***
Several days later, Farron sat on his brother's living room carpet with his niece, Rachel, rolling a ball back and forth between them. Rachel laughed endlessly, enjoying the game, and Farron just enjoyed the sound of her laughter and how her face lit up in delight each time she received the ball back. Being with the babies was a blessing and a relief from the tension of dealing with Frank's injuries. He and Kara took turns going to the hospital and staying with Rachel and Tristan. Thinking of the baby, Farron looked up to see his Shel gently rocking their nephew. She smiled softly when he caught her attention. "Is it bedtime for babies yet?"
Kara laughed, disturbing Tristan who had nearly fallen asleep. "I'm sorry, Little Man," she apologized warmly, but that didn't seem to matter much to Tristan. He squalled tirelessly to make sure everyone knew he was not happy. "It's definitely time for Mr. Cranky to be put down. Why don't you see to Rachel?"
Farron nodded and playfully scooped his niece into his arms. As he stood, he lifted her onto his shoulder, carrying her up to her room. Rachel giggled happily the entire way.
Kara watched them disappear up the stairs, following at a slower pace. She could feel the goofy grin on her face, loving the sight of Farron and Rachel together. Finally making it up to the nursery, and feeling rather exhausted by the time she did, Kara laid Tristan in his crib. She checked his diaper as she talked softly to him. Thankfully, he had settled down considerably. It took just a few moments of her soft speech to lull him into a deep sleep.
"Come here," Farron commanded, gathering her into his embrace when she entered the guest room. "You look tired, love."
She leaned into his strength, feeling better the moment his arms encircled her. "Tired is an understatement, but nothing matters once your arms are around me."
"Let's get you to bed, baby," he insisted.
He lovingly helped her undress and Kara had no problem letting him. These past couple weeks of being separated or together, but not together, had taken its toll on her. She was just grateful to be in the same room with him for a moment. Most of his time had been spent at the hospital with Frank. She didn't resent that at all, it was as it should have been. Frank needed Farron; Farron needed Frank. She hoped they would always be there for each other. When they weren't at the hospital, they were with their niece and nephew, making sure they received the love and attention they needed. She was tired. Dr. Berger assured her that her strength and stamina would return and probably with a vengeance. Until that time, she was taking things slowly. At least her nausea and fainting spells had ended. Had she told Farron yet? No. She released a pent up sigh as she slid between the bed sheets. She wanted to tell him, but things were still so crazy and she didn't want him distracted by anything when she told him. She wanted it to be special news, not news mixed with the painful circumstances that centered on his brother. Kara knew that was selfish, but she couldn't help her feelings. She wanted things peaceful when she told Farron he was going to be a daddy.
Farron lay on his back and wrapped his arms around her when she pillowed her head on his chest. "Better?"
"Much. Damn, it seems like forever since we've been in the same bed together," she lamented as she snuggled closer to him. There wasn't a way to get close enough.
"I know, love." He kissed her deeply when she lifted her head to kiss him. "Nothing's right without you."
Kara nodded and snuggled back down against him. "I feel that way, too, darling Farron." She yawned loudly, causing him to chuckle. The sound of his laughter was like a soothing balm to her soul.
"Goodnight, sleepyhead." He kissed the top of her head, silently wishing it were more than the innocent kiss it was. He had missed her terribly these past few days. He realized how idiotic that sounded, after all, they were staying in the same house, but most of their time was spent apart. His want and need was only growing with each passing moment that he held her in his arms, but he pushed those feelings aside. He could see how tired she was and hoped that she would rest now that they were together.
She giggled softly and pressed a tiny kiss to his chest. "Goodnight, my Knight in Shining Armor."
He stroked her hair softly and smiled into the darkness. Only the woman he held in his arms would ever consider him such a man. He blessed the day that his brother and sister-in-law moved into their home. If not for that housewarming party, he never would have met his future.
***
Farron watched curiously as Kara tentatively accepted the glass of beer brought to her by Sgt. Stu Coleman, one of his friends on the CPD. Officers Scott Deaton and Terry Creecy also joined them. She smiled kindly and said, "thank you, but I didn't order this," and then pushed the beer slightly away from her. He lifted his glass of bourbon and frowned slightly at his wife. He knew she wasn't truly fond of beer, but she would drink it if it were offered. He took a quick sip of his drink and set the glass down to lean closer to her. "Something wrong, love?" Kara shook her head but didn't speak. He wondered why she had agreed to the invitation out when Stu suggested they get together. It had been ages since they had been out of the house and he thought a night of levity would be good for them. "Shel, if you didn't want to go out, you could have said."
Kara gave him a curious look. Was he serious? Of course she didn't want to be out at a bar tonight. Donovan and Loralei had taken the kids for a well-deserved vacation. What she wanted now more than ever was a quiet night, no family, just the two of them so she could finally tell him the news. Screw it. She had waited and waited for the right time and it just was never going to happen. She leaned into him until her lips were close to his ear and whispered loud enough for him to hear through the din. She smiled knowingly when he pulled back with a stunned expression on his face. He looked like a man who had just been delivered news that could not possibly be what he had heard. It was rather comical to watch.
Farron stared at his wife who picked a strange place to deliver such a bombshell. Naw, he had to have misheard her. "What did you say?"
Kara laughed. She was getting impatient now. No more whispering. "I said...you're going to be a daddy! I'm pregnant!"
As the entire room quieted, Farron stood, lifted her into his arms, and happily twirled her around, all the while emitting a whoop of joy. Everyone joined in and soon the place was filled with hoots and hollers. Farron laughed deeply and sat his wife back on her feet. "Oh, love! This is wonderful. When did you find out?"
Kara offered him another smile and leaned toward him again. Darling, if you thought that was amazing news, get yourself ready!
Farron listened intently, nodding slightly as she spoke. He pulled back when she finished speaking. If he had looked stunned before, he couldn't imagine what he looked like now. "Twins?" he questioned disbelievingly. Kara nodded, a goofy grin plastered on her face. "Ta-twins?" he asked again, this time falling back into his chair with a hard thump.
Kara laughed amusedly and patted his cheek. "Farron? Farron, it's going to be all right! Farron?" She couldn't stop laughing; he just looked so lost for a moment. Happy, but completely out of his element.
"How could this happen?" He shook his head, still not believing what he had heard.
His bright, elated smile belied any fears Kara might have had that he wasn't happy. He was, she could see that, he was just having troubling with the 'twins' part.
"Well, Daddy," Stu chided. "If we have to explain that to you, you're in some pretty sorry shape."
Farron stood suddenly and brought Kara with him. He wrapped her in a gentle hug and kissed her deeply. "Does anyone else know?"
Kara shook her head and smiled up at him. "I couldn't tell anyone until I had a chance to tell you. I'm sorry it took so long, but things have been so topsy-turvy in our lives."
"It's okay, love. You've made me the happiest man in the world." He kissed her forehead tenderly. "I can't wait to share the news with Frank and Loralei."
Kara nodded and her eyes flashed. "Now?"
"Of course!"
***
Kara awakened when the soft light from the bedside lamp invaded her sleep. She turned onto her side and shaded her eyes with one hand as she looked up at Farron. He was propped up against the headboard reading the note that had been on the fax machine when they had gotten home that evening. So excited to share the news with his twin that he was going to be the father of twins himself, he was completely disheartened by the contents of the fax. Frank had left Chicago for their vacation with the intention of never returning.
"Farron?" she asked, sleepily.
"Shh...go back to sleep, Shel," he whispered softly. "I'm sorry I woke you."
"It's okay, baby." She sat up and scooted back toward him, resting her back against him as his arm came around her waist. She noticed his attention stayed focused on the note that haunted him even as his hand moved from her hip to the slight bulge of her lower abdomen. His fingers danced lightly over her sensitive skin, almost tickling her. She rested her head against his as she sighed contentedly and covered his hand with her own. "Talk to me," she urged, knowing he was deeply troubled by his brother's revelation.
He pressed a kiss to her forehead and released an uneasy breath. "You'll think me a fool."
She chuckled softly and snuggled further into his embrace. "I sincerely doubt that, Farron." She reached over, gently took the note from his hand, and set it on the nightstand. "Tell me."
He sank back down onto the bed and she moved with him, positioning herself on her belly so that she lay slightly atop him. He looked deeply into her eyes. "I'm afraid, Shel. So afraid I won't be a good father," he finally admitted.
"Oh no, baby. You will." She stroked his cheek tenderly. "Just watching you with Rachel and Tristan tells me so." Didn't he know? Didn't he realize just how incredible he was? No, he still looked in the mirror and saw the selfish monster he used to be before she had known him. When would he realize he was not the same man?
He hugged her tightly when she began to nuzzle his neck, teasing his sensitive flesh with tiny butterfly kisses. "Babysitting is not the same, love. Not the same at all." His fingers traced a light path up and down her spine, causing her to shudder against him just a little. "I want to be a good father. And twins?"
"Two for the price of one," Kara commented against his shoulder. A sudden thought leaped into her mind, stopping her from the enjoyable task of tasting the masculine flesh of his shoulder. "Aren't you happy, Farron? Don't you want our babies?"
He drew in a sharp breath. His worries about his capabilities of being a good father had put false notions into her head. Happy? He was beyond ecstatic. "Querida, believe me when I tell you I love our babies...more than I could ever say. I've dreamed of having children...with you. Mother of my children...do you know what you have given me?"
Her lips flitted over his in a soft caress. "The same that you have given me, darling Farron." She closed her eyes and snuggled down against him, her cheek pressing against his firm chest. "A part of you, of both of us, lives within each child and I cannot wait to hold them in my arms."
"Nor can I, love. I have no doubt the little ones will be loved and even doted upon, but..." I need guidance. I know how to be selfish, but can I be selfless? he wondered to himself as he continued to stroke the silky skin of Kara's back.
"Tell me what's bothering you...really bothering you, Farron," she insisted, lifting her head to see his face. "I know you're frightened, but what is it...what's eating you?"
She was good. She was damn good. She knew he was already over-the-moon in love with his children, even though he had only known about their existence for a few hours. When he asked what had taken her so long to share the news with him, she had explained that she had been selfish in wanting no outside distractions when she told him. She wanted him to think only of the babies and nothing else. She didn't want the announcement of the twins marred by any kind of sadness. So, here he was lamenting over things, making a happy occasion a dismal one. What was bothering him? He felt not quite whole. Something was missing from his 'self' and he knew he needed to be complete to fulfill his duties as a father. His eyes drifted to the white sheet of paper lying on the nightstand. "My brother...I feel...alone, deserted." When he saw the hurt expression cross her beautiful face, he felt like a heel. "No, love. Not you. God, no. I would be completely lost without you. It's that twin thing, I guess. That connection...it feels...distorted. It's hard to explain, but it...hurts."
Tears stung the back of her eyes when she heard the pain in his voice. "Tell him, baby. Tell him how much you need him, especially right now. He'll understand."
"Thank you," he said, kissing her tenderly.
Kara chuckled. "You're welcome, but I didn't do anything."
"You listened..."
"I love you," she stated simply.
He reached over and switched off the lamp. "There is one more thing..."
"Yes, baby?"
"Make love with me," he whispered huskily into her ear as he rolled her neatly beneath him.
"Mmm....my pleasure," she assured him, lovingly welcoming him inside her.
***
To be continued