I felt like I was flying. I felt incredible. What happened? I realized that I was looking at myself. I was in the bathroom of my apartment. I was slumped against a wall, lying in blood. My own blood. Oh. My. God. I did it. I really did it. I committed suicide. I watched the scene as I saw paramedics rush into the bathroom, along with Mark. The scene disappeared. There were white lights in front of me and then they faded. I was standing in front of my family. I blinked. It had to be a dream. In front of me was my wife and two children.
"Am I dreaming?" I said to myself.
"Luka" I heard my wife speak. I could feel the tears spring into my eyes. It had been so long since I had heard her voice.
"Am I dead?" I asked her. She shook her head.
"No, it's sort of like in-between. You'll live. It's not your time to die yet. You still have many wonderful things ahead of you." I walked towards my family, slowly, I was afraid they would disappear. I reached up and brushed my hand against my wife's cheek. The tears were running down my cheeks now.
"I'm sorry I couldn't protect you. I'm sorry I couldn't save you." My wife took my hand in hers.
"It's not your fault."
"It is, you wanted to leave, you knew it was dangerous but I was so stubborn."
"You couldn't have known. It was just our time." I nodded my head. "You have to go soon." I wrapped my arms around her and whispered that I loved her. I turned to my children and embraced them. I wished so much that I didn't have to go. Everything was starting to get hazy and I knew in a few moments I would return to God knows what on earth. They started to fade and then everything went black.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Luka? Luka? Can you open your eyes?" Damn. There was pain, a hell of a lot of pain. I slowly opened my eyes. They felt like they were made of brick. Suddenly I was staring up at the faces of Mark and Kerry.
"Oh thank you God." I heard Kerry say. I looked over at Mark. I could see he was trying to hold back tears. All at once everything caught up to me. I couldn't hold back things any longer.
"I'm sorry...God, I'm so sorry." I finally let the tears fall. It had been so long since I had cried, since I had shown any emotion. I had cut everything away. I made a decision then. I wanted to live. Today was the day I was going to start living again.