Standard Disclaimers Apply
//Italics// = Flashbacks
Italics = Thoughts
What Keeps Us Alive
Chapter Two: I Wish I Could Tell You, But…
I am not free, but I long to be.
Injected, "faithless"
// She was empty. Useless. Angry. He had left her with nothing to hold onto. Not even the slightest of a memory. She was bitter and cold. Tired. Was this what felt like to be so helpless. She knew he meant well, not saying good-bye. She knew he meant well, hoping for so much more for her. But it wasn't happening. He had made a mistake. He had left her here to die.
"Baka," she whispered. "Aishiteru, regardless."
She turned from her place at the window in her room, grabbing the long dagger from the ledge. Jisatsu. Ritual suicide. Like mother, like daughter, and grandmother before. Everyone of them was in love with a man that left them to choke on the intensity of their love.
Blood. Pain. Cold. Breathe.
"You owe me one more day…" //
"Kitsune!"
Megumi shot up with a gasp as if she had been drowning in water for hours. Her head fell to her knees and she tried to ignore the throbbing that had started to march in her forehead. She could feel the cool breeze brush her hair against her knees as if it were trying to comfort her. What the hell was that?
"Kitsune, what's going on? I leave you for five minutes and you're hyperventilating!"
// "I don't understand why the hell you can't believe me. I always come back. Do you have so little faith in me?"
She couldn't take it anymore. She exploded. "Of course I believe you. I know you come back. But," she paused, turning away from him. Her throat felt like it was on fire. She placed a firm hand on the examining table.
"You don't always come back to me." //
"Kitsune?"
Breathe in. Breathe out. She had to get out of there away, so she could clear her thoughts. She pushed herself up and away from Sano, who wore an utterly confused look on his face.
"I've got to go," she lied. He looked at her, a unreadable expression on his face. She backed away slowly. One. Two. Three. Gomen ne, Sano. I honestly got to get out of here. I feel like I'm suffocating.
"But I thought we were-"
"Kaoru just called! I talk to you later," she called over her shoulder. Kaoru would understand even if she were lying to Sanosuke.
// "What is wrong with you? I don't-"
Lies. Lies. And more lie. She was bound to snap some day.
"I'm going." //
**
"Are you-"
She shifted around in his arms to regain some balance and then pushed away from him. Cold. Without her, all the warmth had drifted away like fog. And besides, it wasn't every day a beautiful girl fell into your arms. Kenshin shook his head. I'm spending way too much time with Sano.
"I'm fine," the girl finally spoke, turning to face him. Oh my… Beautiful didn't even do her justice. Waterfalls of ebony hair hung loosely around her back, a few strands matted to her forehead. He watched in avid fascination as her slender hands brushed her hair back. The girl sighed, her lips moved slowly as if she were struggling to breathe normally. Well, what do you expect, she nearly fell of the ladder. She brushed off her hands on her short school skirt. Don't even think about it, hentai. Forget it.
She looked up at him and he froze. Her sapphire-colored eyes, regarded him in shock for a moment. But it quickly disappeared and was replaced by rosy blush.
// Her spirit, he decided. It was her spirit that captured his intrigue. It was her compassion that earned his respect, regardless of the fact that she wanted it or not. It was her love, however that captured his heart.
He reached forward, grasping her small wrist in his large callused hands. She turned to look at him in confusion, even more so when he smiled at her. His fingers began to rub gently small circular motions atop her soft skin. It amazed him that even tough she practiced kenjutsu daily, by herself and with Yahiko, that she was so soft. He longed to go further in his explorations of the exposed skin and the Battousai in him heartily agreed, but he feared he would scare her if he did.
"Ke-"
"Shh…"
He brushed a loose strand of her away from her face and tucked it gently behind her ear. He let out a deep chuckle, her face contorting into a look of even greater confusion if even possible.
"One moment," he whispered. "One moment is all that Se- - I want." //
"Kirei," he whispered, tracing one finger against her lips. He felt as if he were engulfed by some trance. He couldn't even keep his hands away from her. All he wanted was to touch her and keep her near. He pulled her into her into his arms again, tilting her face to meet his. I can't even…
He leaned forward, ready to capture her lips with his own.
"Kaoru-chan!"
The girl, or Kaoru do to her response, broke away from his grasp to see another girl running frantically towards her. She's my partner. I nearly made out with my partner and Megumi's sister. I am so dead. Strangely enough, he still held a tight grip around her arm. His eyes widened.
"Megumi-dono?"
The other girl didn't say anything falling into Kaoru's arms. She was sobbing.
"It's happening again. Everything… The nightmare… Kaoru-chan, I feel like I'm going insane. I lied to Sano! I don't even lie to him. Oh god…"
She turned to look at him once more, expression unreadable. Kaoru then turned, leading her sister silently out of the library. The warmth was gone.
// "Come back," he croaked, reaching for her lifeless body. Even in the unmerciful nature of her death, she still carried a peaceful nature about her.
"Onegai, come back." //
He rubbed his eyes wearily, suddenly noticing two small books that had most likely fallen to the ground when Kaoru had fallen in his arms. He kneeled down to pick each up.
// "You die. I've won, Battousai."
Amber eyes glared dangerously at his opponent.
"You might win, but I'll still have her. She's my woman." //
Mine.
**
"I miss you, koishii."
She giggled like a school girl into the receiver of the telephone. Her husband always sounded like a lost puppy when called home from his business stays. This was when tormenting him was at its best.
"Oh really, Haijime-san? Does your wife know?"
He grunted much to her delight. It also meant that he was blushing within the confines of his room. Too bad he wasn't at the office. She could really get her kicks off then.
"You're cruel, Tokio. I tell you I miss-"
"Quit wining, baka. Would you rather be at the office? Or in front of our daughters were you never hear the end of it? I mean, since you are blushing like a fool."
Beat that, anata!
"Insufferable woman," Saitou muttered.
She snorted. "You still stink at comebacks-"
Tokio was cut off by the front door opening and slamming, both her daughters Megumi and Kaoru walking in with blank expression on their respective faces.
"Koishii?"
She looked at the clock. It's only two. I know they have the last two periods free, but what about their practices?
"I'll call you back."
She hung up, not even giving her husband a chance to respond and head towards the room of Megumi. She could hear the two girls' faint whispers.
Something's wrong.
**
His eyes were cold.
Empty.
He long to feel something, anything. But it was as if he had been born as a hollow body with only longings for things he couldn't have.
// "I will never be yours."
"I'm not letting you go," he retorted.
"What's the use? You've won. You told me yourself that he's dead. You have my body."
He grabbed violently, pulling her into his arms.
"You are mine." //
Enishi barely noticed his fist still in the mirror or the shards of glass that had fallen to the top of the bureau.
The cycle has no end.
**
"I don't understand-"
Seijirou Hiko waved his hand in absent dismissal. What more did the damn girl want from him? It was bad enough she was Haijime's last kid and had Shinomori on her side. He looked up at the pair, hiding a smirk that threatened to appear on his face.
"We just talked about the project and I'm sure you can find out what you need to do with Shinomori-san. Next time, though you won't be so lucky."
The bewildered girl nodded, giving Shinomori a weak smile and went to her seat. Hiko met the young boy's eyes.
You cut it close this time. Will history repeat itself in your favor?
**
Preview for Chapter 3:
Kaoru and Megumi have a mother-daughter talk with Tokio. Aoshi and Kenshin have a few words. Sanosuke gives Misao a ride home and Saitou comes home… 0_o
Thank Yous:
To everybody! Your reviews make a girl swoon and forget about her Gundam writer's block. *sweatdrop* Don't ask…
Author's Ramblings:
Again, thank you all! I'm so, so happy. First, Misao-chan about your offer e-mail me if you really want the job so we can talk. ^_^ Hey I can use my ramblings as a message board if I want to. *sticks tongue out at a glaring Saitou*
Saitou: I'm… I'm a softie!
*shakes head* He's still in shock with all the WAFF, don't mind him at all. Anyhow, if anyone was curious, the quote from the last chapter was from the first book of CLAMP's Clover. I recommend anything CLAMP!
I promise the letters will come, possibly the next chapter so that we can get it more of the past and all of that goodness. Major warning for angst ahead!
Keep on rollin' the feedback.