Disclaimer: I don't own a darned thing. Joss Whedon owns the characters, the situations, and just about everything except my fervent desire for romantic mush, which I have applied in healthy dollops.
Author's note: I like Willow, I like Tara, I like Oz, and I can't stand sad, angsty things. So as soon as I saw "New Moon Rising," I said to myself, "Hmm…how can I make everyone concerned happy?" This is what I came up with. It's my first real romantic piece, and I've revised the living crap out of it, but I have no experience with writing this kind of stuff, so any constructive criticism would be enormously appreciated.
TWOS AND THREES
He studiously ran a finger over the door of the van, checking for any minute flaw in it, something he had to have fixed. He sighed. It was no use. He kept the thing in such good shape, it never broke down when he needed it to.
"Oz…" he heard a voice say from behind him. Oz turned around to look at her…his Willow. She was the whole reason he was here—the sweet, smart, redheaded girl who had had no objections to dating a werewolf, who had charmed and fascinated Oz since the first time he'd seen her. And, he forced himself to admit, Tara's girlfriend. Not his. Tara's.
Willow, who had noticed him staring, closed her mouth and gave him a tight, sad little smile. She sighed and tried again. "Are--are you leaving again?" Her voice broke on the word again, and Oz remembered the day he'd left the first time. He hadn't wanted to make her cry, he'd just needed to get away for a while—but when she'd started crying, he had almost turned around and gone back.
"I…" He looked at the ground and shrugged a shoulder in an unconvincing imitation of nonchalance. "I don't know. I scared the crap out of Tara back there."
She tried to smile, but the expression wouldn't stay on her face. "Yeah." She sniffled and said, "I love her, Oz." As he let out a breath slowly, she added. "But I still love you. As much as I ever did."
"Well, that's, um, kind of problematic," Oz said, meeting her eyes.
"Yeah." This time, Willow was the one to look at the ground.
They stood in silence for a drawn-out, uncomfortable moment, and then Oz asked, frustration in his voice, "What do you want me to do, Willow?"
She swallowed a lump in her throat. "I don't know! I don't know what I'm supposed to say!"
Oz shrugged. "You don't have to say anything. Maybe…" He had wanted to say that maybe he could stay. Maybe she didn't have to make up her mind right now, and maybe if he gave her time, she'd choose to let him be her boyfriend again. But then, he thought, what if she didn't choose him? What if she chose Tara, with her blonde hair and her shy eyes and her way of talking around a question? He wasn't sure if he'd be able to take that. He couldn't stay in this town, seeing them together every day and knowing his Willow loved someone else more. Your fault, he reminded himself. You cheated on her, killed the cheat-ee in front of her, and left. No wonder she found someone else. "I'm sorry," he said. He hadn't even meant to say it, but it was true. She was the best thing that had ever happened in his life, and he'd taken it for granted that she'd always be there. He should have known she'd move on. "I shouldn't have…it was stupid to think you'd just be waiting."
"I am waiting," Willow said softly, her voice still thick with tears. "You're back, but it's not the same, and I'm sort of waiting to…to be happy again. To make you happy again."
"And Tara?" Oz asked, trying not to sound too jealous-ex-boyfriend.
Willow's eyes drifted off to the left as she smiled sadly. "I think I've really hurt her. I mean, we were happy together, the two of us, and now…" She shook her head. "Everything's all messed up now, Oz."
"Tell me about it," he muttered. This should have been happy. He'd dreamt of her every day since he'd left. They should have been together by now, him still begging for forgiveness and her still a little uncomfortable granting it, but together! She still loved him, she said…but she couldn't be his girlfriend. She was someone else's now. It was miserably ironic, and it made Oz feel the tiniest bit like turning into a werewolf.
Willow looked at him, her eyes anguished, and she bit her lower lip. Oz groaned mentally. He'd never been able to resist her when she did that. For a moment, he just wanted to sweep her into his arms and kiss away the sheen of tears he saw in her eyes. He had a feeling, however, that it would be an inappropriate gesture at this point.
Grunting, he turned around and shoved his duffel bag into the back of the van. He could hear Willow's sharp intake of breath behind him, and he sighed. He couldn't leave, not now. It couldn't possibly end like this again, with Willow behind him crying and him driving off into the sunrise, trying not to look back. He looked over his shoulder at Willow, and couldn't control the mix of love and pain he felt when he saw hope spring suddenly to her face.
He couldn't meet her eyes. "I'll be around," he said, focusing on a point over her shoulder.
"Around? Where around? Because, you know, there's lots of around…" Her characteristic Willow-chatter trailed off in a nervous end, and Oz smiled sadly.
"I don't know. I'll call you," he said. Lowering his eyes, he turned and walked over to the driver's side. Opening the door, he hopped in and turned the ignition. Emotions bubbled fiercely under his skin, but he shoved them down with the meditating techniques that had been helping him control his lycanthropy. He couldn't feel sad, because he was still here and she hadn't told him 'no.' He couldn't feel hope, because it was obviously going to be a close race between him and Tara in Willow's affections. He couldn't even be angry, because there was nobody to be angry with but himself. He'd left the first time, after all.
He just prayed that he wouldn't have to leave again.
****
"The whole thing's just depressing," Buffy said, slamming shut a book and making dust fly all over the small wooden table. "Oz won't talk about it, Willow looks like she's gonna cry every time you say something to her, and Tara…Has anyone even seen Tara?"
Xander coughed and fixed his friend with a dark glare. "Watch it with the dust, there!" He waved his hands, futilely trying to get the dust out of his face, then gave up and waited for it to settle. Sighing, he turned back to Buffy and said, "But you're definitely right. They're in this kind of funky love limbo, and they're just waiting for somebody to sprain something trying to bend backwards and knock the pole over."
"Nice metaphor," Buffy said wryly. "But I think their problem has less to do with bending over backwards and more to do with totally avoiding each other and not talking about anything."
"Or it could be about sex," Anya suggested. Buffy and Xander both turned to give her a curious look. She raised her eyebrows, making her currently-brown hair move forward on her head like some kind of wig. When this failed to produce a response, she sighed the sigh of the long-suffering. "Well, Tara's got the whole lesbian thing going on, which has its appeals, but on the other hand you've got Oz with all the animal instincts and whatnot. If Xander and I didn't get plenty of interesting sex of our own, I'd be having the same dilemma as Willow."
Buffy whistled. "Yeah, okay. Too much information there."
"Second that," Xander said, reddening. "Remember, Anya, with the whole 'not talking about sex in public' thing?"
Anya tossed her head, entirely unconcerned, and said, "Honestly. If you didn't want my input, you shouldn't have said anything about limbo. That's given me entirely new and exciting ideas."
Xander looked slightly sick, but very interested in what Anya had to say— too interested, really. Noticing the way the two of them were staring at each other, Buffy decided that they really didn't need any more sex talk. She was about to change the subject to the demon the three of them were supposed to be researching when she was saved by Giles's entering the room.
"Hello," Giles said, polishing his glasses with his shirt. "I've just called Willow, and I really think one of you ought to talk to her—she's moping around her dorm room in a way that I'm finding wholly depressing. I understand that Tara and Oz are in something of a battle for her affections, but I'm beginning to wish she'd just choose one or the other so our lives can continue in more or less their usual chaos."
"Ooh," Xander said, standing up, "Well-put, G-Man! We were just talking about that. Will's kind of between a rock and a hard place right now."
"To be more accurate," Anya put in, "she's between an old Oz and a new Tara."
"No, An." Xander exhaled loudly, running his fingers through his hair. "It's an expression. What I mean is, if she picks Oz, she hurts Tara; if she picks Tara, she hurts Oz. Any choice she makes, she's gonna end up losing someone. I'm sort of glad I'm not in her shoes right now."
Buffy sighed and fiddled unhappily with her hands. "Yeah, definitely feeling the pain vibes there, but you kind of got to feel for Oz, too. I mean, he comes back, and you know, he's getting more or less green lights from everyone, and then there's this whole Tara thing and he gets captured by the Initiative and now he might have come all this way for nothing."
"And Tara," Giles said, shaking his head. "The poor girl wasn't expecting her new lover to have such…interesting skeletons in the closet, to put it euphemistically. She's waiting, essentially, to find out whether she or Oz matters more to Willow."
Anya looked from face to face, and sniffed. "You people are so melodramatic! Why don't they just form a threesome? No pesky decisions to make, and excellent sex."
Giles replaced his glasses on the end of his nose and rolled his eyes heavenwards. "Oh Lord, why me?" he said, apparently to a crack in his ceiling.
"Eww," Buffy said, having never considered the idea before. "That's…"
Xander jumped in, hoping to head off a discussion about this topic. "You see, An, people don't just…You can't just…It doesn't work like that!" he concluded, unable to find an adequate way to put his knowledge on this subject into words.
"Well, why not?" Anya asked stubbornly. "They're all healthy, virile young people. They shouldn't be moaning about who's better than who, and who loves who more. They should be together having fun instead of ruining our lives with their…" She waved her hand in the air, searching for a human reference. "Soap-opera antics!"
"They're not soap-opera antics," Buffy snapped. "They're legitimate human issues. Obviously nothing you're familiar with."
Xander, who was starting to look alarmed, interrupted. "Guys, guys, no fighting. Fighting is bad. Well, not altogether bad, but definitely bad between you guys. In Giles's living room."
"Yes. As much as it pains me to admit it, Xander has a point," Giles said, quite interested in preserving the relative organization of his living room.
Buffy felt like arguing with this, but after a moment, the desire to bitch-slap Anya passed and she gave Giles an apologetic look. "You're right. No fighting. But no funky sex talk, either," she said, fixing Anya with a glare.
"You know, though, if Willow and Tara and Oz were a threesome, they wouldn't be a funky threesome. They'd be a cute threesome," Xander pronounced. Seeing Buffy's and Giles's shocked expressions, he put his hands over his face and groaned. "Oh, God, tell me that did not just come out of my mouth."
"It did," said Anya, looking quite proud.
"Xander, have you totally lost your sanity?" Buffy asked, incredulous. "Willow and Tara and Oz? Weren't we just talking about how they're all depressing and mopy and stuff because they can't all three be together? Because Willow has to pick one or the other, because having three of them would be all icky and X-rated movie-ish?"
"Well, yeah," Xander said, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. "But, I mean, Anya has a point. Tara's not an unattractive girl, and I'm sure if she and Oz spent any amount of time together, he'd admit that. I'm not sure if Tara swings the other way even a little, but…" He shrugged. "All I'm saying is, Tara could have Willow, Oz could have Willow, Willow could have both of them. No more crying, no more avoiding, and all would be happy in Scooby-land again."
"I must be watching too many lame romantic films. That almost made sense to me," Buffy said, irritated at the part of her consciousness going Awww at the thought of Willow, Tara, and Oz being all cute and threesome-y.
Anya's expression, at this point, had gone from proud at her boyfriend's logic to positively smug at being the first to offer this suggestion. "See?"
"Almost was the key word there," Buffy said, her irritation at Anya returning. "I mean, even if the whole idea didn't give me the wiggins, how would…None of them are talking to each other. I mean, I'm not sure if we could hook Willow up with one of them, much less both of them."
"Heaven help me," Giles muttered to himself. Louder, he said, "I don't want to give you the impression that, even for a moment, I approve of this…three-way matchmaking." Buffy and Xander looked down guiltily, but Anya was looking, as ever, unrepentant and indignant. Giles cleared his throat and continued, his voice nervous. "But, um, I think the first step would be getting past the emotional issues caused by Oz's changing in front of Tara. The fear, the anger, and so forth."
Buffy and Xander perked up considerably at this, and Giles looked as if he entirely regretted giving his sort-of-blessing. "In for a penny, in for a pound," he muttered.
***
Tara didn't want to open the door to her dorm room when she heard the knock. She wanted to spend the rest of the afternoon as she had spent much of the week: crying, writing depressing poetry in her notebook, and plotting elaborate ways to get Willow back. But Tara was not an insensible girl; far from it, in fact. She realized that not answering the door would only increase the surety in her dorm-mates' minds that she had lost it entirely. This being the case, she opened the door.
She just about fainted. It was Willow.
"Hi," Willow said, smiling her nervous smile, the one with just a little bit of tooth showing. Tara loved that smile. It was among Willow's cutest. She was so busy admiring it that her heart almost stopped beating when it dropped from Willow's face. Willow shifted her gaze to her feet and said, more quietly than before, "Can I come in?"
Tara realized she'd been standing there simply staring at her…semi-ex-girlfriend…and she could feel the blood rushing to her face in an almost-painfully warm blush. "Um, yeah. S-sorry." She opened the door more widely and stepped out of the way, gesturing for Willow to come in.
The nervous smile was back. "Okay." Willow stepped in, wrapping her arms around herself as if just being in Tara's room frightened her. She paused awkwardly in the middle of the room.
"You c-can sit on the b-b-bed," Tara said, sitting in her desk chair.
"Okay. Thanks," Willow said, sitting uncomfortably on the bed. "Tara, I just wanted…to talk. You know. About you, and me, and Oz, and us, and I had this all planned out, and it sounded so nice, but now I forgot everything."
"Oh." Tara was torn between laughing at the Willow-babble and crying again at the thought that she'd probably already chosen Oz, and Tara'd never be privy to the best kind of Willow-babble—the happy, girlfriend-girlfriend-completely-in-love-with-each-other kind—again.
"I've missed you." Willow's voice was soft and her eyes were large, and Tara wanted to kiss her really badly. "I had this cool idea for a spell we could do. It would make vampires glow orange—you know, so we could always tell at night who was a vampire and who wasn't? But, uh, then I thought, no way. No way is Tara going to want to do anything with me now."
"No," Tara said, horrified at the thought that she herself had been keeping Willow away. "I'd love to do the spell with you. Even if…" Oz and you end up together. She couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence, so she finished, "No matter what."
Willow looked down and smoothed the bed-covers with her hand. She'd understood what Tara meant, of course. "Tara, I don't know what to do."
Tara swallowed her tears and put on her best brave face. "If you love him, b-be with him. I'll be okay."
"I do love him," Willow said, sighing. "But I love you, too, Tara. I love you so much." Willow looked as if she was about to cry, and Tara thought with a sudden burst of hope that maybe—just maybe—Willow would pick her, and they could be together. She was afraid to say anything, in case she should ruin the moment.
The moment was gone. Willow stood up and fixed Tara with a wistful glance. "Thank you. You've been…so wonderful. I'm really sorry to put you through all this. I just…it's hard, you know? When you love two people, and you have to choose between them."
Tara thought with the tiniest modicum of bitterness that she had never loved two people enough to have to choose between them. For her, it had pretty much been Willow and only Willow recently. But then, if there was somebody else that she somehow managed to love that much, she'd be having a hard time choosing, too—she supposed, anyway. She gave Willow a tiny smile and said, "I can imagine."
Willow's face crumpled, and Tara wondered what she'd said. Willow obviously picked up on this, because she said hurriedly, "No, it's not you! I mean, you didn't do anything!" Willow sniffed, and Tara could see tears filling her eyes. "I gotta go," she said. Wiping a hand across her face, she trudged towards the door.
Tara followed her. "C-call, okay? If you n-need anything." Say you need a shoulder to cry on, someone to kiss your frowny-face away… Tara shoved down those thoughts; there was no point in getting her hopes up. She pasted a smile on her face as Willow nodded and walked slowly away.
***
Oz stood up and started throwing clothes in his bag for the sixth time that day. She doesn't love you. She's with Tara now. It was like a chorus in his head, and somehow, he could still smell that sweater Tara was wearing—Willow's smell and Tara's mixed like it was perfectly natural. Like that was the way it was supposed to be. Like Willow's and Oz's used to mix, his guitar case smelling like her shampoo and her textbooks smelling like his aftershave…
Oz sighed and threw the bag down once again. He couldn't just go off and leave, not without talking to her first. How was he going to talk to her, though, when undoubtedly she was finding comfort in the arms of another girl? God, what a mess.
There was a knock on the hotel room door, and the sudden noise made Oz's head jerk up. He sniffed cautiously, but the moon was starting to wane and he couldn't smell much through the door. Slowly, he made his way over to the door to answer it.
For some incomprehensible reason, it was Xander, looking characteristically sheepish and nervous. Oz could count on one hand the number of times Xander had sought him out, and it was curiosity more than anything else that made him step aside to let the other man in.
"Oz, hey," Xander greeted, waving a hand stiffly. "I, uh, I just wanted to see how you were doing."
"As well as could be expected, I guess," Oz answered, trying
to appear calm and unruffled. Either he was getting better at this meditation
stuff or Xander was so used to Oz being stoic that he
couldn't tell when the opposite was true, because Xander
didn't seem to be picking up on any of the emotions his sudden appearance was
stirring up. The first time he'd lost Willow,
Xander had seemed to be everywhere, like a
badly-dressed slap in the face every time he turned around. He knew now, with
two years behind him, that Xander hadn't been trying
to rub anything in—in fact, he'd seemed as eager to forget about the whole
"fluke" as Oz—but quick and unexpected anger made Oz's throat tighten. His
voice was clipped as he asked, "What's up?"
Xander shifted uncomfortably. "Well, um, have you and Willow and Tara talked? Because, you know, the three of you ought to work something out."
Oz gave Xander an incredulous expression. What on Earth? Xander's giving Willow and me love advice now? "No, we haven't. Willow probably doesn't want to talk right now and Tara…I feel kind of weird talking to her. I mean, I did wolf out right in front of her. That's pretty freaksome. I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't want to talk to me."
"Maybe you oughta apologize or something," Xander offered. "'Cause I think maybe you're making all this harder than it has to be. If you and Tara could talk, kind of clear the air between you guys, maybe you could get Willow and the three of you could come to some kind of agreement."
"And what kind of agreement would that be?" Oz said, beginning to get irritated.
"I don't know!" Xander said, throwing up a hand in defense and looking more anxious than ever. "But this hanging out in your room and totally avoiding both Tara and Willow? Not a good thing! Nothing good can come from it!" He took a deep breath, and met Oz's eyes. "Your problems are still gonna be here when you come out. You don't want to talk to Tara, that's okay, I guess, but you better talk to somebody, or else you, Will, and Tara are going to spend the rest of your lives being completely miserable."
Somewhat surprised at this burst of un-jealous, reasonably coherent logic from Xander, Oz nodded. "Yeah. You've got a point."
"I do?" Xander asked, looking surprised and pleased. "Ooh! I have a point!" Containing himself, he stuck a hand in his pocket and started rummaging around. "Yeah, okay. Well, think about it. I got the number to Tara's dorm room, so--" Pulling out a wrinkled slip of paper, he handed it to Oz. "Okay. So, uh, I guess I'll see you around?"
"I guess," Oz said, taking the paper. Xander slipped out of the door, looking happy. Oz stood in the middle of his room and looked at the paper. Truth be told, he didn't know what he could accomplish by talking to Tara. Oz understood the situation they were in just fine, and he was reasonably sure that Tara did, too. But then, he thought uncomfortably, he still owed her an apology. He hadn't meant to get so angry, and he sure as hell hadn't meant to wolf out in front of her. He could have killed her! Thinking back on it, apologies really were in order.
Frowning at the slip of paper in his hand, Oz walked over to the phone. It might take him a couple of tries, but he'd do it. He'd talk to Tara.
***
"Hey, Tara."
Tara clutched her books tightly to her chest and looked over her shoulder to see who had been talking to her. Much to her surprise, it was Buffy. "Hi, B-Buffy," she said, trying to sound nonchalant.
Buffy quickened her pace and caught up to Tara. "How're you holding up?"
Tara was tickled pink at her asking, but also somewhat shocked. She and Buffy had never really talked or bonded or anything before, which made Buffy's coming up to her like this kind of strange. But also really nice. "I'm okay."
Buffy smiled and nodded. "That's good. Have you talked to Willow or Oz or anything?"
The tickled feeling drained out of Tara's consciousness to be replaced with the cold numbness that came whenever the words 'Willow' and 'Oz' were mentioned in the same sentence. "No," she said simply, instantly feeling as if she had been too brusque.
"I figured that was the case," Buffy said. She didn't look offended. Instead, she looked thoughtful and kind of jumpy. Tara couldn't help but think something was up. "Listen," Buffy continued, "I know that he's probably the last person on the face of the earth you want to hang out with now, but Oz kind of wants to talk to you. He feels really bad about wolfing out in front of you, and I think he wants to apologize."
"He doesn't have to do that," Tara said, inwardly shuddering. Admittedly, Oz turning into a wolf in front of her hadn't been as scary as those creepy gentlemen who'd stolen her voice on the night she'd met Willow, but it was up there on the 'Scariest things Tara's ever seen' list. From what Willow'd said, Tara had been given to understand that Oz's lycanthropy only came into play on nights with full moons, but it had been broad daylight outside when he'd wolfed out.
Buffy could obviously see the unhappy mix of fear and sadness on Tara's face, and she winced. "Sorry. I probably shouldn't have brought that up. If you don't want to talk to Oz, you sure don't have to. God knows I wouldn't, in your shoes. But, you know, Oz is a really nice guy. It's probably really freaking him out that he could have hurt you. I really think you two ought to settle all your issues, or something."
Tara thought somewhat sourly that the whole werewolf thing was the least of the issues between her and Oz. Still, talking about those issues wasn't the worst idea in the world, either. Really, anything would be better than the state of misery in which Tara had spent the last couple of weeks. Giving Buffy a tight smile, she nodded. "Okay."
Buffy smiled dazzlingly. "Awesome. I'll tell Oz you said so." The smile was quickly replaced by a grimace as she looked at her watch. "Crap. I've got a test in American Lit. I guess I'll see you around."
"Uh, yeah. Bye," Tara said as Buffy rushed by. Huh. That was unusual. Tara wondered for a moment if something had happened between Willow and Oz. Thinking about it made her dizzy and kind of sick, though, so she shoved the thought down. Sighing, she shuffled her textbooks around in her arms and resumed walking to class.
***
Willow started as the door to the magic shop shut behind her. The clerk at the checkout counter gave her a reassuring smile, and she tremulously returned it. She'd been feeling lonely that afternoon and had decided to revisit some of her old haunts, putting back together some semblance of her normal life.
It really wasn't working, though. The smell of incense burning reminded her of Tara's room, and the music piping softly from the stereo behind the counter sounded like something Oz would like. Drawing herself up to her full height, she tried to brush thoughts of her sort-of-ex-boyfriend and her semi-ex-girlfriend out of her mind. Stop it, she scolded herself. Today's Willow day. Time to do happy Willowy stuff.
She wasn't trying to forget about Tara and Oz, not really. She was just trying to forget how Oz hadn't even called her to tell her where he was staying, and how she couldn't meet Tara's eyes without seeing the pain in there that Willow'd brought on. She was tired of being lonely and unhappy, and all she wanted was to go one day without thinking of Tara and Oz in a messy, complicated, love triangle way.
She sighed and was about to examine the selection of charms in the window display when she spied a truly terrifying sight—that of Anya walking quickly and purposefully towards the shop. Willow tried to look as small and invisible as possible as Anya stormed in, causing the door to bounce against the wall with a loud bang. "Willow! I've been looking all over for you," she said, causing Willow to shrink into herself even farther.
"Oh, really?" Willow said nervously. "'Cause, I just walked in, and I was at my dorm before that, so you could have called or something."
Anya dismissed this with a wave of one hand. "Whatever. You're here now. I was just thinking about sex, and I wanted your advice."
"My advice? About sex?" Willow asked uncertainly. Really, Anya wasn't the sort of person who needed advice about sex, and certainly not from Willow. Perhaps it was some kind of horrible joke.
"Do you think Xander would be averse to having sex with me and a hired escort of some sort?" Anya asked, looking perfectly sincere. Before Willow could answer (Yes! Really, really averse!), Anya cut her off. "I've heard that people have certain inhibitions about this sort of thing, but I really can't understand why. When you've got one very sexually apt person on one side and another on your other side, you can have all sorts of fun!"
Oh! Oh! Willow really did not want to talk about this! "Um…I'm not really experienced with that sort of thing. Did you want me to…ask Xander about it, or something?" Not that I ever would in a million years, she thought, somewhere between hysterical giggling and horror.
"No, I can do that. I was just thinking, perhaps you and Oz and Tara could all have sex together, and then you could help me recommend it to Xander. Not sex with Oz and Tara, mind you, just three-person relationships in general. I think he would be more attentive if it came from you."
Anya seemed completely unaware of the mortification she was causing Willow, but the shopkeeper noticed her furious blush and asked, "Are you all right over there? Can I help you with something?"
Willow shook her head frantically. "No, that's okay! We don't need any help here! Just having a conversation!" Grasping an arm, she hauled Anya out of the store into the bright sunlight. "What are you talking about?" she hissed, trying to speak quietly enough to avoid any curious bystander's attention.
"You and Tara and Oz—since you already have this sexual tension between the three of you, I thought you all ought to get together and have sex," Anya said matter-of-factly. "I really think you could have a good time. I know from experience that those werewolves can be a real hoot in bed, what with the teeth and the howling and whatnot, and Tara looks very repressed." She bent over and whispered confidentially to Willow, "Repressed people are always eager to have a little fun."
"Anya!" Willow said, completely shocked. Here she was, agonizing over how she didn't know whether Oz was staying or how to decide whether she liked girls or boys, and Anya just totally ignored all that and went straight for the kinky sex talk. "I don't…"
"See, then, after you'd spent a couple of nights together, you could talk to Xander and tell him how much fun you had, and maybe give him a couple of suggestions, and then Xander and I and some third party could have some sort of affair." Anya said, entirely ignoring Willow's feeble attempts at protest.
Willow was starting to feel lightheaded at this point. "Anya, I...I really think this is something you ought to talk to Xander about."
Anya frowned. "Perhaps you're right. Thank you for listening, Willow, even though you weren't especially helpful." Waving distractedly, Anya walked off in the general direction of Xander's house, leaving Willow feeling confused and sort of empty. Man, she wished Anya hadn't kept talking about her and Oz and Tara. She thought, somewhat wistfully, that it would really be nice if their problems could be settled as easily as that.
Sniffing, she stifled thoughts of Oz and Tara and went back to wondering about Anya. Why in the world would Anya come to her for advice on whether or not Xander would enjoy a threesome? Did Xander know about this? She shook her head, completely confused, and started heading back to the campus. She really needed to talk to Buffy, or Xander, or really anyone who wasn't Anya.
***
Oz stuck his hands in his pockets and tried not to look too awkward. He'd called Tara last night. They were meeting at a little café for drinks and maybe snacks, and Oz had the uncomfortable sensation of sticking out. Somewhat angry, he leaned against the restaurant's walls. He'd lived in Sunnydale his whole life; there was no reason he should feel like a stranger!
"Hi, Oz." Oz looked up at Tara, who had walked up some time during his little mental pep talk. She was smiling, sort of, but she looked rather nervous, and Oz could smell her anxiety and discomfort through her clothes.
"Hi," he said, offering a hand. She took it, shaking it gently. Her hands were soft and smooth and smelled sort of herby and flowery. Probably hand lotion, Oz thought to himself, then wondering if it was nerves making him think about inane things like her hand lotion. "Do you want go find a table?"
She seemed to think about it for a moment, and then she nodded. "Okay."
The two of them walked into the restaurant together. It probably looked like a date to the other customers, Oz thought unhappily as he pulled out a chair for Tara. She muttered something that could have been a "thank you" but was too quiet to be entirely coherent and sat down.
A perky-looking waitress walked up and said, "Hi! How are you today?" Oz smiled slightly; generally, that would be a question, but from her intonation, it sounded more as if she was just inserting it as a conversation filler. Without waiting for an answer, she asked, "Can I get you something to drink?"
"I'd like an iced tea," Tara said quietly, weaving her fingers around each other.
Oz shrugged. He wasn't feeling very thirsty. "Ditto," he said. He gave the waitress a polite smile as he gathered his and Tara's menus and handed them to her.
"Gotcha! I'll be right back!" With that, the waitress scurried off to the next table, eager to spread the joy. Oz felt amused as he watched her for a moment, but the amusement abruptly vanished when Tara cleared her throat.
"So, um, why did you want to talk to m-me?" Tara's eyes were focused on a point on the floor somewhere, and Oz felt unexpectedly unhappy at the thought that she still couldn't make herself look at him.
Oz straightened up in his seat. "Well, um…" This seemed like a much better idea back in my hotel room. "I really wanted to apologize. I seriously didn't mean to lose my temper like that. I should have known better than to let myself get so upset, especially on a full-moon day. I reacted really badly, and I'm sorry if I scared you. I'm also really sorry for putting your life in danger like that. I mean, if the soldier guys hadn't come in just then, I could have killed you. But, uh…" He suddenly remembered that he was supposed to be apologizing, not making it worse by going on a major guilt trip. "Anyway, I'm sorry."
Tara said something so quietly that Oz couldn't hear her. "Repeat that, please?" he said, hoping she wasn't still afraid of him.
She shifted her gaze to meet Oz's, and he was startled by the sudden intensity of her eyes. Sheesh. He hadn't noticed that, earlier. "It's okay," she said, still quiet but more sure than Oz had heard her yet. "I…I've thought about it, and I can see how it would have made you mad. Me with Willow's smell, I mean. 'Cause, uh, from what I understand, lycanthropy is a pretty p-powerful influence on people's behavior even when they're in their human form, so, maybe, with the full moon and all, the wolf coming out was sort of natural."
Oz raised his eyebrows. "You've got an interesting view of 'natural.'" He surreptitiously sniffed the air around Tara. There was less fear there now. Definitely a good thing. "You seem to know a bit about werewolves yourself," he observed.
Tara nodded, happy to have found a subject they could discuss with academic objectivity. "I've always been really into magic and the occult and stuff, so I take classes about it in college. I wrote my term paper in 'Mythical beasts and their cultural connections' on werewolves."
He and Willow had done a lot of research on werewolves back in high school, but they hadn't considered much of it "fun." Still, it was kind of cool that the werewolf thing didn't bother her so much. He wondered how Willow had explained his situation to Tara. "That's cool," he said.
"Yeah, um, thanks," she said, her eyes moving down to the table. Oz was suddenly reminded of Willow, two or three years ago, when she'd been so shy she could barely make it through a conversation with him. Getting her to trust herself and to trust that he really liked her had been a slow but very rewarding process.
"How…" Oz found himself asking, "How did you and Willow meet?"
Tara didn't look up, but a tiny smile pulled at her lips, and Oz was pleasantly unsurprised to note that it warmed her whole face. "W-we both do…Wicca stuff. We really m-met when these evil guys in suits tried to cut my heart out, and W-Willow and I used our magic to block the door with a soda machine."
Oz blinked. He hadn't expected that, and he wasn't quite sure what to make of it. "Huh."
Tara giggled softly, and Oz wondered if everything she did was as soft and sweet as her laughter. The giggling faded after a moment, to be replaced with the nervousness she'd displayed since Oz had met her. He looked quizzically at her, and she graced him with a tremulous smile. "Willow and her friends talked a lot about you," she explained. "They always said you made Yoda l-look like a screaming little kid, you were so stoic, and I didn't really b-believe them."
"Ah," Oz said. The stoicism. It either irritated or amused just about everyone he'd ever met. "Well. It's a useful trait to have." Especially for a werewolf. Oz's mood of levity wilted as he recalled being somewhat less than stoic when he'd grabbed Tara at the college.
Tara nodded, looking more serious, and said, "Yes, I c-could see that. Do you usually change in the daytime?"
"No," Oz said, shaking his head slowly. "I thought I had it under control, what with the meditating and the herbs and the charms and all."
Tara frowned; she was either curious or concerned, Oz was having trouble telling. "Herbs? What kind of herbs? What do they do?"
Oz shrugged, realizing he didn't actually know all that much about the herbs he took every month. "Uh, parsley, mint, some other stuff. It's mostly to help me relax, I think. They don't do anything about the transformations; the charms do that."
"Have you t-tried wolfsbane?" Tara asked, looking like she knew what she was talking about.
"No." Oz frowned. 'Wolfsbane' didn't sound like something a werewolf ought to be consuming.
"It…" Tara stopped, looking unsure, and Oz gestured for her to continue. "I've never tried it, or anything, but it's s-supposed to weaken the power of the wolf. I don't think it stops the transformations, but it might make them less likely to happen when you get mad or something."
That sounded pretty good. "Cool. Do you know where I could get some?"
Tara blushed, her expression happy and bashful. "Sure. I've g-got some. It's used in spells sometimes, so I keep it around."
"Awesome. Thanks." They smiled at each other for a moment, and then Oz said hesitantly, "Were you and Willow…close, you know, that way?"
Tara went from happy and relaxed to trying to melt into the chair. "Um, not really, but sort of. I mean, we kissed and stuff. We never went, um, that far, but…" A pained expression crossed over Tara's face, and Oz felt incredibly sympathetic. "I really love her, you know? She makes me feel so good about myself, and she's so smart, and so sweet."
Isn't she, though? Oz mentally drifted back to the day they'd officially gotten together, werewolf and girlfriend. It had been totally incomprehensible to him that a girl would voluntarily go out with someone who was, technically, a monster, but Willow hadn't seemed that bothered by it. After totally rocking his world by telling him she still wanted to be with him, she'd come up to him and kissed him. God, what a kiss! Oz took a deep breath and forced himself to pay attention to Tara. It wouldn't help to dwell on what he no longer had.
He was surprised to see that Tara was smiling sadly at him, somehow looking incomprehensibly wise. He tried to smile back at her, but it was a wasted effort. "Yeah," he said softly, "Will's one of a kind." Oz frowned at her for a minute, suddenly seeing something he hadn't before. "You're a lot like her, you know."
Tara, whose blush had faded somewhere over the course of the last couple of minutes, reddened again. "No, I'm n-not," she said, her shyness back in full force.
Oz nodded. Now that he'd seen it, it was hard to believe he'd ever missed it. "Yeah, you totally are. Back when we were in high school, Willow was so shy we couldn't even talk for more than a couple of minutes. We'd get to a part where we were like, 'I like you.' 'I like you back,' and Will would get so nervous she'd run off to the computer lab." Noticing how embarrassed Tara was getting, he hastened to add, "But it never stopped her from doing some pretty amazing stuff. She was really smart—I don't have to tell you that!—and she knew all this stuff about magic and monsters. On our first date, we drove Xander and his girlfriend Cordelia over to a military base so they could steal a rocket launcher."
Oz smiled as he noticed that Tara's eyes had widened and her mouth was forming a shocked little circle. She inhaled sharply and said, "A rocket l-launcher?"
He laughed, shaking his head. "You'd better believe it! But," he said, sobering up, "I can totally see how you two would have hooked up. You've both got the whole shy, brave, smart thing going on. Plus, the witchcraft."
"Thanks, Oz," Tara said, and Oz kind of liked how his name sounded when she said it. She reminded him so strongly of Willow a couple of years ago, but she was a little more grounded, a little more down-to-earth than Willow had been. Oz thought for a moment that it wasn't fair. Why should Willow and Tara get each other, and he get neither of them?
Whoa, where did that come from? Oz sniffed tentatively to see if maybe Tara was wearing something of Willow's again, but her odor was 100% Tara. Okay, so Willow-smell was out. What, then, had brought on that wave of…well, lust wasn't really the right word. It was more like just suddenly wanting to kiss Tara, or ask her what kind of music she liked, or brush back that loose strand of honey-blonde hair that seemed to be tickling her nose.
Oz had a strong urge to scrub his brain clean with heavy industrial soap. Argh! This was not happening! He was not having romantic feelings about his ex-girlfriend's lesbian lover, who he'd only really talked to this once!
Tara was obviously starting to pick up on Oz's disgust and exasperation with himself, and she asked, "Oz, are you okay?"
Oz forced a small smile onto his face and nodded slowly. "Yeah, I'm cool." He brushed his eyes over his watch, not even really looking at it, and sighed. "Tara, I've gotta go." He couldn't hang around all day having weird lusty emotions about his girlfriend's girlfriend. He made a mental note to himself to go home and call Willow.
Was it his imagination, or did Tara look…disappointed? She nodded, and said, "O-okay. I have a t-test to study for, so, um, I should probably get to the library."
"Sounds like a good idea." He drained the last of the iced tea from his cup, grateful for the cool sensations it sent through him. "I'm not too hungry, anyway. I guess it's just as well the waitress never came back to take our actual orders."
Tara smiled hesitantly, and Oz forced himself to look away. This was totally wrong. Standing up, he gave Tara a shrug and put a five-dollar bill on the table. "I guess I'll see you around."
"I'd like that," Tara said, and Oz felt irrationally happy that he might get the opportunity to talk with her again. The happiness faded as he walked out into the sunlight and realized what had just happened. What the hell? I have a crush on Willow's girlfriend! He frowned and quickened his pace. What was happening? Had he just gotten so lonely from lack of Willow that any girl would get his juices going? No, he thought. That couldn't be it. He'd never been the type to fall for just any girl. Willow had really been the only major love in his life, if you didn't count Veruca, which Oz didn't. Veruca was all about the moon and animal instincts and making Oz angry. She didn't dance with him, or make him feel like a prince every time she smiled at him, or stutter when she got nervous—oh, wait, that was Tara. Willow babbled.
Oz groaned, almost running now towards the hotel. Everything had just gotten more complicated. Great.
***
Well, that was interesting, Tara thought, trying to work out what fifteen percent of a buck fifty was, then realizing it didn't matter because Oz had already paid for them both.
Tara wasn't sure what she'd expected out of the conversation, but it certainly hadn't been this. The last time she and Oz had been in the same room, he'd been tense, anger tightening his voice after only a minute of conversation. The Oz she'd talked to this afternoon had been pretty tense, yeah, but he'd also been really cool. Tara felt a residual blush of pleasure burn her cheeks as she recalled him saying she was brave and smart. He'd made her feel—well, not loved like Willow did, but liked. And accepted. She'd felt so awkward recently around Buffy and Xander and Giles and even Willow, that it had been wonderful to talk to someone who made her comfortable, even if it was only for half an hour. And he was kind of cute—he had red hair like Willow's and a muscular, if small and sort of skinny, body.
Tara frowned, wondering if she was actually thinking what she was afraid she was thinking. It had been pretty much exclusively girls in Tara's life up until this point. Willow'd been her only actual girlfriend, but her few crushes before had been all female. She'd never felt like that about a guy, and she wasn't sure if she felt like that about Oz. Would she even be able to tell if she did? Well, obviously not, or I wouldn't be having this lame conversation with myself, Tara thought wryly.
Tara gathered her purse and walked out of the café, feeling confused but somehow intensely focused. She imagined kissing Willow for a moment, and sighed happily. Okay, still like girls. But then…kissing Oz wouldn't be that bad, either. Ohhh, she thought anxiously, now I know how poor Willow feels!
****
Willow was pissed. It had taken her the whole afternoon and part of the evening to get a hold of Xander; he was a slippery little weasel when he wanted to be. She'd finally found him and was asking him about the strange incident with Anya, but he kept ducking her questions. He wouldn't even tell her if he'd known Anya was planning to approach her in the Magic Store about her weird sex ideas. Xander had been her best friend since they were little kids, and she loved him like a brother, but if he didn't start explaining the whole threesome thing to her, she was seriously considering kicking his ass.
"Are you guys actually doing a threesome?" Willow asked, her anger-flushed face inches from Xander's.
"Um, no, don't think so," he replied, and Willow was relieved to note that he looked somewhat disturbed by the idea.
"Why was Anya asking about it, then? More importantly, why was she asking me about it? She basically asked me to have a one-night-stand with Tara and Oz so I could help her convince you to do it with her and someone else. Why would she ask me something like that?" Willow gave him her best intimidating glare, which really hadn't been as effective since their discovery of vampires in high school.
Xander shrugged uncomfortably. "I dunno. I'm just glad you two are getting along."
Well, that's one way of putting it. Willow was really getting to the end of her rope here. "Xander, what is going on?"
Xander looked guilty, and Willow thought for a moment he was going to break down and explain, but then his face cleared. "Anya! Hi! Um, Willow's here."
"Yes, I can see that," Anya said, fixing Willow with a curious stare. "Hello, Willow. How's your sex life going?"
Willow could feel her face crumple, and she wondered if Anya was this bitchy on purpose, or if it just came naturally to her. "I have no sex life! I've totally broken Tara's heart and Oz is going away again! Has all this slipped everyone's mind?" She glared at Anya, fighting tears. "Why do you care about my love life? I mean, first with that weird threesome thing at the magic shop and now this…"
"Oh, you silly girl," Anya said, shaking her head. "I told you to go and have sex with Oz and Tara, but did you listen?" She exhaled loudly. "Honestly, you people are hopeless." Noticing Xander's somewhat offended look, she smiled at him. "Not you, of course. You're very good at doing various menial jobs, and you're sexy."
"Thanks," Xander said, looking mollified. The expression on his face was still somewhat perturbed but mostly calm as he turned to Willow. "I know Anya's a little blunt, Wills, but she's just trying to help. We all are."
"Help with what?" Willow said, anger and sorrow replaced by complete confusion. "Why are you guys acting so strange?"
"Well, see…" Xander looked down for a moment, apparently at a loss for words, but his head jerked up when it looked like Anya was about to contribute to the conversation. "I got it, An!" He looked nervous and concerned, and Willow wondered for a moment if something awful had happened. But then, Xander was never nervous about what to say when something awful happened; he had more of a tendency to reek of righteous anger and go try to kill something. She stopped speculating when it looked like he was about to continue. "The thing is, Will, we know things are really weird right now between you and Oz and Tara."
"You can say that again," Willow said glumly. "I mean, I never thought having two wonderful people in my life would be such a problem."
"Well, yeah, that's why we're trying to help. See, we sort of figured, if Oz was okay with Tara and, uh, Tara didn't have a problem with Oz, then maybe the three of you, could, uh…" Xander's voice trailed off and he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.
Willow stared at him in disbelief. This was not happening. Her best friend was not suggesting that she and her, um, ex-boyfriend and sort-of girlfriend should form a threesome.
Seeing the look on her face, Xander hastened to explain himself. "'Cause, see, you're so unhappy, and Tara's unhappy, and Oz is unhappy, and so maybe if all three of you were together, you'd all be happy?" He gave her a hopeful, timid look, as if he expected her to smack him.
"I don't…I…" Willow's emotions were rushing up to smother her in a wave of confusion. On the one hand, everything she'd grown up with was telling her that three people together romantically was just weird. On the other hand, she loved Oz and Tara, and couldn't imagine her life without either of them in it. She imagined what it would be like, to go to clubs and say to people, 'This is my boyfriend, and this is my girlfriend.' She imagined Oz and Tara kissing each other, and was surprised to find that the thought didn't make her jealous. Well, maybe just a little bit, but that was only because she hadn't gotten any kissage from either of them in way too long. She imagined walking to class, holding hands with Tara on one side and Oz on the other.
Dragging her mind out of the daydreams, she turned to Xander with a weak smile. "That would be so cool."
Xander grinned with relief. "See, that's what we thought, too." Anya cleared her throat loudly, and Xander added, "It was Anya's idea."
So not surprised. Willow almost said it out loud when a terrible thought struck her. "But…Oz! And Tara! He went all wolfy! And, with the Initiative and stuff! Tara was really scared!"
Xander didn't look too concerned. "Well, see, while Anya was kind of preparing you for the whole happy threesome thing, Buffy and I have been doing a little matchmaking between a certain werewolf and a certain witch." At Willow's skeptical look, he blushed and said, "Okay, not matchmaking so much as just getting them to talk, and clear the air and stuff. By the expedient method of following Oz in a non-stalkery fashion, I happen to know that they went to hang out at a café together this afternoon. I called Oz afterwards to see how it went, and guess what he said?"
"What?" asked Willow, her mood lifting by the second.
"He said, and I quote, 'Tara's really cool. I can see why Willow likes her.'"
"He said that?" Willow said, her head filling with happy disbelief.
"Who said what?" Xander, Willow, and Anya turned their heads to see Buffy and Giles walking in. Buffy, who'd spoken before, looked from one face to another and finally said, "Okay, spill. What's happening?"
Xander nodded towards Willow. "We're letting Will in on our dastardly plan."
"Cool," Buffy said happily. "I was getting so impatient." She turned her face to Willow and frowned reproachfully. "What are you doing sitting around with us, when you could be calling Tara and Oz to set up a date?" She fumbled around in her pocket and pulled out a small piece of paper. "Here's the number for Oz's hotel room. You already know Tara's number, I'm presuming. Hoping, really, because I don't have it."
"Oh, I have it," Willow said absently. Wait! What? "Huh? Tara? Oz? Date?" She felt lightheaded, as if the world had suddenly decided that gravity wasn't such a good idea and she was now floating off into space.
Xander fixed her with a chiding look. "Duh, Wills. We can't fix every aspect of your love life for you. Some of it you're going to have to do yourself." He patted her on the shoulder. "Don't be a baby. Oz and Tara aren't that scary."
"But…" Talking with one of them would be hard enough. But both of them? In the same room, at the same time, suggesting that they indulge in some kind of kinky three-person relationship? Giving Angel back his soul, bargaining with Faith, and fighting vampires seemed like a piece of cake in comparison.
"Oh, do get on with it!" Startled and hurt, Willow looked at Giles, whose face softened. "Talk to them, Willow," he said in a gentler tone. "You're doing yourself no favors putting it off, and I do believe the rewards in this bizarre scenario outweigh the risks."
Whoo, there's gravity again. They were right. She couldn't sit here moping when the first love of her life was off in a hotel preparing to leave and the most wonderful girl she'd ever met was crying alone in a dorm room. "Yeah, okay," she said, encouraged by her friends' approving expressions. "I'll call them. I…I guess I'll see you guys later."
***
Tara hugged her notebook close to her chest and walked a little faster. Ever since the incident with the gentlemen, she'd found walking around alone at night downright creepy. What with houses being possessed by sexual feelings and vampire slayers who switched bodies, she'd been exposed to way more weird stuff in the last couple of months than she had in all the rest of her life put together.
Thankfully, she'd found a book at the library that had had just about everything that would be on the test. Without Willow to talk to and hang out with, Tara'd spent the last couple of days throwing herself into her studies. She felt like she was back in high school—being the shy girl who had nothing better to do than her homework.
She'd hated high school. Sighing, Tara slowed down, walking down the brick path at a leisurely stroll. Even academics and horrible memories of high school couldn't totally drown out the little part of her brain that kept daydreaming about kissing Willow. Willow was everything Tara had ever wanted in a girlfriend. She liked magic, she liked studying, and most importantly, she liked Tara. It had seemed too good to be true when they'd started doing spells together, eating together, just being together…
It was too good to be true, Tara thought unhappily. She'd known, in an abstract sort of way, that Willow had a boyfriend, and they still loved each other in a not-together kind of way. It had just seemed irrelevant at the time, with her and Willow spending all their time together and Oz off wherever he'd been, controlling his werewolfness.
Hmmm…the wolfsbane. Tara guessed she'd have to call Oz about it. Tara wondered for a moment if the wolf part of Oz was a suppressed aspect of his own personality or a completely separate entity. She'd have to ask him about it sometime, when things between him and Willow were less murky. How had he become a werewolf, anyway? Was he born like that or did he get bitten by one or something? Did lycanthropy run in families? Why hadn't she covered any of this in her term paper?
Tara was so involved with thoughts of Oz and werewolves that it took a moment for her to realize someone was saying "Hi" to her.
She forced a smile. It was Serena, one of the girls from the campus Wicca group. Serena was one of the many witches in that group who were so obsessed with being Wiccan, they didn't even bother to figure out what that meant. For a few of them, Serena included, being Wiccan was all about having moony, witchy names and dressing in black. Tara didn't think the girl knew the least bit about witchcraft, any more than she thought that Serena was her given name, but she was a friendly (if over-enthusiastic) person who'd always been nice to Tara. "Hi, Serena," she said, trying to make the forced cheer in her voice sound more real.
"Hey, Tara. What have you been up to? We haven't seen you around the coven recently." She gave Tara a toothy grin, and Tara felt her hair stand on end. Something about the girl struck her as not right, somehow.
She smiled nervously, taking a step back. "Umm…I've b-been studying with W-Willow. Rosenberg. We're thinking of m-maybe starting our own coven." It wasn't entirely a lie. Willow had insisted that there just had to be some other serious magic-users in Sunnydale, and they'd been toying with the idea of finding a few to ask for help with the more difficult spells.
"Willow, the spell-casting broomstick girl, right?" Serena's grin was getting wider and somewhat more menacing, and Tara's breath started to quicken. "Are you two, like, girlfriends?"
Some distant part of Tara's consciousness registered the remark and bitterly replied Not anymore, but the rest of her brain was focused on the un-Serena edging closer to her. "Uh, uh, sort of, you know," Tara said, searching around nervously for a place to hide. "I'd b-better get back to her. She'll wonder where I am."
"Don't worry," Serena said, looking for all the world like a shark tracking the scent of blood. "When she finds your body tomorrow morning, she'll know."
Giving up all pretense of a conversation, Tara dropped her notebook and ran. She was a pretty fast runner; playing tag with her more athletic brother and cousins had made her good at running and hiding if nothing else. But she could hear the steady pace of Serena's footsteps behind her, and Tara had the feeling she was just being played with. Serena knew she'd win the race; she was just giving chase until she got bored. Tara quickened her pace.
Serena sped up, too, and Tara wondered frantically if demons and monsters got tired or ran out of breath. It didn't sound like it; it didn't sound like Serena had to breathe at all. Tara's own chest was starting to burn, and she could feel her legs growing sore and tired. The light in the library window shone ahead of her like a gleaming beacon of safety, but Tara wasn't sure if she could reach it in time. Serena was gaining. Tara opened her mouth to scream, and found she had no breath left with which to do it.
With a rustle and a thump, something jumped out of the bushes onto Serena's back and she fell to the ground, snarling. Tara was horrified to see her fellow witch's face twisted and bestial, her fangs protruding like knives from her cavernous mouth. "Tara! Run!" the thing on Serena's back yelled, and Tara realized with a start that it was Oz. Every instinct she had was telling her to take his advice and make for the library, but at the same time, she didn't want to leave him to have his blood sucked out.
Oz shoved Serena's face into the ground, hard, and jumped off her back. Grabbing Tara's arm, he started running and her legs automatically followed him. Serena was up in what seemed like the blink of an eye, but Oz was a fast runner. Almost dragging Tara behind him, he rocketed up the library steps and into the main lobby, slamming the door behind him.
"Well," he said, panting, "that was close."
Tara felt as if she didn't quite understand what was happening. Oz had saved her from Serena---but that didn't make any sense! Why was Serena trying to kill her to begin with? Tara was fairly certain that the other girl hadn't always been a vampire. Wouldn't she have noticed something? Had she been so self-absorbed the last couple of weeks to pick up on the fact that an acquaintance of hers had been killed by vampires?
Oz was looking at her, concern in his clear grey eyes. "You okay?"
Tara gulped air, trying to get her breathing back to some semblance of normal. "Yeah," she gasped. "I'm okay."
"That's good." Still breathing hard, Oz dropped onto the padded bench by the return desk. "Word of advice: don't go walking at night alone without a weapon or something."
An embarrassed flush burnt Tara's cheeks; she should have known this. What with Willow's best friend being a vampire slayer and the weird things she herself had experienced this year, she should have known better than to be walking through Sunnydale's campus at night. Hold on, she thought. According to Willow, Oz had been fighting monsters and stuff for years; what was he doing walking around alone?
"D-did you bring a weapon?" Tara asked softly, trying not to sound critical. He had, after all, just saved her life.
Oz laughed shortly. "No. Guess I ought to start practicing what I preach." He looked at the floor, scratching at his spiky red hair with one hand, and Tara wondered for a moment what it would feel like to run her fingers through it. "I was heading back from Willow's dorm. I didn't really mean to stay out that late, but now I'm sort of glad I did."
Tara frowned. What had Willow and Oz been doing? "So, d-did you and Willow talk?" she asked, sounding jealous and hating herself for it.
Oz didn't appear to pick up on this; he just shook his head, an anguished expression on his face. "No. I tried, but I couldn't work up the nerve to do it." His face was suddenly flushed with anger and Tara jumped back as he slammed a fist into the bench. "Dammit!" he said, frustration evident in his voice. "I never used to have trouble talking to Willow about anything! Even when I had no clue what to say, I could just go to her and I'd think of something. Now, it's like…" He swallowed heavily, and Tara felt a pang of sympathy in her heart. "It's like I can't even be in the same room with her, because all I want to do is kiss her and hold her, and I know I can't do that, because she's yours. She loves you." He met Tara's eyes for a moment, his gaze full of anger and sadness and tenderness and other emotions Tara couldn't even put a name to.
"How'd you and Willow m-meet?" Tara asked, echoing his question from that afternoon. She'd barely even thought of it before, but suddenly she was curious. How did her Willow and this odd-but-nice werewolf get together, and why had they broken up in the first place if they still loved each other so much?
A tense, sad smile darted across Oz's face and was gone almost as soon as it appeared. "We went to high school together. I sort of knew her by reputation—she got second in the science fair two years in a row—but we didn't meet until her junior year. My band was playing at this cultural exchange costume party thing, and she was there as an Eskimo."
Tara smiled. Somehow, it seemed totally right that Oz would be in a band. She sat down beside him and watched as he recalled his and Willow's beginnings.
Oz's face was more relaxed, and he seemed to be enjoying the memories now. "We started talking more after I got shot on career day. You might want to ask Will about that one," he said with a quick glance at Tara, who was wondering just what kind of high school they had gone to. "She asked me to go to Buffy's birthday party as her date; I thought she was really sweet and had a nice smile, so I went. We just kind of…fit together, you know?"
Tara knew. It had taken her weeks to realize she was falling in love with Willow, but once she had, it had seemed like the most natural thing in the world. She could easily see how it could have been the same way with Willow and Oz. Picturing them together in her mind's eye, she was forced to admit that they were a strange but completely perfect couple; Oz's rigid self-control balancing out Willow's enthusiasm and Willow's bright cheeriness acting as a foil to Oz's quiet humor. She almost felt bad for a moment for coming between them. But, hey! Oz had left Willow before Tara'd even come into the picture! "Why'd you two break up?" she asked, the question coming out more sternly than she'd intended.
The happiness that had been slowly filling Oz's face drained in an instant. His mouth tightened and he sat up straighter. He turned his face from Tara and stared out the window, the pale moonlight making him look as if he'd been carved from stone. "There was this girl—this other werewolf, Veruca. I felt…" He broke off, his expression dark. "I don't know what I felt for her, other than some sort of animal attraction, but we ended up sleeping together. Willow caught us the morning after the full moon."
Tara was struck with horror. How could he have done that to her? Tara could easily imagine Willow's heartbreak at finding her boyfriend with another woman; what she couldn't imagine was what could have possibly driven Oz to do such a thing. He clearly loved her, so how could he have hurt her like that?
Some of her shock must have been evident on her face, because Oz turned to look at her again. It seemed for a moment as if he was trying to smile, but he gave up after a moment, and his face was bleak as he said, "I don't know why I did it. I didn't love Veruca—hell, I didn't even like her. I guess the wolf part of me was just really attracted to her, and I didn't fight it hard enough."
"Did you two date?" Tara asked, making a mental note to herself to find this Veruca. She was probably a student, so it wouldn't be too hard to look her up and then go soap her windows or something.
"Me and Veruca?" Oz made a noise in his throat that sounded almost like laughter. 'No way. After Willow walked in on us, I kicked Veruca out, but she came back that evening. She went after Willow. She hit her. She kept telling me that I belonged with her, and that I was an animal and I couldn't keep pretending to be human. All the while Willow was sitting in a corner crying, and I remember thinking that I couldn't possibly be all monster, because Willow still loved me." He paused, looking unsure of himself for a moment.
Tara, mesmerized, asked, "What happened?"
"I killed her. Veruca, that is." Oz searched Tara's eyes for a moment; apparently finding what he needed, he continued. "It was the full moon, and we both changed. We started fighting, the way wolves do, and I ripped her throat out."
Tara tried to be horrified for a moment, but it was too difficult. Perhaps this was because if some evil werewolf had stolen Willow's boyfriend and hit her in front of Tara, Tara probably would've ripped someone's throat out, too—in a purely metaphorical sense, of course. Perhaps her lack of fear came from Oz's face. His mouth was twisted down in a self-loathing mockery of a smile and his eyes were full of shame and sadness. He looked as if he would have given almost anything to be somebody else, and that was a sentiment with which Tara was intimately familiar.
Without meaning to or even really thinking about it, she leaned in and kissed him. She'd never kissed a guy before, but found it really wasn't all that different from kissing Willow. Only, it was totally different from kissing Willow. Oz's mouth was stronger and more hungry than Willow's, and he tasted different. Tara wasn't exactly a connoisseur of saliva, but she would have sworn at that moment that she could tell Willow and Oz apart simply from the taste of their tongues on hers.
Suddenly, the warmth of Oz's mouth pulled away, and shock started tingling in Tara's chest. What in the world had possessed her to start kissing her girlfriend's ex-boyfriend? God, what if Willow had seen them? Tara felt a sinking feeling at the thought of breaking Willow's heart.
"I don't--" Oz's voice was husky, and he sounded out of breath. "I don't understand where that came from."
Tara nodded, unable to muster up the presence of mind to put two words together. Sure, she'd daydreamed about kissing Oz, and the reality of it had been even better than she'd imagined, but she wasn't daydreaming now. She knew Willow'd be completely crushed if they both cheated on her. Kind of an odd way of putting it, she reflected. It makes it sound like the three of us are a couple.
Oz cleared his throat. "So, uh, maybe we should sort of just forget we did that."
"That would be a g-good idea," Tara said. Of course, it wouldn't work, but better that than explain to Willow that the two people she loved most in the world were betraying her with each other.
Oz nodded briskly, as if everything was settled. "Okay. Cool. I'm just gonna go to my hotel room now and, uh…" He sifted through his pockets, finally coming up with a somewhat bent and crumpled hotel notepad. "Got a pen?" Confused, Tara felt around in her purse until she found one and handed it to him. He scribbled something on the pad and ripped the top sheet off, offering it to her. "That's my number at the hotel. That wolfsbane thing sounded like a good idea, so maybe we should get together some time and you could tell me what it does and how much I should take." He met Tara's eyes squarely, all hints of nervousness carefully hidden under a calm façade. "I don't plan on hurting Willow like that again. I just think, with both of us loving the same woman, it'll probably be best for all concerned if we set up some kind of working friendship. That way, no matter which one of us Will picks, neither of us gets left out in the cold."
Tara nodded and took the crumpled wad of paper from Oz, trying to ignore the numb feeling the words "working friendship" raised. She couldn't have her cake and eat it too, but maybe she could have both Willow and Oz in her life, even if she didn't get to love both of them. "Okay. G-good-bye, then," Tara said tentatively.
"See you around." Giving her one last half-smile, Oz turned around and pushed open the library doors to the courtyard outside.
Tara shivered, her breath suddenly quickening in her chest. She curled up on the bench and smiled at the librarian, who was giving her a very strange look. Perhaps, she decided, she'd best hang out at the library tonight. If she tried walking home again, there'd be nobody hanging around this time to save her.
***
Willow stared at the phone, willing herself to pick it up. Come on, Willow, she thought, he was your boyfriend for almost three years. Surely you can manage a five-minute conversation with him!
She had been giving herself these little pep talks all day, with no success. She'd decided the previous night that it was too late to be setting anything up—plus, she needed all the time she could get to think of what she was going to say.
Why does everything have to be so hard? Willow thought, frustrated. The weird little fling with Xander senior year had been bad enough, but at least with Xander she knew that no matter how things worked out, they'd still be friends. With Oz and Tara, she couldn't be sure. Oz was probably ready to leave at a moment's notice, and Tara had a remarkable ability to vanish into the nooks and crannies of the college campus, making her almost impossible to find when she wanted to be lost. There was only one happy outcome, and so many sad ones.
Don't think about that! Willow told herself firmly. Just call Oz! She had decided to call him first, out of some misguided belief that he would be easier to talk to, but she was having no more luck dialing his number than she was Tara's.
Willow was terrified of screwing things up with Tara. She was so smart, so funny, so good with magic, but she was also scared. Sometimes Willow thought Tara was scared of herself, like she'd let herself get too involved with someone, only to get her heart broken. Perhaps she'd had another girlfriend once—Willow'd never asked and Tara had never volunteered the information. With Tara, Willow walked softly, trying not to go too fast or demand too much. It occurred to her that perhaps Oz had been the same way the first few months they'd gone out.
She'd been so ticked. It was her first boy-girl relationship (marrying Xander in kindergarten so did not count!) and she had wanted kisses and—well, not sex, but maybe groping or something. It had taken quite a few dates with Oz and a few brief arguments to realize that he hadn't been holding back because he didn't like her; he'd been holding back because he did like her, and didn't want their relationship to be a purely physical thing. Once they'd been going out for a while, Oz had no objection to hugging and kissing and--
Oooh, how was that going to work out with three people?
Taking a deep breath, Willow reached for the phone. She'd do it this time. She'd call Oz, and then she'd call Tara, and everything would work out great. Maybe.
***
Oz was wondering if maybe he ought to see about buying a couple more pairs of socks when the phone rang. Sighing, he went over to answer it. Please, God, don't let it be Xander again…
"Hello?" he said, listening to the soft sound of breathing on the other end.
"Oz?" a soft female voice asked, and Oz's heart melted. It was Willow. Why was she calling? Did she want to get together with him? Or maybe she just wanted to say 'Goodbye, I've picked Tara, no use moping over me anymore!' Or maybe…
"Oz, are you there?" Willow's voice sounded soft and unsure, and Oz was reminded once again of Tara. Ooh, that was a can of worms that didn't need opening. How could he have kissed her like that? He hoped for the conversation's sake that the memory of Tara's warm kiss faded in the next couple of seconds.
"Yeah," he said. "I'm here, Willow. What's up?"
"Um, I know this is going to sound kind of weird, but, uh, how do you feel about Tara?"
Oz only just managed to stop himself from hitting himself in the head with the phone. God, Will, you don' t want to know. He didn't even want to entertain the possibility of breaking Willow's heart by confessing his…well, make-out session, for lack of a better term…with her girlfriend. He certainly didn't want to bring up the fact that he was really starting to find Tara very attractive. That really wouldn't help his case with Willow. "I like her," he said, trying to keep his voice neutral. "She's not real judgmental, and she seems to know a lot about werewolves. She's giving me this stuff, this wolfsbane, to help control the wolfy instincts."
"Wow!" Willow sounded inexplicably pleased, and Oz wondered if she was afraid he'd attack Tara again. "That's so cool! See, I was thinking…well, we're kind of messed up now, the three of us, and maybe we could all go eat dinner or something and work out exactly what we're going to do. 'Cause, Buffy and Anya and Xander gave me this idea of what we could maybe do, and I wanted to run it by you."
Ah, yes. The romantic stylings of Buffy, Anya, and Xander. Oz was almost afraid to think about what the three of them might have come up with. He knew they meant well, but they had no idea how complicated the situation was. Hell, he was having trouble figuring it out! It didn't strike him as particularly likely that they had formed a plan that would make everyone concerned happy. Still, it was plain to see that something had to be done. They couldn't live like this, avoiding each other in a small college town and wishing they could be together but too afraid of each other to ask. No matter how the evening turned out, it was better than this tense purgatory they were stuck in now. "Sounds like a plan," he said to Willow.
"Great!" Willow said, and Oz felt somewhat better when he heard the joy in her voice. He hadn't heard that joy since that full moon a couple of weeks ago when he'd showed her how well he controlled the wolf. His mood promptly dropped again when he remembered the next day. I sure showed Tara how well I controlled the wolf then, huh? He was jerked out of his self-hate by Willow's cheerful but still somewhat hesitant voice. "I'll see you at, um, seven at the Bronze, 'kay?"
"Okay," Oz said, smiling at the thought of seeing his Willow again.
"Um…Bye then!" He heard a click on the other end, and he put the phone down and sighed. He could handle an entire evening with Willow without being able to stroke her hair or wrap her arms around him. He could stifle all those pesky instincts telling him that kissing Tara was really nice and ought to be done again. Sure. No problem.
Who the hell was he kidding? Oz decided he'd better take a cold shower now, and then maybe spend the next couple of hours packing. No way was he going to be able to stay in town after this.
Sitting on the bed, Oz imagined sitting around a table with Willow and Tara, together. Willow would say in her painfully sincere voice that she'd moved on, and she still liked him, but she loved Tara now. Then they'd smile at him pityingly, wishing he'd go away. The image wasn't terribly appealing. He wondered if Tara had told Willow about him kissing her. Well, technically, she had kissed him first. Which meant what? She had a crush on him? Crap. This was shaping up to be a real mess. God, wasn't there anyway the three of them could work this out that wouldn't end in one of his girls being totally shattered?
When, exactly had he started thinking of them as his girls? Arggh. Oz suddenly felt the need for large quantities of wolfsbane. Sighing, he stood up and went to run himself a cold shower.
****
When Tara heard the phone ring, she was more than halfway tempted to just let it ring. She was busy with more important things, like figuring out if she really liked Oz or it was just some kind of weird fluke. Her sexual identity was probably worth missing a phone call or two.
On the other hand, Tara'd felt so isolated since her little incident with Oz the previous night. She'd almost called Willow a dozen times, but had stopped after dialing the first couple of numbers each time. What could she say? Sorry, Willow, I like your boyfriend and the two of us made out and I really liked it! I still love you, though! She'd walked home a few hours ago after spending the whole night in the library, completely alone and totally confused. Maybe talking with whoever it was on the other end of the phone would anchor her disjointed thoughts to the real world.
"Hello?" she said, and she knew before the caller spoke who it was. Magic was handy that way sometimes.
"Hi, Tara. It's Willow." Willow sounded happy, and Tara felt a pinching feeling in her gut. Had she come to a conclusion? Was she going away with Oz, or was she going to come over and kiss Tara? That'd be nice, Tara thought, feeling miserable knowing that that almost certainly wasn't the case.
"Hi, Willow," she said. "How are you d-doing?"
"I'm good," Willow said, and she certainly sounded it. Obviously something good had happened, but Tara didn't know if had anything to do with her so she decided not to ask. "Xander told me you and Oz had a talk."
Tara felt a sudden flash of fear, then realized that Willow was referring to their drink at the café the other day. Not the kissing. She doesn't know about the kissing. Act natural. "Yeah. We had iced tea. He's really nice."
"I know." For the first time, Willow's enthusiastic tone flagged, and Tara felt her heart stop for a moment. Here it comes. "Tara, I know I've been awful to you these past couple of weeks. I mean, with Oz and everything, I just kind of didn't want to deal with it, you know? But, I mean, I didn't have any right to leave you hanging like that, and I'm really sorry."
"It's okay," Tara said. I'm surprised it's taken you this long. If I had to choose between Oz and me, there'd be no contest—Oz would win, like, five minutes after he walked into the room. Especially if he kissed me like he did last night. Argh, Bad Tara! No kissy thoughts about Willow's boyfriend!
"Well, no, it's not, and I feel really bad. But, uh, Oz and I are eating dinner together tonight, and I think you ought to come, because the three of us have a lot to talk about."
"Are you--" Tara's breath caught in her throat, and she had to start again. "Are you and Oz t-together again?" She hoped not. The thought of losing Willow made her mouth go dry, and she was somewhat disturbed to realize that she would miss Oz, too, if the two got back together. Don't think the two of us would be kissing very often, then.
Willow's voice was shaky as she said, "No. Not, uh, not really. I think that's sort of what we need to talk about. 'Cause, maybe there's a solution, but there'd have to be some pretty major talking beforehand."
"Okay," Tara said, wondering what solution Willow was talking about. The two of them get together, and they set me up with Buffy's mom? Eeeghh. Don't even go there.
"Cool. So, um, we're meeting at seven at the Bronze."
The Bronze. Of course. It seemed to be pretty much the official Scooby Hangout™. "Okay, I'll be there."
"Great. See you then!" Tara could almost hear Willow's huge grin over the phone as she hung up, and she felt her spirits lifting. God, Willow was so great. Even if she did end up with Oz, Oz was great, too, and the three of them could still be friends. Of course, she'd rather be Willow's girlfriend. Or maybe Oz's girlfriend. But friends would be okay, too.
****
Willow was more nervous than she'd ever been in her whole life. She'd had a lot of scary moments in her life, but this one—knowing that if she screwed it up, the two loves of her life would most likely leave her—took the cake.
She'd agonized for almost an hour over what to wear, how she should present herself. She finally decided on a dark green velvet shirt Buffy'd gotten her for her birthday; Tara had a particular fondness for velvet clothes and Oz always said he liked how dark green looked on her. She'd messed with her hair, but she'd eventually decided to just leave it down. It was short enough so it didn't get in the way, and it looked okay as it was.
Everything was ready; she just had to wait for Tara and Oz to arrive. She hung around outside the door of the Bronze for a minute, then decided that they'd find her easily enough if she went in. She found an empty table near the bar and sat down. The band was playing soft, slow music. That was good, because Willow had some pretty important stuff to say that she didn't feel like yelling across the room.
She couldn't help the thrill that ran down her spine as Tara and Oz entered the Bronze at the same time, only a few steps apart. She wondered if maybe they'd walked there together. That would be good. It would indicate an ability to at least hang out with each other, which would be a definite prerequisite to entering a romantic relationship. Oh, Goddess, she hoped this would work!
"Hi," she greeted, smiling as brightly as her nerves would allow.
"Hey," Oz said, the small half-smile Willow loved playing on his lips. Tara didn't say anything, but she smiled shyly and gave a little wave. They both sat down, as obviously nervous as Willow.
Willow felt her breath quicken. "Do you guys wanna talk first or eat first?"
"Talk," Tara said firmly. When Oz and Willow both looked at her in surprise, she shrugged. "I've been miserable for the past two weeks. Whatever problems we have, I want to work them out."
Oz nodded slowly. "Yeah. Having everything laid out would definitely be of the good." He looked expectantly at Willow, who wondered why she hadn't brought Buffy or maybe Xander along as backup.
"Well, uh…" Willow shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "First off, I'm really sorry I've been indecisive-girl over the last couple of weeks. I should have been talking to you guys the whole time, but I was so freaked out by the whole situation, I just kind of wanted to forget about it."
Oz frowned, and Tara shrunk into her seat. "Good to know that we're so unpleasant, you just want to forget us," Oz said, his tone level but not very happy.
"No, no, that's not what I meant!" Willow said frantically. "I just meant, I didn't want to hurt either of you, so I tried to think of a way we could all be happy, but I couldn't, so I did the whole 'hide from the world' thing. I wouldn't…I'd never want to forget about you, either of you!"
Oz sighed, his face relaxing somewhat. "Guess I can't blame you for the hiding thing. I kind of spent the last two weeks holed up in a hotel room, trying to convince myself to either leave town or call you."
"I'm glad you didn't. Leave town, I mean," Willow said, trying to smile at him.
"Me too," Tara said quietly. Oz turned his attention towards her and she looked down nervously. "I'm glad we got to t-talk, you know? I think it helped."
Willow was filled with warm fuzzy feelings as Oz smiled at Tara "I think it helped, too." Bringing his attention back to Willow, he said, "You said over the phone that you had an idea for how to work this mess out. You wanna run it by us?"
"Um…I've been talking with Buffy and Xander and the rest, about how I'm all unhappy and you're all unhappy, and they came up with a kind of solution. To, you know, our problem."
Oz smiled at her, half impatient and half affectionate. "I sort of inferred that from the whole 'idea for how to work this mess out.' I'm just kind if curious as to what kind of solution we're talking here."
Tara looked down, her face sad, and Willow felt her throat tighten. She couldn't let Tara think she didn't love her. This is it. "Um…they said maybe we should get together. All three of us." At their uncomprehending expressions, Willow reddened and gestured meaninglessly with her hands. "Like, in a boyfriend-girlfriend-girlfriend way."
"Like a threesome?" Oz asked, looking as shocked as he ever looked. Tara's face had turned white and she was clutching something with her hands under the table.
"Well, yeah," Willow said softly. Oh, God, they think I'm some kind of freaky kinky sex person.
Oz raised an eyebrow. "Not entirely sure how that would solve our problems, Will. It kind of sounds like the kind of thing that would complicate matters considerably."
"But, but, it wouldn't have to," Willow said desperately. Tara's face was looking tight and pinched, and Willow had the horrible feeling that if she didn't do some mighty fine convincing in the next couple of minutes, Tara'd walk away from her. "I mean, I know you two don't know each other that well yet, but you could, and Tara, he's a really nice guy, and I know you'd like him." Tara and Oz exchanged unreadable expressions, and Willow felt something tighten in her chest.
"So, um, maybe you two know each other better than I thought, huh?" Both Tara's and Oz's faces flooded with shock and shame, and Willow quelled the spiteful thread of jealousy she felt. I should have known. My love life is always messy and painful. "No, see, that's a good thing. Because then, you two can love each other, and we can all be together." She glanced up from the table to see how they were taking this. Oz looked serious, and he was frowning at some point over the bar. Tara's face had gone from pale and pinched to downright grey.
Why won't she say anything? Willow was almost frantic at this point. Oz, when he wasn't being all werewolfy, could generally be counted on to think things through. Maybe he'd stay away from Willow for a while he thought about everything, but he wouldn't go forever, not without saying goodbye. Tara, on the other hand, had always been so tentative, so unsure that her love was returned. With two other people instead of just one in a relationship, Tara would be exposing herself to twice the pain, and Willow could totally understand how she might not be able to risk that.
But we could make her happy! Willow could already see the way Oz's face softened when he looked at Tara. Maybe he didn't love her, not yet, but he'd stand by her and protect her. And whether Tara knew it or not, Willow would rather die than abandon her. Steeling herself, she drew a deep breath and turned her face towards Tara. "See, 'cause, I love both of you, and I can't imagine living without either of you—not that it's all about me," she said quickly. "I mean, Tara, you could help Oz out so much with the werewolf thing, and Oz, you could keep Tara and me from getting so deep into the magical stuff that we get into really powerful scary demony trouble."
Both of them were still staring at her, and she felt tears prick at her eyes. "I just thought…" she tried, but a lump in her throat kept her from getting further than that.
Like a flash, two hands reached out to take her own; Tara had gotten a hold of her left and was squeezing it tightly, and Oz had grabbed her right and was stroking her hair with his other hand. "Don't cry," he said softly.
"It was a g-good idea," Tara said, giving Oz a small smile. Oz and Willow looked at her, too surprised to say anything, and she blushed heavily. "I d-don't usually go for guys, you know, but Oz is pretty cute. And, um, if you don't count the fact that he almost killed me that one time, he's been really nice. He saved me from a vampire, and…" Tara's voice was so low Willow had trouble hearing it. "…and he's a good kisser."
Willow couldn't stop the smile that spread across her face at that statement. A small part of her mind was sputtering in jealousy, but the rest of her was proud and glad that her girlfriend and boyfriend had come together like that.
"Huh," Oz grunted. Willow stiffened. This wasn't supposed to happen. Oz had on his unreadable expression, the one he wore when he was really upset. Was he…rejecting them? Both of them? A moment passed, and suddenly Willow and Tara jerked in surprise as he started laughing.
"Um, what's funny?" Willow
asked, a weak and tremulous smile gracing her features. If he was laughing at them, at the idea that all three of them
could be together and it could actually work, she had no idea what she'd do.
"I'm sorry," Oz said, a short laugh escaping him. "This is just the most ironic thing that's happened to me in…well, the last two weeks, I guess."
"Ironic?" Tara said, frowning. Willow thought, almost frantic, that if Oz was rejecting Tara's offer, as timid and quiet as it had been, it would break Tara's heart. She had a low enough self-esteem as it was; surely Oz could see that!
"Yeah, ironic," he said, nodding. "See, I was really worried tonight that you two would end up together and I'd get so pissed at losing both of you that I'd wolf out and do something really scary."
"Both of us?" Willow asked, hope rising in her. Did he mean…
"Yeah." He turned to Tara and moved the hand that had been stroking Willow's hair to cover Tara's free hand. "See, Tara, I meant what I said yesterday—the part about you being smart and brave and totally right for Willow. Thing is, you're also really pretty, and you know a lot about werewolves, and you smell really nice. I'm a werewolf, I notice these things," he said in response to their odd looks at the last part. "Even though I almost killed you and would have totally understood if you never wanted to talk to me again, you let me apologize and you even helped me with the wolfsbane tip. Plus, you, too, are good with the kissage. Point is, you're a sweet girl and I think I like you. So, if you and Will are willing to be with me, I'm definitely willing to be with you."
Tara's lower lip trembled. "I…I don't know what to say." Willow, whose tears were now falling against her smiling face, wrapped an arm around her.
"You don't have to say anything. I think now is the part where we hug." She shot Oz a look, and he nodded.
"Yep. Definitely the hugging part." He stepped out of his chair and gently kissed Tara's forehead. "You up for it?"
Tara wiped fiercely at the tears springing from her eyes. She looked for a moment as if she was trying to say something, but then she closed her mouth and stood. Looking from Willow's face to Oz's and seeing only gentle smiles, she reached for them and pulled them to her in an embrace.
After a couple of seconds that seemed to last forever, Willow pulled out of the hug and beamed at Tara and Oz. "Check it out! The couple at the table next to us is giving us funny looks."
"I'll bet," Oz said wryly, and Tara muttered something into his shirt. He smiled and said to Willow, "Tara wants to know if you want to eat right now, because she really doesn't feel like it."
"Oh, no, I'm okay." Willow stepped back a moment and took in the sight of the two people she loved most in the world together and happy. Everything wasn't totally worked out between them, and Oz had probably had a point when he'd said that having a three-person romance was going to be more complicated than a two-person one, but all in all, Willow was having a hard time thinking of a happier moment. Smiling so hugely she felt certain her face would be sore later, she said, "We…we can take it slow, you know. We can take classes together and hang out. It's not like we have to tell the world we're a couple, or a trio, or whatever we'd be. We can just go dancing, and see movies, and you two can get to know each other better, and Oz can tell me all about what he learned when he was gone, and we can have smoochies! Guys, this is going to be so great!"
"It's not so bad now," Oz observed, Tara's arms still wrapped around his back and her face buried in his shoulder.
Tara pulled her head up and smiled weakly. "I've never had a boyfriend before. This ought to be an interesting experience."
"Is my guyness gonna be a problem?" Oz asked lightly, and Willow relaxed as Tara shook her head. He was feeling witty; this was definitely a good sign. "'Cause, you know, I'm not terribly familiar with the whole 'two girlfriends' thing either. Has anybody given any thought to how we're going to slow dance?"
Tara giggled, and Willow kissed Oz on the lips. Pulling back, she gazed happily into his eyes. "We'll show you," she said, and Tara slid a hand into hers. The two women kissed, then pulled their lover out onto the dance floor.
****
Buffy tapped her fingers anxiously on Giles's coffee table. "If she's not here in five minutes, I am so calling over there."
Xander, sitting across from her in an ugly green loveseat, frowned. "Over where? I thought you were her roomie! Shouldn't you know where she is?"
A twinge of guilt shot up Buffy's spine. Willow was one of her best friends; Buffy really should know where she was. "Well, yeah, but I went over to Riley's last night."
"Riley?" Giles said, disapproval hovering over his face. Giles had never been terribly fond of Buffy's choices in guys. He'd always thought she should be paying more attention to her duties as Slayer than her love life, and even she had to admit: first Angel, the vampire, then Parker, the womanizer—her judgment in the romantic field was not always of the best. No wonder he gave her that little British frown whenever she brought up her current relationship with Riley. She could practically see the cogs turning in his head: My God, she's so irresponsible! Off lolly-gagging with her militant paramour when she could be off killing vampires and saving her friends from demons and so forth! Get me some tea and scones before I polish a hole in my glasses!
Xander's eyes were wide with disbelief. "And you didn't call her at your room or anything? I mean, maybe she never even made it home last night! Maybe she got eaten by vampires on her way to the Bronze or something, and now she's an undead fiend!"
"Who's an undead fiend?" Willow said cheerily as she bounced into Giles's living room. Her friends immediately crowded around her.
"Well, Will?" Xander said expectantly. "Spill! How went the date?"
Buffy nodded eagerly. She was so tired of seeing her friends unhappy, that as weird as the threesome thing was, she was totally eager to see it work.
Willow's eyes rolled up and her expression turned from everyday happy bounciness to dreamy bliss. "Ooohh…really really good!"
At that moment, Oz and Tara walked in, holding hands. Wait, holding hands? This is good! They smiled at Willow and then at her startled friends, and Oz said, his non-committal Oz-ness fully back in place, "Hey, guys."
"So I take it everything went well?" Xander asked, his eyebrows wriggling in a ridiculous show of suggestion.
Oz seemed to ponder this for a moment, then nodded. "I guess you could say that. We were three twos, and now we're one three."
"Deep." Xander nodded sagely.
Giles made several "Hmm" noises in his throat, and Buffy suppressed a giggle. "Yes, well, I'm glad to see you've all come to some sort of agreement. I suppose you realize that you're going to have to keep all details of your private lives away from anywhere I might hear about them?"
Tara nodded shyly. "Check. We'll be very subtle." Letting go of Oz's hand, she walked over to Willow and gave her a small kiss in greeting.
Xander snickered. "Not that subtle, though."
Buffy elbowed him in the ribs and gave Willow her best 'Support-o Girl' smile. "This is great, Will! You guys are so cute together."
Willow blushed, and Oz smiled at her. "Yeah, there's definitely some cuteness there."
Giles cleared his throat loudly, and his friends/helpers/students/surrogate children all looked at him with expressions varying from curious to intensely irritated. "If we are all done, I believe some time should be devoted to the Xelada demon that is currently planning to breed in the basement of the public library."
Xander shook his head. "Who the hell breeds in a library?"
"Bet Giles would," Buffy said perkily, ignoring Giles' fierce glare at that. She spared a last glance at Willow, Tara, and Oz, who were currently engaged in some light cuddling. She couldn't help but smile, and hope that happiness—which she'd almost forgotten in the wake of Oz's absence and Willow's misery—would last a little longer for her friends this time. Still thinking warm fuzzy thoughts, she followed Xander and Giles into the study.
Buffy sighed and picked out a book without bothering to look at the title. One big demony text was as good as any other. Giles had picked up a small but exceedingly dusty volume and was taking notes. I hope I don't have to take notes. Xander had picked the largest volume of all, but Buffy, being the Slayer, had the extra-sharp vision to notice that he had slipped a comic book between its pages. Wishing for the umpteenth time that doing demon research was not a necessary evil, Buffy opened the book and was greeted by the sight of a demon playing what appeared to be parchesi with human skulls. Wow. What did he make that board out of? Is that…bone? Ewww.
Willow rushed into the study, flushed and happy-looking, and said, "Um, Tara thinks she has a book at her dorm that might have the Xelada demon in it. We're going to run over and get it." Buffy watched her friend bounce away and wondered for a moment if it was the Hellmouth's influence that made their romantic lives so strange. Buffy and her commando boyfriend, Xander and his sex-obsessed ex-demon girlfriend, and now Willow with her witchy girlfriend and her werewolf boyfriend! What was next—Giles and Professor Walsh? No, that would be way too weird.
Our lives are not like other people's, Buffy thought, shaking her head. She caught a glimpse through the open study door of Tara, Oz, and Willow leaving, Tara and Willow holding hands and Oz whispering something in Willow's ear that was making her giggle. Buffy smiled and turned her attention back to the book. Nope, not like other people's at all. But sometimes, they're better.
