POWER RANGERS VERSUS STREET FIGHTER
A Parody In More Ways Than One
Written by DTM666
DISCLAIMER: The author of this piece would like to state that characters from Power Rangers are properties of Saban Brands, characters from Street Fighter are properties of Capcom, characters from Sonic are properties of Sega, and not that of the author.
Foreward: This is based off a short comic that had been written and drawn in 1997-98. The absurdity and lousiness has been faithfully transcribed... at great expense of the author's mind. So to those who intend to review, yes, I know it's poorly written... that's the point.
Originally posted on on March 4th, 2003
-o-
At the Command Center, three of the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, Rocky the Red Ranger, Billy the Blue Ranger, and Tommy the White Ranger, are getting their debriefing from the almighty floating head, ZORDON!
"Rangers," the wise sage announced with authority, "where are the other Rangers?"
"Aw man, ZORDON!" the White Ranger whined, "Kimberly had another cold, so she's stuck in bed! But Adam and Aisha are missing!"
Billy scratched his head as Alpha went into his usual "Ayaiyai" gimmick. "It could be possible," he thoughtfully declared, "that they were somehow captured by that evil fiend, Lord Zedd."
ZORDON had a grim expression on his face (although considering the distortion of his face, it's hard to tell WHAT expression he has). This is bad, he thought to himself, but at least they're not captured by that baddie, M. Bison!
-o-
In a dark chamber, two giant tubes are found, each one containing somebody floating inside. Within close proximity, it is discovered that these two tubes contain Adam the Black Ranger and Aisha the Yellow Ranger. And the owner of these tubes watches from above... that psychotic Shadowloo mastermind, M. Bison.
Bison laughed his usual psycho laugh, "You two should be happy!" he comforted them, although it didn't do much, "I get your life energies which will recharge me enough to go to McDonalds and grab a Big Mac, and you get to spend the rest of your lives... all of ten minutes, that is... together!"
Suddenly, a red lightning bolt struck the nefarious villain in the chest. Bison did not feel pain, but was annoyed! "WHO DOES THIS TO BISON?" he declared. His answer came in the form of a RADIATOR-FACED fleshman with a "Z" STAFF!
"I am LORD ZEDD!" the fleshman announced, "Emperor of all you see! Those are MY Power Rangers!"
"I'll show you who's boss, Zee!" Bison screamed in mock anger! Zedd was taken aback. "That's ZEDD!" the fleshman informed in a high-pitched tone (not a girly voice, thank you), "NOT..." Zedd suddenly lowered his voice, "at least you didn't call me Ed."
Bison launched his famed Psycho Ball projectile attack (from when he was a bulky overlord from his Street Fighter Alpha days... Master Bison tends to neglect these things) at Lord Zedd, who diligently blocked the project with his staff. Zedd felt a sting on his spine and turned to see a guy in a white karate gi and red headband. The guy was pelting him with blue stuff and Zedd is taken aback!
"RYU!" Bison said happily, "I KNEW YOU WOULD STAND BY MY SIDE!"
Ryu shook his head confusedly, "SIDE?" he cried with ferocity, "I'm not on your side. I'm here to save those kids in the STUPID COSTUMES!"
Bison had a blank look on his face... "Kids?" he whispered, "I'M SUCKING THE LIFE ENERGY OUT OF KIDS? NO WONDER THIS ENTIRE PROCESS TOOK NINE DAYS! KIDS ARE USELESS TO MY LIFE SUCKING TUBES!"
Zedd laughed a mighty laugh and fired another bolt of lightning at Bison! Bison went for a Scissors Kick that knocked the fleshman down! Ryu saw this as an oppurtunity and hurricane kicked both tubes. The kicks caused them to shatter the tubes, this freeing the POWER RANGERS from their prisons.
"Thanks," Adam said with a depressing voice, "now we can get the other POWER RANGERS."
Ryu sighed... You mean there's MORE of these STUPID COSTUMES? he thought to himself.
-o-
In a dark alley, two Putty Patrollers, creatures made of clay, surround a peculiar man in a pink karate gi. The man was mocking them with their somewhat disoriented stance.
"You crappy things!" the peculiar man announced with a high-pitch girly voice, "You do NOT stand a chance against the self-trained might of the mighty DAN HIBIKI!"
One Putty scratched his head and his partner shook his head. Looking at each other and getting the same idea, the two jumped Dan Hibiki and they both fought... Two seconds later, the two Putties walk away laughing, while the "great" Dan Hibiki is found in a pool of his own... ketchup.
"Argh!" he grimaced in pain, "I can't F believe that two rent-a-henchmen beat my bum!"
-o-
An odd egg-shaped man plots in his typical mad scientist lab!
"When I finish my LATEST device," the eggman said, "the world shalt fear the name of DOCTOR IVO ROBOTNIK!"
Suddenly, a blue blur passed through and there stood Sega's perennial mascot, SONIC THE HEDGEHOG!
"Yo, Eggman!" he said with a cheery voice, "You're not even supposed to be in this comic!" On that note, the hedgehog disappeared!
Robotnik's ears now fumed with smoke. "Grrrr! I'll be back!"
-o-
The five Power Rangers are now fighting Bison. Each one had just finished doing their signature pre-fight poses and chanted in unison "POWER RANGERS!"
Bison scratched his head for a bit, "Why do you guys pose? JUST FIGHT ME!"
Each Ranger jumped in and used their fighting skills to... get beaten by Bison. The White Ranger, being the wuss that he is, fights when his buddies are down. He manages two successful blows onto Bison's face. Then he jumps up and down and raises his hands in victory!
"YES!" the White Ranger praised, "GOOD ALWAYS TRIUMPHS OVER EVIL!"
Bison smirked an evil smirk! He then flung himself in a torpedo position, emitting flames he has passes through. He had hit White Ranger forcibly enough that White Ranger is now engulfed in FLAMES, making him the latest victim of Bison's feared PSYCHO CRUSHER!
-o-
Meanwhile, Ryu pelts some more Hadouken fireballs at Lord Zedd while he expertly dodges various lightning bolts. Suddenly, from out of nowhere, a guy with WEIRD BLOND HAIR and green shirt shows up and sweeps the fleshman off his feet and on his rear...
"GUILE?" the Japanese man said in shock, "What are YOU doing here?"
Guile shrugged his shoulders, "It's been a long time since my LAST video game!" he explained, "I got sick and tired of Charlie stealing my moves, so I decided to jump out of retirement!"
"But Guile," Lord Zedd pointed out, "your crappy moveset has been OUTDATED since 1994!"
"Well, Letter Zedd," Guile rebutted, "we can't all be Canadian!"
Guile and Ryu pelted Zedd with Sonic Booms and Hadouken fireballs and the fleshman did the traditional "blow up into many little pieces" gimmick. They courteously sat on a nearby bench and watched as the Power Rangers fought Bison... boy, they are sure getting their bums handed to them!
Ryu turned to Guile, "Think we should help them?"
"Nah," Guile moaned, "They're OK!"
-o-
Bison stood over the beaten Power Rangers laughing. Suddenly a pink BLUR bounces off him and he is down on his hands and feet too. The Rangers recover and are SHOCKED as to the cause of the BLUR!
The White Ranger cried, "Kimberly? What are you doing here? I thought you were sick."
"I'm not Kimberly!" the Pink Ranger confessed, "I'm her stunt double!"
"Aw man!" the White Ranger whined again.
The Power Rangers come together to form their dragon-shaped Power Cannon. Bison attempts a last-ditch effort by engulfing himself in flames; preparing for another Psycho Crusher attack! However, the Rangers fire a giant fireball, which hits Bison on the head and thus vaporizing him!
"Alright!" the Rangers cheered in unison! White Ranger continues to whine...
-o-
Ryu looks on ahead to see Guile fly off in her perty aeroplane. He is greeted by the POWER RANGERS. Blue Ranger extends his hand and Ryu accepts it.
"Thanks for your help," Blue Ranger said cheerily, "We couldn't have done this without you."
Ryu looked confusedly at the Blue Ranger, shrugged, and walked off, prompting White Ranger to whine "Hey, where are you going?"
Ryu spoke in an ominously ominous voice, "To find another challenge in this world." Then he whispered to himself, "Then I'm looking for Cyclops! He owes me five bucks!"
THE END! Oh wait there's one more bit...
-o-
White Ranger walks into the author's office with a determined look on his face. He slams his fist onto the author's desk and says in a high-pitched voice, "Where's my money?"
"Sorry," the author shrugged, "you don't get paid for this."
White Ranger promptly cried out of the office as the author sighed and ended this travesty of a production...
THE END! And this time I mean it...