STANDARD DISCLAIMERS APPLY
Dedicated to all those non-towel Kenshin fans... For your vast imaginations and entertainment. Enjoy!
What Keeps Us Alive
Chapter Seven: The Games We Play
You gave him your blood
And your warm little diamond.
He likes killing you after you're dead
Tori Amos
"bold"- letters
"italics"- thoughts
//italics//- flashbacks
He comes and goes most of the day. It's odd that every time he tries to make conversation with me, he stops and looks up and then goes. I don't understand Yuikishiro-san sometimes...
Maybe it's this place.
It's maddening, you know.
The wind only blows in certain areas and flowers stop growing once the path to the house starts. I can see it through the window here, my only view to the outside world. Madness.
It's only madness.
And I'm not even in the shed anymore...
This place is made for forgetting. Desolate and alone, but what I don't understand is why me? If he knows that I have such strong feelings for you, then why did he bring me here?
I could never forget you, Kenshin...
**
He really didn't understand it.
Then again, she always did manage to confuse him.
Tomoe was an easily understandable woman. He could see her emotions clear and crystal cut. He knew her motives and her lies. He saw her intentions both good and bad. And he had loved her, she had been the first who had tried to touch him. But then in the end, she had driven him into madness, intentionally or not. But he had seen...
Kaoru on the other hand, was a matter onto herself.
Exceptionally beautiful, yes.
Irritatingly confusing, without a doubt.
The woman, his woman had this frightening sharp intuition. Never once had she ever been wrong about any situation that had been placed before them. She was quick-witted and knew her own faults. She had this innocence that he found immensely attractive, but in truth it was mixed with an aged mystery. His Kaoru had many secrets that he wished to unwrap and discover for himself.
But he was still confused...
His eyes closed and he sighed. He remembered finding her body and yet, here she laid before him with her hair strewed about her and her eyes closed.
She hadn't recognized him.
The look that she had given him back in his confrontation with Mibu's Wolf and his mate was maddening. It kept pushing at him, taunting and teasing-
His woman.
His own woman... did not recognize him and he had no damn idea to why. He leaned forward, his gaze intense. He wanted to know why all of this was happening.
Why had Kaoru referred to Saitou and his wife as her parents?
Why had she been afraid of him?
Why had she not recognized him?
"Uh---Kenshin..."
He reached out and brushed a strand of hair out of her face.
"Kenshin...."
Her eyes fluttered open.
**
"How long have you known?"
She could recognize the anger in his voice all too well. Anger laced with stress. Anger laced with fear. Anger laced with obsession. Anger and pain. Haijime Saitou could not hide these things from her, in this life and the previous. They both knew the extent of their bound. Now, it was a matter of protecting the three girls who had become her daughters. Her own flesh and blood.
"She would have gone to him regardless," she responded quietly. She turned her back towards him, ignoring the briefest flash of pain that crossed her husband's face. Emotions were scarce with him, but when he did show them in the slightest of ways, she could not begin to describe the effects of one simple smile and even one frown.
"You're avoiding the topic at hand, woman," he growled, inching closer to her position at the window. "You know how I-"
"Oh goddamn it!"
She slammed her hand against the wall, ignoring the pain that was creeping through her skin. Tokio was breathing heavily and her eyes were shut tightly. Overgrown prat, she thought. She took a deep breath to calm herself down. He would pull another ridiculous fight out of her.
"First off Haijime-san, I am your wife. I'm glad that you are completely capable of recognizing the fact that I belong to the opposite sex."
He made a motion to interrupt, but she held up her hand to silence him. Obviously, he had forgotten that when she was pissed, she was pissed. She sighed. He better grovel when we're done with this one.
"Secondly," she began again. "Whatever relationship you had with Battousai-san back then, is far from being applied now. Unless you're not telling me something, I suggest you sit and calm the hell down."
He sighed, turning away from her. Tokio's eyes softened and she walked closer, wrapping her arms around his lean waist. She listened to him breathe, hoping that some silence would get him to talk. But then again, her husband was always be a brute when it came to sharing how he felt with her.
"They're my girls," he murmured, taking her into his arms. "My children. Back then... When... Well, I was never home to even... I was never a good father to the boys. And with the girls, I can come home. I can be a good father. But now..."
"Anata..."
"Iie, I'm serious... I-"
She bit back the tears that were threatening to fall. Tokio reached up and gently brought his face down to look at her. "Anata, you're a good father. You've always been. The girls adore you, even though you can be a prick."
He chuckled, brushing a strand of hair away from her face. "What would I do without you to keep me grounded, woman?"
"You know it's taking every ounce of my body not to smack you senseless."
He snorted and Tokio's eyes softened. She sighed. "Anata. I guess the thing that's left..."
The all too familiar feral look reappeared on her husband's face.
"We start from the beginning."
**
I could never begin to understand why in fact you were with me, Kaoru. I didn't deserve you, you were far to good for me. I don't understand why you stayed... I am everything that you didn't need. Death, desire, hate... Kaoru, I am murderer.
You needed someone who could love you properly.
And obviously, I couldn't...
**
She could smell sandalwood. Potent. Almost comforting. A soft sigh escaped her lips. She shifted. Pillows. Flannel blanket. Warmth. Bed. Mom likes linen, Misao does too...and Megumi's got those funky-feeling sheets. She licked her lips, eyes fluttering open. Her vision was fuzzy and she struggled to find a stable-sitting position.
"You're awake."
Where am I?
She pushed herself back. "Where-Oh my God!"
Kaoru shot off the bed like her hair was on fire, covering her eyes and praying that she wasn't going to start blushing madly.
"What's wrong?"
She hissed, her hands covering her face. She could feel the heat rising to her cheeks. He's asking me what's wrong! Can't he see? Okay, so it wasn't every day that the hottest senior in school was stark naked in front of her, but still...
"Could you put some, well, some clothes on?"
He chuckled. "I could."
Her eyes widened behind her hands. He thinks this is a game. He's probably trying to get me back for Dad nearly killing him... But still, I'm not at home. So why am I here...in his house? Why doesn't he have any clothes on?
"I never thought you to be shy, Kaoru," Kenshin spoke, his voice laced with obvious amusement. She heard him take a step closer.
"I'm not," she managed to spit out. "You are...you just... Please, at least put a towel on? Just something. Please."
There was a shuffle and rustle, so she assumed he was complying with her simple request. She began to relax. Maybe he's just two-sided... Like Dad almost...
"Do you trust me, Kaoru?"
What?
"I...I guess."
"Good." Gentle hands grabbed her by the wrists. She sighed, feeling him inch nearer. Sandalwood. Kaoru cocked open one eye and blushed. Kenshin was standing a matter of inches away from her, amber eyes staring into her own. His mouth slowly curved up into a sensual smirk and he pinned her wrists above her head.
"Do you trust me, Kaoru?"
He lowered his lips to her neck without waiting for a response. She whimpered softly as his lips grazed her neck. Velvet. He nibbled an ear. Oh god... The scent of sandalwood was invading her senses to a maximum. He kissed her nose. Each eye lid. Twice. The side of her mouth.
"Ken-shin."
She could feel him smile against her. She moaned softly as she felt his tongue dart out and caress the surface of her lips.
"Say my name, Kaoru," he spoke huskily. He released her wrists from his grasp, pinning her body against the wall with his own.
"Open your eyes."
No.
His lips were about a fraction away from her own. In. Out. In. Out. Very slowly, she cracked her eyes open.
"Do you trust me, koi?"
Gentle, soothing... Trust me. Just a fraction. She brought a hand up to his face, tender fingers brushing against his face. His eyes closed and he sighed, as if he were trying to savor the moment.
"Yes," she breathed. "Yes, I do trust you."
"Then why," he whispered, eyes opening and a haunted look appearing.
Breathe.
"Why don't you remember me?"
Kaoru's eyes shot open. "Ken-"
But he had already fallen to his knees.
**
The room smelled like death. Reeking. Hollow. To a certain extent, he felt slightly taken at back. There was no honesty in death. No hope.
"Almost perfect," he murmured. "Almost..."
"Then it's not to your liking?"
Enishi looked up, startled. Piercing green eyes held him steady. They seemed to know his intentions, however closed he thought they might be. He sat down, picking up a book and began to leaf through it.
"Let's get this one thing clear," he began. His lips curved into a dangerous smirk. He had to assert who was the top in this. "I was the one who had you released. I brought you into this world again. I'm letting you play..."
"Ah, so you are... But do you really think you have that much control?"
Enishi hissed at the blow, but then regained his composure. He looked at his companion, his lips curving back into a smile. "Do you know how it feels?"
"I don't understand," came the response.
"It feels empowering," Enishi continued, leaning back. "It feels empowering to know that I took away the one thing that kept his sanity in check. I took away the woman he loves..."
There was a dry chuckle.
He ignored it. "It feels even better that I can take it away again."
**
Author's Corner... The Thanks and The Ramblings:
Koneko-chan: Once again, thanks so much for the lovely review. I'm very happy you are enjoying the story.
Red Ninja: Thanks... College has that irritating tendency to overload you with things that are really too stupid to do.
Kawaii Hoshi: Hope this settles you... ^_~
Demon Wolf: Sadly, no one has given me pictures yet. *cough* That would be nice though... Eve would love pictures... *shakes head out of daze* Hope you like non-towel claded Kenshin!
Linay: *blushes* Thank you for the compliments. So sorry, I haven't reviewed you in awhile. Must get back on track...
Dark Elf Gurl, Evil Karyta: Thank you!
Kiriko: Do you see hallucinations too? *grins*
Kaoru Himura!: Thank you, I'm glad you enjoy the story thus far. To answer your question, I will explain later why Saitou remembers what he does... And Kenshin, for now doesn't know what's going on... He's just slipping into Battousai and having no knowledge to what he's doing.
himura_li: I'm glad you two enjoy it. Thank you.
Shunu No Miko, test, KitKat, Shadow_Flame: Thanks.
jaded: Thank you. No, the position is closed but thanks for the offer.
dementedchris: Welcome. *blushes* Always one with the compliments...*blushes again* Damn this Fruits Basket kick. Oh, Sano and Megumi are coming back soon...In a big, big way...
Leigh: Thank you. I love this story to pieces. College just sucks sometimes... Explanations will come in time my dear... I'm going to be evil about it too... Oh, Saitou and Kenshin will have plenty of other opportunities to fight. Don't worry.
Mr./Ms. Blank Reviewer, lizzie, valthestampede, Izi-chan, Chibi-Miffy: Merci.
Jason: Thanks... There's going to be big hints dropping soon...
butterflygirl: Please don't commit ritual suicide. That would definitely be sad... And I'm reaching the heart of the story...Thanks!
Bunny: The towel is going to make its appearance in the next chapter. Its agent demanded a break from the abuse it was getting.
Nezumi Himura: Thanks for the interest in the story. ^^ I'm glad you enjoy it. Makes me happy!
Frog Bunny: I confuse the hell out of myself too sometimes... It'll get better though, I promise.
SakuraCherryBlossom: Kawaii... It's okay... Just as long as you think you can handle it. Be good though. ^_~ I love CCS. Have the magna and the anime series on DVD. Touya is totally hot. Heero is hot, too. I like Relena because... hmmm... I can't remember. But she does grow on you, if you think things and the situations through.
Happy New Year! Hope yours is full of good things! My present to all of you is this chapter and hopefully you enjoyed it. I'm going to get eviler...
I do apologize for not getting this out earlier. My aunt just recently passed away due to cancer, so it's been hectic. Another problem in the warfront is that my beta reader's on hiatus... *sighs* So those of you interested, please let me know. I really want to start kicking the chapters out faster again.
For future notice, I will go back and revise the story little by little because I saw a couple of mistakes that were pretty stupid. Also I might go back and add some things due to a direction that I'm planning on taking. Do keep that in the back of your minds.
Also, for those of you who think you know who the villain of the story is... The character is not. I'm been getting some e-mails on this issue. ^_~
Comments, thoughts, flames (for my entertainment of course!), don't hesitate to review. Makes me work a lot faster!!
Dedicated to all those non-towel Kenshin fans... For your vast imaginations and entertainment. Enjoy!
What Keeps Us Alive
Chapter Seven: The Games We Play
You gave him your blood
And your warm little diamond.
He likes killing you after you're dead
Tori Amos
"bold"- letters
"italics"- thoughts
//italics//- flashbacks
He comes and goes most of the day. It's odd that every time he tries to make conversation with me, he stops and looks up and then goes. I don't understand Yuikishiro-san sometimes...
Maybe it's this place.
It's maddening, you know.
The wind only blows in certain areas and flowers stop growing once the path to the house starts. I can see it through the window here, my only view to the outside world. Madness.
It's only madness.
And I'm not even in the shed anymore...
This place is made for forgetting. Desolate and alone, but what I don't understand is why me? If he knows that I have such strong feelings for you, then why did he bring me here?
I could never forget you, Kenshin...
**
He really didn't understand it.
Then again, she always did manage to confuse him.
Tomoe was an easily understandable woman. He could see her emotions clear and crystal cut. He knew her motives and her lies. He saw her intentions both good and bad. And he had loved her, she had been the first who had tried to touch him. But then in the end, she had driven him into madness, intentionally or not. But he had seen...
Kaoru on the other hand, was a matter onto herself.
Exceptionally beautiful, yes.
Irritatingly confusing, without a doubt.
The woman, his woman had this frightening sharp intuition. Never once had she ever been wrong about any situation that had been placed before them. She was quick-witted and knew her own faults. She had this innocence that he found immensely attractive, but in truth it was mixed with an aged mystery. His Kaoru had many secrets that he wished to unwrap and discover for himself.
But he was still confused...
His eyes closed and he sighed. He remembered finding her body and yet, here she laid before him with her hair strewed about her and her eyes closed.
She hadn't recognized him.
The look that she had given him back in his confrontation with Mibu's Wolf and his mate was maddening. It kept pushing at him, taunting and teasing-
His woman.
His own woman... did not recognize him and he had no damn idea to why. He leaned forward, his gaze intense. He wanted to know why all of this was happening.
Why had Kaoru referred to Saitou and his wife as her parents?
Why had she been afraid of him?
Why had she not recognized him?
"Uh---Kenshin..."
He reached out and brushed a strand of hair out of her face.
"Kenshin...."
Her eyes fluttered open.
**
"How long have you known?"
She could recognize the anger in his voice all too well. Anger laced with stress. Anger laced with fear. Anger laced with obsession. Anger and pain. Haijime Saitou could not hide these things from her, in this life and the previous. They both knew the extent of their bound. Now, it was a matter of protecting the three girls who had become her daughters. Her own flesh and blood.
"She would have gone to him regardless," she responded quietly. She turned her back towards him, ignoring the briefest flash of pain that crossed her husband's face. Emotions were scarce with him, but when he did show them in the slightest of ways, she could not begin to describe the effects of one simple smile and even one frown.
"You're avoiding the topic at hand, woman," he growled, inching closer to her position at the window. "You know how I-"
"Oh goddamn it!"
She slammed her hand against the wall, ignoring the pain that was creeping through her skin. Tokio was breathing heavily and her eyes were shut tightly. Overgrown prat, she thought. She took a deep breath to calm herself down. He would pull another ridiculous fight out of her.
"First off Haijime-san, I am your wife. I'm glad that you are completely capable of recognizing the fact that I belong to the opposite sex."
He made a motion to interrupt, but she held up her hand to silence him. Obviously, he had forgotten that when she was pissed, she was pissed. She sighed. He better grovel when we're done with this one.
"Secondly," she began again. "Whatever relationship you had with Battousai-san back then, is far from being applied now. Unless you're not telling me something, I suggest you sit and calm the hell down."
He sighed, turning away from her. Tokio's eyes softened and she walked closer, wrapping her arms around his lean waist. She listened to him breathe, hoping that some silence would get him to talk. But then again, her husband was always be a brute when it came to sharing how he felt with her.
"They're my girls," he murmured, taking her into his arms. "My children. Back then... When... Well, I was never home to even... I was never a good father to the boys. And with the girls, I can come home. I can be a good father. But now..."
"Anata..."
"Iie, I'm serious... I-"
She bit back the tears that were threatening to fall. Tokio reached up and gently brought his face down to look at her. "Anata, you're a good father. You've always been. The girls adore you, even though you can be a prick."
He chuckled, brushing a strand of hair away from her face. "What would I do without you to keep me grounded, woman?"
"You know it's taking every ounce of my body not to smack you senseless."
He snorted and Tokio's eyes softened. She sighed. "Anata. I guess the thing that's left..."
The all too familiar feral look reappeared on her husband's face.
"We start from the beginning."
**
I could never begin to understand why in fact you were with me, Kaoru. I didn't deserve you, you were far to good for me. I don't understand why you stayed... I am everything that you didn't need. Death, desire, hate... Kaoru, I am murderer.
You needed someone who could love you properly.
And obviously, I couldn't...
**
She could smell sandalwood. Potent. Almost comforting. A soft sigh escaped her lips. She shifted. Pillows. Flannel blanket. Warmth. Bed. Mom likes linen, Misao does too...and Megumi's got those funky-feeling sheets. She licked her lips, eyes fluttering open. Her vision was fuzzy and she struggled to find a stable-sitting position.
"You're awake."
Where am I?
She pushed herself back. "Where-Oh my God!"
Kaoru shot off the bed like her hair was on fire, covering her eyes and praying that she wasn't going to start blushing madly.
"What's wrong?"
She hissed, her hands covering her face. She could feel the heat rising to her cheeks. He's asking me what's wrong! Can't he see? Okay, so it wasn't every day that the hottest senior in school was stark naked in front of her, but still...
"Could you put some, well, some clothes on?"
He chuckled. "I could."
Her eyes widened behind her hands. He thinks this is a game. He's probably trying to get me back for Dad nearly killing him... But still, I'm not at home. So why am I here...in his house? Why doesn't he have any clothes on?
"I never thought you to be shy, Kaoru," Kenshin spoke, his voice laced with obvious amusement. She heard him take a step closer.
"I'm not," she managed to spit out. "You are...you just... Please, at least put a towel on? Just something. Please."
There was a shuffle and rustle, so she assumed he was complying with her simple request. She began to relax. Maybe he's just two-sided... Like Dad almost...
"Do you trust me, Kaoru?"
What?
"I...I guess."
"Good." Gentle hands grabbed her by the wrists. She sighed, feeling him inch nearer. Sandalwood. Kaoru cocked open one eye and blushed. Kenshin was standing a matter of inches away from her, amber eyes staring into her own. His mouth slowly curved up into a sensual smirk and he pinned her wrists above her head.
"Do you trust me, Kaoru?"
He lowered his lips to her neck without waiting for a response. She whimpered softly as his lips grazed her neck. Velvet. He nibbled an ear. Oh god... The scent of sandalwood was invading her senses to a maximum. He kissed her nose. Each eye lid. Twice. The side of her mouth.
"Ken-shin."
She could feel him smile against her. She moaned softly as she felt his tongue dart out and caress the surface of her lips.
"Say my name, Kaoru," he spoke huskily. He released her wrists from his grasp, pinning her body against the wall with his own.
"Open your eyes."
No.
His lips were about a fraction away from her own. In. Out. In. Out. Very slowly, she cracked her eyes open.
"Do you trust me, koi?"
Gentle, soothing... Trust me. Just a fraction. She brought a hand up to his face, tender fingers brushing against his face. His eyes closed and he sighed, as if he were trying to savor the moment.
"Yes," she breathed. "Yes, I do trust you."
"Then why," he whispered, eyes opening and a haunted look appearing.
Breathe.
"Why don't you remember me?"
Kaoru's eyes shot open. "Ken-"
But he had already fallen to his knees.
**
The room smelled like death. Reeking. Hollow. To a certain extent, he felt slightly taken at back. There was no honesty in death. No hope.
"Almost perfect," he murmured. "Almost..."
"Then it's not to your liking?"
Enishi looked up, startled. Piercing green eyes held him steady. They seemed to know his intentions, however closed he thought they might be. He sat down, picking up a book and began to leaf through it.
"Let's get this one thing clear," he began. His lips curved into a dangerous smirk. He had to assert who was the top in this. "I was the one who had you released. I brought you into this world again. I'm letting you play..."
"Ah, so you are... But do you really think you have that much control?"
Enishi hissed at the blow, but then regained his composure. He looked at his companion, his lips curving back into a smile. "Do you know how it feels?"
"I don't understand," came the response.
"It feels empowering," Enishi continued, leaning back. "It feels empowering to know that I took away the one thing that kept his sanity in check. I took away the woman he loves..."
There was a dry chuckle.
He ignored it. "It feels even better that I can take it away again."
**
Author's Corner... The Thanks and The Ramblings:
Koneko-chan: Once again, thanks so much for the lovely review. I'm very happy you are enjoying the story.
Red Ninja: Thanks... College has that irritating tendency to overload you with things that are really too stupid to do.
Kawaii Hoshi: Hope this settles you... ^_~
Demon Wolf: Sadly, no one has given me pictures yet. *cough* That would be nice though... Eve would love pictures... *shakes head out of daze* Hope you like non-towel claded Kenshin!
Linay: *blushes* Thank you for the compliments. So sorry, I haven't reviewed you in awhile. Must get back on track...
Dark Elf Gurl, Evil Karyta: Thank you!
Kiriko: Do you see hallucinations too? *grins*
Kaoru Himura!: Thank you, I'm glad you enjoy the story thus far. To answer your question, I will explain later why Saitou remembers what he does... And Kenshin, for now doesn't know what's going on... He's just slipping into Battousai and having no knowledge to what he's doing.
himura_li: I'm glad you two enjoy it. Thank you.
Shunu No Miko, test, KitKat, Shadow_Flame: Thanks.
jaded: Thank you. No, the position is closed but thanks for the offer.
dementedchris: Welcome. *blushes* Always one with the compliments...*blushes again* Damn this Fruits Basket kick. Oh, Sano and Megumi are coming back soon...In a big, big way...
Leigh: Thank you. I love this story to pieces. College just sucks sometimes... Explanations will come in time my dear... I'm going to be evil about it too... Oh, Saitou and Kenshin will have plenty of other opportunities to fight. Don't worry.
Mr./Ms. Blank Reviewer, lizzie, valthestampede, Izi-chan, Chibi-Miffy: Merci.
Jason: Thanks... There's going to be big hints dropping soon...
butterflygirl: Please don't commit ritual suicide. That would definitely be sad... And I'm reaching the heart of the story...Thanks!
Bunny: The towel is going to make its appearance in the next chapter. Its agent demanded a break from the abuse it was getting.
Nezumi Himura: Thanks for the interest in the story. ^^ I'm glad you enjoy it. Makes me happy!
Frog Bunny: I confuse the hell out of myself too sometimes... It'll get better though, I promise.
SakuraCherryBlossom: Kawaii... It's okay... Just as long as you think you can handle it. Be good though. ^_~ I love CCS. Have the magna and the anime series on DVD. Touya is totally hot. Heero is hot, too. I like Relena because... hmmm... I can't remember. But she does grow on you, if you think things and the situations through.
Happy New Year! Hope yours is full of good things! My present to all of you is this chapter and hopefully you enjoyed it. I'm going to get eviler...
I do apologize for not getting this out earlier. My aunt just recently passed away due to cancer, so it's been hectic. Another problem in the warfront is that my beta reader's on hiatus... *sighs* So those of you interested, please let me know. I really want to start kicking the chapters out faster again.
For future notice, I will go back and revise the story little by little because I saw a couple of mistakes that were pretty stupid. Also I might go back and add some things due to a direction that I'm planning on taking. Do keep that in the back of your minds.
Also, for those of you who think you know who the villain of the story is... The character is not. I'm been getting some e-mails on this issue. ^_~
Comments, thoughts, flames (for my entertainment of course!), don't hesitate to review. Makes me work a lot faster!!