Starcraft Parody by Alex
(Three ships floating in space looking for something for no particular reason)
Guy in ship 1: Woo! We're gonna take dem richies!!! Yee hee, hee, hee, hee (Starts dancing around)
Guy in ship 2: What?! You said we came for McDonalds!
Guy in ship 3: I have to pee pee!!!
Guy 1: umm... I never said that
Guy 2: And we were supposed to go to the ballet.
Guy 3: I told you. "Hop on Pop: the Musical" is retarded.
Guy 1: Shaddap... here comes the planet now
Guy 2: Help, my fingers stuck up my ass!
Guy 1: ...
Guy 3: ooh lookey! We can fly in space!
Guy 2: we've been doing that for 5 goddamn years!!!
(Ship looks over horizon)
Ship pilot: Ha Ha! Look at the bumper sticker! Ha ha ha ha! I mean, uh DEATH!!!
Guy 1:*high* *ship begins to shake* hey those guy's are doing killing us for some reason*explodes*
Guy 2: That makes no sense. They don't even do anything later. *Explodes*
Guy 3: I'm out of pants...*explodes*
(End of Introduction)
Magistrate: *Listening to MP3* Oh Danny Boy!!! Something, something, something!
Duke: ... *holding bottle* so then I say's to him "Hey! You like porta- potty?" Get it? Ha ha ha ha. *Laughs, coughs, chokes, barfs, coma, wakes up* Whoa I had too much vodka...
Random Technology Guy: Sir that was laundry detergent.
Duke: Alls I knows is that it was the greatest moment of my... *falls asleep*
Magistrate: General! You called sir?
Duke: Yes I did ya stupid bellboy! Where's my luggage? *Falls over sobbing* it's not coming is it? *Sobs some more*
Magistrate: Um... sure. Anyway, I came because you demanded you see me sir!!!
Duke: Yes, I did! Please ya gotta help me!!! I can't stop it!!!
Magistrate: What's that sir?
Duke: SNIFFING CATS!!! *pulls out Siamese* *inhales deeply*
Magistrate: Right...
Duke: Go to the planet and meet up with Jim whats-his-na... *barfs* Ooh! *shoves in pants* this is going straight to the shrine!
Magistrate: *runs away*
(On the planet, Magistrate meets up with some marines)
Magistrate: Yo Yo whassup dogs?
Marines: *stare blankly*
Marine 1: *turns to group* Guys, we aren't high enough. *Sniffs glowstick*
Marine 2: Hey, isn't that a... ooh! Gameboy! *Starts playing*
Marine 3: Dude, weak... My buns are cold. Now I'll never get to win the big wienie award
SCV 1: WTF? Magistrate: Um... On to the Command Center!
Marine 1: Do it yourself biatch!
Magistrate: They have pie!
Troops: Yay!
(As soon as the troops running into some trees, they got going)
Marine 3: So, how'd you get such a crappy job?
SCV 1: Because I'm #$%& BLACK!!!
Marine 3: ...
Magistrate: Right over the next hill men!
SCV 2: You say that so much it loses its meaning
(Out of nowhere zerglings pop up)
Zergling: RAHH!!!
Marine 1: *Still high* Hey, look at duh cute wittle doggy. *Gets balls chopped off* Owee!
Marine 2: NOOO!!! *Shoots Zergling!* I loved him... *starts crying* Now we can't have kids...
Magistrate: ...?
SCV: Ooooooookay.
(Everyone resumes fighting)
Magistrate: Ha ha ha!!! Eat lead ya dirty bitch!
Zergling: *Pulls out tea cup and talks in English accent* Aye, good chap, I believe that foul language is indubitably unnecessary so if you could halt yourself before saying such things again, we would deeply appreciate it. Cheerio! *walks away*
Marine: Brits.
(Soon the troops arrive at the Center)
Magistrate: I told ya we would get here.
Marine 3: But you said we wouldn't get hurt as long as we filled our guns with butter.
Magistrate: I never said that.
SCV 2: Sure you did. It was when *anvil falls on head* oof!
Magistrate: That shut him up. Hey, where's Jim Raynor?
Marine dressed in Santa Claus outfit: Ho, ho, ho, there's weed for everyone!!!
Magistrate: No, not yet we... *gets tackled by troops*.
Marines: Yay!!!
Magistrate: *Brushes squirrels off his shirt* what was that for?
Marine in Santa suit: ha, ha! *rips off suit* I'm really your father!!!
Magistrate: No your not.
Marine formally in Santa suit: Oh. HOW ABOUT THIS?! *rips off suit again*
Magistrate: No, your just Jim Raynor a... Hey, you're the guy I was looking for.
Jim: *Shifts eyes* Right, what you said. *kicks over dumpster*.
(Three ships floating in space looking for something for no particular reason)
Guy in ship 1: Woo! We're gonna take dem richies!!! Yee hee, hee, hee, hee (Starts dancing around)
Guy in ship 2: What?! You said we came for McDonalds!
Guy in ship 3: I have to pee pee!!!
Guy 1: umm... I never said that
Guy 2: And we were supposed to go to the ballet.
Guy 3: I told you. "Hop on Pop: the Musical" is retarded.
Guy 1: Shaddap... here comes the planet now
Guy 2: Help, my fingers stuck up my ass!
Guy 1: ...
Guy 3: ooh lookey! We can fly in space!
Guy 2: we've been doing that for 5 goddamn years!!!
(Ship looks over horizon)
Ship pilot: Ha Ha! Look at the bumper sticker! Ha ha ha ha! I mean, uh DEATH!!!
Guy 1:*high* *ship begins to shake* hey those guy's are doing killing us for some reason*explodes*
Guy 2: That makes no sense. They don't even do anything later. *Explodes*
Guy 3: I'm out of pants...*explodes*
(End of Introduction)
Magistrate: *Listening to MP3* Oh Danny Boy!!! Something, something, something!
Duke: ... *holding bottle* so then I say's to him "Hey! You like porta- potty?" Get it? Ha ha ha ha. *Laughs, coughs, chokes, barfs, coma, wakes up* Whoa I had too much vodka...
Random Technology Guy: Sir that was laundry detergent.
Duke: Alls I knows is that it was the greatest moment of my... *falls asleep*
Magistrate: General! You called sir?
Duke: Yes I did ya stupid bellboy! Where's my luggage? *Falls over sobbing* it's not coming is it? *Sobs some more*
Magistrate: Um... sure. Anyway, I came because you demanded you see me sir!!!
Duke: Yes, I did! Please ya gotta help me!!! I can't stop it!!!
Magistrate: What's that sir?
Duke: SNIFFING CATS!!! *pulls out Siamese* *inhales deeply*
Magistrate: Right...
Duke: Go to the planet and meet up with Jim whats-his-na... *barfs* Ooh! *shoves in pants* this is going straight to the shrine!
Magistrate: *runs away*
(On the planet, Magistrate meets up with some marines)
Magistrate: Yo Yo whassup dogs?
Marines: *stare blankly*
Marine 1: *turns to group* Guys, we aren't high enough. *Sniffs glowstick*
Marine 2: Hey, isn't that a... ooh! Gameboy! *Starts playing*
Marine 3: Dude, weak... My buns are cold. Now I'll never get to win the big wienie award
SCV 1: WTF? Magistrate: Um... On to the Command Center!
Marine 1: Do it yourself biatch!
Magistrate: They have pie!
Troops: Yay!
(As soon as the troops running into some trees, they got going)
Marine 3: So, how'd you get such a crappy job?
SCV 1: Because I'm #$%& BLACK!!!
Marine 3: ...
Magistrate: Right over the next hill men!
SCV 2: You say that so much it loses its meaning
(Out of nowhere zerglings pop up)
Zergling: RAHH!!!
Marine 1: *Still high* Hey, look at duh cute wittle doggy. *Gets balls chopped off* Owee!
Marine 2: NOOO!!! *Shoots Zergling!* I loved him... *starts crying* Now we can't have kids...
Magistrate: ...?
SCV: Ooooooookay.
(Everyone resumes fighting)
Magistrate: Ha ha ha!!! Eat lead ya dirty bitch!
Zergling: *Pulls out tea cup and talks in English accent* Aye, good chap, I believe that foul language is indubitably unnecessary so if you could halt yourself before saying such things again, we would deeply appreciate it. Cheerio! *walks away*
Marine: Brits.
(Soon the troops arrive at the Center)
Magistrate: I told ya we would get here.
Marine 3: But you said we wouldn't get hurt as long as we filled our guns with butter.
Magistrate: I never said that.
SCV 2: Sure you did. It was when *anvil falls on head* oof!
Magistrate: That shut him up. Hey, where's Jim Raynor?
Marine dressed in Santa Claus outfit: Ho, ho, ho, there's weed for everyone!!!
Magistrate: No, not yet we... *gets tackled by troops*.
Marines: Yay!!!
Magistrate: *Brushes squirrels off his shirt* what was that for?
Marine in Santa suit: ha, ha! *rips off suit* I'm really your father!!!
Magistrate: No your not.
Marine formally in Santa suit: Oh. HOW ABOUT THIS?! *rips off suit again*
Magistrate: No, your just Jim Raynor a... Hey, you're the guy I was looking for.
Jim: *Shifts eyes* Right, what you said. *kicks over dumpster*.