Let her Cry

Right! Having finished 'Boyfriend Material'   I thought I'd start a new fic to distract myself from writing 'Tears' This one is quite depressing so if you are suicidal you might want to go and read something a little more cheerful because I don't want to be responsible for any jumps off any buildings J

Disclaimer: I don't own Friends or the song 'Let her cry' (Hootie and the Blowfish) which (as you can see) I have stolen to be the title of my fic.

Authors note: Okay here's the deal. Something (it will be revealed later) caused a big upset in the group around a year after Mon and Chan got married. Monica was so upset that she disappeared. The gang believed she had committed suicide, until now….

Chicago 2005 (Chandler is there on a business trip)

 Chandler nudged his way through the crowd, trying to get to the bar for a much needed drink. People pushed and jostled around him, they were packed tightly against his body, their loud voices surrounding him. With a dull sense of recognition he began to felt a familiar pain rising in his chest. Trying to swallow it down Chandler turned around and fought to escape both the crowd and his panic attack. The room swirled and the darkness began to seep into his mind. As he fell to the floor the last thing he saw, as usual, was an imprinted memory of Monica's  face.

The first thing Chandler felt as he opened his eyes was the familiar sense of heartache. As a crowd of strange faces came into focus, his heart broke, like it did every morning, at the realisation that his darling Monica was never coming back. Groggily he scrambled to his feet, voices all around him echoed their concern in his ears but he didn't care, all he wanted to do was to go outside and let the fresh air brush against his cheeks as he cried the pain away.

Stumbling, he found the door and pushed it open. Rain lashed down on his head, mixing with the tears that were already falling. With his chest heaving, he leant on a nearby wall for support. Chandler stared into the distance not seeing a thing and wondered how it had got this bad. How could his happy life have turned so sour? He knew the answer, Monica. It was her fault that he could no longer go out in public without making a fool of himself, it was her fault he was a broken man. And yet he still loved her with all his heart.

As the rain soaked through his jacked and ran in rivulets down his body Chandler began to focus on his surroundings. One grubby wall faded into another, the light of a solitary lamppost glowing eerily of the brick façade. Standing beneath the cold glow of the lamppost was a forlorn figure. A lonely silhouette, waiting for nothing.

Chandler smiled to himself ruefully and hailed a waiting cab.  Shutting the door quietly he told the driver the address of his hotel and looked out blankly though the sheets of rain . As they passed the lamppost, fate drew Chandler's eye's upwards.  What he saw before him was both his worst nightmare and best dream, the lonely figure was someone he knew, the lonely figure was Monica.

Chandler just sat and gaped, time seemed to freeze as the cab passed her by, she didn't even glance up. Only a pane of glass separated them but Chandler couldn't break the barrier of his own pain. He watched her face, beautiful in her heartache, as it faded away to be stored in his memory as a dream of a ghost.

With tears stinging his eyes Chandler reached in his pocket for the note he always carried with him, the note he had believed was her suicide note:

Dear Friends,

I'm so sorry. Sorry for what I've done and sorry for what I'm about to do. I love you all so much. It is that love which makes this both easier and harder than anything I've ever had to do. I hope and pray that, with time, the wounds I have caused will heal. Goodbye forever.

Love to you all

Monica

Chandler I love you more than I've ever loved anyone one else, don't blame yourself for my decision. I hope you will find some one who deserves you.

My heart and soul belong to you

xxx Mon

He had read the words a million times but they still cut like a knife straight to his heart. It was at that moment he realised his final chance was slipping away forever. Yelling at the driver to stop he practically fell out of the cab into the darkness.

" Monica…" he screamed, focusing on the angel bathed in light, praying that her blue eyes would recognise his.

TBC

What do you think? Should I continue depressing you all or should I not bother? Please give me feedback by clicking the little review button below.