Let Her Cry Part 5

Disclaimer: I do not own them because I don't have a big enough box to keep them in.

A/N I'm back. I've actually had this written for a LONG time, but I'm a lazy fat ass and couldn't be bothered to post it. One more thing, this part is more NC-17 but I didn't want to change the rating for the whole series. Besides ff.net has screwed me over with it's new (well not so new anymore) default ratings settings anyway.

They walked on in mutual silence for what seemed like eternity. The sound off the rain blended with the pattering of their feet to create subdued percussion in the charged atmosphere. The grey walls faded into one another, colours blended into nothing as the bitterness of lost love and the desperation of hope walked hand in hand through the night.
Finally Monica halted in front of a towering apartment block. To Chandler it looked just the same as the others, dull and neglected. The paint on the door was cracking and peeling away in violent red shards, the ground floor windows were shattered, and lurid graffiti decorated the walls. She turned to him, her frame shadowed in the doorway

" So I guess you're coming in then?"

" I guess so," he agreed, knowing full well that it had been a statement not a question.

He followed her up the winding, narrow stairs to her apartment. Up, up, up. Finally she stopped outside of a nondescript grey door. Her keys jangled in the lock for a moment then she pushed the door open, stepping aside to let Chandler in. The gasp that escaped his lips was loud and drawn out.

This was not a place the Monica he had know would even have considered living in. Damp spread up the walls, speckling the grey paint with patches of rot and mould. Old Chinese boxes and beer cans were spread haphazardly over the deflated sofa. A dim light bulb swung aimlessly above them and cardboard boxes were piled up against the wall, left unpacked.

"Well…." Chandler started, trailing off with nothing to say.
"Well" Monica repeated in a whisper

Chandler cleared his throat, trying desperately to shake off the awkwardness that had enveloped them. He had so many questions he needed answered, but he was scared. Before the accident he would have found it comfortable to talk to Monica, now he felt like he was standing precariously close to the edge of a cliff and if he said the wrong thing she'd push him off. It hurt him so much to admit it, but in reality she was a stranger to him. She looked the same, her beauty still took his breath away yet he knew that inside she was a completely different woman. Her life had changed, she had changed with it.

" So, this is more difficult than it should be" spoke Monica into the silence, surprising them both with her honesty

" Well what did you expect, a walk in the park?" snapped back Chandler, surprising them both with his anger.

He saw the flash of pain mixed with panic cross her face and regretted his words immediately. But he couldn't let her off so easily, a small, and carefully buried part of him was resurfacing. He swallowed down his anger, his feelings of relief at finding her out weighing the bitter note in his heart that was asking him why he was so grateful. After all, she was the one that left, she was the one that had broken his heart.

Seeing the anger written clearly on his face, Monica had turned around and disappeared into the dingy kitchen, Chandler followed her through, stepping over more piles of cardboard boxes on the way. She pulled a bottle of beer out of the barely below room temperature fridge, popped the cap and handed it to him with a timid smile. She knew he was hurting inside. If he couldn't read her she could still read him like a book, she always had been able to. The look he was giving her, his eyes filled with remorse tinged with hope and anger, was making her fall apart inside. He looked so confused, Monica couldn't blame him, she knew she owed him a lot of answers but she didn't know many of them herself. After she had left she had tried to ignore the questions, to ignore the pain of knowing she had left love in the past. Yet sometimes in the darkness and clarity of night she knew all she wanted to do was to curl up in Chandlers arms to cry away her fear and guilt. All she wanted to do was to allow herself to love.

And now here he was, no longer a night time dream but reality, standing in front of her, sipping on his beer. She reached up her hand and brushed his cheek gently. Slowly she leant forward and kissed him, timidly at first but with building passion as she became more confident that he wouldn't push her away. Chandler moaned deeply as he felt her thumbs caress his cheeks and her tongue slowly enter his mouth. He wanted so much to make love to her right there and then, to touch her, taste her, please her. It had been so long, too long but his head was telling him he needed to wait longer, he grabbed onto the only sensible thought circling his mind and reluctantly pushed her away.

"Chandler…" she breathed heavily, moving in to kiss him again. Chandler put his hands firmly on her shoulders and took a step back.

"We can't Monica"

"Why not?"

Why not? The question hung in the air tempting him,

"We can't because we need to talk," he stuttered, sounding unconvincing even to himself.

Monica knew he was right but she couldn't help herself, she couldn't fight what every nerve in her body was telling her was right. She wanted him now. Knowing he had very little, if any real resolve she moved closer, placing her mouth right against his ear,

"I don't think talking is what you really want to be doing right now…"

Chandler groaned inwardly, she was intoxicating. Her scent was in his nostrils, the image of her naked body was in his mind as he closed his eyes. The thought that her smooth skin was just inches away from his finger tips was driving him insane.

"make love to me Chandler," she blew into his ear, sucking teasingly on his earlobe

He just nodded yes, he was completely broken. Grabbing her by the waist he pressed his lips roughly against hers. He needed validation, he needed to know she was still his. His hands moved up from her waist into her hair, running smoothly through the raven strands then round to her front, cupping her breasts, rubbing her taut nipples through the thin fabric of her shirt. As their urgency increased they became less and less gentle with each other. Chandler pushed Monica roughly against the fridge, she gasped as he thrust forward, his erection pressing against her stomach. She pulled at the button on his pants, desperate to touch him. In the meantime he had gone to work on her shirt, pulling it off her shoulders and flinging it carelessly behind him, he quickly unhooked her bra and began to bite down on her nipples.

"Oh god Chandler," groaned Monica momentarily distracted from undoing his pants. He took over, hastily pushing his pants down to his ankles.

"Fuck me Chandler, fuck me now," she begged, feverishly placing kisses up and down his neck whilst running her hands up and down his still clothed chest. Chandler just grunted, instinct taking over. He pushed her skirt up to her waist, lifted her legs up around his side and positioned himself outside her entrance. Teasingly he just stopped, the tip of his erect penis probing but not penetrating her. Monica growled in frustration and grabbed him, forcing him into her and making him nearly loose his balance. Regaining his composure he laid his head on her shoulder and began to push in and out of her. He tried to be slow but she was meeting his thrusts with urgency, encouraging him to go faster and faster. He moved his hands up from her stomach and placed them on either side of her head and he began to pound in and out of her. Monica gasped and threw her head back, crying out loudly at every thrust. It had never been like this before, so desperate and raw, it had never been so heated yet devoid of real emotion. As Chandler came close, he pulled Monica's face to his and kissed her slowly and deeply. Her lips on his, their velvet smooth caresses, pushed him over the edge. He came hard, triggering her orgasm to shake through her spent body. They shook together, sharing each other's pleasure.

Gradually their bodies stood still and their steady breathing became the only sound in the heated silence of the apartment.

"Lets go to bed," Monica finally whispered, reluctant to break the peculiar mood that enveloped them. Chandler nodded and let her lead him to the bedroom, knowing he wouldn't be getting the chance to talk, or sleep, tonight.

TBC