Amnesia Amigoes- Chapter THREE

Previously in 'Amnesia Amigoes': Hermione spoke with one of the Weasley twins and blew off half his head.  She and Ron discover that Harry may be suffering amnesia.  Harry discovers the password to the Gryffindor common room and introduces himself to his hands.  Hermione and Ron decide to play tricks on Harry.  Oh, and Hogwarts; a History had a title change.

 

*Outside the Charms Classroom*

 

"Hey Harry?" Hermione called from the Charms corridor.  She waved madly at him, looking like a right retard.  Which was pretty normal for Hermione.

"Who?" asked Harry.  He turned to a nearby person.  "Is your name Harry?" he asked loudly, staring at something just over the person's left shoulder blankly.

"Whatever dude," they said, and then ran off, glancing nervously backward every few meters.

"Your name's Harry, Harry," said Hermione in her I'm-talking-to-morons voice.  She used it a lot around people like Draco Malfoy…and Hagrid.  He may be a lovely person, but he was no genius.

"Oh…I get it.  I'm Harry," said Harry in a voice of dawning realization.  He grinned broadly at that same space, then nodded as if it had said something.

"Yeah," said Hermione, relieved.  Harry frowned down at the books in her hands, then at the ones in his own hands.  He shrugged and dropped them on the floor.  One of the books rolled away from the others, revealing the title.  ('Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone'- hey, the Harry Potter books appeal to everyone)

"Cool…I have a name.  Bob, boB, I'm Harry," he said to his hands as he turned to leave.  Hermione stopped him with a hand on his arm, and smiled.

"That's good Harry," she said reassuringly, nodding. Harry stared at her, and then suddenly burst into tears.  Hermione jumped.

"Can you tell me bout myself? I don't know anything about myself! You can't understand what it's like not knowing who you are!!" Harry wailed desperately, a puddle of tears forming on the floor in front of him. (The wall stared back unhelpfully.)

"Yes, well, umm… I'm your girlfriend… Yes, your girlfriend… and um… you like to buy me everything I want," replied Hermione, shifting on her feet and looking at the floor.  She backed away from the water warily.

"Oh…" said Harry, who stopped crying immediately. He stuck his tounge out and looked thoughtful. "What do you want?" he asked, kicking the water around playfully. (It was a bloody big puddle.)

"Umm…. a Ferrari?" Hermione ventured, and then bent down to pick up Harry's books before Harry could splash them. 

"Okay," said Harry cheerfully, nodding and stomping on the puddle.  The bottoms of his trousers were now thoroughly damp.  "Get me an order form and it's all yours."

"Here," said Hermione, handing him the books…and a Ferrari order form that she just happened to be carrying around in her pocket.  Harry signed it with a flourish and handed it back to her.

"There you go, one Ferrari coming up," he said, smiling at her in a way he hoped was roguish and not just pitiful.  Hermione frowned.  Seems like his smile failed.  Harry settled for jumping as hard as he could into the puddle.  Hermione backed away just in time to avoid being drenched from head to foot.  Oliver Wood, Ginny Weasley, Cho Chang, and just about everyone else in a 2 mile radius of Harry and the puddle weren't quite as lucky.  Hermione walked back towards Harry once it seemed like he was finished.

"I want a diamond ring, a mansion and a holiday home in Majorca," she said, getting caught up in the moment.  She waited anxiously for Harry's response.  Harry spun around in a circle, spraying water everywhere.  Hermione frowned at her socks- they were saturated.

"Anything you want, I will get you." declared Harry proudly.  He started to walk away again when he remembered something.

" Was there any special name I called you?" Harry asked, his face earnest.

"Well... You always call me your little princess. And you also used to call me your special pumpkin pastie. You said I was sweeter than the sweetest sugar quill you ever saw. You said..."

"Ummm.... I was actually asking that tap over there," Harry said, anxiously.  He waved at the tap.

"Drip drip," said the tap, grinning.  Someone had finally noticed it!

"Oh" said Hermione, sounding rejected. She glared at the tap jealously, then pouted and looked at Harry with puppy dog eyes.

"God she looks like a retard!" thought Harry.

"But... I'm sure ...I can still call you all of those things... my...little...umm.... princess." Harry said, shuddering inwardly.

"That's great Harry!!!!" said Hermione shrilly.  Harry stared blankly at a wall for a moment and vaguely, before turning and running as fast as he could for the nearest bathroom.  Hermione stared after him, shrugged her shoulders, then happily turned and skipped joyfully back to the common room.  Today was a great day.  Harry thought she was his girlfriend, and was willing to buy her anything money could buy. What better way to finish off a perfect day than by doing her charms homework?

 * 2.52621654165 seconds ago, near where Harry and Hermione had just been standing*

Draco Malfoy was skipping happily through the castle, singing about rainbows and butterflies, when he heard some voices. "Who is that, talking inside the castle on such a beautiful day? Why aren't they outside, enjoying the sunshine?" he thought cheerfully. He paused, listening.

"...Still call you all of those things... my...little...umm.... princess."

Malfoy, stopped skipping, and dropped the bunch of flowers he was holding in shock. That was Potter!

"... great Harry!!!!"

Malfoy's eyes widened, giving him the look of one of Santa's very distorted elves. (The kind you see in cartoons.) That was Hermione Granger, the secret love of his life! She was in love with Harry Potter!

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Malfoy screamed, falling to the floor. He started banging his head against the cold stone, crying, moaning, whinging, complaining...you get the picture.

"Why doesn't she like me?!?!?!?! I did everything for her! I acted the part of the bad guy, even got myself sorted into the house full of evil people, insulted her and her friends at every opportunity and all so that one day she would fall in love with my nasty character, and I could whisk her away into the night, like it happens in all of the movies! But now that will never happen, because of Harry Potter, the hero of our lives!  It's not FAIR!!! Why can't I have a fairy tale ending?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How can she not like me?!?!?!?!?!  WHAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he cried, sobbing into his hands.  A lot of people stared at him, then ducked into classrooms for no apparent reason.

Draco summoned his remaining strength, and crawled, sobbing, to the window that 'just happened' to be right in front of him. He pulled himself to his feet, dragged himself onto the window ledge, stood up, and flung his arms to the heavens above (a la "Titanic").  People backed into the corridor cautiously, believing it to be safe again.

"This is it... The end... They can't say I didn't try... " he whispered to himself.  He took a shaky breath, and looked around…and down.  It was a long way- certain to kill him.  Draco took a deep breath.

"Goodbye, cruel world!!!!" he screamed at the top of his lungs.  The corridor (that had been quite full again) suddenly emptied.

He rocked to and fro for a moment, before leaning forward and throwing himself into the depths of the sky.

Falling, falling, falling...

Authors' Notes: Will Draco survive?  Find out next time in 'Amnesia Amigoes'!