Is She Worth It? thought Aragorn-Chapter FIVE
Disclaimer: I. Own. Absolutely.....EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! Not.
A/N: Glad you all liked the MBFGW part, haha. I'll try to add a lot more funniness in this time. Thanks for all of the reviews!! Enjoi!!!!!!!
Haha, Merry is a chick magnet, lol!!! Well, he's cute, has red hair, and...oh yeah hes a hobbit! Everyone is a pervy-hobbit-fancier, even Aragorn!! (in private, of course)
(Fool_of_a_took: I was gonna do that...haha no I wasn't thanks for the idea!!)
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Chapter Five: Catfights, Rosie, and Realizations
Eowyn sat next to Merry, stroking his hair. Arwen scowled at her. Merry pushed Eowyn away and cried, "I can't take this anymore!! Leave me ALONE!!!" Eowyn sttod up.
"Yes, Well, I have just realized something," she began, "I only loved you because my real love-ARAGORN-deserted me for...YOU." Witht htat she jumped at Arwen.
[Big Cotton Puff shows up, and random legs, arms, and heads poke up. Little stars come shooting out. Little lightning bolts come out too. SOUND FX: MREOW!! HISSS!!!]
Arwen won the catfight, and Eowyn was banished forever from sight of Merry, Aragorn, or Arwen.
[Enter Rosie]
ROSIE: Oh, Merry, there you are!
SAM: Why, hello, Rosie!
ROSIE: Shut UP, Frodo-lover!!
FRODO: Now wait just there-
ROSIE: Shut UP FRODO!! You stole my husband away!
FRODO: I don't want your husband! He just.....just....FELL IN LOVE WITH ME!!
SAM: *Sigh* He's sooo cute when he's angry! *giggle*
MERRY: ???
GIMLI: Am I missing something? Sam's gay?
BOROMIR: [putting on spectacles and pulling out a 3-vol copy of the Lord of the Rings] Yes, apparently, but, actually, according to The Book, Sam marries Rosie and has kids. *Flips through book* And me? I'm.....I'M DEAD?!?!?!?! *Gasps for air*
ARAGORN: Uh, yeh...Uruk-hai kinda plugged ya up with arrows...
BOROMIR: Oh yeah....So...WHY am I alive??
ARWEN: Because this isn't the book or the movie. It's just a twisted Fic written by a twisted girl with a twisted sense of humor.
FELLOWSHIP OF THE HONEYMOON: Ooooh....
ARAGORN: Anyways, I brought a movie to watch!
GIMLI: What movie?
ARAGORN: Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring...Mwahahaha..
LEGOLAS: Ok then! Pop it in! [wheels in tv]
ARAGORN: [fishes around in bag] Hmm, my bag is full of videos! Ok, here it is!! [Holds up, light shining from the box]
Aragorn popped the tape into the VCR, and it started. Words on screen: "THE BIRDS AND THE BEES"
ARAGORN: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LEGOLAS: Hmm, not the Lord of the Rings, but if it is about nature and it's wonders, I guess it will be alright...
ARAGORN: {pale, eyes wide} Oh yeah. It sure is about nature's *miracles*! I'm gonna go make some popcorn...{walks away}
LEGOLAS: Oh yes~! Good show what, what?
MOVIE: {starts up, showing first the scene of two people...doing it} THIS...IS THE MIRACLE. THE MIRACLE OF LIFE.
AUDIENCE (excluding hobbits): AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ARAGORN: NO FRICKING WONDER! ARWEN! YOUR SCREWED UP GRANDMOTHER FILLED MY WHOLE PACK UP WITH THESE MOVIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ARWEN: [grabbing a piece of paper in Aragorn's hand] Dear Elessar, Hope you have time to review these tapes! ~Galadriel....GRR!!!!!!!
MOVIE: These are Bobby's sperm...They are kept inside his penis....
AUDIENCE(excluding hobbits): AAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!!!!!!!!! [runs away]
-----LatER-----
MERRY: WOW! That was a fun movie! But the girl...
PIPPIN: The girl seemed in pain! All the moaning and groaning....
FRODO: She seemed pleased though? But why....
SAM: Why did they show little tadpoles inside some long rounded thing?
ROSIE: And then the cylander-y thing going into a black hole................................?
EVERYONE ELSE: SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LEGOLAS: [smirking] I'll explain....[brings hobbits away] pssssst psssssst [hand motion to lower body. Hobbits stiffen] pssst, psst [makes motion, index finger & thumb make hole, other index finder goes through hole] pssssst...psst....SPRAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [hobbits jump] psst pssst..... And that's it! [walks them back]
EVERYONE: So, how was it?
HOBBITS: [pale, shakey].................!!!!!!!!!!!
SAM: Well, we learned....
EVERYONE ELSE: SHUT UP! WE ALREADY KNOW!!!!!!!
END FO NOW!
Haha, what do u think? Hobbits learn stuff, and people realized a lot. LOL!!!!!!!!! REVIEW!!!! PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE REVIEW!!!!! Actually I won't write more if u dun review! I kno u won't like that!
Disclaimer: I. Own. Absolutely.....EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! Not.
A/N: Glad you all liked the MBFGW part, haha. I'll try to add a lot more funniness in this time. Thanks for all of the reviews!! Enjoi!!!!!!!
Haha, Merry is a chick magnet, lol!!! Well, he's cute, has red hair, and...oh yeah hes a hobbit! Everyone is a pervy-hobbit-fancier, even Aragorn!! (in private, of course)
(Fool_of_a_took: I was gonna do that...haha no I wasn't thanks for the idea!!)
-------
Chapter Five: Catfights, Rosie, and Realizations
Eowyn sat next to Merry, stroking his hair. Arwen scowled at her. Merry pushed Eowyn away and cried, "I can't take this anymore!! Leave me ALONE!!!" Eowyn sttod up.
"Yes, Well, I have just realized something," she began, "I only loved you because my real love-ARAGORN-deserted me for...YOU." Witht htat she jumped at Arwen.
[Big Cotton Puff shows up, and random legs, arms, and heads poke up. Little stars come shooting out. Little lightning bolts come out too. SOUND FX: MREOW!! HISSS!!!]
Arwen won the catfight, and Eowyn was banished forever from sight of Merry, Aragorn, or Arwen.
[Enter Rosie]
ROSIE: Oh, Merry, there you are!
SAM: Why, hello, Rosie!
ROSIE: Shut UP, Frodo-lover!!
FRODO: Now wait just there-
ROSIE: Shut UP FRODO!! You stole my husband away!
FRODO: I don't want your husband! He just.....just....FELL IN LOVE WITH ME!!
SAM: *Sigh* He's sooo cute when he's angry! *giggle*
MERRY: ???
GIMLI: Am I missing something? Sam's gay?
BOROMIR: [putting on spectacles and pulling out a 3-vol copy of the Lord of the Rings] Yes, apparently, but, actually, according to The Book, Sam marries Rosie and has kids. *Flips through book* And me? I'm.....I'M DEAD?!?!?!?! *Gasps for air*
ARAGORN: Uh, yeh...Uruk-hai kinda plugged ya up with arrows...
BOROMIR: Oh yeah....So...WHY am I alive??
ARWEN: Because this isn't the book or the movie. It's just a twisted Fic written by a twisted girl with a twisted sense of humor.
FELLOWSHIP OF THE HONEYMOON: Ooooh....
ARAGORN: Anyways, I brought a movie to watch!
GIMLI: What movie?
ARAGORN: Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring...Mwahahaha..
LEGOLAS: Ok then! Pop it in! [wheels in tv]
ARAGORN: [fishes around in bag] Hmm, my bag is full of videos! Ok, here it is!! [Holds up, light shining from the box]
Aragorn popped the tape into the VCR, and it started. Words on screen: "THE BIRDS AND THE BEES"
ARAGORN: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LEGOLAS: Hmm, not the Lord of the Rings, but if it is about nature and it's wonders, I guess it will be alright...
ARAGORN: {pale, eyes wide} Oh yeah. It sure is about nature's *miracles*! I'm gonna go make some popcorn...{walks away}
LEGOLAS: Oh yes~! Good show what, what?
MOVIE: {starts up, showing first the scene of two people...doing it} THIS...IS THE MIRACLE. THE MIRACLE OF LIFE.
AUDIENCE (excluding hobbits): AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ARAGORN: NO FRICKING WONDER! ARWEN! YOUR SCREWED UP GRANDMOTHER FILLED MY WHOLE PACK UP WITH THESE MOVIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ARWEN: [grabbing a piece of paper in Aragorn's hand] Dear Elessar, Hope you have time to review these tapes! ~Galadriel....GRR!!!!!!!
MOVIE: These are Bobby's sperm...They are kept inside his penis....
AUDIENCE(excluding hobbits): AAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!!!!!!!!! [runs away]
-----LatER-----
MERRY: WOW! That was a fun movie! But the girl...
PIPPIN: The girl seemed in pain! All the moaning and groaning....
FRODO: She seemed pleased though? But why....
SAM: Why did they show little tadpoles inside some long rounded thing?
ROSIE: And then the cylander-y thing going into a black hole................................?
EVERYONE ELSE: SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LEGOLAS: [smirking] I'll explain....[brings hobbits away] pssssst psssssst [hand motion to lower body. Hobbits stiffen] pssst, psst [makes motion, index finger & thumb make hole, other index finder goes through hole] pssssst...psst....SPRAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [hobbits jump] psst pssst..... And that's it! [walks them back]
EVERYONE: So, how was it?
HOBBITS: [pale, shakey].................!!!!!!!!!!!
SAM: Well, we learned....
EVERYONE ELSE: SHUT UP! WE ALREADY KNOW!!!!!!!
END FO NOW!
Haha, what do u think? Hobbits learn stuff, and people realized a lot. LOL!!!!!!!!! REVIEW!!!! PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE REVIEW!!!!! Actually I won't write more if u dun review! I kno u won't like that!