Disclaimer: Ranma ½ and all its characters are the property of Rumiko Takahashi and have been used without permission. This fanfiction was written for personal enjoyment, and hopefully the enjoyment of the readers.

Key:

"speech"

::thoughts::

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Usotsuki

by Rain

Part Two.

Kasumi had advised Akane not to meet with Ranma today, as there was some stupid American saying that the groom shouldn't see the bride until she walked down the aisle.

::Screw American traditions. How many of them get divorced anyway?:: she thought, agitated, as she walked down the hall to Ranma and his father's room. She knocked lightly and waited until Ranma called "Come in, Kasumi." Akane figured Ranma was assuming it was Kasumi (a) because of that silly saying, and (b) because Akane never knocked, but simply barged in.

She stepped in the room, shutting the door behind her softly. "Um, it's not Kasumi, Ranma, it's me."

She was sure she saw him start a little, before he turned around slowly to face her. He had been standing with his back to the door, one foot casually up on the room's only chair, tying his tie.

Akane blushed a little when he looked at her. It wasn't because she was shy in a wedding dress, she had worn one before. Twice, actually. It was just Ranma. He always had that affect on her at the weirdest times, usually doing something ordinary, second nature, or nothing at all.

Akane wished inwardly that his mother didn't always insist on him wearing a tuxedo. Not that he didn't look good in one; Ranma looked handsome in just about anything he wore. Including what he was wearing now. But still, they didn't seem to suit him like his familiar Chinese silk shirts did. She did have to give Obasan credit this time, though. The navy-blue color of this one, especially the steel-blue gray of the tie, really brought out Ranma's deep eyes. She realized she had been standing there, blushing, for about a minute now, just staring at him.

She cleared her throat feeling a bit stupid, but Ranma didn't seem to notice. No matter how many times he had seen her in a wedding dress, whatever kind they were, Akane always looked wonderful. Ranma wondered why she hadn't worn her mother's dress before. It was simple yet it brought out all the better points of her figure that Ranma had a hard time pretending to ignore. She didn't have her veil on yet, it was a bit early for that, but Kasumi had already done her hair up in an elegant style. Although Akane's hair was still fairly short, it wasn't as short as it had been when Kasumi first trimmed it for her over a year ago, and there was enough loose so that Kasumi could twist back a simple braid to clip in a blue butterfly barrette at the back of her head on either side, while the rest of her hair hung loosely around her slim neck. It was also the first time Ranma had seen her wear earrings. In short, Ranma couldn't help staring at her either. Akane cleared her throat, snapping him out of it.

"Um, Kasumi sent me to tell you that the, uh, that she and Nabiki are almost ready…" Now that was a blatant lie; Kasumi would certainly not have sent Akane in her dress to tell Ranma something so menial. But neither of them minded, so that was beside the point. "Oh, Ranma, I forgot. I don't think Ryoga is going to make it."

Ranma had asked Ryoga to be his best man. Differences aside, the two weren't enemies, and they weren't friends; they were rivals. It had been some months since Akane had found out about Ryoga's secret, and also his feelings for her, but she had put that behind her, and honestly she wouldn't have minded if Ryoga had managed to show up. Things had been sorted out since then between them, and they were friends again, so to speak.

"Oh," Ranma said simply. He really didn't know what to think, it wasn't as if he could have expected him to make it, and he hadn't really been counting on it. It was the gesture that counted, after all. He would have liked him to be there if it wasn't such a fake affair… And that was what had been nagging at him all day.

Akane was being forced to marry him. And he hated it. It wasn't that he didn't want to marry her, far from that, in fact that was what he wanted more than anything else.

But not like this.

It felt wrong and forced and he couldn't help thinking that Akane had given in without a fight simply because she was tired of their parents shoving this on them whenever things got too quiet around the house. That she was giving in because it was easier than fighting it. And to be honest he was tired of fighting it too.

But he wanted to marry her because… because he loved her. He really did. But the fact that Akane probably could never love him, couldn't be doing this of her own free will, that Akane was just surrendering… made him feel sick, and ashamed.

He was giving in mostly because he wanted to get the chance to love her so bad. He wanted to marry her and no one else. But that was selfish and it was anything but fair. Akane deserved to be able to choose. Akane deserved someone who was worth the wonderful person that she was. Akane deserved to fall in love with whoever she wanted to, and be proposed to and loved the way any normal girl did. And Ranma knew that Akane still had a part of her that wanted desperately to be just like everyone else. But he was being selfish and spineless and marrying her because he loved her. It wouldn't have been so wrong if she loved him back.

::But she doesn't.:: Ranma reminded himself for about the millionth time since that fateful morning. ::She can't. She probably never will. And honestly, can you blame her?::

Suddenly his eyes looked so sad, and Akane wondered why he turned away from her again.

"Thanks for letting me know. You… you'd better finish getting ready. It's almost 8," Ranma finished lamely, his voice forcibly normal sounding and unsteady.

"Oh, Ok," Akane said, suddenly unsure of everything. "I will." And she left.

Ranma leaned against the door once she had shut it and tried taking deep breaths. They weren't really helping. He tried letting his head fall back against the door instead. That didn't work either.

Rubbing the back of his head absentmindedly, Ranma paced the room.

::Am I really going to go through with this? How can I do this to her? But if I say I can't marry her, she'll think it's because I don't want to, but I do and god damnit! why does everything in my life have to be so screwed up?!::

Not finding any answers from pacing, Ranma sat dejectedly down on the chair and leaned his elbows on the table before him, running his hands through his hair.

::What am I supposed to do now?::

*           *           *

Ranma didn't have a whole lot of time to think about that.

As he had told Akane before, it was almost 8. The ceremony was scheduled to begin then.

The time between the house and the small room their parents had rented at the last minute was a blur. All Ranma knew was one minute he was sitting in his room, trying not to think about what was only 7 minutes away, and the next there he was, standing at one end of a makeshift aisle uneasily shifting from one foot to the other, driving his mother slowly insane, feeling rather out of place.

Only Soun, Genma, Nodoka, Kasumi, Nabiki and a short little priest were there. Ranma was nervous as hell, not only because of the usual reasons for a groom, but because he still hadn't had time to decide what he was going to do. There wasn't a whole lot he could do. He was running out of time.

Some music started up, and Ranma stiffened.

Scratch that. He was out of time. For one of the very few times in his life, Ranma felt incredibly helpless, standing there, fidgeting, waiting for something he had to find some way to fix before…

Akane walked in then. Almost out of habit, Ranma couldn't think straight as soon as he saw her. She always found a way to do that to him, and he would have been thinking that this was probably the worst possible time for that, but he couldn't think about anything but how beautiful she looked. And he had even seen her once before.

She walked down the aisle, a bouquet of flowers in one arm, her other arm linked with her father's. It seemed she was the one doing most of the supporting, as Soun was nearly going to pieces at her side.

But Ranma wasn't paying attention to that. He could only notice how bright her eyes seemed, shimmering brilliantly in the soft light of the room. Was it because she was trying not to cry, or because she might actually be… happy? Ranma tried to slow his heart down and hoped it was a bit of both.

Ranma couldn't remember much after that either. He couldn't stop looking at her eyes, trying to see how she was feeling. If she was as terrified as he was, if she was sad to be giving in, resigned to something she didn't want, if it was all just a façade and there was no part of her that could maybe care for him… But he was feeling too anxious to tell for sure, and certainly not through a veil. He was really only aware of how tiny her soft hands were in his, and how his wouldn't stop shaking. He wasn't sure what he was saying, he was just repeating what he was told to. But he knew that he wouldn't have said any of it if he hadn't meant it. And that was what scared him the most. He meant every word.

Did Akane mean it too? Or was he just hoping for much more than was reasonable?

He was very aware of what if felt like to slip the ring over her small finger; and what it felt like when she did the same for him. He suddenly realized he never wanted to take it off.

And then all of a sudden he was lifting her veil… She was looking up at him with those eyes that could make his knees weak and they were sparkling with something he couldn't identify. And for one moment he was so sure he could believe in that something… That maybe she could feel the same… His hands were on her shoulders, barely touching her, almost like if he did she would vanish… She was moving upwards a little, leaning close to him and all he wanted was to kiss her and hold her close to him and never let her go… Their faces were so close now and it seemed like everyone was holding their breath, and in that split second as Ranma was about to close his eyes he remembered why his chest felt so tight…

::I can't. I won't do this to her… It isn't fair…::

At the last second he moved his hand to her chin and turned her head to the side, kissing her on the cheek.

Her skin was warm and soft, and she smelled wonderful. Ranma didn't want to pull away but he knew he had to. What he didn't know was how much he had hurt her. He couldn't have known.

Akane closed her eyes and looked away. Ranma let go of her shoulders and the rest after that became another empty, colorful blur.

Inside, Ranma felt about the same.

End Part Two.

I hope it doesn't suck, and that you like it! More to come, I'm writing every spare moment.

Until my next post; next day delivery or sooner, guaranteed!

::Rain

P.S. Contact me at creepyoldmanwink@yahoo.com

I am not a creepy old man. I am a teenage girl. It's a joke with a friend. So there. ^_~