I'm sorry for leaving you for like 1 ½ years. But my parents have no trust,
and invoked the so-called "Parental Controls", putting my "talent" to waste.
But I meant it when I said I would never ditch this story, and I have come
back(Just like Nostradamus predicted!). Thanks if you reviewed, you kept
me going. And one last note: Blue Eagle II is a jackass.
Disclaimer: You know who HP belongs to. Subway and Clay Henry song
belong to Subway, I guess. Eminem and Ludacris belong to themselves. If
you review, you have a choice of a cookie, or some Quaker Oatmeal.
Limited time offer. Check side panel for details.
Chapter 9-McGonagall's New Friends
… As a matter of fact, the crazy day was over. Now comes the
mystery part, where Harry, Ron, and Hermione overhear something and
then it happens.
While walking up the stairs, leaving the weirdest thing to ever
happen in the Great Hall (some weird things happen in the Astronomy
Tower, but that's not the point.), they reach the Fat Lady. She had gone
on the Subway diet, lost 9,670,000 lbs., and had a song made about her
that became even more popular than the "Clay Henry" one.
"Password?", she said.
"Uh…", Harry said, realizing that he didn't know the password yet, ev-
en though he had already been in Gryffindor Tower.
Out of nowhere, they heard voices coming down the hall. They
Were both extremely old voices, so Harry knew it was Dumbledore and
McGonagall.
"But could he have been in the castle, Albus?"
"No. Now shut up, or the clown nose will come out again."
They rounded the corner and were startled to see Harry, Ron,
and Hermione. Dumbledore face twisted in frustration.
"I told you to shut up! Now they've heard it, and they're going to go on
some 800 page adventure! Gaaaaaah!", Dumbledore shouted, beating
head with a tennis racket.
It was Hermione who spoke up.
"We don't know the password."
"Oh, well, it's 'I got yo' ass'." replied McGonagall as the trio did a double
take. "Now go get some sleep, I want you all to be focused for my sur-
prise tomorrow."
And they walked away down the hall, Dumbledore beating
himself with a golf club. Ron was scratching his head and his crotch at
the same time.
"I got yo' ass?" he spat out in utter confusion.
The portrait hole opened and they went in to the common
room, wondering why they couldn't live normal lives.
* * *
Like all the other books, Harry had a dream that night. And
he supposed it had some sort of meaning, but he couldn't see how. In
the dream, Ronald McDonald was dripping blood from his mouth. He
whispered, "Go to bed, Harry…" and shoved a hamburger down his
throat. Then Voldemort appeared, riding a hippo and singing Kumb-
aya. Finally,Dobby came around to tell Harry that he had changed his
name to Dooby. The world exploded and Harry awoke, and decided
that Dumbledore wasn't the only one whose mind was rotting.
* * *
Before the Gryffindors embarked on the dangerous journey to
the Great Hall, Harry checked his schedule, and realized that they had
Transfiguration first. Harry groaned, Ron swore, and Seamus died. But
life must go on, so they went to breakfast.When the owls came in, they
flew around in circles and hit each other over and over before they ev-
entually just delivered the letters to the garbage. It was later revealed
that Hagrid had invited all the owls for a drink at the pub, so they all
had violent hangovers.
* * *
The Gryffindors waited silently in the Transfiguration, not too
Excited about the "surprise". After five minutes, they became aware of
A hip-hop beat coming from somewhere behind McGonagall's desk.
Without warning, McGonagall popped out, wearing baggy clothes and
a bandana over her usual bun. She was rapping in her aging, croaky
voice, much to the displeasure of the students as they kissed what see-
med like the last normal class goodbye.
She finished her rap, and looked around the class, waiting for
a reaction. At long last, Hermione put her hand up.
"Miss Granger?"
"Professor," she piped up1 nervously, "what the fuck are you doing?"
A murmur went around the class. McGonagall frowned slightly,
but recovered.
"Starting the lesson, Miss Granger. Class, the time has come for us to
move on to Human Transfiguration. This is difficult and dangerous magic.
Here to help me are my two good friends.
Give a hand to Eminem and Ludacris!"
Two figures appeared out of nowhere and walked to stand on
either side of McGonagall. Within a few minutes, the lesson had started.
Each student was a given a singer or musical person of some sort, and
The task was to turn each into a rapper. By the end of the period, no one
had made any progress, or even tried. The bell was all too welcome.
"Divination next, that's always great fun." Remarked Ron as he caught
up with Harry outside. Just then, a high squeaky scream came from
around the corner, and the next second, something hit Harry in the face.
So what did ya think? Review! Good and Bad are welcome!
1.I just had to say 'piped up' sometime
Oh, Eminem and Ludacris will play a bigger role than you may think.
Hint: Something that didn't happen in the fourth book, but did in all the
others. Remember Snape's "incident"? You get to find out about that,
too, so keep the reviews coming-Suggestions, comments, death threats,
even if you want to be in the story like the Jew in Gryffindor
and invoked the so-called "Parental Controls", putting my "talent" to waste.
But I meant it when I said I would never ditch this story, and I have come
back(Just like Nostradamus predicted!). Thanks if you reviewed, you kept
me going. And one last note: Blue Eagle II is a jackass.
Disclaimer: You know who HP belongs to. Subway and Clay Henry song
belong to Subway, I guess. Eminem and Ludacris belong to themselves. If
you review, you have a choice of a cookie, or some Quaker Oatmeal.
Limited time offer. Check side panel for details.
Chapter 9-McGonagall's New Friends
… As a matter of fact, the crazy day was over. Now comes the
mystery part, where Harry, Ron, and Hermione overhear something and
then it happens.
While walking up the stairs, leaving the weirdest thing to ever
happen in the Great Hall (some weird things happen in the Astronomy
Tower, but that's not the point.), they reach the Fat Lady. She had gone
on the Subway diet, lost 9,670,000 lbs., and had a song made about her
that became even more popular than the "Clay Henry" one.
"Password?", she said.
"Uh…", Harry said, realizing that he didn't know the password yet, ev-
en though he had already been in Gryffindor Tower.
Out of nowhere, they heard voices coming down the hall. They
Were both extremely old voices, so Harry knew it was Dumbledore and
McGonagall.
"But could he have been in the castle, Albus?"
"No. Now shut up, or the clown nose will come out again."
They rounded the corner and were startled to see Harry, Ron,
and Hermione. Dumbledore face twisted in frustration.
"I told you to shut up! Now they've heard it, and they're going to go on
some 800 page adventure! Gaaaaaah!", Dumbledore shouted, beating
head with a tennis racket.
It was Hermione who spoke up.
"We don't know the password."
"Oh, well, it's 'I got yo' ass'." replied McGonagall as the trio did a double
take. "Now go get some sleep, I want you all to be focused for my sur-
prise tomorrow."
And they walked away down the hall, Dumbledore beating
himself with a golf club. Ron was scratching his head and his crotch at
the same time.
"I got yo' ass?" he spat out in utter confusion.
The portrait hole opened and they went in to the common
room, wondering why they couldn't live normal lives.
* * *
Like all the other books, Harry had a dream that night. And
he supposed it had some sort of meaning, but he couldn't see how. In
the dream, Ronald McDonald was dripping blood from his mouth. He
whispered, "Go to bed, Harry…" and shoved a hamburger down his
throat. Then Voldemort appeared, riding a hippo and singing Kumb-
aya. Finally,Dobby came around to tell Harry that he had changed his
name to Dooby. The world exploded and Harry awoke, and decided
that Dumbledore wasn't the only one whose mind was rotting.
* * *
Before the Gryffindors embarked on the dangerous journey to
the Great Hall, Harry checked his schedule, and realized that they had
Transfiguration first. Harry groaned, Ron swore, and Seamus died. But
life must go on, so they went to breakfast.When the owls came in, they
flew around in circles and hit each other over and over before they ev-
entually just delivered the letters to the garbage. It was later revealed
that Hagrid had invited all the owls for a drink at the pub, so they all
had violent hangovers.
* * *
The Gryffindors waited silently in the Transfiguration, not too
Excited about the "surprise". After five minutes, they became aware of
A hip-hop beat coming from somewhere behind McGonagall's desk.
Without warning, McGonagall popped out, wearing baggy clothes and
a bandana over her usual bun. She was rapping in her aging, croaky
voice, much to the displeasure of the students as they kissed what see-
med like the last normal class goodbye.
She finished her rap, and looked around the class, waiting for
a reaction. At long last, Hermione put her hand up.
"Miss Granger?"
"Professor," she piped up1 nervously, "what the fuck are you doing?"
A murmur went around the class. McGonagall frowned slightly,
but recovered.
"Starting the lesson, Miss Granger. Class, the time has come for us to
move on to Human Transfiguration. This is difficult and dangerous magic.
Here to help me are my two good friends.
Give a hand to Eminem and Ludacris!"
Two figures appeared out of nowhere and walked to stand on
either side of McGonagall. Within a few minutes, the lesson had started.
Each student was a given a singer or musical person of some sort, and
The task was to turn each into a rapper. By the end of the period, no one
had made any progress, or even tried. The bell was all too welcome.
"Divination next, that's always great fun." Remarked Ron as he caught
up with Harry outside. Just then, a high squeaky scream came from
around the corner, and the next second, something hit Harry in the face.
So what did ya think? Review! Good and Bad are welcome!
1.I just had to say 'piped up' sometime
Oh, Eminem and Ludacris will play a bigger role than you may think.
Hint: Something that didn't happen in the fourth book, but did in all the
others. Remember Snape's "incident"? You get to find out about that,
too, so keep the reviews coming-Suggestions, comments, death threats,
even if you want to be in the story like the Jew in Gryffindor