OK-2 notes
1. REM stands for Rapid Eye Movement, the stage of sleep in which you
have dreams. Just wanted to clear that up.
2. I have been looking ahead, and I plan to write a parody of the 6th and
7th as well. I already know what the names will be, and I have a DADA
teacher picked out for Number 6. Let's just say, that with him, it should
get … interesting. Now for what I'm focused on right now:
Chapter 10- The New Keeper
Harry's face was numb with pain. He fell to the floor and wrapped
his hands around his face.
"VOLDEMORT!" he screamed.
The whole castle shook with fear. No, really, it did. That day was
the bloodiest day for paintings in the history of the school.
"Nonsense, boy!" came a squeaky voice in front of Harry.
Harry opened his eyes. To his surprise, he saw Professor Flitwick
standing there, his robes wildly askew. Dumbledore came around the corner
wearing a very large boot that was-you guessed it-pink.
"The professor and I were just playing a friendly game of midget-tossing,"
Dumbledore explained, "when he bet me that the famous Harry Potter was
impervious to attack from them. Apparently he is wrong. 600 galleons to
me! Doo da da! Doo dee dee!"
"It was six, you cheating bastard!" spat Flitwick, and chased Dumbledore
down the hall. It was a pitiful sight.
* * *
Divination was pretty boring, as it always was. It seemed that
Professor Trelawney was the only teacher who had not undergone a
drastic change. She came in, said Harry was going to die an extremely
horrible death involving ninjas, told Parvati to beware a bowl of chicken
soup, Neville puked, Ron found thirty-six ways to use the words "Lavender"
and "whore" in the same sentence, and Mickey Mouse showed up in the
middle of the lesson. He was promptly thrown out the window. Yep, pretty
normal.
* * *
The next morning, Seamus woke up first. Why? What do you care?
Anyway, his eyes fell on a strange sight. All the hangings were open, and
Harry was floating a few inches off the bed, still covered in his sheets.
"Huh?" he (Seamus) said, half-asleep.
The rest of the dorm woke, because that's what I want to
happen. So it did.
"Harry, you're levitating." Seamus said, followed by a yawn.
"No, I'm not." Came Harry's reply.
At that point, Seamus realized what was going on. It was by no
means levitation. Harry had obviously had a very happy dream. A wide
smile spread across Seamus's face.
"Oh, for when the Boy who Lived became a man." he said.
"Shut up, Seamus." Harry said irritably.
Harry yawned, got out of bed, and put on some jeans. He had to be
down on the Quidditch field today, it was the first practice, and they
had to get a keeper.
Ron, Dean, Seamus, and Neville decided to come too,
because they all agreed there's nothin' like the smell of the piss-dowsed
locker room in the mornin'.
When Harry reached the locker room, all the team was there
already. Angelina, Alicia, and Katie were just sitting there, because,
frankly I don't what to do with them. Fred had a sock on his head,
and George was conversing with the sink.
"All right, team," Harry said. He was the self-elected captain,
seeing as how he had a thing on his head and they didn't.
"We must find a new keeper. I thought we could-"he began, but was cut
off.
"There's a guy in the room next door," Alicia said, pointing to a
door., "He wants to try out."
"Alright," Harry replied, marveling that someone cared, "send him
in."
Right at the end of that sentence, Lee Jordan's voice came
over the loudspeaker.
"May I have your attention please," he said, "Will the new Gryffindor
Keeper please stand up? I repeat, will the new Keeper please stand up?"
The door at the end of the locker room flung open, and who
should pop out but Eminem, wearing Quidditch robes and a rag on his head.
He started singing immediately.
"Hey, I'm the Keeper, yes I'm the new Keeper, all you other new keepers,
your brooms are much cheaper, so would the real new Keeper please
stand up, please stand up, please stand up?"
Harry couldn't believe this was happening. It was like falling
into a nightmare. He'd have taken Voldemort on a hippo any day.
"Who are YOU?" asked Angelina Johnson.
"Hi! My name is-" Eminem rapped as an answer
"Huh?" said Fred.
"My name is-"
"Who?" said George.
"My name is- [record scratches] Slim Shady!"
"Well, Mr. -er- Shady," Harry broke the silence after about a minute, "do
you have a broom?"
Eminem reached behind his back and pulled out his broom. The
name read 'Shooting Shady', and there was a backwards 'E' on the handle.
* * *
Practice was completely pointless, mainly because Eminem spent
half an hour on a rap about the Quaffle, and kept referring to all the girls
as 'bitch'. When practice was over, and everyone went back to the tower,
Harry pulled out that knife that Sirius gave him, and wondered why he didn't
just end it right there. Then he made up his mind that it would probably be
better to just go to breakfast.
Well, Eminem was more than he seemed, I already told you that. So be
good little children and review my story!
1. REM stands for Rapid Eye Movement, the stage of sleep in which you
have dreams. Just wanted to clear that up.
2. I have been looking ahead, and I plan to write a parody of the 6th and
7th as well. I already know what the names will be, and I have a DADA
teacher picked out for Number 6. Let's just say, that with him, it should
get … interesting. Now for what I'm focused on right now:
Chapter 10- The New Keeper
Harry's face was numb with pain. He fell to the floor and wrapped
his hands around his face.
"VOLDEMORT!" he screamed.
The whole castle shook with fear. No, really, it did. That day was
the bloodiest day for paintings in the history of the school.
"Nonsense, boy!" came a squeaky voice in front of Harry.
Harry opened his eyes. To his surprise, he saw Professor Flitwick
standing there, his robes wildly askew. Dumbledore came around the corner
wearing a very large boot that was-you guessed it-pink.
"The professor and I were just playing a friendly game of midget-tossing,"
Dumbledore explained, "when he bet me that the famous Harry Potter was
impervious to attack from them. Apparently he is wrong. 600 galleons to
me! Doo da da! Doo dee dee!"
"It was six, you cheating bastard!" spat Flitwick, and chased Dumbledore
down the hall. It was a pitiful sight.
* * *
Divination was pretty boring, as it always was. It seemed that
Professor Trelawney was the only teacher who had not undergone a
drastic change. She came in, said Harry was going to die an extremely
horrible death involving ninjas, told Parvati to beware a bowl of chicken
soup, Neville puked, Ron found thirty-six ways to use the words "Lavender"
and "whore" in the same sentence, and Mickey Mouse showed up in the
middle of the lesson. He was promptly thrown out the window. Yep, pretty
normal.
* * *
The next morning, Seamus woke up first. Why? What do you care?
Anyway, his eyes fell on a strange sight. All the hangings were open, and
Harry was floating a few inches off the bed, still covered in his sheets.
"Huh?" he (Seamus) said, half-asleep.
The rest of the dorm woke, because that's what I want to
happen. So it did.
"Harry, you're levitating." Seamus said, followed by a yawn.
"No, I'm not." Came Harry's reply.
At that point, Seamus realized what was going on. It was by no
means levitation. Harry had obviously had a very happy dream. A wide
smile spread across Seamus's face.
"Oh, for when the Boy who Lived became a man." he said.
"Shut up, Seamus." Harry said irritably.
Harry yawned, got out of bed, and put on some jeans. He had to be
down on the Quidditch field today, it was the first practice, and they
had to get a keeper.
Ron, Dean, Seamus, and Neville decided to come too,
because they all agreed there's nothin' like the smell of the piss-dowsed
locker room in the mornin'.
When Harry reached the locker room, all the team was there
already. Angelina, Alicia, and Katie were just sitting there, because,
frankly I don't what to do with them. Fred had a sock on his head,
and George was conversing with the sink.
"All right, team," Harry said. He was the self-elected captain,
seeing as how he had a thing on his head and they didn't.
"We must find a new keeper. I thought we could-"he began, but was cut
off.
"There's a guy in the room next door," Alicia said, pointing to a
door., "He wants to try out."
"Alright," Harry replied, marveling that someone cared, "send him
in."
Right at the end of that sentence, Lee Jordan's voice came
over the loudspeaker.
"May I have your attention please," he said, "Will the new Gryffindor
Keeper please stand up? I repeat, will the new Keeper please stand up?"
The door at the end of the locker room flung open, and who
should pop out but Eminem, wearing Quidditch robes and a rag on his head.
He started singing immediately.
"Hey, I'm the Keeper, yes I'm the new Keeper, all you other new keepers,
your brooms are much cheaper, so would the real new Keeper please
stand up, please stand up, please stand up?"
Harry couldn't believe this was happening. It was like falling
into a nightmare. He'd have taken Voldemort on a hippo any day.
"Who are YOU?" asked Angelina Johnson.
"Hi! My name is-" Eminem rapped as an answer
"Huh?" said Fred.
"My name is-"
"Who?" said George.
"My name is- [record scratches] Slim Shady!"
"Well, Mr. -er- Shady," Harry broke the silence after about a minute, "do
you have a broom?"
Eminem reached behind his back and pulled out his broom. The
name read 'Shooting Shady', and there was a backwards 'E' on the handle.
* * *
Practice was completely pointless, mainly because Eminem spent
half an hour on a rap about the Quaffle, and kept referring to all the girls
as 'bitch'. When practice was over, and everyone went back to the tower,
Harry pulled out that knife that Sirius gave him, and wondered why he didn't
just end it right there. Then he made up his mind that it would probably be
better to just go to breakfast.
Well, Eminem was more than he seemed, I already told you that. So be
good little children and review my story!