"Is She Worth It?" thought Aragorn-Chapter One
Disclaimer: I *sob* own nothing. But I doon't get it. If the dude is dead, why do I have to still put up these dumbass disclaimers?
A/N: I put genre as Humor/Romance, but it isn't really Romance, it's just based on an Aragorn/Arwen relationship?? Is that ok? But the Humor part is dead on. HUMOR!! MWAHAHAHA!!!!! Neways, this is my first LotR fic, so be nice! Please R&R!! Flames will be read halfway through, and used to feed my rabid pet chipmunks!! Enjoi!!
A/N: I like strange, unexpected twists, and basically am a maniac. So don't be surprised...
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
Chapter One-The Announcement
Aragorn and Arwen arrived in Rivendell to announce their engagement. Galadriel and Celeborn had raveled far, from Lothlorien to be present. As they rode through the gates, confetti magically rained from the sky. A party awaited them around the bend.
"CONGRATULATIONS!!" cried a whole crowd of people as they turned the bend. Aragorn and Arwen put on their practiced faces of surprise.
"I would like to announ-" Aragorn began, but was interrupted by Celebrian, Arwen's mother.
"HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY, FROM ALL OF US TO YOU, HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY FROM ALL OF US TO YOU.." she sang at the top of her lungs while doing somewhat of a spazmatic chicken dance. She repeated this numerous times, until Galadriel whomped on the head with a trashcan.
"That's enough out of you, dear." She said to her daughter's limp form.
Elrond sighed. "That's why you never see her in the movie." He opened up a little container, and swallowed about 20 pills. "Aaah, better."
"So as I was saying, Arwen and I would like to announce some very very special news. She and I are-" Aragorn was abruptly cut off by Pippin, who was also present. In fact, the whole company was present.
Pippin looked around while Aragorn spoke, and noticed the Congratulations banner. He had seen one once...When his great aunt Netty was. "Pregnant? You're pregnant?? Both of you?"
Aragorn looked confused. "No, we're not-"
Pippin ruhed over and stroked his belly. "Aw, Strider, you don't look pregnant. But I suppose the baby will be born nice and healthy. Yours too, Arwen!! Aww, can I be their godfather? Please? Puh-retty please?"
Merry promptly went over, and dragged Pippin away, telling Pippin in his ear, "Males don't get pregnant."
Aragorn and Arwen lookeda round, and Aragorn began once again. "We're-"
Pippin jumped in. "Wait! Why did you guys tell me you were pregnant when you weren't?? And you're gonna lie again!!" Celebrian had magically become conscious that the words 'you are pregnant' and didn't hear the last part.
"YOU TWO AREN'T MARRIED YET, AND YOU'RE TELLING ME YOU ALREADY FOOLED AROUND AND GOT HER PREGNANT!!!!!!!" she screamed, homicidal. She grabbed a bow and aimed it at his chest. Elrond, swiftly pulled the bow away and whispered something. Her face brightened. Celebrian skipped away, humming.
"What did you do?" asked everyone. Elrond gave a knowing grin. "I told her that there was ice-cream inside, but she would have to wait a long time for it."
Aragorn cleared his throat, and continued, "Arwen and I have made the happiest decision of our lives. She and I, we are-" a crazy Boromir ripped open Aragorn's packs and started going through it.
"Weed, weed, don't you got no weed? Grr..underwear, Claritin, a change of clothes, swords, a bow, a quiver..." He muttered, throwing these things behind him, the sword, nearly decapitating Frodo. Sam bellowed like a bull and rusehed at Boromir.
"YOU HOBBIT MURDERER! YOU TRIED OT KILL MR. FRODO, YOU NASTY, NASTY AWFUL PERSON, YOU!!!!!!!! I'LL KILL YOU!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" Boromir looked up at the wild, thrashing, nearly-rabid hobbit, and threw him aside.
"Weeeed...you don't gots no weeeed? What THE HELL is this?" He picked up a little box. "VIAGRA?! ARAGORN!! THIS WAS IN YOUR PACK!!" Aragorn flushed a deep red and tried to retrieve the box. All of Arwen's ancestors promptly tried to kill him.
"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!" cried Aragorn. "You people are crazy!!!! ARWEN AND I ARE ENGAGED!!! ENGAGED!!!!!!!!!!! NOT PREGNANT, NOT HIGH, AND NOT HOBBIT MURDERERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JUST ENGAGED!!!!!" Boromir looked up, grinning. He threw a little box to Galadriel.
"CONDOMS????? YOU HAVE CONDOMS!!!! WHY, I'LL GET YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" She chased Aragorn around.
Boromir threw something else, from Arwen's pack, to Elrond. "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!!!!!!!!!???????" He held up a little, tiny, clear string bikini. It had three roses on it: one on heach breast, and one down...down there. "GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!! HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU WORN THIS?!?!?!?!?!" He chased his daughter around.
Legolas started to scream that the dust was ruining his hair.
Yes, unfortunately, this went on for quite a while. Finally, Arwen and Aragorn settled into their *separate* rooms. Of course, Aragorn abandoned his, and went to Arwen.
"What an awful day!" sighed Arwen. She looked over. "Look what I retrieved from grandmother!" She showed Aragorn the little box that had caused the trouble. He grinned, and they stripped all their clothes off, and went under.
"YOU JUST WAIT ONE SECOND THERE, YOU LITTLE LOVE COUPLE!!!!" Celeborn stood in the doorway. "YOU WILL NOT, WILL NOT FOOL AROUND BEFORE YOU GET MARRIED!!!!! NOT WITH MY GRANDDAUGHTER!!!! BACK TO YOUR ROOM!!" Aragorn sighed, and got up. And left for his room. He forgot his clothes. Laughter was heard, and a realizing shriek followed that.
----------
END!!!!!
For now, at least. You like? Please R&R!!!!!!!!
Disclaimer: I *sob* own nothing. But I doon't get it. If the dude is dead, why do I have to still put up these dumbass disclaimers?
A/N: I put genre as Humor/Romance, but it isn't really Romance, it's just based on an Aragorn/Arwen relationship?? Is that ok? But the Humor part is dead on. HUMOR!! MWAHAHAHA!!!!! Neways, this is my first LotR fic, so be nice! Please R&R!! Flames will be read halfway through, and used to feed my rabid pet chipmunks!! Enjoi!!
A/N: I like strange, unexpected twists, and basically am a maniac. So don't be surprised...
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
Chapter One-The Announcement
Aragorn and Arwen arrived in Rivendell to announce their engagement. Galadriel and Celeborn had raveled far, from Lothlorien to be present. As they rode through the gates, confetti magically rained from the sky. A party awaited them around the bend.
"CONGRATULATIONS!!" cried a whole crowd of people as they turned the bend. Aragorn and Arwen put on their practiced faces of surprise.
"I would like to announ-" Aragorn began, but was interrupted by Celebrian, Arwen's mother.
"HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY, FROM ALL OF US TO YOU, HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY FROM ALL OF US TO YOU.." she sang at the top of her lungs while doing somewhat of a spazmatic chicken dance. She repeated this numerous times, until Galadriel whomped on the head with a trashcan.
"That's enough out of you, dear." She said to her daughter's limp form.
Elrond sighed. "That's why you never see her in the movie." He opened up a little container, and swallowed about 20 pills. "Aaah, better."
"So as I was saying, Arwen and I would like to announce some very very special news. She and I are-" Aragorn was abruptly cut off by Pippin, who was also present. In fact, the whole company was present.
Pippin looked around while Aragorn spoke, and noticed the Congratulations banner. He had seen one once...When his great aunt Netty was. "Pregnant? You're pregnant?? Both of you?"
Aragorn looked confused. "No, we're not-"
Pippin ruhed over and stroked his belly. "Aw, Strider, you don't look pregnant. But I suppose the baby will be born nice and healthy. Yours too, Arwen!! Aww, can I be their godfather? Please? Puh-retty please?"
Merry promptly went over, and dragged Pippin away, telling Pippin in his ear, "Males don't get pregnant."
Aragorn and Arwen lookeda round, and Aragorn began once again. "We're-"
Pippin jumped in. "Wait! Why did you guys tell me you were pregnant when you weren't?? And you're gonna lie again!!" Celebrian had magically become conscious that the words 'you are pregnant' and didn't hear the last part.
"YOU TWO AREN'T MARRIED YET, AND YOU'RE TELLING ME YOU ALREADY FOOLED AROUND AND GOT HER PREGNANT!!!!!!!" she screamed, homicidal. She grabbed a bow and aimed it at his chest. Elrond, swiftly pulled the bow away and whispered something. Her face brightened. Celebrian skipped away, humming.
"What did you do?" asked everyone. Elrond gave a knowing grin. "I told her that there was ice-cream inside, but she would have to wait a long time for it."
Aragorn cleared his throat, and continued, "Arwen and I have made the happiest decision of our lives. She and I, we are-" a crazy Boromir ripped open Aragorn's packs and started going through it.
"Weed, weed, don't you got no weed? Grr..underwear, Claritin, a change of clothes, swords, a bow, a quiver..." He muttered, throwing these things behind him, the sword, nearly decapitating Frodo. Sam bellowed like a bull and rusehed at Boromir.
"YOU HOBBIT MURDERER! YOU TRIED OT KILL MR. FRODO, YOU NASTY, NASTY AWFUL PERSON, YOU!!!!!!!! I'LL KILL YOU!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" Boromir looked up at the wild, thrashing, nearly-rabid hobbit, and threw him aside.
"Weeeed...you don't gots no weeeed? What THE HELL is this?" He picked up a little box. "VIAGRA?! ARAGORN!! THIS WAS IN YOUR PACK!!" Aragorn flushed a deep red and tried to retrieve the box. All of Arwen's ancestors promptly tried to kill him.
"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!" cried Aragorn. "You people are crazy!!!! ARWEN AND I ARE ENGAGED!!! ENGAGED!!!!!!!!!!! NOT PREGNANT, NOT HIGH, AND NOT HOBBIT MURDERERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JUST ENGAGED!!!!!" Boromir looked up, grinning. He threw a little box to Galadriel.
"CONDOMS????? YOU HAVE CONDOMS!!!! WHY, I'LL GET YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" She chased Aragorn around.
Boromir threw something else, from Arwen's pack, to Elrond. "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!!!!!!!!!???????" He held up a little, tiny, clear string bikini. It had three roses on it: one on heach breast, and one down...down there. "GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!! HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU WORN THIS?!?!?!?!?!" He chased his daughter around.
Legolas started to scream that the dust was ruining his hair.
Yes, unfortunately, this went on for quite a while. Finally, Arwen and Aragorn settled into their *separate* rooms. Of course, Aragorn abandoned his, and went to Arwen.
"What an awful day!" sighed Arwen. She looked over. "Look what I retrieved from grandmother!" She showed Aragorn the little box that had caused the trouble. He grinned, and they stripped all their clothes off, and went under.
"YOU JUST WAIT ONE SECOND THERE, YOU LITTLE LOVE COUPLE!!!!" Celeborn stood in the doorway. "YOU WILL NOT, WILL NOT FOOL AROUND BEFORE YOU GET MARRIED!!!!! NOT WITH MY GRANDDAUGHTER!!!! BACK TO YOUR ROOM!!" Aragorn sighed, and got up. And left for his room. He forgot his clothes. Laughter was heard, and a realizing shriek followed that.
----------
END!!!!!
For now, at least. You like? Please R&R!!!!!!!!