Title: Amnesia Amigoes
Author's: Aenea and Mindalme (combined effort, praise goes to both…flames go to neither).
Summary: After being clonked over the head, Harry begins to show signs of amnesia. Ron and Hermione decide to milk the situation for all it's worth. Also stars a clinically depressed Draco Malfoy. Probably only amusing the mentally deranged, but give it a go anyway.
Amnesia Amigos
Chapter One
*In the Infirmary*
Harry came to with an aching head and a desperate need to use the toilet. He reached out and somehow found his glasses (even though he had no idea they were there) and pulled them on. Then he looked around the room. It appeared he was back in the infirmary. Again. Harry turned to look beside his bed.
"Whoa, I'm seeing double," said Harry, peering at the person…people…whatever…in front of him. He tried to rub his eyes, but just ended up hitting his glasses.
"No, we're twins," said Fred and George in unison, their deafening voices reverberating through Harry's head. He winced slightly.
"Yeah, I know, but there's four of you," Harry replied groggily. The quads frowned at each other and then looked at Harry.
"Are you alright? You've been out for awhile…" said Fred…or George…or other Fred…or other George. Harry blinked woozily, then groaned quietly.
"Wait, now there's only three of you," said Harry, then he frowned. "That doesn't work…." He blinked again, slower this time.
"Oh, good, now there's two," he said, relieved.
"No, that's not good. George went outside to find Ron," said Fred, sounding worried. Harry frowned, puzzled. Then George came back inside.
"Oh, now it's right!" Harry declared. Then Ron entered the room.
"AAHHHHH!!! There's three and they DON'T LOOK THE SAME!!!" screamed Harry before passing out.
"Okay, he obviously hit his head harder than we thought," said Hermione, who'd been standing with Harry in the otherwise empty room all along.
*
Harry came to with an aching head and a desperate need to use the toilet. He reached out and somehow found his glasses (even though he had no idea they were there) and pulled them on. Then he looked around the room. It appeared he was back in the Infirmary. Again. Harry turned to look beside his bed.
"Whoa, I'm seeing double…and I have deja vu," said Harry. He decided not to try to rub his eyes this time.
"Umm…we're twins," said the Weasley twins, frowning at each other.
"Haven't we done this already?" asked Harry, eying the room suspiciously. It just looked back in confusion.
"No…" said the quads slowly, frowning hard at him.
"Oh…okay then," Harry replied, cheering up immediately.
"Are you alright? You hit your head pretty hard…" said one of them.
"Yeah, I think so," replied Harry to his bedside table. It smiled back at him, so he waved at it joyously.
"Dude, we're over here," said the quads from all corners of the room. Harry blinked hard, and suddenly the room came back into focus. There were only two twins. He sighed in relief.
"Are you both there?" he asked warily.
"Ya," said Interchangeable Weasley Twin.
"Good-oh," said Harry.
They talked for a while about their last Quidditch match, and then suddenly the Weasley Twins stopped and grinned evilly to each other.
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking B-1?" asked one twin (I can't be bothered figuring out which one.)
"Yeah, that we're not bananas!" yelled the other, then grinned at the room in general and Harry in particular. There was a sound of a drum loop followed by a crashing cymbal. Harry cringed- the joke really was awful.
"Ha ha ha!!! Anyway, that's true, but not what I was thinking…what I was thinking was…"said one.
"That we should play a joke on Ron and Hermione," finished the other.
"Dude," said Harry. "That was freaky."
"Drip drip," said the tap, which everyone ignored. Poor tap.
"Yeah, anyway, what we've gotta do is…"
whisper whisper whisper…
A few minutes later Fred and George left the infirmary and grinned at Ron and Hermione, who were standing in the hall.
"You can go in now," they said, struggling, and failing, to dampen the demonic glint in their eyes.
*In the infirmary, continued*
Hermione and Ron walked cautiously into the room and approached Harry hesitantly. Harry turned to them, and the briefest hint of recognition shone in his eyes…only to be covered up so quickly by confusion that Hermione wasn't sure it had been there to start with.
"ARRRRRRRRRGH!!!" screamed Harry (like a girl). "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!" Hermione and Ron glanced at each other, worried. Hermione was pretty sure that he hadn't recognised them now.
"We're your friends…you know, your friends," she ventured anxiously, looking at him intently. Almost as if…she could wish Harry better. And who knows, she's a witch, it could happen…
"I have friends?" asked Harry, with an expression somewhat reminiscent of Lockhart's at the end of their second year. (The wish obviously didn't work.)
"Yeah, two of 'em," Ron replied, cheerfully. Harry looked dejected.
"Only two? Why doesn't anyone like me?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!??!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?" he wailed, his face distraught.
"Err…we'll be right back," said Hermione as they backed slowly out of the room. Suddenly she turned and sprinted. Ron followed. Harry stared after them, then began to talk to his feet.
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Authors' Notes: What did you think? Should we continue? Well, if you don't TOUGH!! We're going to anyway. If you read all the way through the first chapter you get a cookie. If you reviewed you get an entire box of cookies and a sports car. (Note: these are virtual sports cars and cookies, only exist in the land of fanficdom).