Monty: Alright everybody, this is the third revision of the StarCraft
parody!
Alex: Yeah, this is the best!
Monty: THIS IS MY STORY SO SHUT UP!!!!!
Alex: *to himself* Bizatch...
(This is going to be different. This is an alternate way of the destruction of the infested command center. The real thing is when I started writing this I thought the characters hadn't left backwater. Anyways I wrote too much to go back and edit it so here it is. Enjoy.)
(As we last left our heroes they defeated the Zerg at backwater station).
(To increase our Simpsons usage, we are going to call all the marines the names that Bart asked for prank calling Moe)
Seymour Asses: Yeah, eat that you stupid Zerg! *Turns to Firebat* can I have some of that weed now please?
Firebat: All right, you can have some *Tosses weed*
Seymour Asses: Great! Can I have a lighter?
Firebat: Heh, do you think we just give our weed away to a marine? Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!!!!
Seymour Asses: Ahhh *pouts* *grabs regular weed* *shoots to light it* *blows hand off in outcome* *screams from loss of hand* *gets high* *forgets the loss of hand*
Jim: *high, remember? * Now let's go get that Zerg base thing!
Magistrate: *not high, sad isn't it? * Yeah ... Let's get them!!!
Marines & Firebats: YEEAAAHHHHH!!!!!
(A few hours later while traveling to the Zerg base thing...)
Al Cahalic: OOW, look at that thing! It's taken over the Command Center *looks at Infested Command Center*
Jim: Everyone attack the Zerg, the Magistrate and I will get the infested thing!
Marines & Firebats: YYYEEEAAAAHHHHH!!!!
Zerg forces: EEEEEEEEKKKKKKK!!!
(With a good hour of screaming contests and getting high, the battle finally starts)
Jim: Let's get it from the bottom! *Fires fragment grenades at it* *hey, if they are fragment, how do they work*
Hydralisk: *Russian accent remember?* Come comrades! Let us defeat these vile capitalist dogs!
Other Hydralisks: DA!!!!!!!
Firebats: Yo, they think they can make us feel like we have bad democratic.. negotiation type uh... I suck at politics.
Seymour Asses: Yo Jimmy, use those spidey sensey thingy on your tricycle thing!
Jim: Dude I'm not that high in fact I... Hey Mr. Pinky, my brother!
Zerglings: *to each other* Hm, I do believe those people have gone unfortunately insane... EEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKK!
Al Cahalic: You commie pigs! You killed my granny! *to himself* and her pie..that was a good pie...=(
Magistrate: Ha ha ha you stupid British commie guys will never triumph to the power of Jebus!!!
Hydralisk: Oh ya well your *gets head blown up*
Jim: Hey man, they're all dead. Bye Mr. Pinky!
Mr. Pinky: Bye...bitch
(For all of you that don't know, Mr. Pinky is a giant pink elephant and smokes a lot and hires male prostitutes)
Magistrate: All right you two marines, Jacques Strap and I.P. Freely, go into the infested thing and destroy it!!!
Jacques and I.P: YEAAAAHHHHHH!
(a few hours later they come out only they're infested by the Zerg)
Jim: Hey you two didn't kill the big loogey building!
Infested Jacques: aslkdfjasdhfashdfkasdfadd Ha ha ha ha * fires machine gun*
Infested I.P: sdfgkljjl;$#5g! *fires*
Magistrate: NO! Don't shoot, they're our troops! GIVE THEM WEED!!!
Jim: *throws weed* bye bye!
Infested marines: WEED! *infested stuff goes away*
Jacques Strap: Whoa, thanks, I thought I'd be a commy forever.
I.P Freely: But weed brought us back...
Jim: WEED!
Commercial Guy: Weed, it makes you happy SO DON'T QUIT DAMMIT!
Surgeon Generals Warning: You all suck ya bitches
Firebats: Kill the thing!!! *Set it on fire*
Magistrate: Fire and stuff
Seymour Asses: Attack...
*Building explodes*
Jim: So... how do we get home?
Magistrate: I 'unno. Internet?
Jim: I know how to figure out how to get home!
(10 minutes later)
Seymour Asses: Let's go to the pool today!
I.P. Freely: I'm 'gonna go take a shower!
(A good 25 minutes of this went by until a small figure approached out of the mountains. He was a strong daring man to help solve all their problems...)
Towley: Don't forget to bring a towel
Terrens: We will Towley
Towley: You guys want to get high?
Jim: I've always wanted to say this *clear throat* NO TOWLEY WE DON'T WANT TO GET HI...
(Jim was grabbed and pushed down to the ground by all the Terren troops including the magistrate, with a hand over his mouth)
Amanda Hugenkiss: No Towley, we do want to get high, we do!
Towley: Hot damn!
(A few hours after getting high)
Seymour Asses: *looking at fingers* they call 'em fingers but I never see 'em fing. Oh, there they go!
I.P.F.: Dudes, we have to figure out how to get to the next level, I forgot all about it.
Magistrate: I don't remember, just let me get high, I know I'll remember after that!
Jim: Alright, alright *hands over lighter and cig*
Magistrate: *gets high*
(Cheap version of pop-eye music)
(30.281 seconds later...)
Amanda Hugenkiss: Well... Do you remember now?
Magistrate: Remember what?
Terren Troops: AAAHHH *tackle the magistrate*
Magistrate: OOOWWWIIIEEESSS!
Jime: Dude, stop misspelling my name!!
Monty: Oh, sorry Jime...HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH!!!
Jime: ^ ^
Monty: ... Fine
Jim: YAY!!!
Jim: Anyways, I remember how we get to the next level, General Duke comes and arrests us for destroying his command center.
Troops: Oh... RRRUUNNN!!!!! *Run away*
Magistrate: Get back here! You damn stoners
(Suddenly a giant space ship comes out of the sky and lands on four of the troops)
The four troops: OOOOWWWWIIIEEEESSSS!!!!!
(General Duke comes outside, drunk as usual)
Duke: Dudes, you are under arrest for destroying a valuable Confederate Chicken!!
(The General's tactical officer comes out, not drunk)
Tactical Dude: No sir that's a Confederate Outpost
Duke: Oh, thanks for telling me Dude
Tactical Dude: Not a problem sir
Duke: Wants some Tylenol?
Tactical Dude: No...
Duke: THAT'S AN ORDER SARGENT!
Tactical Dude: Alright sir, I'll have some
Duke: YOUR NOT THE BOSS OF ME!!! *Barfs*
Duke: OOOWWW Barf *eats Barf*
(Everyone else stares)
Seymour Asses: Dude, even I'm not high enough to eat my own barf!
I.P. Freely: I am! *runs over and eats barf* *barfs* *eats barf again*
Well the General Arrests them and they meet up with Emperor Mensgk who ends up helping them. Then he sends Jim's newly found girlfriend into a suicide mission who then gets captured by the Zerg and gets infested. The next episode will be Jime (hehehehehehehehehehe) and his men will try to escape Mensgk and Duke (who joined Mensgk).
Alex: Yeah, this is the best!
Monty: THIS IS MY STORY SO SHUT UP!!!!!
Alex: *to himself* Bizatch...
(This is going to be different. This is an alternate way of the destruction of the infested command center. The real thing is when I started writing this I thought the characters hadn't left backwater. Anyways I wrote too much to go back and edit it so here it is. Enjoy.)
(As we last left our heroes they defeated the Zerg at backwater station).
(To increase our Simpsons usage, we are going to call all the marines the names that Bart asked for prank calling Moe)
Seymour Asses: Yeah, eat that you stupid Zerg! *Turns to Firebat* can I have some of that weed now please?
Firebat: All right, you can have some *Tosses weed*
Seymour Asses: Great! Can I have a lighter?
Firebat: Heh, do you think we just give our weed away to a marine? Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!!!!
Seymour Asses: Ahhh *pouts* *grabs regular weed* *shoots to light it* *blows hand off in outcome* *screams from loss of hand* *gets high* *forgets the loss of hand*
Jim: *high, remember? * Now let's go get that Zerg base thing!
Magistrate: *not high, sad isn't it? * Yeah ... Let's get them!!!
Marines & Firebats: YEEAAAHHHHH!!!!!
(A few hours later while traveling to the Zerg base thing...)
Al Cahalic: OOW, look at that thing! It's taken over the Command Center *looks at Infested Command Center*
Jim: Everyone attack the Zerg, the Magistrate and I will get the infested thing!
Marines & Firebats: YYYEEEAAAAHHHHH!!!!
Zerg forces: EEEEEEEEKKKKKKK!!!
(With a good hour of screaming contests and getting high, the battle finally starts)
Jim: Let's get it from the bottom! *Fires fragment grenades at it* *hey, if they are fragment, how do they work*
Hydralisk: *Russian accent remember?* Come comrades! Let us defeat these vile capitalist dogs!
Other Hydralisks: DA!!!!!!!
Firebats: Yo, they think they can make us feel like we have bad democratic.. negotiation type uh... I suck at politics.
Seymour Asses: Yo Jimmy, use those spidey sensey thingy on your tricycle thing!
Jim: Dude I'm not that high in fact I... Hey Mr. Pinky, my brother!
Zerglings: *to each other* Hm, I do believe those people have gone unfortunately insane... EEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKK!
Al Cahalic: You commie pigs! You killed my granny! *to himself* and her pie..that was a good pie...=(
Magistrate: Ha ha ha you stupid British commie guys will never triumph to the power of Jebus!!!
Hydralisk: Oh ya well your *gets head blown up*
Jim: Hey man, they're all dead. Bye Mr. Pinky!
Mr. Pinky: Bye...bitch
(For all of you that don't know, Mr. Pinky is a giant pink elephant and smokes a lot and hires male prostitutes)
Magistrate: All right you two marines, Jacques Strap and I.P. Freely, go into the infested thing and destroy it!!!
Jacques and I.P: YEAAAAHHHHHH!
(a few hours later they come out only they're infested by the Zerg)
Jim: Hey you two didn't kill the big loogey building!
Infested Jacques: aslkdfjasdhfashdfkasdfadd Ha ha ha ha * fires machine gun*
Infested I.P: sdfgkljjl;$#5g! *fires*
Magistrate: NO! Don't shoot, they're our troops! GIVE THEM WEED!!!
Jim: *throws weed* bye bye!
Infested marines: WEED! *infested stuff goes away*
Jacques Strap: Whoa, thanks, I thought I'd be a commy forever.
I.P Freely: But weed brought us back...
Jim: WEED!
Commercial Guy: Weed, it makes you happy SO DON'T QUIT DAMMIT!
Surgeon Generals Warning: You all suck ya bitches
Firebats: Kill the thing!!! *Set it on fire*
Magistrate: Fire and stuff
Seymour Asses: Attack...
*Building explodes*
Jim: So... how do we get home?
Magistrate: I 'unno. Internet?
Jim: I know how to figure out how to get home!
(10 minutes later)
Seymour Asses: Let's go to the pool today!
I.P. Freely: I'm 'gonna go take a shower!
(A good 25 minutes of this went by until a small figure approached out of the mountains. He was a strong daring man to help solve all their problems...)
Towley: Don't forget to bring a towel
Terrens: We will Towley
Towley: You guys want to get high?
Jim: I've always wanted to say this *clear throat* NO TOWLEY WE DON'T WANT TO GET HI...
(Jim was grabbed and pushed down to the ground by all the Terren troops including the magistrate, with a hand over his mouth)
Amanda Hugenkiss: No Towley, we do want to get high, we do!
Towley: Hot damn!
(A few hours after getting high)
Seymour Asses: *looking at fingers* they call 'em fingers but I never see 'em fing. Oh, there they go!
I.P.F.: Dudes, we have to figure out how to get to the next level, I forgot all about it.
Magistrate: I don't remember, just let me get high, I know I'll remember after that!
Jim: Alright, alright *hands over lighter and cig*
Magistrate: *gets high*
(Cheap version of pop-eye music)
(30.281 seconds later...)
Amanda Hugenkiss: Well... Do you remember now?
Magistrate: Remember what?
Terren Troops: AAAHHH *tackle the magistrate*
Magistrate: OOOWWWIIIEEESSS!
Jime: Dude, stop misspelling my name!!
Monty: Oh, sorry Jime...HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH!!!
Jime: ^ ^
Monty: ... Fine
Jim: YAY!!!
Jim: Anyways, I remember how we get to the next level, General Duke comes and arrests us for destroying his command center.
Troops: Oh... RRRUUNNN!!!!! *Run away*
Magistrate: Get back here! You damn stoners
(Suddenly a giant space ship comes out of the sky and lands on four of the troops)
The four troops: OOOOWWWWIIIEEEESSSS!!!!!
(General Duke comes outside, drunk as usual)
Duke: Dudes, you are under arrest for destroying a valuable Confederate Chicken!!
(The General's tactical officer comes out, not drunk)
Tactical Dude: No sir that's a Confederate Outpost
Duke: Oh, thanks for telling me Dude
Tactical Dude: Not a problem sir
Duke: Wants some Tylenol?
Tactical Dude: No...
Duke: THAT'S AN ORDER SARGENT!
Tactical Dude: Alright sir, I'll have some
Duke: YOUR NOT THE BOSS OF ME!!! *Barfs*
Duke: OOOWWW Barf *eats Barf*
(Everyone else stares)
Seymour Asses: Dude, even I'm not high enough to eat my own barf!
I.P. Freely: I am! *runs over and eats barf* *barfs* *eats barf again*
Well the General Arrests them and they meet up with Emperor Mensgk who ends up helping them. Then he sends Jim's newly found girlfriend into a suicide mission who then gets captured by the Zerg and gets infested. The next episode will be Jime (hehehehehehehehehehe) and his men will try to escape Mensgk and Duke (who joined Mensgk).