A/N: Not much to say. So. . . yes. And more stuff. Here are some more
filler words. Hey, I look like I sorta know what I'm talking about! Cool.
Bilbo sat down with a sigh of contentment. "Now is the perfect time for some Old Toby." He brought out his pipe and weed. The other hobbits followed his example. But before a single pipe could be lit, Danielle snatched them away.
"NOT IN THIS HOUSE!" she roared. "I WILL NOT HAVE PEOPLE SLOWLY KILLING THEMSELVES WITH TOBACCO!"
The hobbits were taken aback. They had no idea what she was ranting about and told her as such.
As a reply, she got out a small book that was sitting next to the television and flipped through it until she found what she was looking for.
Danielle turned on the TV and put the station to the Discovery Channel. They were having one of their weeklong specials on tobacco.
"Here. Educate yourselves." (A/N: À la Pleakly. ^_^) The hobbits sat through almost half an hour of the stuff. By the end, not one of them wasn't white in the face.
However, Danielle was prepared for this reaction. She whipped out a box of Nicoderm and swiftly placed a patch on each of the hobbits' arm.
Sam was quizzical. "What's this for?"
"It's to help you stop smoking."
Sam didn't really understand, but then, he didn't understand a lot of things.
~*~
A couple of hours later, the hobbits were sitting around doing. . . umm. . . hobbit stuff. . . and more. . . stuff. . . and stuff. . . yes.
Gen, Kels, Kelsi and Paula had mysteriously appeared. * queue X-files music *
Anyways, one of the hobbits, Pippin I think, asked Danielle what she was yelling about during the night.
"Oh, you mean the Earth-inheriting-gnomes." She looked around secretively as if people were listening to her theory. _ _ After a moment, she deemed it safe enough to continue. "Gen and me have it all figured out." Gen nodded in affirmation. "The Earth-inheriting-gnomes have an alliance with the bloodsucking squirrels whooooo-" she raised her voice. "-are in league with the brainsucking llamas. ^_^" Gen and Danielle smiled happily.
"The government people have been puzzling over this for years!" Kels, Kelsi and Paula exchanged bemused glances. They had all heard this before and still didn't believe it.
The hobbits had understood nothing.
Suddenly, several men in black tuxes leapt from behind the couch, giving high fives to each other. "We know about the gnome/squirrel/llama situation! YES! Finally! Jean Cretien will be soooo happy!" They immediately crashed through the nearest window and skipped towards Ottawa.
The broken glass littered the floor. Danielle got a dust pan and broom and began sweeping it up nonchalantly, muttering "Third time this week."
Kels, Kelsi and Paula were dumbfounded.
The hobbits, as before, had understood nothing.
A/N: I forgot to say in my wonderfully informative authors note above that I don't own Jean Cretien (the prime minister of Canada for you Americans, eh?), nor the government people or the Earth-inheriting-gnomes or the bloodsucking squirrels (borrowed from Kelsi) or the brainsucking llamas (Kels'). I do however own the dustpan. ^_^
Bilbo sat down with a sigh of contentment. "Now is the perfect time for some Old Toby." He brought out his pipe and weed. The other hobbits followed his example. But before a single pipe could be lit, Danielle snatched them away.
"NOT IN THIS HOUSE!" she roared. "I WILL NOT HAVE PEOPLE SLOWLY KILLING THEMSELVES WITH TOBACCO!"
The hobbits were taken aback. They had no idea what she was ranting about and told her as such.
As a reply, she got out a small book that was sitting next to the television and flipped through it until she found what she was looking for.
Danielle turned on the TV and put the station to the Discovery Channel. They were having one of their weeklong specials on tobacco.
"Here. Educate yourselves." (A/N: À la Pleakly. ^_^) The hobbits sat through almost half an hour of the stuff. By the end, not one of them wasn't white in the face.
However, Danielle was prepared for this reaction. She whipped out a box of Nicoderm and swiftly placed a patch on each of the hobbits' arm.
Sam was quizzical. "What's this for?"
"It's to help you stop smoking."
Sam didn't really understand, but then, he didn't understand a lot of things.
~*~
A couple of hours later, the hobbits were sitting around doing. . . umm. . . hobbit stuff. . . and more. . . stuff. . . and stuff. . . yes.
Gen, Kels, Kelsi and Paula had mysteriously appeared. * queue X-files music *
Anyways, one of the hobbits, Pippin I think, asked Danielle what she was yelling about during the night.
"Oh, you mean the Earth-inheriting-gnomes." She looked around secretively as if people were listening to her theory. _ _ After a moment, she deemed it safe enough to continue. "Gen and me have it all figured out." Gen nodded in affirmation. "The Earth-inheriting-gnomes have an alliance with the bloodsucking squirrels whooooo-" she raised her voice. "-are in league with the brainsucking llamas. ^_^" Gen and Danielle smiled happily.
"The government people have been puzzling over this for years!" Kels, Kelsi and Paula exchanged bemused glances. They had all heard this before and still didn't believe it.
The hobbits had understood nothing.
Suddenly, several men in black tuxes leapt from behind the couch, giving high fives to each other. "We know about the gnome/squirrel/llama situation! YES! Finally! Jean Cretien will be soooo happy!" They immediately crashed through the nearest window and skipped towards Ottawa.
The broken glass littered the floor. Danielle got a dust pan and broom and began sweeping it up nonchalantly, muttering "Third time this week."
Kels, Kelsi and Paula were dumbfounded.
The hobbits, as before, had understood nothing.
A/N: I forgot to say in my wonderfully informative authors note above that I don't own Jean Cretien (the prime minister of Canada for you Americans, eh?), nor the government people or the Earth-inheriting-gnomes or the bloodsucking squirrels (borrowed from Kelsi) or the brainsucking llamas (Kels'). I do however own the dustpan. ^_^