Author's Note: Before anything is started I want to make a clear warning to all of you dear readers, this interlude is completely bizarre on purpose. Yes, there is a purpose for this part. I promise that you will find out. I just want to make one thing clear before anything starts, Kaoru is in a state of unconsciousness due to the events that have transpired with Saitou and Tokio. Kenshin is just really confused… ^^;; I will continue this rant afterwards. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: No, I don't. I'd be a very wealthy woman if I did. Common sense, I guess.
What Keeps Us AliveInterlude: Sleep to Dream
//-//: Since the bold might not come out, subconscious thoughts.
~-~: With the possibility of the italics not coming out, dreams… For those who have no deductive skills like myself when your ready fics at two in the morning.
I have been locked in your heart shaped box for 'bout a week.
- Nirvana
There always had been a certain loneliness that snuck up in her heart every now and then. A feeling like she was always missing something. A feeling of longing. To want something that she lost, but had no idea how to find.
Tonight she would wander again. Tonight everything would be unlocked.
Tonight Kaoru would dream.
**
Lost. Cold. Alone. Hopeless. Empty. Dark.
Where was she?
Where was Kenshin? The others?
Her fingers traced along her body to check for any injuries that could have been possibly sustained.
Torn. Warm. Sticky. Blood.
A large gash to her right side.
Obvious sword injury. Warm. Sticky. Blood.
Where was she?
Alone.
Lost.
Kaoru struggled to open her eyes, only to be greeted by absolute darkness. She shivered, a small whimper of pain escaping her lips. Void. Warm. Sticky. Blood.
What happened?
How did she get here?
Releasing her grip on her injury, she began to feel around like a blind woman for any single of where she was. Any clue, even the slightest at all. Scared. Lonely.
Lost.
Her lips began to quiver. //Get a grip. Fight.//
//You've gotten this far.//
Wood. Wall. Shack?
She began to her footsteps coming towards her direction, her heart pounding loudly against her ribcage. She could practically smell her own fear. Lost. Empty. Warm. Sticky. Blood. Dark. The footsteps came to a stop and she could hear the sounds of a door opening. Boots. Male.
"Well look who's awake. I trust your stay has been well so far?"
Male. Deep voice. Leering. Taunting. Shadow. Evil. She whimpered.
Enishi.
The bastard had kidnapped her and she could see. Too dark. Too cold. Her blood was the only warmth available. She tried to push herself up to her feet, but quickly fell to her knees with the dirt and the pebbles scratching her body. Pain. Feeling. Dark.
"…ho-me…"
Her throat was dry and hurt. Everything burned. She couldn't see.
"Iie," came the murmured reply. "This is your home now. You will stay here until I feel it necessary for you to go."
Panic began to seep through her brain as she realized the predicament she had been placed in. She tried to push herself up to her feet, but fell again. Shadow. Cold. Alone. Void.
"…ho-me…Ken-s-hi-n…"
A low chuckle. Tired. So damn tired. Scared. Insanity.
"You will not live to see Battousai."
Footsteps leaving. Door slammed. Body hurts. Mind hurts. She welcomed the pain. Feeling. Anything. Nothing.
//You will not live to see Battousai.//
"K-en-shi-n… Onegai… I don-don't want to-be le-f-t…"
//Alone.
You do not want to die alone.//
**
He was trapped.
Lost.
He didn't understand who he was supposed to be.
Kenshin. Then. Now. Before. After. Battousai.
Who?
Where?
When was he supposed to understand these feelings?
Kenshin watched the sleeping girl on his bed toss and turn, completely unsure as to how deal with her. Every time he meant to reach out to her, he always found himself drawling back. Fear? Possibly. But he wanted to understand. He wanted to know why…
Who was she?
//Kaoru.
Your Kaoru.//
But why?
**
She was undeniably beautiful.
Even in the state of death, Kaoru had this glow about her. Long ebony tress fell against the dirt with the pools of blood glimmering in the moonlight. Her eyes were closed and her expression calm, as if she had been expecting the brutal blow that had led to her death.
Kaoru was dead. Gone. Lost to him.
His fault.
//My fault. Gone. My fault.//
His will was gone. His heart was gone. His every reason for living and subsequently for fighting was gone. Dead.
His fault.
//My fault. She's dead. Gone. My fault.//
He kneeled down next to her body, not caring about the burning he was feeling from the dirt and pebbles. He ached to touch her. He ached to feel the smoothness of her skin one last time. There would be no warmth. But at least he could let himself indulge in his first and last.
"I will deny you, Battousai. You will never have her again."
//Kaoru…//
He clenched his hands into fists. He would avenge her death. He would end his wandering days. He kneeled forward, fingers grazing over her hair, her face, and then her hands. Hands smooth and soft…
Kaoru had very bad calluses she had acquired from training with Yahiko earlier in the week.
//Kaoru…
Alive…
I am a man of many pasts. I had a wife. I was a killer. I fought for justice. I fought for pain. But nothing, not even Tomoe, drove me like you. I breathed for you, Kaoru. I would have killed for you.
I am insane for you.
I will find you.//
**
There were times when it wasn't so bad. Times like when her
father would show a smile or two to reassure her that the nightmares were just
dreams that she was having. But she started to feel violated almost. Exposed.
She was lost without her invisible protection.
**
"At least you're not fighting me, now."
She jumped from her place on the balcony and glared. She tried to hind a wince of pain from some of the injuries she still had from the week of hell earlier.
"I didn't exactly have much choice, did I?"
Her eyes narrowed at him, not exactly sure what to make of him yet. She didn't trust him, that was a given. But she was confused as to how she should react to him. One moment all she saw was this lost little boy, scared and lonely. Then there were the other times when she saw a derange ass as well, it was probably because of this that she didn't lose her focus at hand. She needed to get out.
How though?
How could she escape?
Kaoru turned to face Enishi, eyes narrowed in complete determination. This would do for now.
"Yuikishiro-san?"
There was a snort from the tall man as he leaned closer to her, emerald eyes full of curiosity. This would be the first time she'd even initiated conversation. Step one to getting his trust.
"Kaoru, I told to drop the formalities."
//A little hard when you practically tried to starve me, let alone kill me.// She sighed, inching closer so that she could see his eyes. Amusement. He was amused. //Ass.//
"I want a journal."
Frank. To the point. Voice didn't waver. She was not afraid.
"Nani?"
Amused.
"Well," she began. "I need to occupy my time somehow. I. Want. A. Journal."
He nodded, obviously seeing the need to please her.
And so the letters began…
**
Author Ramblings:
I know, I know it's been awhile. I blame it on my new Harry Potter fix. I'm addicted… ^^ But what can I say, with that and school's just incredibly overwhelming sometimes. Japanese class is driving me crazy since my professor's an ass and well, summer was incredibly hectic and what not. Anyhow, I could go on and on but that'll be boring. Thanks once again to my beta reader, chibi-angel for being such a wonderful dear and putting up with my "weirdness" as of now. ^^ Thank you to those who have stuck throughout the entire story so far, you're in for a ride…
All right then, onward with the ever-so important explanations of the "future" of this story. ^^ I know some people are thinking that I'm going to make them remember very soon, so I want to squash all rumors. I'm going to enjoy torturing them for awhile… -_- Anyhow, I promise I will be spitting chapters out faster since I'm kinda used to the college thing now. Physics sucks…
So review, and make me an incredibly happy author!