelsi said. Danielle shot a couple red paintballs at Kelsi's blouse, effectively ruining it. "Uh-uh. Not a word, 'specially 'cause you ruined my shirt."
Danielle sighed. "Okay, you can either talk willingly, or face the consequences."
"What's the consequence? Not shooting more red paintballs? It won't work."
"Erm. . . after the paintball consequence, there's an even worse one."
"Oh? Bring it on! (A/N: That was a terrible movie!) What's the next consequence?"
"^_^;; Umm. . . didn't think that far ahead. Okay, change of plan." She walked into the study and came back with a pair of scissors. She sat in front of Bilbo.
"Brace yourself. This'll hurt." She grasped the tape on his mouth and yanked it off.
"OWWIE!! * CENSORED MATERIAL * * CENSORED MATERIAL * CENSORED MATERIAL * JEEZ! * CENSORED MATERIAL *. He then ran out of swears, so he stopped screaming like a little girl. Only then did he notice he was sitting on the chandelier on the ceiling. (A/N: Don't ask how he got up there when his hands and feet are still tied up with duct tape. [Random Passing Person: How?] Umm. . . blame it on the One Ring)
Danielle somehow got Bilbo down from the ceiling and cut off the duct tape that was binding him.
"Okay, tell me what happened."
"Shouldn't we untie them first?" Bilbo asked.
She glanced at the bound hobbits with hopeful faces.
"Meh! They've been like that for several hours, another coupla minutes won't kill 'em." Kelsi yawned. The hobbits faces fell.
"SEVERAL HOURS!!!" Danielle screamed, and then quickly untied them, taking their gags off last. Four hobbits went flying, yelling terrible profanities that no hobbit should know.
"Tsk. Tsk." Scolded Bilbo. "Such language! Why-"
"It seems to me-" interrupted Danielle "That a hobbits not too far away, yelled much the same thing not too long ago. _" She stared pointedly at Bilbo, who had fallen silent. "I thought so."
"Now that you're untied and, well, reasonably alive, pray tell what torture these-" here she glared at the trapped girls." * CENSORED MATERIAL * did to you." She said in a sing-song sort a voice.
"It was terrible!" Pippin sobbed. "First they tied our hands and feet together with duct tape so we couldn't move. Then they-"
"We almost ran out of duct tape! IT WAS FUN!!!" Gen interrupted. She had finished chewing a hole in the net, but was hopelessly tangled in it. Too bad. ^_^
"Anyway," Pippin continued. "Then they brought out a bag of the juiciest, tenderest mushrooms you've ever seen! Then-" he stopped, tears streaming down his face.
Merry finished for him. "They ate them, slowly. One by one."
There was a scream of triumph from the net's direction, where Gen was hanging by her ankles. "I HATE mushrooms, but it was worth it! EVERY ONE OF 'EM!!!" She laughed hysterically, until Danielle shot her with the paintball gun. She continued like nothing had happened.
"Didn't they offer you any?"
"Yes, but in exchange, they made us do tricks, like begging, fetching and the like."
"No! They didn't!"
"Yes! I just said that, weren't you listening?"
"-_- It's a figure of speech."
"Like rhetorical!" Piped up Frodo.
"* sigh * Yes, Frodo. Like rhetorical."
A/N: Wee! Chapter finished! Gen actually helped with the fine-tuning of the wonderful jokes in this chapter, so thank Water Lily, k? (Random Passing Person: What wonderful jokes? Did I miss them? * sarcastic *